It had been so long since he had seen her since she had left her home due to him entering it. Huang Gou Heng had always felt guilty and wanted to apologize to the girl and clear up the misunderstanding but she had never returned. It only caused him to feel all the more terrible since although he was not as smart as the other people his age he understood their feelings towards him. And from the first day he entered that home, he knew that Zhou Feng Ming was truly treating him as his son just for the sake of his birth mother. He could not imagine the heartbreak and shock the girl went through but he knew she held a grudge against him.
The first few days when he did not see her around the house and heard from one of the maids that the young girl had holed up with her grandfather. He waited till she would calm down and return but a month had passed and she had yet to return thus causing Zhou Feng Ming and Xiao Yi Yue to argue every night. The butlers and maids were even ignoring him due to the conflicts at the house as his identity seemed to unsettle everyone but Zhou Feng Ming. He did his best to make his presence less noticeable since he could sense their dislike. He did not pity them but he did sympathize with their feelings as for them he had forced their true miss out of her home.
He just wanted to survive. Yet, it was unknown who snitched on who but after a while he started noticing some changes in the staff. And those people in the home slowly started one by one calling him "Young Master" much to his discomfort. It was only after this did he realize, she was not coming back. Whether she knew this would happen one day or not. To come back to a place where a random child was recognized as your parent's child instead of yourself...What an unwelcoming atmosphere. Although he had everything he could ever need or want within his grasp, Gou Heng felt a familiar emptiness in his heart after this realization.
It was odd. Back then, he would have given anything to have a proper meal and clothes. In the past, he would even fight with dogs and cats in the alleyways for food in the garbage while hiding small pieces of moldy bread as if it was his treasure. He would wait in the darkness until his mother came back to let him out after his punishments. There was always a reason for punishment back then. Now that she was gone, some foolish person his mother had ensnared with her last dying breath was willing to give him everything. But now that he has it all Gou Heng still could not fill that void inside. It was strange, no matter how much those people in that house smiled at him or flattered him no matter what. He could not help feeling like again, he was in a dull colorless world walking a road that had no meaning or purpose.
He robotically did as he was told, he studied and slowly caught up with his classmates. He became acquainted with people he was told to, and he spoke to any girl Feng Ming directed his attention to. Nothing but a few words and the girls would blush and act shy while Feng Ming would beam at him like he was a proud father. He never smiled at them nor did he say anything particularly nice but those people would still fawn over him and flatter him regardless. Why? Because Feng Ming wanted them to. The void in his heart continued to grow, he only felt that he had traded one empty home for another. There was no difference. In the end, he was still a tool used for others to control. A tool for someone else's profit.
Wasn't it strange? Was he that much of an ungrateful person? Huang Gou Heng could not understand why he felt this way. He should have been happy he was no longer left starving in an alleyway while his mother left to do business. He was no longer left in a dark dirty bathroom surrounded by spiders and insects that took him as part of the environment. There were no longer any loud noises from all four corners of that tiny box he had once lived in. Yet, Gou Heng still could not find it in himself to feel any sort of gratitude towards the one who took him away from all of that misery. Why was that? The void continues to swallow his consciousness once more as the small light in his eyes begins to fade...
...-hurt? He flinches from the little girl's touch and rose his head in her direction.
The boy's eyes were full of darkness and devoid of a human soul but the person in front of him was not afraid. "....What?" His voice was raspy and croaky sounding, it was unpleasant to the ears but she did not pay it any mind. Instead, the little girl's voice asks him again while gently touching his grimy sleeve with a bit of hesitancy. Does it hurt? The light behind the girl was blinding but for some reason, he could not stop staring at her. Even if it burned, even if it was painful to his eyes, he could not stop looking at her. Who was she again? Do I know her? The little girl took a hold of his sleeve and gently brushes her childlike fingers across his injuries, he flinches away as a strange nervousness due to self-consciousness floods back to him at this moment. A human emotion he had long forgotten about until now due to the girl's gentle touch.
For some reason, he did not want her to see those ugly scars on his body. The hideous marks left on him by the woman who raised him. He did not want to dirty her eyes. But why? The girl did not touch him again after he flinched away but her voice was as soft as an angel and in his ears, her voice resembled a beautiful nightingale in flight on a peaceful spring morning. .....Do you want me to sing you magic words my mommy taught me? Huang Gou Heng's heart began to race once more as he desperately looks at the girl for answers. "Who are you?" The girl covered in light did not answer him instead she began to sing in a sweet childish voice. Pain pain go away~
A sense of dread fills his whole body and soul. Don't sing! "Don't go-! Don't leave yet!" He did not know why he knew this but he knew if she finished singing, she would leave. And he would never see her again just like before. The girl did not hear him and continued to sing sweetly filling his ears with the sound of the song despite his pleas. "Don't go..." As if hearing his last cracked plea the girl abruptly stops singing. For a while the two sat in silence, then girl gave him a small smile. Does it no longer hurt? Gou Heng's heart leaped to his throat, choking on tears he raises a hand in her direction in a desperate attempt to feel that warmth once more. His tears clouded more of his vision making it even harder to see the girl's face.
That fleeting feeling of peace that was so close yet so far. "It hurts...It hurts.." Reverting to a child, Huang Gou Heng who failed to recall the past softly uttered cries and admitted to the angel he was in pain.
The boy cried in front of the angel but he did not know why he was crying. Everything was so numb until now but it was as if the numbness was suddenly gone in an instant in her presence. He was not ashamed of crying in front of the angel, he was not ashamed of showing her his weakness. Right now, he was more afraid of her leaving him again. She dithers before raising a hand and resting it on top of his dirty head petting him carefully. "If it hurts so much, how come you only cry now?" But upon hearing her words the boy only cried harder so the girl became flustered, not knowing how to comfort someone else. She pouted her adorable pink lips looking like a cute pink pufferfish, her pretty chocolate eyes looking at him helplessly.
"I-I didn't mean it badly...Don't cry. I-I-" The little girl puffs her cheeks as if aggravated but the little boy still didn't stop crying. So, although she was dissatisfied she still gave in unable to be mad at the little boy who was more pitiful than herself. She grumbled under her breath barely loud enough for the little boy to hear her. "I'm sorry...So, don't cry. Alright?" Her way of speaking was awkward as if she was not used to admitting her wrongs. But after hearing her apology, the boy didn't stop crying and even started shaking and crying harder startling the little girl. Her eyes widen and suddenly pools of tears begin forming.
"Wuuu-" The boy abruptly stopped his cries and looks over to the pretty little girl who pitifully began to wail crying to the sky. "Waah-! W-W-Why ar-are y-y-y-ou still cra-cra-crying?! Wuu-!" The little boy was obviously struck dumb by her tears. The aggravated little girl began crying even louder than himself, completely unlike his silent choked sobs the girl was clearly used to voicing her grievances. She accuses him rubbing her face red as tears endlessly fell from her adolescent face. "I-I already said sorry and-and(hiccup) even sang to you but you wuuuu-!!" Stunned by the development, the boy panicked and hesitated before raising his dirty hands to wipe her tears and snot away.
Surprisingly, the clean little girl didn't mind his dirty hands nor did she slap his hands away. She stared at him with her bottom lip trembling and eyes full of accusations. Her palm-sized face was full of aggravation and complaint towards the boy as if he had wronged her. The boy was flustered and although he too was full of sadness, he couldn't bear to let the little girl cry. "Don't cry..." She bitterly complains to him, "You can't cry." Saying this she sniffs sadly, so the boy helplessly nods agreeing to her demand. Feeling a bit better, the girl voiced her complaints to him arrogantly. "You-(Hiccup) You lept crying even though I sang for you."
He nods weakly, so feeling more confident the little girl sat up straighter and haughtily accuses the boy. "You can't cry after I said sorry! Otherwise-Otherwise-" She seemed stuck on what she could threaten him with, appearing cutely flustered before her eyes lit up and she triumphantly said. "-Otherwise my ye ye will send you far away where you can't get candy! My ye ye loves me a lot so-so if you make me sad again!" The boy could only meekly agree once more, afraid the little angel would shed tears if he didn't agree. So, the little doll who was crying like she had lost her favorite toy suddenly smiles brilliantly and proudly at the boy making him fall into a daze and grow red in the face.
"But as long as you listen to me and do everything I say, my ye ye will not send you away. So you have to listen to me from now on ok?" The little girl was sly and was obviously trying to coerce people, but in his eyes, it was very cute. With a bright red face, the boy nods his head to her command again delighting her. Happy to have scammed a boy older than her, the little girl generously took his hand. "Then, then since I'm a princess, you have to be my servant!" She declares. The little boy blinked at her, "You can't take it back!"
~
Huang Gou Heng opened his eyes staring at the ceiling above him numbly. The little girl's lively voice in his dream echoed in his head for a while before he fully woke from the drowsy state he was in. He pursed his lips and sat up looking around his luxury room emotionlessly, the look in his eyes growing darker by the second. That desperation and heartache after seeing the little girl cry... Huang Gou Heng covered his face with a single hand and sharply inhales, recognizing the eyes of the girl after coming to his senses. The little girl from back then he had almost forgotten...Zhou Hua Fan. Huang Gou Heng's body shook and the hand on his face fell back done onto the bed he lay on.
Dark hair scattered across his face hiding his expression from the dawning sun, Huang Gou Heng's shaky hand punched the mattress once. Then twice. Unable to stop the flood of anguish and shame from overflowing in his heart the teen punched the mattress below him repeatedly wrinkling the sheets violently. It was her?! It's really her? The girl's smile became more clear the more he thought and recalls the memory he lost. He held his breath as a throbbing pain in his chest struck him, Huang Gou Heng felt a deep self-loathing for his recent actions as he began connecting the girl's bright smile from the past to today's hallow smiles which did not meet the girl's eyes.
He laughs crookedly finding everything like a sick joke. So from the first day I had arrived, I shamelessly occupied someone else's home without any shame out of my will to survive. Yet, now you tell me that the person's house I occupied is the only one who has shown me kindness in my years as a dirtier than dog beggar? Huang Gou Heng chokes on his laughter, his outward expressions changing between hysteria and self-hatred. "This really must be someone's idea of a sick joke." He murmurs, still in a fit of disbelief.
~
For a while the person sat in their bed with a troubled expression, looking at the time he sighed once before straightening his back out of reflex and calling another number. It took a while but after four rings the phone was picked up and the person felt sweat coat his back even if the other person was not in front of him his identity was still a bit scary. "Housekeeper Shuang." Shuang Hui Ning massages his temples before responding cooly. "What is it that made you call at this time of night?"
Knowing they would get in on the housekeeper's bad side if they kept wasting time they did not hesitate to quickly describe the incident that took place merely seconds ago. After hearing of the event Hui Ning was unnaturally quiet as if thinking. Hearing nothing after a while the person spoke up hesitantly, "Housekeeper Shuang?" "Thank you for informing me, I will bring up the subject carefully to the old master tomorrow morning." The person let out a breath of relief and thanked Hui Ning many times before hanging up.
"It's better for Housekeeper Shuang to tell the old master rather than me. He will know how to bring up the subject without angering the old man." After murmuring this to himself he pushes the worries away and did his best to fall back asleep despite the uncomfortable feeling of guilt in his heart.