Rei, clad in an ornamental kimono usually worn by nobles, with a dressed-up Tsunade on his arm, came in front of Toyotomi Hideyori, the Daimyo of the Country of Fire and slightly bowed in greetings. The man actually showed surprise at their attendance as since the fiasco with ROOT, the diplomat from Land of Spring never attended his birthday parties. The relations between their countries were that bad.
Toyotomi was naturally shocked when a man wearing a kimono decorated with the symbol for the newly-renamed Land of Spring appeared in front of him. Especially since Tsunade freaking Senju, the hardest-to-find person on the damned continent was his date.
Toyotomi distinctly remembered Hiruzen Sarutobi asking him if his spy network caught a whiff of Tsunade's whereabouts. The old coot clearly wanted to beg his former apprentice for money from the Senju accounts but without her explicit permission, Hokage or not, the accounts stayed sealed. Alas, the former Sannin and best medic in the world proved to be far more elusive than even Jiraiya the Sannin who was currently resignedly sat in the corner near the table with deserts while his new whal-, ahem, wife, stuffed her cheeks with sweets.
Happy development, that. It certainly made dealing with Earth country diplomats easier.
But back to the problem at hand... Toyotomi beamed, more at Tsunade rather than the man next to her, and warmly said, "Welcome. I hope you will enjoy the party."
...
The party was over and Tsunade sat on Rei's lower back, straddling him as she massaged his stiff shoulders. Rei really deserved a lot of attention for putting up with Jiraiya's antics. And the white-haired man didn't even know Tsunade was his wife yet. Thankfully, there was Jiraiya's wife to drag him… somewhere. Unfortunately, that meant nobles and merchants swarmed Tsunade and Rei like hungry sharks.
So… yeah, in Tsunade's honest opinion, Rei really deserved some proper pampering. Then again, that might have been her inner pervert speaking. Something about having her husband moan under her gentle touch was oddly satisfying and very arousing. It perfectly satisfied her inner desires and stroked her ego in a way that made her feel all warm and fluffy inside of her smug heart.
Is it any wonder she threw a vase at the dipshit who interrupted their massage session which resulted in a cracked skull, three broken ribs, and a fair bit of bruises for the guy after the thrown vase embedded him into the wall behind him?
From there, it didn't take long for disgruntled Tsunade, a fearful squad of samurai that decided to be at the very least three feet away from the seething female at every time, and amused Rei who loved how Tsunade absentmindedly played with his fingers to calm her anger down while they waited for their inviter, sitting in a quite lavish meeting room in the Fire Daimyo's Castle.
The door to the room opened and the Fire Daimyo stepped inside, a relieved friendly smile on his lips. The smile however didn't last long and quickly faltered the second he saw the frown and narrowed eyes of Tsunade.
Rei had to mentally praise the guy for resisting the naturally obvious urge to step back.
"A-, Ah, hi, Tsunade. I see you are still quite the fire-cracker... hehe." Toyotomi averted his eyes as Tsunade's expression became even more annoyed, and awkwardly laughed.
"Toyotomi... you better explain yourself fast or I will give you a reminder of our playdates where you made me mad the first and also the last time." Tsunade sharply said, causing the samurai in the room to straighten up in preparation.
Rei only watched in amusement as Toyotomi subconsciously rubbed his butt, not even realizing it himself, and a grimace appeared on his face. "I'd rather not get spanked again." He quietly muttered and sat down on the opposite side of the table behind which Rei and Tsunade sat. "Anyway, I would like you to heal my son. I was looking for you for quite some time now but you were always... uh, unavailable." Toyotomi suspiciously glanced at Rei.
Tsunade nodded, "Yes. That's half of the reason why we even are in the Land of Fire." She said, causing Toyotomi to deflate in relief, causing Tsunade's lips to stretch into a content smile as she said her next words. "I also wanted you to meet my husband, Rei Yotsuba from the Land of Spring. It was him that made me, as you said, unavailable. I was kinda lost on the way out of his bedroom." She plagiarised Kakashi.
Tsunade's words froze Toyotomi's happiness and turned it into an arctic cold chill that crept up his spine as he stared with horror at Tsunade before slowly moving his eyes towards Rei, only to look back onto Tsunade, his horror only growing as he saw the woman's hand on her stomach.
"Please... don't tell me you are pregnant." Toyotomi, pale as a ghost, breathlessly rasped out, his eyes the depiction of terror.
Tsunade giggled.
Toyotomi knew Tsunade never giggled. Toyotomi was about to faint from the sheer consequences of this when Tsunade's voice pulled him out of his brief misery.
"No. Of course not." She deadpanned.
And just like that, Toyotomi felt all weight as if lift from his shoulders while his upper body leaned forward, and his forehead impacted the table from the sheer relief. Letting out a brief groan, Toyotomi drawled, "Don't spook me like that, Tsunade. I had enough international incidents to last me a few years." He sighed before mumbling the last part for himself. "You are too old for kids anyway.
"Nice to meet you Hideyori-sama," Rei decided to interject before Tsunade flattened the man who apparently didn't account for enhanced hearing of shinobi, "I must say Tsunade didn't talk much about you." He half-stated and half-asked in an unsure manner.
Toyotomi snorted and Rei was yet again surprised at how casual this meeting became. "Of course she wouldn't talk about me. Once upon a time, we were engaged but she decided to become a ninja rather than my wife. At best, we are childhood friends now." Toyotomi helplessly shook his head. "That said... your relationship is still a massive pain in the ass." He gave Rei his best stern piercing look but much to Toyotomi's surprise, Rei just shrugged as if he didn't care and Tsunade giggled... again.
Toyotomi could feel the beginning of a profound headache forming.
"And why exactly would it be a problem?" Rei asked.
Believe it or not, he had no idea this would happen. When he planned this trip to the Land of Fire, he made sure to plan it all. He knew why they were going here. He knew what he wanted to gain here. He knew why he took Tsunade with him.
Despite all that, this short meeting held many new revelations for him. Tsunade was engaged to the Fire Daimyo? Shocker. She was his childhood friend? Poor lad.
And for some reason, Tsunade being with him... no, being with a foreigner was apparently a problem. Rei really didn't like where this was going as it might just complicate his previous plans.
Rei glanced at Tsunade, causing her to fidget a bit as she threw him an apologetic look, "Sorry, I only remembered it now. You know how I hate politics so I never gave this much attention." She suddenly stopped herself and with her eyes gestured towards the samurai standing at attention near the walls.
Toyotomi quickly understood the gesture and sent his samurai guards and the hidden member of his ninja guard out of the room before strapping a secrecy seal on the table. Civilian, he may be, but he had a few tricks up his sleeve.
"Tsunade is talking about..." He started.
"Shh!" Tsunade sternly silenced the man before fluidly grasping a needle in her hair and pulling it out, causing her hair to fall onto her shoulders. With a flick of her wrist, the needle sailed through the air towards one of the corners where it nailed a previously invisible figure to the wall, straight through his forehead.
"ROOT." Tsunade deadpanned at Toyotomi who gained a look of realization before his eyes sparkled with barely hidden anger. Neither Rei nor Tsunade had any doubt that there would be harsh words exchanged with Hiruzen about this. After all, the Daimyo spent millions of Ryo because of the diplomatic fallout from the last incident with ROOT, and after that, he gave his explicit order to have them disbanded. To find they ignored it and one was spying on his meetings...
'Sucks to be Sarutobi right about now.' Rei mentally snickered.
"Well, now that we are alone, could you tell me what this is actually about?" Rei turned to Tsunade who sheepishly nodded, squeezing his hand a bit stronger now while her eyes nervously looked at his.
"Ah... you see, he is talking about the Secret Section 27 of Konoha Creation Treaty between the Senju clan and the Hideyori royal family. You see, Konoha is different from other hidden ninja villages on a very fundamental level. The section is about the creation of the Autonomous Country of Konoha..."