Excited chatter between Jaehwan and his doctor broke the silence of their house. Aki was studying some everyday phrases that he'd use in Korean just so he could familiarise himself with the language. Dr. Yoo glanced at the door and smiled. "He's trying hard. What a good boyfriend you've got,". Jaehwan just smiled to himself, holding a wet towel in his hands. "I'm lucky. He really does work hard,". Dr. Yoo picked up her bag, handing Jaehwan his medicine. "Take these in larger doses. After a meal, 2 times a day. The other ones are to regulate your blood and your stress. You should be more careful,".
Accepting the medicine meekly, he bid his doctor farewell and sank into the comfort of the down pillows that supported his back. "I'm glad Dr. Yoo lets me speak Korean with her. It just feels more natural,"He laughed to himself, feeling the soft satin sheets brush against his cold neck. Aki entered the room again, holding the workbook that his partner gave him. "Are you okay?". Jaehwan stretched out his arms and put them around Aki's neck as he got close. "Yeah, I'll be okay now. The medicine Dr. Yoo gave me is stronger but it'll work,". Aki kissed his beloved on the neck, melting into his scrawny arms. "Jae, I can't imagine how you feel. Being so ill and there's problems with getting appropriate treatment. I feel bad for you,".
Slim fingers tousled curly locks of brown hair. "Well, being ill frequently has taught me to be more grateful. I appreciate what I have around me more than ever. Especially people like you,"Jaehwan grinned, letting Aki rest in his embrace. He felt bad that Aki had to look after him and expend so much energy on something as mundane as that. He did feel sorry about it. Aki had tried to get Shujin to come over but all Shujin sent was a 'get well soon' card and some money. Although it was good that he was covering Jaehwan's medical bills, he clearly couldn't have cared beyond that. Heck, perhaps the only reason he even bothered enough was because Aki hounded him to.
Jaehwan couldn't have imagined how Shujin had gone from treating him as if he were something so precious, a treasure, to treating him like a distant relative. He didn't know what he did wrong and Shujin never told him anything. So why? What could have possibly happened? Jaehwan hugged Aki close to him, smiling to himself. "Kiki, sleep. You've been studying so much today,". Aki nodded and buried his face into Jaehwan's small chest. "Will do, babe,". Aki snuggled against his boyfriend, arms hugging his waist. He could feel how much thinner Jaehwan had become and his heart felt as if it was breaking. If anything, he pitied Jaehwan.
'I'll make a lot of delicious food for him. Hopefully, he can gain at least half a pound. It'd do him good'. Aki thought to himself as Jaehwan stroked his locks of curly hair tenderly. 'He's just too frail now. His hair feels brittle as well. He just doesn't deserve to live as miserably as this'. Eventually, Aki fell asleep in Jaehwan's arms, vowing to make plenty of tasty and filling meals for Jaehwan. He hoped that Jaehwan could gain enough weight to be in the ideal range for the surgery he was supposed to go through with. Jaehwan was always in pain and he was basically so thin, he might as well be wasting away.
The fact that Shujin was adding to Jaehwan's misery didn't help. Aki realised that his partner had become quieter. When he smiled, the minute Aki looked away, it faded instantly. That was dangerous. But unless Shujin was willing to be truthful and cooperate, there was nothing Aki could do about it. He huffed and cuddled with Jaehwan, trying to get some rest. Jaehwan could feel Aki's calm breathing and relaxed. He looked to the sky and felt his mind moving towards a dark memory. An event so traumatic, he just couldn't get rid of it.
He did try to plant it at the very back of his mind. But whenever he spoke in Korean with Dr. Yoo, it just kept coming back.
"Shut up! Do you even hear yourself speaking?!".
Violently shaking his head, Jaehwan tried to ignore it. Shujin's loud and harsh scoldings just trickled back into the frontlines of his memories.
"Jaehwan, what languages am I raising you in?".
"J-Japanese and English".
"So why are you trying to learn Korean? Why are you trying to speak to the staff in Korean?".
"B-Because they are Korean. D-Doesn't it make sense?".
"Are you stupid? None of them understand you. Why do you even bother?".
"Oh...".
"Stop wasting your time. You may be Korean, Jaehwan. But, I'm not letting you speak in a language that I can't understand. It's selfish. Clear?".
"Yes, Master. I'm sorry for trying to speak in Korean,".
"Good boy. Don't let me hear anything of sorts from that language ever again,".
Shujin had guilt tripped Jaehwan for speaking in a language he felt more comfortable in. He told Jaehwan that the staff couldn't understand him and to stop trying when in fact, they could understand him. He just instructed them to keep their mouths shut around Jaehwan if they wanted to keep their job. Then, something awful happened. The very thing that was the nail in the coffin to Jaehwan isolating himself from the staff at home. Shujin had just returned home from work that evening. He was in a bad mood and took his anger out on Jaehwan.
Several blows were made to Jaehwan's arms and legs with his belt. He abandoned Jaehwan in the bedroom to cry about it while he left to cool off. Being a child at the tender age of 14, of course Jaehwan's fragile heart couldn't handle being beaten up over absolutely nothing by someone he thought he could trust. Still, he decided not to make a fuss of it and hid under the bed so he could cry to himself. However, a group of maids heard him sobbing under the bed. They were Korean and could understand everything that Jaehwan was crying about to himself.
"W-Why did he hit me? W-Why am I such a bad child? Not even my own M-Master loves me,".
Their hearts softened but they had to remain stone cold. It pained them to have to ignore him, to pretend that they couldn't understand the poor child's cries of pain. Except for one maid. Hwang Jiyeon. She had to clean Shujin's room with her colleagues and heard Jaehwan's muffled sobbing from under the bed. Hours passed and she couldn't stand Jaehwan's crying anymore. The more he cried, the more it just broke her heart. She wondered if she should really be working for someone as cruel as Shujin.
"Hwan-ie has been crying for some time now. I think he's badly injured,".
Her colleagues sighed and looked down, guilt shining through their expressionless face. "Well, we can't do anything about it. I'm not in a position to lose my job over something like this,". Jiyeon looked to the bed and to her friends. "Don't you pity him? He's been wailing his lungs out and the Master doesn't even care,". Her colleagues just shrugged and went on their merry way to continue cleaning the house.
"We can't do anything about it. The Master will be angry if he finds out that we tried to comfort Hwan-ie. Just get back to work,".
As she watched them flounce away, she sighed. This job paid well. She had plenty of reasons to stay. Plenty of reasons to walk away, ignore all of Jaehwan's crying. Yet, she had more reasons to walk away from this job. She had seen how Shujin treated Jaehwan and she felt like she had seen enough. The mental and physical abuse, the sexual coercion, and heck, even denying him the right to speak in Korean. She felt like she was lucky to be able to return home twice a year if this was how Jaehwan was being treated. She looked to the bed and to the door.
Jaehwan seemed to have gone quiet now. He was probably exhausted out of his mind from sobbing himself dry. She stood her ground and left the room.
Minutes later, she returned with a first aid kit and a glass of water. Her friends had called her crazy for trying to comfort and tend to Jaehwan's wounds. But Jiyeon thought they were crazier for watching a child being abused and not really doing anything about it. Sure, their job was on the line. But, a child's precious life was on the line too. To Jiyeon, she'd rather be fired and stopped from working under such a cold blooded person than to keep working and watch even more horrors unfold. She kneeled by the bed and called out to Jaehwan softly.
"Hwan-ie, it's me, the maid who facilitates you in the study. You remember me right?".
Jaehwan nodded, staring at her face from under the bed. She was speaking in Korean. Her gentle voice gave him a lilt of comfort. He sniffled and wiped his tears with the hem of his shirt.
"The Master has left the house for the night, you can come out now,".
Crawling out from under the bed, Jiyeon could see the number Shujin had done on his arms and legs. Slash marks from being whipped with a hard leather belt covered Jaehwan's skin as if he had the striped pattern of a tiger. 'No wonder he's been crying. Those look like they'd hurt a lot'. She treated his wounds, applying a cooling gel to them before she bandaged them. After that she tucked him in bed and read him a story until he fell asleep. Jaehwan did look much happier after she comforted him. That smile, after hours of weeping, meant more to her than seeing her paycheck in her account.
Yet, Shujin wasn't very happy when he arrived home again and noticed that Jaehwan was tucked in bed with his wounds treated. He was furious. How dare the staff interact with Jaehwan when he ordered them to pretend like the boy didn't exist. He wanted to round them up and scold them but he was far too tired. He just got changed, pulled Jaehwan into his arms and fell asleep. However, the next morning, someone anonymous had tipped Jiyeon off to Shujin. After a harsh scolding all morning long, she was let go from her job.
Watching the whole thing unfold, Jaehwan felt terrible. 'Ms. Hwang was fired because of me. Why am I so selfish?'. Shujin stormed into their room and informed Jaehwan that Jiyeon indeed had been let go and it was all his fault. "Why did you accept any help from her? You should have known better than to be so selfish, Jaehwan,". The boy ducked his head, feeling sorry for the maid. "I'm sorry for being selfish, Master. I really am,". Shujin sighed and pulled Jaehwan up, hauling him to a dog's bed in the corner of the room. "Lie there and think about what you did,". Jaehwan sat on the small dog's bed, facing the wall.
"Remember this Jaehwan. I'm only saying this once. Never ever and I mean never, speak to any of the staff again. If they speak to you, you tell me their names. If you speak to them, I'll spank you until your bottom half is paralysed. Clear?". Jaehwan got on his knees, turned to face his Master and nodded. "Yes, Master. I'll do as you say,". Shujin gave him a strict nod of approval and folded his arms. "Face the wall. You're not allowed to leave that corner until I say so,". Obediently, Jaehwan turned to face the wall, feeling miserable on the inside.
From that day onwards, Jaehwan kept himself as distant from the staff as possible. He never asked them for help anymore for the fear that they would lose their jobs over helping him. Worst of all, he hadn't spoken to anyone else in Korean. He was afraid of Shujin, and that fear fueled Shujin's need to remain superior over a helpless child. He fed off Jaehwan's fear of him. That's how he remained in power. That concluded Jaehwan's unpleasant journey down memory lane.
Snapping out of it, Jaehwan shot up and turned to the window. The bright afternoon sun shone through. He held his head and groaned. Turning to Aki, he tucked his lover in bed and left their bedroom to get a glass of water. He hobbled down the stairs, looking at Asuna, who was watching television. He got his glass of water and then thought for a bit. Perhaps he could go drive over to see Shujin. It wouldn't take too long right? He had to leave without telling Aki because he knew that if Aki found out that he was driving to Shujin's place while ill, he would flip.
Tying a scarf around his neck, car keys jangling in his pocket, he drove off to Nagano. He was still in pyjamas but it didn't matter. He would go in, check on his Master and then leave if he was allowed to. When he got there the staff were reasonably worried that Jaehwan had turned up. He requested to see his Master and before they could respond to him, Jaehwan dashed up the staircase himself. He made his way to their bedroom and opened the door. He was ready to greet Shujin and surprise him but what greeted his eyes was enough to make his stomach twist.
His Master was in bed with another man.
.
.
.
"Hm? Where did he go?". Aki sat up on the bed, looking at the empty space next to him. He looked at the coat rack and noticed that Jaehwan's coat and scarf were gone too. He must have gone out while Aki was asleep. But where to? He glanced at the alarm clock and immediately stood up. "I have to take Suna-chan home in an hour. I should get up,". He went downstairs and checked the geometric glass pot that was used to keep the keys near the doorstep. Jaehwan's car keys had gone as well.
'He probably left to get gas. I don't think he'd go far. Not especially in his current condition'.
After he got dressed and helped Asuna pack up her stuff. Jaehwan still hadn't returned yet and it made Aki feel antsy. He looked through his contacts and found the number to the cafe. Jaehwan couldn't possibly have gone to work. Especially while he's as ill as that. He called the number just in case and Yamato picked up. "Did Jaehwan go into work today?". "Huh? What do you mean? He hasn't been coming to work because of health issues. Surely you know that much, you live with him,". Aki was dumbstruck. "Well...I was just wondering where he was because he left without telling me,". Yamato huffed and heard his name being called by Manami, probably to man the counter. "Oh, I have to go. Perhaps try checking the Boss' place. He must have gone there,".
Before Aki could ask who their boss was, Yamato hung up. But logically, it must have meant that Jaehwan went over to Shujin's place. Really? That far? Surely not, his body can't handle driving such lengths at the moment. Well, Jaehwan would return soon right? He might as well send Asuna home first or his grandparents would begin to worry as well. 'He won't take long'. Aki hailed a cab so he could take her home.
Little did he know, Jaehwan would soon be met with a situation that meant life or death.
.
.
.
Jaehwan froze at the doorway. Shujin was frozen as well. "M-Master?"Came his soft voice.
The man in Shujin's arms looked at both of them, glaring at Shujin. "I thought you said you weren't involved with anyone else. What's going on?". Shujin hushed the man in his arms and cleared his throat. "Jaehwan, what are you doing here?".
The skinny man who stood by the door clenched his fists tightly. "To see you, Master,". Shujin bit his lip and covered the person he was with in a blanket. "Is there something you want to talk about? We can talk about it later,". Jaehwan looked at the man bundled up in the blanket and then to Shujin. 'This must be why Master stopped loving me. He found someone new to love'. He bit his lips to fester any emotions and looked up. "But you don't even pick up my calls anymore. How are we going to talk if you don't even try, Master?". Shujin sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, Master's sorry about that. I'll pick up from now on. You can go home,".
Looking at the floor, Jaehwan could tell that the apology wasn't sincere at all. Shujin was just apologising so that he'd leave and nothing would change. "Master, why did you stop contacting me? Don't you know how much it hurt me?". Shujin couldn't answer him. The man under the blanket grew impatient with Jaehwan and yelled. "Hey you! Why do you ask so many questions? xxxxx-san is my man you know!". Shujin was speechless. Jaehwan didn't know who this xxxxx-san was. But when he saw the horrified look on his Master's face, he already had his answer.
The fact that this vermin could know and call Shujin by his real surname and Jaehwan couldn't was the straw that broke the camel's back. "H-He's my master..."He began, gritting his teeth. "So what? You're nothing but a toy for him to manipulate! Do you think this bastard actually loved you?!". Shujin groaned and lost his patience. "Fucking hell! Shut up! You talk too much!". He got up from the bed, walking over to Jaehwan to hug him and reconcile but Jaehwan pushed him away. "No, I already have my answer, Master,".
Shujin's eyes were wide with shock. "My sweet angel, you got it all wrong,". Jaehwan nodded, wiping his tears away as he looked down at the small puddle on the floor. "I did get it all wrong, Master. I was wrong to think that you still loved me,". Then he did something that made Shujin's jaw drop to the floor. He pulled off the ring on his right ring finger and hurled it down the stairs. "You can take it back, Master. I don't think you want me to have it anymore,". Jaehwan turned away, beginning to walk down the stairs and Shujin chased after him. "Angel, don't be like that. Come on, I'll sort this all out,".
With a smile to mask the pain in his face, Jaehwan looked to him and shook his head. "No, you'll have nothing to sort out if you just admit it right now,". Shujin folded his arms and watched Jaehwan from the top of the stairs. "Master, admit it. You don't love me anymore. You'd rather that man you're with wear the ring that was on my finger,". Shujin was rendered speechless at this point. "Jaehwan, don't think about me like that. It's not like that-". Jaehwan just looked up at his master and sobbed, tears streaming down his face. "Then, how should I think Master? How can't I think like that when you've wrecked me for so many years?".
Throb
Jaehwan's chest region began to throb painfully. Although he tried not to let the pain pierce through his expressions so that he could leave the place as soon as possible. He sighed and turned to the door. "I don't think I have to tell you to stop contacting me anymore. You don't even answer my calls,". Shujin hared down the stairs to catch Jaehwan. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Jaehwan looked behind him and waved goodbye to Shujin.
"Goodbye, Master. It was nice being taken care of by you. But I hope that you learn not to toss someone away when you no longer feel like they're of any use to you anymore,".
__________________________
Jaehwan's phone was blowing up with calls from Shujin while he tried to drive home. But he really couldn't drive properly. The stabbing pain in his chest took a toll on his weak body. Eventually, he couldn't handle it anymore and pulled over at the highway, groaning from the pain as he cried.
Now he knew why Shujin never contacted him. Why Shujin didn't visit him when he was ill. Why that man didn't even bother to call him every Monday anymore. Because to him now, Jaehwan was a nuisance. A pest. Someone who was getting in the way of his new lovey-dovey relationship. Of course, Jaehwan wasn't mad that Shujin had found another partner. He knew it would happen at some point. But he was upset (and rightfully so!) that Shujin had been lying to him and neglecting him all this time. That Shujin had just gotten himself a partner like that without introducing Jaehwan to him. And worst of all, that man knew Shujin's real surname. He could call Shujin by his surname. While Jaehwan, still wasn't allowed to.
All that crying made the pain in his chest more excruciating. He knew he had to stop crying or else he wouldn't be able to make it home or worse, die from a sudden cardiac arrest. He wiped his tears and searched for his pills frantically before he pulled the packet out and realised that he had made a grave mistake.
The pills in his car were the old batch that was no longer effective on him. He had left the new ones that Doctor Yoo gave him on the bedside table. Jaehwan could feel his chest tighten and it began to become more difficult to breathe.
He could die right there and then. And Aki wouldn't know a thing about what happened.
Slumped on the steering wheel of his car, he sobbed to himself. He thought about everything that had happened.
Making an employee lose her job. Walking in on his Master's relationship. Worrying Aki to death about his whereabouts. All because he wanted to go see Shujin. Now? He'd probably never see any of them again.
Jaehwan sobbed as he clutched at his chest hard, gritting his teeth through the pain.
"I-I really am selfish. Master's right,".