I wiped the tears from my eyes. I scoffed at myself. I didn't really do a good job in forgetting him. I stood up and went to my bathroom. I need to wash myself up. I feel so sticky. I took my time in the shower. Water comforts me in ways I don't even understand.
When I got out of the shower, I quickly changed into my most comfortable clothes. Just an oversized hoodie and a dolphin short. I combed my hair and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes looked so puffed up. Evidence that I just cried. How am I going to tell this to Lory and Hunter?
I blew an exasperated sigh and went out of my room. I'll just go to the kitchen. It's when I'm in this mood that I want to wash the dishes or cook to release some bad energy from my system. When I made it to the kitchen, there are no dishes to wash nor are there any dirt to clean or broken things to fix. So I just decided to make some dinner. I'm wondering where Lory and Hunter are. It's already 6:30 in the evening and usually, at this time of the day, Lory's here and Hunter's being a parasite in our cabin.
I looked inside the fridge and scanned what could I possibly make out of all the ingredients here. I'll just make carbonara for tonight. I took all of the ingredients I will need in making the dish. As I was preparing to cook, I dialed Lory's number and called her. I asked her if she was with Hunter and she said 'yes'. They were in the faculty room asking our prof about some things related to our project. I asked her to buy an ice cream on her way home. I'm sure she's already sensed that something's wrong so she just said 'okay' and we hung up the call.
I played some worship songs while I was cooking. Worship songs make me feel better and comforted. I was singing along the chorus and sometimes the bridge of the songs. I was already mixing the pasta and the sauce when Lory and Hunter entered the door. They're arguing again about our project. I just let them be.
They continued to bicker with each other but Lory just gave up the arguement. There's no winning against Hunter. "Nics! Your ice cream is here. Where are you--oh, you made dinner?" She said as she walked her way towards me. She was carrying a plastic bag and I'm guessing it's the ice cream. Hunter followed her into the kitchen. "Wow. Is that carbonara? Can I just ask the principal to transfer me here with you?" Hunter asked aloud and I just rolled my eyes. Lory did the same.
I spilled the tea even before the two could ask what was wrong. Hunter took a fork and served himself with the food. "Ranier apologized." I blurted out. Lory was drinking her water when I said this and she choked on her water when she heard what I just said.
I took the ice cream out of the plastic and got myself a glass and spoon. I looked at the both of them and they were both just staring at me sympathetically. They want to ask but they're afraid to do so. "I'm fine. Well, not exactly. I cried my eyes out a few hours ago. You can probably see with the way my eyes look so puffed right now. But I'm fine now. Maybe the reason why things had been so hard on me before was because I avoided Ranier. Funny, because I wanted to ask so many questions to Ranier. Like, why he did that to me you know? Was I not enough? I'm pretty sure I did my part on being a good girlfriend so why cheat on me? But I still didn't ask these things to Ranier earlier. I just walked out on him. Stupid of me. But him apologizing really did made me feel better. It's sad because I have so many 'what ifs' and 'whys' in my mind but what can I do? It already happened." I explained and put a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth.
I really thought that explaining this would be hard, but it wasn't hard at all. Not really. I looked at them and they seem uncertain on how to respond. I smiled at them. "I'm fine. Really. Listening to worship songs made me feel a lot better." I assured them.
"Well, do you accept suitors now then?" Hunter asked. I almost choked on my ice cream. "Stupid. She said she's fine but she didn't say she wants a new boyfriend." Lory snapped at him. He just glared at her. I laughed. "You're both so weird." And we just ate dinner in peace and enjoyed each other's company.
Right after we finished our dinner, Lory volunteered to do the dishes. Hunter cleaned the table and I stood up from my seat and went to the balcony. I breathe in the cold breeze that's engulfing me. I looked at the sky and traced some constellations. Must be nice to be up in the sky. I smiled at the thought.
"A penny for your thoughts?" Hunter stood beside me. He leaned his elbows on the railing of the balcony to support the weight of his arms as he cupped his own face and stared at me. I chuckled. "I wasn't thinking about anything." I said.
"You know that I used to have a crush on you, right?" He asked. I nodded my head. I did too. When we were younger. I looked at him but he he was staring at the sky this time with a small smile on his face. I tilted my head sideways to get a better view of him. "You know our parents wanted us to marry right?" He said and laughed. I laughed at what he said too. "Yeah. They said we'd make a beautiful generation." I remember what my mom and his mom used to say to each other.
"We would." He replied. I nodded my head while smiling still. "Yeah. We would. But I guess we won't." I whispered fixing my eyes on the sky again.
"Why him Nics?" He asked quietly. I can hear his voice shake slightly. I smiled. "I don't know Hunter. When you fall in love, you automatically just become stupid, completely oblivious to all of his flaws and his shortcomings. Ranier wasn't perfect. But he seemed just as much in my eyes." I chuckled. "You probably won't understand. You haven't been in love." I continued.
"Oh, but I have." I looked at him and he was staring at me intently.