He didn't know when he started to want it to be true. Aaron guessed that after seeing him trying every day different things, unusual methods each time, something deep inside his wanted to believe that maybe he did have a curse, that it wasn't his fault, or at least, not entirely. There were times he wanted it to be real so much that it hurt to think about it. He didn't want to get his hopes up but, sometimes, a smile would slip upon his features before he fell asleep; others, his mind would beat him for being so naive.
On their last day as partners, Jose had pursed his lips before telling him that it must be just bad luck because he hadn't found anything wrong in him. "Sorry, kid."
Upon hearing the remorse in his tone, Aaron tried, for the first time in months, to smile at him, to reassure him that he was fine even if he thought that there indeed was something wrong in him: Himself.
That was the first time Aaron had seen a sad expression in Jose. And he couldn't take it. It hurt to keep the smile on his lips. It drooped with every breath he took, his eyes turning glassy. Before Jose could reach for his, he excused and wished him a good night, rubbing his arms as he tried to store the old negative emotions deep inside of him, deep enough to be able to ignore them. He didn't want to think about how crestfallen he felt, how stupid he was (stupid, stupid); because for one moment, he thought that maybe the fault didn't belong to him.
He went to his room, closed the door, and curled on the floor. He breathed in and counted, then out, trying to think in other things, to read at least one paragraph of one of the books he had. But the pain didn't go away. The pressure was there, suffocating his, making him unable to hold it together enough for him to reach his bed. He slowly crawled and lied there, silent tears streaming down his face, and thankfully, there were not whimpers this time.
A nurse walked silently in, asked him if he was okay, placing his pills and a cup of water on top of the small chair next to his bed. He then helped him to sit and to drink them. It was easier to fall asleep after that.
- -
They kept talking even after their reunions were finally over. His doctor told him in one of their sessions that it was good to see him more open with others, complimenting him about the progress he had made all week. Aaron merely listened to him and tried to not space out as he nodded. But when he heard Dr. Simigh telling him that he was allowing him to receive visits once a week, his attention was on him all over again.
At first, Aaron didn't know what to think of it, but he hid it well. He already knew what he had to do so he thanked his doctor first, not knowing if his smile was genuine or not. He admitted that he did feel excited, thrilled to see Will and Karen, but it only lasted until he stepped out of the doctor's office, because he didn't really remember very well what had happened in their last encounter. He could only recall feeling Karen's lips on his hair as he said goodbye and Will's hug in the end.
Would they bring little Sophie? He didn't think that it would happen, though he wished it did because, even if she wasn't his sister, he still loved her like one. Of course, his real brother died because of that so maybe it wasn't exactly a good idea to bring her. Aaron wouldn't be able to blame them if they did so.
What would they ask him? What were they going to talk about? Would they ask him about how he was doing? If so, what he was going to answer? They wouldn't understand what he was going through because he didn't even understand what was happening to him; how could you even explain something that you didn't have the words for?
Marcus, his brother, once told him that Aaron was the one with 'people skills', always pushing him to talk to others so he wouldn't have to do it, to use his 'puppy eyes' so they could charm others. He laughed bitterly at that thought and cried until he fell asleep.
The next day the nurse came to wake him, reminding him that he needed to eat. He stood up, almost robotically, knowing that nothing would convince the nurse to let him stay in bed. He walked towards the dining room, ignoring the hollow in his chest that felt more like physical pain, unbearable, and constant. He felt too tired to feel grief, or perhaps he was just too numb to do it, that might be why, when he had his tray with food on his hands, he stood in the middle of the room and looked briefly at the usual corner where he ate alone. Stared at it before turning and going towards the table Jose usually sat at, always looking around his surroundings for some sign of Rei.
She was a nymphomaniac he had known for some time already, but for some reason, now, she looked at him as if he were the most delicious food she had seen in the entire universe. It made chills skitter down his back, his wrists itching every time he noticed she was glancing towards his direction, a smirk always on her lips.
Although, since he started to sit at the same table that Jose used, he hadn't seen her. It seemed that the older man had some kind of aura that made Rei go away.
- -
He smiled for the first time in months when he saw little Sophie next to Will and Karen, waiting for him in one of the tables of the room for visits. They talked about everything and everyone at the same time: Karen's bar (she had a new bartender), Will's garage (he finally made the old machinery disappear), little Sophie's classes (she had aced everything, but crafts). They never mentioned what had happened to him or why he was wearing shirts with long sleeves in the middle of summer. Aaron tried to smile more for little Jo, even when if his cheeks hurt and he grew more tired with every time he did it, but he didn't want to scare her or to do something that might make them decide to stop bringing her. Her beaming smile was worth everything.
In their third visit, he convinced Jose to go with him because Karen, after hearing about his friend, promised him to slip a blue label in Will's flask next to the brownies she baked, repeating that it wasn't any trouble, that she only wanted to meet him. Aaron refused to drink Jose's gift, telling him that it was for him and that perhaps some other time they would share a bottle instead of a flask. He grinned at him and accepted.
They all talked for a while, but after half an hour passed, they grew quieter. Aaron spent the time drawing with little Sophie as he talked softly with Karen, while Will and Jose discussed some books they both had read. Some people around them looked at both men as if they thought they would rip their throats any time soon, but Aaron knew that they liked each other, they were pretty similar after all.
- -