I was reading a new case file, but couldn't really concentrate. There was only one thing on my mind. It's my one year anniversary today. My first ever. I felt giddy and nervous.
"Can you stop tapping your damn foot?"
Lukas looked a lot better than he did last week. Still not completely himself, but his wonderful personality did make a comeback.
"Sorry."
I tried to focus on the words written before me. We had a custody battle on our hands. Our company represented the father. Now we have to find some dirt on the mother or I will have to prove in some way that she is unfit.
"We will lose this case."
I lifted my eyes to him. He wasn't looking at me. His gaze fell on the wall across from him.
"Why do you say that?"
"Statistically more women win the custody than men. There is also the fact that the jury is more likely to side with the mother from the very beginning."
He was correct. Fathers have a clear disadvantage.
"Especially because this guy cheated and had several mistresses on the side that were not free."
He still hasn't looked at me.
"Cheating doesn't make him a bad father," I said.
"True. But it is something they can use against him and they will."
"He still may be a better choice for a parent than the mother."
"Why?"
"She shows some signs of depression."
He turned to me, his eyes wide.
"What?"
I haven't seen him like this in a while. Tight jaw, nails digging into his palm.
I started slowly: "Her husband said she slept more than took care of her children. She neglected them like she neglected work. He also saw her crying at random and he claims she refused to eat. He tried to take her to a psychiatrist, but she flipped just at the idea. They are classic signs. Very textbook."
His breath quickened. If I didn't know him I could have missed it.
"He-he could have lied."
"Does it matter? It's leverage. We only need to put doubt in the heads of the jury and we are golden."
"Being depressed doesn't make her unfit!"
What the hell was happening? Lukas was usually the one that wanted to use anything if it helps us win.
"More unfit than a father that cheats."
He was huffing. Ok seriously...What the fuck was happening?!
X
I kind of got caught up in the case and forgot about the clock. When I did figure out what time it is, I panicked. It was 15 past five and my date was at six, yet I still needed to go home and shower. I started grabbing my things and was already halfway out of the door when Lukas spoke.
"We need to write a report!"
"Ugh, can you just cover for me?"
"No."
"What?! I did it for you multiple times!"
"That was your stupid choice."
"Come on man, I have an anniversary today, so can you just do one nice thing for me?"
He looked bewildered.
"Ok."
Didn't think he would agree that fast.
"Seriously?"
"Mhm. Just think of it as my Christmas, birthday, wedding and ˝anything else I would need to buy something for you˝ present."
"Thanks."
"Are you going like this?"
"I am going to shower."
"I meant the suit."
I looked down at it.
"What's wrong with it?"
"The tie doesn't match at all. I am used to your inability to combine colours but I think you could try to look presentable for your big day."
"All my others are at the dry cleaners."
He rolled his eyes and started untying his own sky blue one. He handed it to me.
"You can borrow it. If there is the tiniest stain on it I will strangle you."
I just stared at the tie in my palm. That was probably the nicest thing he has ever done for me.
"Thank you. Really I..."
"Yeah whatever, just go already."
X
Sitting across from Matthew almost felt unreal. We have been together for a year. And I haven't fucked up anything yet. The restaurant was something fancy and french Margo recommended. I just kind of figured we should go somewhere romantic to celebrate, so I made a reservation. I am not really a romantic but this wasn't bad. At all. Only then did I realize that Matt was staring at me.
"What?"
"Nothing I just...I'm happy."
He is so corny, but I love it. I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers.
"Me too."
He smiled. I don't know why but there was a little sadness behind his eyes. When our dessert came I finally gathered the courage to say: "I wanted to ask you if you would like to come with me to my English estate for Christmas."
I gulped. I almost heard Lukas telling me to stop tapping my foot.
His mouth was slightly opened and his eyes showed how surprised he was.
"I thought you said you don't want to go back there."
"Yes, I didn't, but I want you to see a part of my life that not a lot of people know about. That's my gift to you. If you'll do me the honors and visit it with me."
That sounded so ridiculous. He nodded and his smile got wider. I think there were tears in his eyes.
"I would love to. And this is my gift," he handed me a bag.
"I know it can't really compare to yours but..."
I looked inside and thought I will start crying myself. I can't believe he remembered. I took it out. It was a teddy bear. I mentioned to him once that as a child I never had one, because my parents didn't want us to have plushy toys. For some god damn reason. I squeezed it.
"You remembered."
"I always thought it was kind of sad."
"I love you."
It was the first time I told him. He hesitated for a moment and then smiled.
"I love you too."
I knew it was genuine, but there was this slight sadness again.