The storm is rising. I can hear the screams of the wind. I feel the eerie breath wash over me. And then I see it. The hundreds of faces running towards me. But they keep going, in fact they pass me without a glance. I turn and I see him. Eric. He is standing amongst the other soldiers in the line. He starts firing, firing at me.
"Lily." I feel someone tap my shoulder. I open my eyes to find Sam looking down at me. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying." I respond.
"Yes. Yes, you are. You were twitching and crying in your sleep. Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." I roll over and look at my phone. I have a message from my mom asking me how I did in my night. I send her a reply saying I'm fine.
"You're going to lie to her? I know you, and you never lie. What is happening with you? We can all tell something is wrong with you." Sam says, grabbing my shoulder to turn me in his direction. I look into his eyes and all I see is concern.
"Nothing is wrong with me. You know that if something were going on I would tell you all. The reason I woke up like that is because I had a nightmare. They are a normal thing to have after watching a horror movie. I am completely fine. You can stop worrying about me."
Sam and I have been best friends the longest. We have always been closer than any of the others. We've been best friends since Pre-K and it hasn't changed since.
"I'm watching you. If I see any other weird, non-Lily things happening, you best believe I am going t get the truth out of you. I just want to make you're Ok. You obviously aren't. And I know that you don't telling us these things because you think it's a burden or whatever, but we genuinely want to know. We all love you and we don't like seeing you like this." He says and brings me in for a hug.
"Can I ask you something?" I look up at him.
"Sure."
"Have you ever had something you want so bad end up haunting you because you're too selfish to give it up should you need too?"
"That is the deepest question you have ever asked me, but no. I have never been through something like that. Are you going through something like this?" He looks down at me.
"You could say so. Truth is, I have no idea what is going on. I don't know what is happening and it just won't stop. It's a never ending cycle that only brings misery. If I knew what was wrong, believe me I would tell you guys, but truth is, I have no idea." And with that, we start our day.
It's true that I don't know or understand what is happening to me. I wish I did. If I knew, I could find some way to fix it. But something is blocking me from finding out. Whether it's my own fears or that my mind is smart enough to let me be at peace in not knowing, I'll have to figure out. But for today, I think I am going to enjoy my time with my friends, have some semblance of normality and hope for what my life has become to end.