The night that I think is very long. My body ache, eyes are diffult to open. The sound of crying sounded louder than before. I currently dying.
At the age of 60, I haven't even felt that I have done anything special. Hollow, that's how people said. Well, even thought I have a family that loves me, a beautiful wife that everyone dream of, a beautiful daughter, and one handsome boy. My family's economy is also not difficult , you could say we are a very well-off family. I have a wholesale shop business that is succesful and busy every day, of course with my wife who has a photo studio which is quite good for her monthly turnover. Then my daughter who chose to major in medicine after graduated from Senior High School, and now she is a famous Dermatologist in a country. And my youngest son is exploring the world of modeling and has become the most handsome ad star in the magazine version.
Who doesn't desire such a life?
Honestly, not all the beautifull life that most people see is something you dream it. Actually, there are many mistakes I made in my past that I regret, while now my time of death is near. If I have a chance, I really want to fix it. But what I know, that second life doens't exist. Even it does, I prefer to go back to the time when I was in the first grade of Junior High Shchool, where it's the beginning of my regrets has happened.
I can only smile a the thought, a dream when people who will leave the world look so stupid. My vision is already very blurry, my head can't even move, I'm really sleepy. In my last strength I say to those around me right now...
I'm sorry for my foolishness...
And this is where all the sound of cries began not be heard again, and I fell asleep.
*****
Kediri, East Java.
July 2004
knock, knock, knock
"Ar… do you not go to school?"
Knock,knoc, knock
"Arslan!! This is your first day in junior highschool, don't be absent Ar!!"
I heard that voices over and over again, a voice that was similar to Arslan knew, it was like a voice of... Mama?
His eyes were widely open, "where is this?"
His memories still remembered when he was nearing his end.
"wait, am I already dead?" Arslan muttered. He was very confused, this was the first time he felt dead and become a spirit.
He have watched a movie, and that movie show how Heaven when that spirit reached that place. The situation there really remains in Arslan's memory. The situation where that person return to the most valuable place in his life.
At this time Arslan is in the house he used to live in, when he was 12 years old. He looked up when his eyes opened. It is true that the bedroom he lives in has no ceiling. Soon he looked the other way, and it's true the bathroom in his bedroom is not yet finished, and it's only a red brick wall that has not been cemented. Once again he looked around , there was somenone sleeping beside him. Rega, he is a younger brother of Arslan. Their age gap is only a year apart. Somehow he smiled bery sweetly when he saw his younger brother, maybe.., he missed.
"Is it Heaven?. Murmured Arslan who was not sure what he saw at this time.
Is He really went back to when he was 12 years old? It's doens't make sense at all. But there is only one way to prove this is real or that he is already in Heaven.
Arslan immediately got up from his sleep, he brushed off the thought of waking his younger brother, because time is what matters right now.
He grabbed a towel and other neceesties for bathing, and immediately ran to the bathroom regardless of the house people who game him a strenge look.
A soon as he finished bathing, and getting dressed, he felt something was wrong. But Arslan did not care about it, because he felt that it was not important. He also walked quilcky towards his room, but stopped when a voice called him.
"Arslan!". Called by someone in a woman voice.
Arslan looked back. "mama? What's the matter ma?", said Arslan who still felt nervous in his chest. Unexepectedly, the woman in front of him was the mother he had missed for decades, now right in front of him.
"You are Arslan aren't you?. Asked that woman who was Arslan's mother.
Arslan only frowned, as if he did not understand the meaning of his mother's worlds. "Of course I'm Arslan ma, who else?. He answered.
But his mother just gave him a strange look. "But, since when did you become this high Ar?What... did you eat yesterday?" Suddenly his mother's words became a lije a lightning strike in the morning for Arslan.
"What ma?Hight?". Arslan asked, as if his mother said something ridiculous. He didn't want this to be just a delusion, he wanted all these events to come true, because he had a lot to fix in his previous life.
He immediately went into the room and closed the door tightly. He moved his footsteps slowly towards his cupboard, as he remembered it had a large mirror in the middle. He wanted to see what was happening to his body right now. There's no way his body will change when he is 12 years old. He walked while looking at his similiar feet, the size of these legs, the sensation of this body... He didn't want to guess. It would be imposibble for his body to be at that age.
As soon as he arrived in front the mirror, he looked at the mirror very slowly. And his eyes widened even more when he gaze directly faced him in the mirror.
"Oh shit..." murmured Arslan when he saw himself in the mirror. The thing that made him so amazed by the sight. His physique had completely changed. It didn't look like him when he was 12 years old at that time.
It.. is completelty different.