I don't have much time left. I really wish things weren't the way they were but currently, I suffer from a life-threatening illness. To make things worse, there is no known cure for it. If I were alone, I wouldn't have to worry because at that point, I wouldn't be leaving anybody behind. My best friend, Oswin has always been there for me since middle school. Before I met him, I was all alone. Nobody would talk to me. But he was the one to notice me.
If it weren't for him, I would have died not having friends. Thankfully, it's not just him. There's this girl blue-eyed blonde twin-tailed girl, Mary, who I think has a crush on him, who's been hanging out with us this past year. The fact that two people can put up with a waste of space like me makes me happy. I just wish that things weren't the way that they were. I want things to be normal, dammit!
But wanting things to be normal is asking for to much. There are so many things in life you don't get to choose: who your family will be, where you'll grow up, what gender you're assigned at birth, and so many other things. If people could choose to not live a life with an incurable illness, well, these illnesses just wouldn't exist.
"Yo, Gabe!" a male voice says, as a hand pats my back.
"Oh, g-good morning, Oswin!" I said.
"It's afternoon." he said, "What are you doing all alone on the roof?"
"J-just thinking is all." I said.
"Is there a girl you like?" he teased.
"Oh, no!" I said, "It's nothing like that!"
"Well, it doesn't matter," said Oswin, "class will be starting soon."
"Right!" I said.
I follow him into our classroom and take a seat next to him. In front of me is Mary. From time to time, I do wonder why she even bothered to start hanging out with us. Class starts and we get into the day's boring lesson.
"I'm so bored." commented Mary when it was over.
"It's not so bad," I said, "we've only got like seventy something days left to go."
"That's seventy something too many." responded Mary.
"You think so?" I responded.
"Yeah." she said.
"To think after this we've just got more school to look forward to." said Oswin, "So, where are you two planning to go to college?"
Would I live that long? Will I actually be able to go?
"I... don't know." I answered.
"You don't have much time left." said Oswin, "You need to figure something out."
After that, I started coughing.
"I'm sorry." I said, "I need to get going."
After that, I ran out the door.
"Hey, wait!" was the last thing I heard Oswin say.
I really hate to leave like this, but I don't really want them to see me this way. As I ran, I took a look at my hand. Blood. Again. Over the next few days, I didn't show up to school. When I returned, Oswin was happy to see me.
"Y'know, if there's ever something bothering you," said Oswin, "I can take you to the nurse."
"Um... thanks." I said, looking down at the ground.
"Look at me." he said.
I look up at the red-haired guy with brown eyes.
"What's wrong?" he said.
"I have to ask you... um... why did you talk to me in the first place?" I responded.
"Why do you need to ask something like that?" asked Oswin.
"Because... don't you feel like you've wasted your time?"
"I would never feel like I wasted my time talking to you."
"But I might not even live that much longer!"
"You don't know that!"
"...But what if I do die?"
"Then I'll be here with you until it happens."
"Oswin..."
Oswin is the only one that knows all the details of my illness. We never really talked about it much with Mary. All she knows it that I'm out sick a lot. We never told her that what I have could end up taking my life. Even knowing about it, Oswin still stuck with me.
"You were all alone back then." said Oswin, "Somebody had to hang out with you."
I was very grateful to have someone like him around. Luckily, I was able to get several more peaceful school days, but they weren't able to last. I got into a really bad coughing fit in the middle of class and lost a lot of blood. I'll never forget the horrified look on Mary's face. After that incident, I was sent off to the hospital.
I spent the next several days bedridden. Oswin, Mary and my family would all come to visit me whenever they could. On Mary's first visit, we decided it was only fair to tell her the truth about my illness. It was that day I learned what it felt like to have someone cry over me. I didn't like the feeling at all.
Days went by and I was still stuck here, wondering if I'd ever make it to college. But that just wasn't going to happen. One day, I was alone with Oswin and Mary in my hospital room and both of them had dark expressions on their faces. I'm glad they were worried about me, but... I don't want it to bother them forever. Then, some odd sensation came over me. I felt like I was slipping away.
"I'm... sorry." I said, "Please... don't worry about me."
"How can you say that!?" exclaimed Oswin.
"It seems... that my time... has come." I said, "Please... keep... living...
your lives."
"Don't you dare die on me!" yelled Oswin, "GABE!"
"Gabe, no!" yelled Mary, "If you die now, I-"
What was she trying to say?
"I never got to tell you... I'm in love with you!" she yelled.
What? I thought she had a crush on Oswin...
"Gabe, so please, don't die..." she said.
"GABE!" yelled Oswin.
And that was the last thing I heard. How irritating. I died of my illness and I found out a girl liked me when I was dying. Why did things have to end this way? So, I guess now... I go to heaven? I can't believe my story is already over.