Rei sat next to Tsunade, mightily uncomfortable to be on a display like this. The preliminaries of the Chunin Exams were about to start and Hokage was giving his speech.
To be honest, if it was up to Rei, Shikaku's lazy and boring drawl would be a test unto itself. Those that didn't fall asleep while he monologued would pass.
Sitting next to Tsunade meant sitting next to the Konoha Daimyo and that kind of position attracted a lot of attention to Rei. He didn't like it. He was too used to being in the shadows. Even in the Village on the Other Side he seldom appeared in front of people, opting to have other people be the 'public' figures in his stead.
It didn't help that he was sitting in the seat reserved for the partner of the Daimyo, meaning people were interested in why this unknown man was parading as Tsunade's husband. While it was known that Tsunade was married, she never really revealed to whom.
Unfortunately for Rei...
'I should have never bet against her.' He sourly thought. 'It was such an obvious application of the Murphy Laws that the woman who loses every bet will win precisely the one that would put me in an uncomfortable position. I should have known.'
Rei wanted to do nothing else but stack genjutsu after genjutsu on himself, hiding in plain sight, but sadly, Tsunade accounted for that too. If he wanted to uphold his part of the bet, he would simply have to suffer through the gawkers in silence.
Frankly, this was still fine. Rei dreaded the third part of the Exams. Now, there was no Pakura or Ringo, or a vast amount of populace alongside nobles and Daimyos for that matter. It was just Konoha higher-ups and a few jonins right now. But in the third part of these exams?
'May the Sage have mercy on my soul...' Rei inwardly wailed just thinking about that kind of suffering.
Alas, there was nothing he could do. Becoming a public figure would be good for him. He didn't want to show himself as the leader of the Village on the Other Side. The existence of that village was a highly guarded secret, after all. Nor would Rei let his ownership of the Biri-Biri Company and the Uzushio Trading Company be known. That would attract a bit too much attention to himself.
Becoming known as the husband of the Konoha Daimyo was fine. Tsunade was part-Uzumaki so it would explain his pull with Uzushio while also giving him an 'in' with Pakura and Ringo since they would be introduced as Tsunade's friends she met during her travels.
Secrets attract attention and ninjas were no exception to this rule. Rei instead wanted to put a false front for the public, fooling them into thinking there is no secret and that they had all the facts so nobody will try to dig deeper into the mystery of Tsunade's husband. This bet between Tsunade and him only made him hasten his plans and gave them direction.
Personally, he would have been a bit more discreet about it but blatantly sitting next to her and kissing her in front of all the Konoha higher-ups would do as well...
The gazes were not Rei's only problem though. The boredom was almost worse.
Watching genins duking it out in the arena was... underwhelming.
For a normal person, this would have been an epic showdown and that was partly the reason why the village was making a spectacle from the third part of these exams but for a seasoned ninja... let's just say it was yawn-worthy for Rei and from the way Tsunade distractedly played with his fingers, she was not feeling any different.
There were eight teams that passed the second part of the exams. It was all the teams that passed in the canon except the team from the Sound Village and then there were Kirigakure and Uzushio teams.
Rei... couldn't bring himself to feel impressed.
This was all prearranged for the most part so there was nothing to be surprised about. He knew for a fact that half the Kirigakure and Sunagakure teams that participated in the second part could have easily steamrolled the Konoha teams that passed.
But having the Konoha Chunin Exams dominated by Sunagakure and Kirigakure, especially just a moment before the villages were about to sign a three-way alliance, would not be good for the relations between them. Not to mention the need for hiding one's strength. Hence, the second part was more about a friendly hunter-nin exercise in an unknown terrain between Sunagakure and Kirigakure.
These teams did not aim to pass. In fact, they were forbidden to pass as that would instantly mean a failure of their secret mission. They had their own objectives set for them by the Kazekage and Mizukage and if they managed to fulfill them, they would be promoted to Chunin the second they arrived back home.
Rei wondered if Fate actually existed since the Rookie Nine, Team Gai, and Kabuto's team all passed like in canon despite the numerous things that changed both in the world and in Konoha. This worrying belief briefly intensified before it quickly left him as the first match was called and progressed.
To put it shortly, Neji Hyuuga and Hinata Hyuuga were called to fight it out, Neji was his usual Fate's bitch about everything, but differently from canon, Hinata made a short work of Neji.
Rei had to wince when he saw the girl using Neji's self-important monologue as a distraction to land a solid kick to his balls. The boy did not even try to prevent her from walking closer. He was that assured of his superiority.
Needless to say, the match was quickly over as the Hyuuga boy fainted from the cheap shot, his eyes still opened wide from shock as he fell to the ground with a resounding thud whereas the whole arena descended into a deafening silence.
It lasted a few seconds before Anko started loudly cheering and praising her apprentice.
That, however, was the end of Rei's entertainment.
The following matches were simply boring.
Kimimaro faced off against Akado Yoroi, the guy with a peculiar ability to absorb chakra with touch. Sadly for the poor lad, it meant he had to get close and that was Kimimaro's domain. Akado found out in a quite brutal manner as Kimimaro's bones pierced his body when he tried to touch the bored Kaguya, making him into a swiss cheese without killing him.
After that, Yamanaka Ino was pitted against Yakumo Kurama... which quickly ended poorly for Ino. Sure, she was more motivated and driven than her canon counterpart but it was ever so obvious to Rei why Tsunade picked Kurenai as her apprentice. Yakumo was Kurenai's apprentice and her genjutsu proficiency would be quite impressive for a chunin, much less a genin. The girl didn't even need to use her bloodline.
The next fight was between Haku and Kankuro. An unfortunate match, in Rei's opinion, and one that was definitely not random. One glance at Tsunade and it was obvious from her quiet smugness that she wanted to eliminate the possibility of all members from Pakura and Ringo's teams passing.
Kankuro's puppetry was impressive. He could already control five puppets at once which made a few jonins drop their jaws but unfortunately for him, Haku had a massive advantage in speed and element. Not only was Kankuro unable to deliver even a glancing blow with any of his attacks, but Haku also focused on freezing the joints of Kankuro's puppets, and Kankuro was made painfully aware of this weakness of his puppets.
Well, at least the puppeteer got a valuable learning experience out of it.
The following showdown between Temari and Utakata was honestly expected. Even Shikaku slightly turned towards Tsunade with an unamused 'Really? Couldn't you at least put a few fights in between to make it look less suspicious?' kind of look.
Temari steamrolled Utakata. His explosive bubbles were neat but the young man had no way to reach Temari with them. Her ranged Wind Attacks shredded first his offense, then his defense, and then him, delivering him into the infirmary in five seconds flat before she turned towards Rei with her eyes shining with a 'Praise me!' kind of gleam.
As for Rei... he could only give Utakata a pitying look as he felt Tsunade's satisfaction when it became obvious her plan worked spectacularly. Neither Pakura nor Ringo would have their entire teams pass the second stage.
That said, many fights were really random. For example, the board again rolled Uzumaki Naruto versus Inuzuka Kiba for the next match, causing Rei to raise an eyebrow at that. Kiba did his arrogant boasting shtick, not expecting much from Naruto because the blonde played a jester during his academy years. The two boys had a fairly nice taijutsu fight for genins which clearly surprised the Inuzuka before Naruto decide to end it by using a special smoke bomb with chilly flavor... both Kiba and Akamaru were left rolling on the ground, crying and clutching at their burning throats and noses.
Well, it was still better than tasting Naruto's fart in Rei's opinion.
The next fight was Gaara versus Misumi Tsurugi. There was nothing much to say about that one. Misumi's elastic joints and stretching exercises did not help him when Gaara decided to squish him. They had to call a small break after the match and scrub what was left of the guy from the floor.
Needless to say, Gaara impressed and frightened quite a few spectators with that display. It was funny seeing even jonins throwing him wary looks.
Rei almost rolled his eyes when he saw Tayuya and Tenten being called into the arena. Tayuya instantly insulted Tenten, making her so angry she didn't even try to make a plan as she started hurling weapon after weapon at the redhead.
Tenten tried. She really did. But no matter how many weapons she had. No matter how precise her throwing was. No matter what she did... All it took was one blow into Tayuya's flute in between her taunts and insults, and Tenten's weapons were deflected mid-flight by what appeared to be nothing. They just veered off course out of nowhere or appeared to hit an obstacle that was clearly not there.
Half the spectators had utterly lost looks, not understanding what the Uzushio girl did while the other half were grimacing exactly because they recognized what she was doing and how troublesome it would be to fight against her.
After Tenten was utterly defeated, with no weapons left, with no hope left, Tayuya simply used a moderate shockwave to send the girl into the wall behind her with enough force to create a few cracks and knock her unconscious.
From the outside perspective, Tauyuya appeared to be a cold-hearted bitch who liked to taunt her opponent but... Rei had instantly seen through her intentions if only because he knew her better. She aimed to show Tenten how utterly worthless her path as the weapon mistress was.
And it really was. That ninja art did not have much potential in the higher leagues. Its user depended mostly on his weapons, so meeting a real powerhouse would be instant death. Tenten was a jack of all trades. She knew how to use numerous weapons but none to the satisfactory level even for a chunin. She... did not deserve promotion as she currently was.
The following match was between Karin and Kabuto Yakushi who surprisingly did not forfeit at the start. Frankly, it was understandable. With Tsunade's reforms, his spying got a lot harder and he could not just attend every chunin exam and fail without being suspected of ulterior motives. The guy decided to be smart about it and this was actually only his second attempt.
For those with context, this fight was somehow definitely pre-arranged by Orochimaru. At least the guy had enough wits to not show up for preliminaries. It was one thing to let him roam the village under heavy surveillance even if he had no idea about it, and it was quite another thing to let him be in the same room as the Konoha Daimyo and the Hokage without doing anything about it. But since he didn't show up, there was no need for a fight. He probably intelligently deduced that Tsunade would have recognized him.
Kabuto tried to taunt Karin, doing exactly the same thing as Orochimaru in an attempt to make use of the infamous Uzumaki temper. If Orochimaru was present, he would have winced at that...
Karin did not like to play with her food and Kabuto ended with a pointy tip of Karin's chain painfully going up his ass.
On the downside, Kabuto survived thanks to his healing factor. On the upside... well, moving on.
Sasuke Uchiha was pitted against Choji Akimichi and this was honestly the most even fight in the entire preliminaries. Not because the boys were on the same level. Far from it. But this Choji knew when to put his timid nature to the side and from the very start, he used his Human Bullet Tank Jutsu whereas Sasuke had no way of countering it. He tried to throw a few fireballs at the Akimichi but to no avail.
In the end, Sasuke could only dodge and dodge, waiting for Choji to run out of juice. The fight dragged on and on, the Uchiha trying to injure Choji in various ways and failing miserably at it because he didn't have heavy-hitting Jutsu in his repertoire.
Thirty utterly boring minutes later, Sasuke won because Choji could not hit him. Simple as that.
The next match featured Shino Aburame versus Chojuro. Shino's clan techniques certainly piqued Rei's interest and under any other circumstances, the bug boy would have had an overwhelming advantage but not in an empty room with no obstacles.
Chojuro did some freaky kenjutsu bullshit and sent an arc of compressed air at Shino with a swing of his sword, showcasing he was far above genin level while almost bisecting the poor Aburame.
The Kirigakure swordsman could only awkwardly laugh with disbelief written on his face when his opponent went down so easily while Tsunade was already moving towards Shino to save his life.
Alas, Chojuro wouldn't be the most liked person in Konoha after that stunt...
But everything had its bright side. Saving Shino's life and career would certainly cement the Aburame clan's loyalty to Tsunade, so there was that. Rei would honestly be unable to say Tsunade was unhappy about the accident.
The last fight was between Rock Lee and Shikamaru Nara and Rei thought the result was pretty obvious.
He was wrong.
It was a bewildering experience to watch the Nara heir utterly dismantle the taijutsu prodigy before he could even start.
Rock Lee was strong and fast. That was a fact. But that didn't help him when Shikamaru caught him in his Shadow Imitation Technique. Lee was simply far too direct and straightforward in his approach and that was his undoing.
Restricted by the Shadow Imitation, weighted by several tons of weight around his ankles, and unable to open the Eight Inner Gates because Lee wasn't yet skilled enough to open the first gate without performing Lotus beforehand. Lee was totally screwed no matter how much he tried to wiggle and get out of Shikamaru's hold.
Shikamaru did not need to be faster or stronger than Lee. Not when the green-clad idiot was restricting himself to a disgusting degree before the match even started. By all means, this should have been Lee's win without any doubt. Lee was fast enough to evade any attempt of Shikamaru to get a hold of him.
But that was true only for unrestricted Lee.
Rei noted that Tsunade simply looked at Gai, who seemed to be quite disgruntled at how easily his protege lost, and snorted. He could only wince at the verbal and maybe even physical thrashing the green-clad jonin would no doubt receive in the near future.
Wearing weights was a good training method if done right but wearing weights during a fight? What kind of idiot taught him that?
Still, Rei thought Lee would be able to handle Shikamaru despite the moronic self-imposed handicap but apparently, motivated Shikamaru is a dangerous Shikamaru.
The match ended quickly when Shikamaru used Shadow-stitching and put a sharp shadow spike near Lee's throat before looking at Gai with a raised eyebrow. Lee looked stubborn and would most likely rather have his throat slit than give up but thankfully, Gai had more common sense and stopped the fight.
Shikamaru won.
---
Author Note:
Yeah, did not want to make several chapters out of this so I tried to sum it up in a somewhat not-so-boring way.
Hope I succeeded :D.