Garfield.
I hung my head, eyes fixed on my cuffed hands. Hands that were stained with blood. Blood that belonged to him. Him, the one who managed to chip away the granite that had caged my heart. He taught me about this thing called love. He believed so much in love that when he died he told me to keep on loving. I don't know if I could.
"Mr. Walters!" I immediately rose my head at the woman who called me. She was in a neat grey skirt suit, black hair,straight as straw fell over her shoulders. If it wasn't for the ugly scowl on her face I would say she was beautiful.
"Mr. Walters," She called again, like I hadn't heard her the first time. "Do you know Rain Sanders?"
I nodded.
"What was your relationship with him?"
Again, I hung my head, eyes focusing on my bloody hands. My chest tightened and I could feel a lump swell in my throat.
"Mr. Walters!"
This time I sent her a hard glare that made her stumble two steps away from me. She cleared her throat and composed herself before asking again. "What was your relationship with him?"
Rain was my boyfriend. My first real love and the two of us had big plans for our future. We were saving up money to go start a new life somewhere far away from this concrete jungle. "Sao Paulo. " He would never shut up about Sao Paulo.
"Mr. Walt -"
"My boyfriend!" I chocked ,"He was my boyfriend,"
The courtroom gasped and for the first time since I was put on the stand, I saw Rain's family. They were seated at the front row, his Mother Diana had her face caked in heavy make up that was now being washed by her tears. Judah, his cousin and best friend was just giving me a blank stare. It was hard to tell whether he was on my side or not. Fool didn't like me that much. Then there was Thomas. I have a lot to say about him later on.
I found it funny his whole family was here. Judah, I understand but his mother and father. They hated him for liking boys and had kicked him out of the house he grew up in. The only thing they did was load his account every month ,pay his tuition and the house he lived in.
"Was your boyfriend," She repeated like she didn't hear me the first time, "Why did you kill him then?"
I didn't kill him. I never would..
"I loved him," I muttered mostly to myself.
"Wrong answer Mr. Walter," Said the lawyer. "Why did you kill him?"
Once again,I hung my head and stared at my bloody hands. The events of the past few days were still fresh in my mind. I remember him in my arms. I remember frantically trying to stop the bleeding from his chest but to no avail.
What hurt more was seeing the smile on his blood stained face and the fear behind his cerulean eyes. He knew he couldn't be saved,he knew he was leaving me behind,he knew I was scared and angry at myself for not doing enough to try and save him.
"I can't stop the bleeding! We need to get you to a hospital! I mumbled, pressing on his wound. Blood just continued spilling like water from a broken pipe. His life was slowly draining.
"No! No! Don't close your eyes," I cried, slightly shaking him. "Please don't close your eyes,"
He weakly fluttered his eyes open and looked at me then smiled. Fucking smiled showing off his blood stained teeth. He tried speaking but all he did was gurgle blood.
"I..I love you," He managed to say as he gurgled more blood. "Promise me.." His hands clasped mine in a weak grasp. "Promise me you won't stop loving..."
"Mr. Walters, why did you kill him?"
"I didn't," I tried to sound brave but my voice and wet eyes betrayed me. I was crumbling from the inside out. "I didn't kill him."
"You're lying," Mrs Lawyer stated accusingly. I watched her saunter to her desk and picked two files and handed one over to the judge. The other, she flipped open, showing me a bunch of pictures from the crime scene.
"The gun used to murder Rain belonged to you. True or false?"
"True," The court gasped again. "But I gave it to him. To protect himself.."
"Protect himself from who , you?"
"No," I shouted, angry at the lawyer. "I'd never hurt him. Judah tell them the truth!"
"Mr. Walters," Barked the judge,the old man turned to me and warned. "Check your temper," Then he said to the lawyer, "Proceed Mrs. Walker."
"Well you see, Mr. Walter, your fingerprints were all over the gun."
"You don't understand someone shot him not me," I beat my chest for emphasis hoping someone would believe me and actually realize Rain's murderer was in the courtroom.
"What about when you found out Rain cheated on you. What did you do?"
Silence...
Total silence...
The only thing I could hear was the thud thud of my heart beating in my ears. Mrs. Walker had her eyes boring holes through my skull. I turned to Judah,he was now glowering at me,bottom lip angrily tucked under his teeth. I knew he's the one who gave up that vital piece of information. He was there, he saw my inner demons emerge from inside me.
"Mr. Walter.."
"I..I..was angry." This time I looked up at the heavens hoping for my redemption. "I didn't mean to do it.."
"What did you do? Tell the court what you did."
"Objection your honor, Mrs Walker is tormenting my client," Judy, my attorney demanded. I liked her, unlike everyone else she believed I was innocent and vowed to fight for me. We both knew that I wouldn't get away will all the charges against me but she promised to try have my sentence reduced.
"Your Honor, I am trying to get a confession from the accused. To show the court what he is capable of and get justice for the family."
"Objection sustained," Said the judge. "Proceed Mrs. Walker,"
Mrs. Walker grinned and walked right up to the stand. She was too close for my comfort. "Tell the court what happened,"
"I threatened him."
"How exactly? Did you use this gun?" She lifted up the picture of my gun, "The very gun you gave him to protect himself?"
"Please don't..."
"You pointed your gun at him. Pressed it against his forehead," The memories of that night flashed in my mind. I remember how my hands felt around my gun and my index finger lingering on the trigger as I battled with myself whether or not I should pull.
Rain's eyes were fixed on my wild ones, he tried acting brave - challenging at most but the beads of sweat on his face gave him up. The fact that he was literally shaking also said just how scared he was. "Pull the trigger Gar. Pull it if you don't believe that I love you and I'm sorry. Pull the fucking trigger!"
Hot heavy streams of tears welled down my cheeks. I could feel my heart shatter to pieces and my head hurt. I was getting dizzy and it was getting harder to breath. Rain was dead because of me.
"You killed Rain Sanders," Mrs walker accused.
"No I didn't.."
"On Sunday fourteen August twenty - twenty. Rain found you snooping around his family warehouse. Afraid that you were caught, you shot him and let him bleed to death,"
"That's not what happened you cunt! " I barked angrily. "I didn't kill him. " I looked at Judah, "You know I didn't kill him. Judah tell them!"
Judah looked away,like he didn't even know me anymore.
"I'm done with the questions Your Honor," Walker gave me one final glare before returning to her seat.
My fate was sealed.