When a solitary ray of light filters through the curtains, I open my eyes.
For a moment, I think that I'm still in Polis: under siege, yet safe. I'm used to getting up early, so I don't feel too tired.
However, my muscles ache because of the long journey and all the emotions from yesterday. I'm also thirsty, because of the wine.
As my eyes start to discern the shapes of the objects in the room, I remember that I'm no more a queen. From today, I'm officially a commoner. I smile, feeling the freedom all jobless people have.
We don't have a complex nobility caste in Polis, so a name is not enough to make a living.
I turn towards the other side of the bed. The Duke is still sleeping.
He looks less dangerous with his eyes closed and in such a comfortable environment. From here, one wouldn't guess how tall and overbearing he is when awake.
I reach out and rub the tip of his hair with a finger. It's so soft that I wish I could touch more, but it's not the case to take advantage of a sleeping man.
The Duke's senses must still be on alert because of the war since he wakes up. Luckily, I've already retracted my arm.
«Good morning,» he says with a smile that makes my heart skip a beat.
He's not teasing me, nor threatening. His expression is so gentle that, for a moment, I believe we've known each other way longer than the few days that can be summed up considering the last two years.
I couldn't imagine that his morning face was so charming. It's so natural that I smile back by instinct.
«It's still early, your grace,» I say. «I didn't intend to bother you.»
He chuckles and sits on the bed. I envy the hand he passes through his hair. I'd like to do the same, but I know it's too forward. Maybe, one day, he'll allow me to freely touch his hair.
«Indeed, it is early,» he admits. «Old habits are hard to die, aren't they?»
I blink, confused. Old habits? My life changed a few days ago. Also, any attitude I might have had, it's disappeared during the last week. I couldn't sleep, eat or wash with any regularity.
Maybe, he's talking about himself. It must be it, right? I don't see another solution. It would have been weird if he was referring to me, now that I think about it.
I rub my forehead, trying to reorder my confused thoughts. I'm becoming dumb, as of lately. Am I ageing perhaps?
When the Duke moves the covers to get up, I realise that I can't let him go.
I've taken the decision to make this marriage work, and the first step is not to leave any chance for invalidation. I have to convince the Duke to consummate before he has time to complain to the Emperor.
I don't know why the Emperor wanted specifically to marry us when he could just give me to the Duke as a war prisoner. Yet, I can't waste this chance. Being the wife of a high-ranking noble is certainly better than being a slave. Not that there's so much difference in Ethiro law, but at least a wife has some protection that slaves do not have.
I stretch out my hand and pull the Duke's sleeve.
«Don't go yet,» I whisper. I bite my lower lip, hoping that I'm not being too forward.
The Duke stops moving and turns to me. He observes my face for a while, before sitting back and entwining our fingers.
«What?» he utters. He already knows what I want to say, but he still wants to hear it from me. How shameless! Can't he see this Queen's red cheeks?
«We haven't...» I start, but the embarrassment prevents me from finishing the sentence.
«What?» he repeats, patiently waiting for my words. «What haven't we done?»
I close my mouth but don't let go of his hand. I'm sure the Duke knows what I'm referring to, so I'll just wait until he moves on and takes a decision.
I look at him silently, starting to get used to this silence. The Duke stares back as if he has all the time in this world.
«I don't want to be the wife of a man that doesn't want to touch me,» I say when I understand that this tension won't die down alone.
«Is that so?»
I nod, and the Duke smiles again, this time quite mischievously.
He moves on the mattress and reaches me. He pins my chin and presses his lips on mine. When his tongue finds his way in my mouth, I wince surprised and abruptly move back.
His sudden boldness has surprised me so much that I fall on my back with an astounded expression.
The Duke doesn't change his mind, fortunately. He doesn't look too bothered by my reaction, and he lies next to me. His eyes are observing my face with a curious light, and he's smiling amused.
«I'm sorry. I was surprised,» I try to explain, but the Duke isn't really listening to my blabbering. He seems lost in his thoughts, while his fingers caress my cheek tenderly.
When he bows down to kiss me again, I clench the sheets and set my mind on not reacting weirdly. I split my lips lightly and close my eyes.
The sound of the door makes me reopen them, and I turn towards the servant that just came in.
The Duke turns as well, with a burning look.
«Get out!» he shouts, and the door is soon closed in a hurry.
Without noticing, I've clenched his clothes to prevent him from leaving. My back has left the mattress, and I'm hanging from his shirt like a monkey. My fingers are white because of the tight hold, and my eyes widened in panic.
The Duke's face is now back to normal, but I can't believe that the first time I've seen him angry was for something as trivial as a door opened at the wrong moment. His eyes had darkened, showing such a temper for only a moment. I shiver only remembering it.
When he turns to me, though, he's smiling again.
I let go of his shirt. He pecks my temple and my cheek, then my chin and moves down on my neck. I tilt my head to the side, leaving him space. His lips caress my skin, and his breath tickles.
His hand moves on my thigh, slowly caressing the part of the leg under the nightgown.
The servant that came in will surely tell someone of the scene he assisted to, so I'm glad that I'll have witnesses if the Duke tries to annul the marriage. I bet the maids and the other servants are still behind the door, with their ears glued to the wood.
The Duke's morning performance will be soon of public knowledge, and I'll be recognised as his lawful wife. I will be safe, at least for a while.
A bite on my breast, given through the fabric of the clothes, wakes me up.
«Don't get distracted!» the Duke's voice warns me, and I remember what I'm supposedly doing.
While I was scheming, my nightgown was lifted and is now uncovering my thighs. The ribbon on my chest has been untied, leaving my collarbones and part of the shoulders exposed.
I should have paid more attention. Have I missed something important while lost in my thoughts?
The Duke returns my gaze with a stern expression, and I blush, wondering how did he notice that I wasn't here. He looked so focused, a moment ago.
«You're the one that asked for this, yet you're now thinking about something else...» he utters, letting his glance slip over the line of my neck and chest. «You were so desperate that you clung on me when you thought we were being interrupted.»
His tone is more miserable than annoyed. It's like he's a little kid complaining about the sly nanny that took away his toy. I can't find any word appropriate for the moment, so I just stare back at him with my eyes wide. I'm sure about a single thing, right now: I can't let him go.
Not after a servant saw what we're doing. If the Duke gets out now, they will know that we didn't do anything. It doesn't matter if we don't consummate, as long as he doesn't leave too soon.
The Duke said that I'm desperately clinging to him. Desperate is definitely the right word to describe my situation.
And another desperate move is the only thing that can save me from this odd situation. I don't know what to do, so I don't have any other choice than to mimic the Duke and follow my instinct.
Not to mention that being rejected by my own husband is rather unsettling. Will he leave me here if I tell him my true feelings?