Several weeks later
Kim Mitzuki's P.O.V.
Dear Hope,
I know, I know. I keep saying I'll write more often in this journal and then I lose it or some shit or I just don't have time, 'cuz, that shit flies ya know?
First though!! I got super results on the Literature test I studied so hard for - MYGODS IT WAS SO HARD!! I was so nervous when I sat down that I couldn't think at all what I was going to do, but the test was on "Works of Literature by Fay've O. Clock". Someone must have heard me begging for mercy because I must have read all their works at least three times so I knew I'd ace the test because it's my absolute fave author. <3 <3 <3 And no, I don't care if putting hearts in my diary is "unmanly" as Eiji is always spouting, so *blows raspberries*
Eiji went on a date a couple of weeks ago but I... I dunno... I get really bad vibes from the guy he's hooked up with. I know he says it's all only for fun, but...I... I'm really worried about him. I'm worried FOR him. I know what guys like that do to guys like us, well, guys like me anyway. I know, I know, I'm worrying like I got nothing else to do or something, but Eijirou is my friend - yeah, he's a good friend and I ... I just want him to be safe and not have to go through what I went through because while I don't have nightmares about it as often anymore - that shit was bad, no, that shit was WORSE than bad. I don't want anyone to ever have to go through what I did. Nobody deserves that. I want to protect him 'cuz he's like my older brother or something, I love the guy to bits even when he does my head in!
Eijirou's been bugging me to go to the salon with him in the city and get our hair done together. I'm thinking about it. I don't know if I'm game enough to go into the city yet. I'm getting better when it comes to being around people but saying that, this isn't the hugest town - don't get me wrong I prefer being here and I don't really miss the city, but I do. I just don't know if I can go into the city without freaking out completely and that's the main reason I've been putting him off. I might ask him if he wants to do like a home job? I got pretty good at doing that when I was with ... well, when I was with my ex. Shit. I still get creeped out even thinking about him.
Don't get me wrong here. I'm not looking for a relationship or anything - Not after the last clusterfuck I got myself into. But I can still admire a nice (smokin' hot) guy when I see one and maybe point it out to Eiji ;-) I might ask Eiji if he knows the guy. ? I don't know, he seems to be friendly with him.
Anygays..
back to what I was writing earlier! I aced the Lit exam I was worried about because it was on the works of my favourite author so I'm really happy 'bout that.
I've also been getting pretty regular tips now that customers are getting to know me more and coming back to the Bar to chat. And OMG - Cordelia is so gorgeous! Long dark hair the colour of espresso, excellent taste in clothes that actually compliment her figure <3 A woman after my own heart <3 .....
Fuck off. Now I sound like one of those stereotypical gays that tv shows have just to quiet the LGBTQ+ community. Dammit. ERMAHGHERD - OH NOOOO! *laughs* *sighs at idiotic self* Ah well.
There's this guy that comes by sometimes, I swear he reminds me of BamBam. BB was one of Izuka's "friends" that often would take part in the "fun" he used to have with me. The beatings and, ugh, the other stuff... I'd really rather not remember any of it but it's always lurking there, in the back of my mind. I wish I could forget all of it but I know I never will. I just, I dunno, get a tingly feeling of "I know that dude" - do you ever have that Hope? Of course you don't, you're just a book.. With a lock on it.. In a locked box.. On my desk...
There are some similarities that make me think it is him, like his build - though this guy has broader shoulders and his thighs, my Gods, those thighs, they can be wrapped around my head any day.... *cough* I did NOT just write that! *cough*
This guy has a very similar gait and the way the left side of his lips curve up slightly before he smiles, a similar shaped face but I haven't been close enough to him to know if he's got the same small scars that BamBam had in his hairline and I've only seen enough of his ass to know it's fabulous.
So was BB's but I'll never admit that, soo... OOPS! Yeah, let's pretend I didn't write that, hahaha *shifts in seat awkwardly*
But there's also a lot of differences too. Firstly, his hair. BB had waist length midnight blue hair, this guy has short pink hair -I remember BamBam saying he'd never cut his hair even if he was paid to and by all the Gods in this universe, his hair WAS fucking gorgeous. It hung almost to his ass (and he had a fabulous ass, like, drool-worthy). BamBam used to always dress in suits, like tailored suits and he had a goatee (which this guy doesn't). I never saw him in anything else even on his 'days off' he wore a suit and hung around at the club. This guy wears jeans, tee shirts, sometimes a button-up open over a plain tee, but fuck me the slacks he wore last week -
his ass = amazing <3 <3 <3
ANYWAY! I need to stop getting distracted by imagining this guys ass in my hands... Yeah, as I was saying, this guy comes across as an introvert maybe, he's pretty quiet and soft spoken from what I've seen. He isn't anywhere near as loud or obnoxious as BB was. But then again I didn't know him very well, only what I knew of him when he was with Izuka.
Fuck me dead I woulda given my left nut to have a piece of that ass... Eijirou had to smack me a couple of times to stop me staring at him. But.... that ass. *drools* I'll have to try and snap a photo of him if I can to show you - preferably of his ass, *coughs* I mean, uh, his pretty face. Yeah, that's what I meant.
Anyway... I want to have a talk to Lan Yibo about it because if it is BamBam then I might be in big trouble, and it means that I've brought trouble to the Lan's because if Izuka Yang find out that I'm here, or if he finds out I am even a little bit happy without him he'll kill me. He'll lock me up and do,,, that,,, stuff to me again. I can't let him find me, I can't let him find out the Lan's helped me or that they gave me my job or my apartment, I can't let BamBam find me because if he finds me then it means that Yang will find me and if Yang finds me then we're all in trouble and he'll hurt the Lan's. If BB finds me he'll take me back, he'll torture me and he won't tell anyone he's taking me because everyone believes he's a good guy when he's really not he's a villain!
I can't let him take me, I have to get away - I can't be found but what if he's already found me? What if he's already told Yang? What if... NO! I can't let him hurt them! I can't let him hurt Yibo or Wuxian or Eijirou or Sizhui or any of the people I've gotten to know over this time that I've been away from him. What if all my efforts to stay hidden are gone? What if he's found me? What if he's really found me? Again? I wanted to be away from him, if He finds me I'm dead. I'm gonna have to leave everyone, I don't wanna have to leave but if I don't leave then He'll hurt every one - I don't want Eiji to be hurt, I don't want Sizhui to be hurt- I don't want to be hurt again - What if...??????
*pen scribbles off the page before stabbing into the book*
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3rd Person P.O.V.
The pages tore as he threw the book and as it landed face down on the ground, a page had torn as he grabbed it by the page and threw it at the wall, it hit with a solid *THUMP* and crashed to the ground.
Kim Mitzuki screamed and cried out at the thoughts that now crowded through his mind, all trying to make themselves known at once and it quickly overwhelmed him. Thoughts clamouring in and trying to take centre stage of his now panicking mind, setting his anxiety levels on extra high and creating his breathing to stutter, his mouth to become dry and choke him.
Mitzuki's heart was picking up speed and racing like a greyhound chasing an electronic bait rabbit on the rails of the racetrack. His heart was about to beat out of his chest or so fast that it might stop at any moment. He dropped to the ground, crouching and backing into the opposite corner of the wall where his diary had landed. Mitzuki felt as if a thick band was being wrapped around his lungs and squeezing tighter and tighter, making it so so hard for him to breathe - he couldn't breathe! He was going to suffocate and this would be the end of his life here.
*SLAM*
The bedroom door thumped open and a tall pink haired male rushed into the room, stopping quickly when he saw the brunette in the room was crouched in a defensive position against the wall. The pinkette called out to the male in the corner, "Hey, are you okay? Eiji sent me 'cause he heard... 'Zuki?"
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Meet BamBam "BB" Kaard
BamBam had finally found peace when he'd stopped following the green haired moron back in Qīpiàn City, well, it had taken him a couple of years but he felt that Liánhuā Hú was far enough away from Izuka Yang that he was able to breathe and actually be himself instead of the bouncer that Izuka wanted him to be.
He was having a mid-afternoon coffee with Eijirou before the dark brunette started his shift in a while. BamBam had mentioned in passing that he'd caught a glimpse and the 'new guy' was really fucking hot and so Eijirou had promised to introduce him to 'Kim' who'd been here for the last six months or so. However, the promise of an introduction came with the warning that if he hurt Kim then he'd have his ass handed to him by not only Eijirou himself but also Lan Wuxian and Lan Yibo. BamBam had paled at that thought.
------- ------- -------
Suddenly there was a thump, a scream and crying from upstairs, Eijirou paled as he looked up towards the sound. His eyes met the pinkette's determinedly. "Go. Upstairs, third left. Kim's having a panic attack you have to calm him down, 'cause I can't fucking leave." BamBam stared at him stupidly while the words processed. "You waiting for an invite? If Kim doesn't calm down in the first two minutes I'll have to get Lan Yibo! Please GO!" He demanded. The pinkette didn't need to be told twice. He knew how to calm someone having a panic attack because he'd seen Mitzuki, Izuka's boyfriend (punching bag) have a panic attack. He'd suffered them himself after he parted ways from Izuka, or as amicably as you can with a thug. Not that he'd admit to ever having a panic attack to anyone who knew him these days.
BamBam raced up the first set of steps to the landing, spun around to his left and quickly made his way to the third door on the left, barely noticing the plate had a sweet-pea flowers painted on it. Not allowing the thought to linger that he used to know someone who loved sweet-peas but that BB left him behind when he walked out, he opened the door too hard and it thumped against the wall behind.
He saw the book on the floor the pages bent. "Hey, are you okay? Eiji sent me 'cause he heard..." When he looked at the panicking male Eijirou had only referred to as Kim, BamBam felt like his heart was going to stop where he stood. " 'Zuki?"