I'm thinking If should I go there or not. But however, my mind kept telling me the last option. I was wondering why is that my subconscious always misleading me.
"Lana." Mom called me.
"Coming." I answer.
I took all of my things and sigh heavily. I pull the door and stood straight at the front of the foyer. I know once I step into this room, I'll be going to miss it knowing that it mends my whole life.
Tears try to attempt to fall but I blocked it by looking at the ceiling. I know this will be hard for me, but this is for my own good.
Is this really for my own good? I don't think so.
"Lana." She calls me again and it pissed me off.
I stamped my feet in annoyance. Why do I feel like she's happy that I'm leaving? Shouldn't she? Whatever. I step at the staircase and saw her with her intimidating stare.
I stopped in front of her while holding my holdall. She was on the phone, calling for a taxi, I guess. How ironic! She should be sad knowing that I'm leaving, but somewhat it turns opposite.
"Who was it?" I ask trying to be calm at her.
"Taxi, of course. Why do you ask?" She asks and I roll my eyes.
It seems like she's not my mother the way she treated me. She's busy at work like even family day at school she couldn't get into. How awful my life is.
"I'm just asking." I hand my holdall and step onto the door.
"Where are you going?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Leaving, like you want to." I say in a sarcastic way.
"Lana, I didn't raise you to be a brat." She raises her voice.
I laugh. As in literal laugh like my jaw almost broke the way I burst into laughter. Her jaw clenched while her brows creased.
Who the hell cares? This is my life and how dare she told me about raising me knowing she's not in my side in the first place.
"You're getting being a psycho. It's because of hanging those fools!" She screams while my left hand balled into a fist.
How dare she entailed my friends here. Why can't she just mind on her fucking business? I want to yell at her the way she's doing now but I can't. I can't yell at her because she's still my mother of course.
"Yeah, they were fools. But, those fools had appreciates my efforts. Unlike you, you're just embedding your work. It's kind of pathetic, isn't it? Having a mother who doesn't care to her child—" She cut me off by a slap.
"How dare you talking to me that way! I'm still your mother and I'm not doing this for my own self. I am doing this for your own betterment." She says and I clapped my hands.
"Wow! Doing for me? Are you making a comedy joke mom?"
"Shut up!"
I lifted my shoulder into a half shrug. "Okay, if you want to."
I walked into the door and slam it after I pull outside. Tears convene and guilt infiltrating me. In just a matter of seconds, I feel the liquids running down on my cheeks.
Fuck this life.