I was putting on the last touches of makeup. It wasn't too much, but I went for more elegant than natural.
It was the day of the wedding and my stomach was in knots.
Someone rang the doorbell.
"Come in!"
The doors opened and in barged Tristan. My eyes widened and I almost used jammed the mascara brush in my eye.
"What in the actual fuck Tristan!"
"Thank god you are still here. I was almost...Oh wow, you look...I mean you don't look bad."
I rolled my eyes: "Thanks, what else is new."
His face fell into a scowl.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Poland?"
"Yeah, I have to be at the airport in four hours."
"And yet, here you are. It's way too early in the morning to deal with whatever insanity you have on your mind."
I turned back to the mirror.
"My insanity? You are the one going to your ex's wedding so you could pull ˝My best friend's wedding˝ on him."
I grunted and put the brush down and found his gaze in the mirror.
"Are you still on that? I thought we established that I couldn't care less what you thought. No matter how brilliantly persuasive that ˝My best friend's wedding˝ argument was," I quipped sarcastically.
"You do know how that movie ends right?"
I didn't notice that he moved closer until I turned and almost bumped into him. We were standing in scarily close proximity and I could see in his tense body language that he didn't quite anticipate that either. But nor he nor I was prepared to back down.
"Julia Roberts loses."
I lifted my chin so I was closer to his face.
"That's because she wasn't blond."
I stepped back a little smugly and reached toward my purse, but Tristan grabbed my wrist.
"If you are so sure that you are the one he wants, then answer me one question."
"Let go of me."
"Will you listen?"
"I don't have to do anything."
"You are right," he released me out of his surprisingly gentle grip and I went toward the door, "Go. Make a fool out of yourself. I won't turn down free entertainment."
I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. I knew perfectly what he was doing, but something in his voice dared me to listen.
"Fine," I crossed my hands over my chest, "Ask me the damn question?"
"If you loved him that much and if he loved you as much as you claim, why did you never bother to make time? Why didn't you visit each other more?"
I blinked, slightly shaken.
"Wha...I...Does only spending every minute together qualifies you for being able to fall in love. Or be in love."
"No, but when you are I presume you want to spend as much time as you can with that person. And you did say you haven't seen each other in a year. Even if I haven't been in love before, I presume that's a pretty long time."
"I was busy ok. We both were."
"You are not in the army Margo. You are a god damn CEO, I'm pretty sure your boss could have given you at least a free weekend."
I tried being angry, but all he said was true. I always bitched about how much I missed him, but I never actually did that much about it. And neither did he. To think about it, we did only got together if we happened to be in the same country. If my plane had a layover or if he visited family. We never went out of our way to meet. The realization didn't sit well with me at all. Actually, it made me a little bit sick.
"He doesn't love does he?" I finally said with an extremely choked up voice, because no matter how much I tried I couldn't get rid of the lump in my throat.
He moved closer again, but this time the proximity wasn't unwanted. Maybe if I wasn't so preoccupied with my emotions slipping I might be a little worried that Tristan of all people, had the ability to comfort me.
When the first tear fell he wrapped his hands around me in a hug and instead of pushing him away, I just curled closer and started crying into his chest.
"I know it sounds awful, but think about it. What would you have said if he asked you to marry him?" he asked after some time in almost complete silence if you didn't count my sniffling.
I didn't even have to think hard about that question before I answered: "I would have said no."
I felt him nod.
"Well then," he rested his chin on top of my head "It was lucky in a way."
He had a point, but I couldn't quite feel all that luck.
"I need alcohol," I said in a gruff voice after some time. I wasn't usually a fan of it, but right now it sounded just perfect to get hammered.
He let go of me and I kind of missed the warmth.
"I figured you might, so..." he pulled a bottle of vodka out of his knapsack and shook it in front of my face "I brought this."
He handed it to me and I looked at the label.
"I haven't seen this one before."
"it's great, believe me."
We stood opposite each other in awkward silence. I cleared my throat.
"Well, uhm, thanks. For, uh, yeah."
He smiled: "Do you want me to stay for a while. I mean I have absolutely nothing to do for the next three hours."
"Sure. I know you can't drink that close to the game, but at least it'sm slightly less pathetic as drinking alone."
"Is it?"
I punched his arm: "Fuck off."
X
"You are in-insane."
My head was swimming already and I started slurring, but since I soloed almost half of the bottle, that wasn't surprising.
"No, it's just that German terrorists don't put me in that jolly spirit."
I laughed. I always laugh at everything when I'm drunk. He chuckled as well. I gulped down another mouth full of vodka and he took the bottle away.
"Hey!"
I tried reaching it but couldn't. I was laying almost on top of him, but his damn hands were too long.
"I don't want to risk alcohol poisoning."
"You are not risking it."
"I know. But I don't want you to get your stomach pumped either."
I pushed myself away from him. We were both sitting on the floor after I tumbled off the sofa around half an hour ago.
"Why are you helping me?"
"Because stomach pumping is a total bitch."
I shook my head, which tussled my previously perfect hairdo even more.
"No. Not that. Why are you helping wth-with...all of this? Why did you stop me from going to the wedding?"
He sighed and leaned on his arm so our fingers were nearly touching.
"I just didn't want you to make a mistake like this. Because I don't hate you and I know you don't hate me either. I mean we don't get along and we tease each other, but that's about it."
My eyes were wide and mouth opened. When I'm drunk my ability to compose myself enough for a poker face really lessens. I tried to feign nonchalance with a slight huff.
"Speak for yourself."
He smirked and leaned even closer.
"Oh please, I know you were the one that wrote a letter to the volley association, where you ˝subtly˝ hinted that I might be someone they should send their scouts to check out."
I barked a laugh and threw my head back onto the couch's cushion.
"How did-did you figure it out?" I hickuped.
"My coach told me about the letter. So I figured it had to be someone with a lot of pull with the association. So a doner probably. And I knew your company donates. Of course, it could have been Aron, but he doesn't have access to those big company cheques."
We were really close. His eyes were such a rich colour. Chocolate brown with specks of gold, that Caleb lacked. And suddenly his stupid red hair wasn't so stupid anymore. I gulped. No, no, no. My drunk brain was such a fucking moron.
I licked my lips.
"Why did you do it?"
Maybe I was imagining, but I heard his voice quiver.
I looked down at my hands, suddenly feeling nervous under his eyes.
"Ok, um, if you ask me about this or tell anyone I will deny it, but I think you are one hell of a good player."
I moved even closer as I said the last part. Our legs were touching and I could smell his minty fresh breath. He didn't scoot away even though I doubted my breath was that pleasant to be around.
"And I think you are one hell of a good CEO."
He chuckled and I didn't understand what came over me when I leaned in and captured his lips with mine. I couldn't quite believe my own idiocy.
The kiss was sloppy and definitely not my best work, but when he started responding we fell into a rhythm and god damn, if I knew this was going to be I wouldn't have spent so much time arguing with him. Because this was a whole new experience for me. With Isaac, it was always more sensual and romantic. This was fire. Pure and simple. Maybe the tension wasn't always just annoyance after all.
When he moved away I followed his lips for a few centimetres until I opened my eyes. I practically jumped away from him and buried my face in my hands.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He pulled my hands away so we could be eye to eye. But he didn't release them. His palms were surprisingly soft.
"The reason I stopped was that you are drunk and angry. And when you kiss me I want it to be sober and you actually want to."
I just stared at him, saying nothing.
"So, this is my idea. When I come back why don't we, of course only if you want to, have sex?"
I stopped breathing for a second. I scrunched my nose and narrowed my eyes.
"Um...WHAT THE FUCK TRISTAN?!"
He let go of my hands.
"What? Think about it. We are obviously attracted to each other, neither of us is looking for anything serious right now and after a month or two I'll be back in Korea and we'll forget about it. No harm no foul."
I scoffed: "You are ridiculous."
"Am I? Or do you just not like it when I make sense?"
Yes.
"No."
He smirked like he knew what I was thinking.
"Well, I have to go."
He gave me a peck on the cheek and stood up.
"See you in two weeks," he said in a cheery voice.
He opened the door and turned to me again.
"Root for me."
He winked and closed them.
I drew my legs to my chest and I felt the blush creeping on my cheeks. I smiled slightly.
The brother's friend huh? What a cliche.
X
(Vanessa POV)
I was watching Levi dress himself. Or at least try to dress himself. His sweater was proving itself to be a challenge.
I snickered: "Do you need help?"
"Nope," he finally found the right hole to stick his head out of, "I made it."
I got out of bed and walked toward him.
"You sure did," I brushed my fingers down his torso "I'm so proud."
He smiled and kissed me.
His kisses always made me lose myself in the moment. there were not many things that can make my sometimes overbearing mind quiet down. Levi and I spent the night together at my place this time because I knew Aron would be away for the night. And it was great, downright magical. But that wasn't surprising. Levi was magic all on his own. Which scared me, since I knew I started feeling things for him again, maybe not as strong as they once were, but they were feelings none the less. We were still hiding, which frankly wasn't ideal, but what choice did we have?
His parents would have killed him and his siblings would have killed me.
"Come on. Aron will be here any minute."
I dragged him out of my room toward the exit when he pulled me into a kiss again.
I wish some of my brain cells hadn't turned into a puddle, because then maybe I would have noticed my roommate and, based on his angered expression, former best friend entering the apartment. I avoided his icy blue orbs.
"Levi could you please wait in the hall."
Levi, who seemed paler, just nodded and left the room. When we were alone Aron wasted no time.
"How long?"
"I don't know. Three weeks, a month."
He nodded.
"Ok. You do know how stupid this is right?"
Do you have any idea how disastrous the consequences will be."
This was the first time I lifted my eyes to him. He wasn't as much angry anymore as he was worried and disappointed.
"I know how disastrous the consequences will be. Demetra was very specific."
He was taken aback by that. His eyebrows almost in his hairline."
"Demetra knows?"
"She won't say anything."
He almost looked like he wanted to roll his eyes.
"Of course she won't. It's you."
"What do you mean?"
He shook his head: "It's not important. What is though, is the fact that he," Ar pointed toward the door, "Is engaged."
"I know."
"No, I don't think you do. Because he is marrying Sally or Suzy..."
"Sandra."
"Whatever. He is marrying her no matter what you do. There is no scenario where he ends up not married."
I turned away, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"I'm sorry. But you are going to be the one who ends up hurt the most."
"I don't want to break up," my voice cracked.
He stepped to me and gave me a tight hug.
"I'm sorry. But this is for the best, I think. You two would never have worked. Do you remember how toxic you were towards the end?"
I did remember. I tried ignoring it, of course, trying to convinced myself that this time it was different. But it wasn't actually, because we started our first relationship in the exact same way. We were all over each other, we got along perfectly, always on the same page, we were the perfect couple. The problem came when the bubble burst. We were, or are, a little too similar. We started getting bored, so we argued. We hurt one another because we could. We were completely dysfunctional and more everyone tried telling us that, more we tried staying together. Both too stubborn for our own good. Of course, we acted all nice in front of Levi's family. I kind of shielded him from getting an arranged marriage. I knew this was one of the reasons he stuck with the relationship. I don't know what would have happened if it weren't for that fight. For that idiotic, useless fight, the content of which was so meaningless I cannot remember for the life of it, what it actually was. The thing I do remember however, with clarity, was what followed.
I went into a bar, where I ran into Micha, who I let take me home.
I couldn't resent him for that since it was me who cheated. What I did resent was Micha telling Levi. At least I can say is that the following argument wasn't one I forgot. We broke up and I was 100% certain Levi will never again want to talk to me. But what stuck in my mind the most, was the heartbreak, not only from losing Levi but losing Aron for a short time too.
"I screwed up."
"You both did," his voice was soft and oh so comforting.
"Please, don't hate me."
"I don't. I didn't then. I'm mostly worried. What I do hate is seeing both of you hurt."
"I have to talk to him."
"he is probably still in the hallway."
"You think?"
"Well, I did tell him to wait."
I chuckled and wiggled out of his embrace. I gave him a weak smile and stepped into the hallway where Levi was indeed still sitting.
"On the floor huh?" I said as I sat beside him "Not very duke-y of you."
"I'm not a duke."
"Yet."
"Yet."
We weren't silent for long until I couldn't take it anymore.
"I think we should stop this."
He turned to me. I didn't face him. But I could tell he agreed.
"Do you want to?"
I huffed: "Not really, but I know how this ends. It's not pretty."
"You should stop feeling guilty. It was just a matter of time. If you hadn't done it, I probably would. Or at least something just as dumb."
"This sucks."
"Yes. But I think it's still better than the last time."
I snickered.
"It would be hard to top that."
The silence settled between us again.
"Do you think you'll be able to fall in love with Sandra?"
"Why?"
"I would feel better knowing that you have a potential for actually having a happy love life. And marriage."
"Yeah, I-I think I can. One day."
I smiled and stood up. He followed.
"Well then," I hugged him "Good luck. With everything."
"Yeah. You too."
He left without another word and this time the goodbye was final.
X
I knocked on the doors. Not mine. I couldn't quite face Aron again. Even if he wasn't angry. Demetra opened after maybe a minute.
"You split up, didn't you?"
I nodded.
She gave me a warm smile that brightened her whole face.
"Come in."