There were not a small number of words that she hated being put together. But she's sure, that "I love you" is the most disgusting and annoying one. Valentine's day, February, the month of love and affection. How utterly bitter and loathsome those words tasted in her mouth. Looking at her reflection in the mirror she could never quite wipe the half sneer on her face off completely. The doll's hair was curled and pulled up into a loose side ponytail, a pretty diamond clip hid the hair tie and shimmers faintly as if trying to outshine its owner.
On this important day, the girl wore an off-shoulder navy blue star-covered lolita dress. The stars were not the traditional ones with five points but the kind to resembles the diamond in her hair. Around her neck, the girl wore a loose tear-shaped sapphire necklace that cleverly hung just above her chest. Paired with this outfit was a pair of simple dark almost black pair of heels she could not help but crinkle her nose at. Seeing her expression, the maid in charge of helping her with her make-up worriedly asks her.
"Young miss is the outfit not to your liking? Would you like us to take out a different dress?" There were plenty of beautiful dresses that were more to Hua Fan's taste in the closet, and although they were running out of time since she was the birthday girl no one would blame her for being late. But Hua Fan only looks at her reflection dismissively before rejecting her proposal. "No, Ye Ye sent this for me, I will wear it."
The maid looks over at her colleague with hints of worry since it was obvious the girl was in a bad mood. It's not she hated the outfit, she could never truly hate what her grandfather arranged for her. She was just in a foul mood today. No one knew the reason why but Hua Fan treated the birthday as if it was someone else's and did not truly look happy as a girl should on the day she could get away with almost anything she wanted. Twelve.
She had forgotten she was just twelve this year. The last time when she turned twelve, was it worth remembering? Her heart chills and the air around her becomes frigid without warning. That day...She had sat at the dining table alone with no one but Aunt Li by her side. The food was extravagant and boxes of expensive things were piled up high behind her.
Jewelry, purses, dresses, money, everything she could ever want was piled up like trash behind her extravagantly. But...no one wanted to share this "happy day" with her. Usually, she would have held a grand birthday celebration in the biggest banquet hall with a proud smile on her face while being personally congratulated by everyone who wanted to make a good impression on her due to her status. She would be handed gifts personally as people try to curry her favor despite her arrogant attitude. But that year no one personally handed her her gifts. No one smiled at her with envy in their eyes.
No. Instead of holding a large party without a budget, she could only celebrate in seclusion with no one but her maids attending to her. Her mother went to drink away her sorrows with her friends and her father was too busy to bother with her. She wasn't even sure if he recalled her birthday at all. Her grandfather was overseas and unaware of the situation at the time thinking that in under a year nothing would change so dramatically. Not to mention she had covered up for her father's misplaced care and acted strong without knowing no one was there to back up her words anymore.
She could still recall the shame she had felt that day, how lonely and aggravated she felt but the girl back then could do nothing but stare down into her lap with her hands curled into fists to hide her frustration. Aunt Li would do her best to try and comfort the girl but Hua Fan would keep quiet and glared at her lap silently without reacting. Lifting a hand up she stares at the back of her pale unblemished hand with a tilted head and mocking smile. She could even feel the droplets falling from her face, the warm but quickly chilling teardrops that fell from her face due to the young her's unseen pain. Birthday?
What's so special about birthdays? She can't recall anymore. At this point in her life, she can't even bring herself to pretend to love her birthday like she uses to anymore. At the most, she could make her grandfather relax today instead of overdoing it. She can't even feel sad about it. Isn't it ironic? In the month of February where one can see love blossoming in the air and good feelings all around she could not feel a shred of love in herself.
The gods must have done it on purpose, bringing her into the world at this time of year just to laugh and mock the girl who was born on the month of love and affection while not planning to give her any after giving her life. Bringing her hand to her hair she makes sure not a single strand is out of place, if Ye Ye wishes for her to be happy on this day she will show him a smile. Giving herself in the mirror a charming smile Hua Fan was satisfied with the smile, though, there was a chilly undertone in her eyes she couldn't hide. Like she said before, she was not an actress. "Tell Ye Ye I am ready to go and will arrive in half an hour."
The maids nod and leave the room quietly giving the solemn girl worried glances as they leave. Was the young miss truly alright? Opening her drawer Hua Fan took out a small pearl-colored box and opens it up to reveal a beautiful white and blue jade ring. She places the ring on her right thumb and rubs its outer layer. Though it was a bit big, she still wanted to wear it to try and comfort her numb heart.
The colors twirled perfectly together in harmony resembling a beautiful storm, one full of beauty rather than chaos. The first time she opened the box her heart had trembled fiercely and her smile had fallen immediately. She had almost throw it out of her hands had there not been the slightest bit of hesitation in her heart that told her not to throw the beautiful ring away. Staring down at the ring her eyes wander over to the other box with the original lay. Twirling the ring once, she took out the other box with her as she left her room calling for Zhong Zemin.