It was weeks later, and Kida was frustratingly close to success. Her poison still left traces of the tissue alive and, while she doubted that it would be possible to save its victim, she wasn't taking any chances. She had tried and failed to kill herself three times before with more conventional methods.
She had jumped off a bridge only to be knocked unconscious and pulled from the water by a stranger. She had eaten as much of a slice of peanut butter pie that she could before her throat closed and she passed out; only to wake up in a hospital with a very suspicious doctor who had sent her to rehab. While at rehab, she had stuck into the kitchen and stole a knife and later stabbed herself in the heart. Her roommate had found her seconds after and she was rushed to hospital.
After her surgery she was sent to a new rehab facility and watched like a hawk; forced to play their little game. She laughed and joked as she had learned to do and hid her feelings away. None of these people knew her, and none of them wanted to know her. They only asked about her pain; and even so it wasn't because they cared, it was because it was their job. She spouted lies and faked recovery until they let her go.
"Go to meetings." They told her. "Find a support group."
She left that place without a single friend, no one who truly cared to know her. They sent her off with a book of self-help jargon and a bottle of pills. Oh, how she hated them for it, pump her full of drugs, that had been their answer. She had never taken a single one. Though the facility had given her hope. She got herself a job at the lab with her multiple PHDs and set out to find an honest friend. Someone who wasn't fake; someone she could really talk to.
But the world around her was fake; painted smiles and flowered lies. Shiny exteriors with coal black centers; this was no place to live. Kida saw through all the disguises. Kelly was cheating on Mark. Lisa was faking her expertise. Justin said he was fine being friends, but still flirted and did his best to change her mind. And her boss Garret was still denying that his wife left him and took their daughter with her.
Kida had watched her own life fall apart years ago and was done pretending that things would get better; that everyone around her wasn't just as miserable. It was then that she again began to think about suicide; this time she would not fail. No knives or peanuts this time. This time she would create something unlike anything anyone had ever seen. A poison that would attack the cells and DNA of the body. No medicine, or resuscitation, or surgical procedure would defeat it.
Kida came out of her memories as she tested the latest modification she had made. This time it worked. Not one single living cell was left. She felt as if the stars had aligned above her and she danced around her office. Suddenly she stopped and winced.
I should really test it on something more than tissues. She thought, dreading what she had to do. It will be fine. I designed it not to hurt. She stared at her microscope. But what if I made a mistake?
Kida walked to Justin's lab space feeling dejected. He looked up, surprised, but also hopeful as he asked her if there was something he could help her with.
"I need one of your testing rats, one you're not using."
She said with pained emotion. He looked at her quizzically before moving to the wall of cages.
"I thought you didn't believe in animal testing."
"I Don't… I…" She sighed. "It's complicated."
Justin chuckled
"I'd ask if I thought you'd tell me."
Kida felt ugly as she took the cage and could almost taste the bile working its way up her throat.
"Thanks." She managed to say before leaving with the cage.
Kida had expected the rat to be white and ugly, instead it was a beautiful cocoa brown and looked more like a mouse than a rat. She set the cage down on her desk away from the lab table and the little creature looked up at her with innocent eyes. Kida slumped forward on her desk using her arms as a cushion and groaned. She turned her head and looked into the cage again.
"You don't deserve this." She told the rat. Kida sighed and made her decision; she left her office again to gather supplies. She wasn't gone long and soon got to work.