"Why would you betray everything for a man, no a boy, a child who does not even love you!" she screamed at me

"Shut up, he loves me, I know he does." I retorted

"Are you that desperate for love your willing to believe a..."

"I'm not desperate "I snarled

"You don't even know what he looks like! Let alone who he is or anything about him or his personality "she screeched back

"I know a lot about him" I snapped back "and I know that he needs me the same way I need him."

"Why don't you think rationally for once are you blind that you can't see he's using you, you're head over heels for an idiot whispering sweet nothings to you through a gated wall how romantic" she spat out "if you want to find love its among your own people among us" she gestured to herself "he's going to let you down" she yelled.

I stared her in the eyes "and how many times have you let me down".

She sighed and refrained from looking me in the eyes and stared emptily at the plain white ceiling "love doesn't have to always be so dangerous" her voice was shaky like she was close to tears something that I was threatening myself my breath was shaky and my lungs tired from yelling "sometimes you should go with the norm, you have to go with the norm "she whispered this as if trying to convince herself more than me you don't have to risk everything and you can still find love violet"

"this shouldn't have to be my norm my norm is whatever I should want it to be"

"why risk everything you're life you're family you're friends have that all crash down to fulfill you're little teenage heart" she snarled mockingly "have that all burn down for noting"

"love is not nothing"

"stop saying you love him you're a 17 year old naive child! you know nothing about love or about life in general "

"don't call me a child or raise your voice at me.."

she cut me off and answered in a more reasonable tone "I know more than anyone that love is everything" she swallowed "you just haven't met the right girl violet"

"I don't want a girl" I emphasized each word lacing it with my rage and sharpening them like knives with the intent to hurt her "why do you even care now, I thought you were busy planning out your perfect life with your perfect family living the perfect ideal life because your perfect." I laced every word with deadly venomous envy

"I'm saying all of this" she wailed because "I don't want you to die I don't want to see you hurt and I don't want another burning ,I care about you..."

I gave her a sad smile tears leaving stained pathways down my cheeks as I replied "I don't care about you take your perfection and perfect ideals and get out of my life"

..................................................................................

Knock... silence knock... silence and three more fast taps shuddered the wall. I smile flew across my lips it was time. The darkness of the night watched our escapades silently in trembling rage as the tense air grew deadlier each second I made all the last necessary checks. The night continued to scrutinize me in both irritation and curiosity as i flew a sprung up from bed and flew hurriedly to the door.

I reached my shaking hand towards the cold brass door knob and locked it as quietly as I could the only sound was a small click that was more than enough to send shivers down my spine. I took a deep breath and tried in vain to steady my hands and calm my rushing heart, I couldn't be disturbed.

door locked.

I closed the frosty glass windows and pulled the thick velvety crimson curtain over it hiding the body of translucent glass hiding the dark room from the nights prying eyes.

windows closed.

curtains pulled.

I took another deep breath to steady my shaking frame in vain you've got this violet I told myself and slowly and quietly as possible pulled the metal encasing of my bed out from the corner of the silent room its pale purple colored walls seeming a darker shade of deadly plum at this hour of the night.

bed out of the way.

I pulled up my oversize pajama pants over my flat stomach and quickly rushed to get on the dirty mulberry colored carpet that was now exposed. Crawling on all fours I carefully as you could with trembling hands removed the plank of white wood that was a relatively simple cover-up for the arm sized hole in the wall. The hole was jagged and relatively resembled a mouse hole or even the mouth of a small cave. If you peeked through the hole you could just barely make out the wide black corrugated metal that was a reminder that we were separated and what we were doing was so, so wrong at yet we still did it.

cover removed.

I let out another sigh and sluggishly sat cross legged on the grayish looking carpet. It was way more grey than purple under my bed because of the lack of hoovering or really any cleaning of every kind. hurriedly reaching my hand out i grabbed the white piece of folded paper that hid patiently in a game of hide and seek. My hand reached out and wrapped my hand around Pale Square that was tucked safely in a pair of red trainers I never seemed to wear or need really but that didn't matter now. A smile danced on my lips I wasn't thinking about anything but him the eerie darkness had turned from eerie to almost joyous like the cold air inside the room was somersaulting like my heart doing hundreds of back flips per minute in my chest .

note in hand.

I gave a quick glanced at the white clock perched on the wall that slumped next the plain snowy door. Its hands read 11 59 one minute left. Just one minute and yet it felt like forever. It's really weird you know how you never really hear the orchestrated song of a clock ticking until you want to and now I could as the ticked away at its little tune. Reaching again into the left red trainer this time and brought out a sad looking pencil its rubber was long gone and it boasted plenty of aggressive teeth marks. But that didn't matter either. I coiled a lock of thick light blonde hair around the pencil playing with it angrily while I waited impatiently it was as if every tick was as long as an hour in my head.

it was time.