"As i thought... i'm better off dead"
- Jasmine
Chapter 57: Memory
"Jazzy? are you okay?" my eyes landed at a boy with black messy hair and dark green eyes.
i nod and smiled at him. i could see girls glaring at me hatefully.
"Yeah Tristan you should go back to practice"
i walk pass him but i felt him held my arm to held me back.
i accidentally let out a hiss causing him to let go of me and widen his eyes.
he was about to say something when someone called him. we both turn around and when y eyes met a pair of chocolate brown eyes i unconsciously stiffen and let out a shaky breath.
my heart started racing and i felt my cheeks heated.
"bryan what is it?" i heard tristan ask and i could sense him feeling annoyed.
"Practice" bryan simply said and turned around with Lester behind him.
i felt my chest tighten when he just ignored me but i remained calm outside and turn around to leave.
ignoring tristan's annoyed calling.
Tristan is a childhood friend of mine.
We were close when we were kids but when we tarted junior high he suddenly confessed his feelings to me causing our relationship to feel ignore.
i started ignoring him since then. i know it was a dick move but i don't want to hurt him.
This is really cliche but all i could think was that. i didn't even give him a proper confession.
though he didn't ignore me or got mad at me. he started chasing after me instead insisting that one day i'll accept his feelings.
Bryan is different from tristan. he doesn't like me but he doesn't hate me either.
he's the kindest person i know. when i was trapped in the rain he gave me his umbrella and run in the rain.
he also gave me his food when amelia dumped it in the garbage bin.
i know it sound like he really cares for me but that isn't the case. he... he just pities me.
and i don't hate it because he doesn't hide it from me, he openly shows it but doesn't utter anything.
he's so kind that i started getting flustered around him.
i took a deep breath and smiled.
i wish i could let out this silly feelings i have for him.
.
.
.
i stop in front of my house and opened it and got greeted by silence and the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and after sex.
biting my lower lip i entered the house and saw pieces of cigarettes in the floor and bottles of alcohol.
"oh you're back?" i tiredly stared at my mother who's body is wrap with blanket and a cigarette in his mouth. she didn't glared at me nor shows any sign of resentment nor happiness.
it's as if i was just someone living in the house and would just go one day and come home the next day.
it's as if i am just a tenant in her house.
i hum and nod.
i started cleaning the room while she staggered on the kitchen to probably get another drink.
i sigh and silently went back to cleaning.
I never had the experience of a happy family like the others. since the day i started speaking and waking i never had someone accompanying me.
no one feeds me nor help me walk.
i thought it would always be like that and then suddenly i met the first person who cared for me, my first friend.
Tristan... her mother was the reason i went to school.
they are the reason i survived in this life.
unfortunately life wasn't fair for me. tristan's mother died after giving birth to his little brother. then a few months later.
Tristan's father remarried someone.
and that person hates me and sent tristan away from me whenever she get the chance. our time together shortens and the distance between us lengthen.
then halfway from middle school he transferred in my school and we become friends again.
everything went downhill between as after his confession.
i sign and fixes the couch. i suddenly heard noises in my mother's room.
if anyone hears it they would immediately get flustered and embarrass but i am different. i got used to hearing it from morning to evening. it just.. doesn't stop.
tired, i went to the kitchen to grab a snack but saw the cupboard empty.
i purse my lips in annoyance and immediately calmed down and went out from the house.
i should just die. my life seems a mess and no one would worry for me.
no tristan will... even though it just him, there's still someone.
and it's enough for me to smile.
i roam around the place without a destination in mind and stops when i bump to someone.
"sorry" i instinctively apologize and tried to walk past him when he block my path again and a rose and jasmine flowers appeared in front of me.
"Tristan told me to give this to you... i'm sorry for your lost"
that voice. bryan?
i raised my head and stared at the owner and saw the person that made my face flustered.
"What?" i ask but i couldn't hear my voice and it seems he doesn't too because he showed a confuse expression.
lester called him and both of them smiled before walking away from me. lester said the same words bryan said to me making me feel more confuse.
i followed them but i lost sight them. signing i roam my eyes around and found my self in the middle of the road.
i started walking to the sides when suddenly i heard something that made me freeze.
"Did you hear?"
"What is it?"
"The Quincy Academy was engulfed in flames"
no..
"many students died one of them is the son of the Zalkin's and the well known politician"
no no...
"Hilbert's only son?"
no...why?
"Yes-Hey lady watch out!!"
"Oh my god!!!"
I felt my body roll in the ground countless times and i heard my bones cracking. it's very painful... so painful i couldn't breath.
Tristan... why?...
'Jazzy we are in the same school again!'
'I'll court you till you finally give in and accept my feelings!'
'hi my name is tristan, what's your name?....
jasmine? your name is really pretty just like you!'
'Tristan told me to give this to you... i'm sorry for your lost'
my eyes landed on the pair of roses and jasmines around it wrap with a pretty white ribbon.
"tri...stan"
"Oiii someone call the ambulance! don't just stand there hurry!"
as i thought... i'm better off dead.
.
.
.
my eyes opened and a two pairs of eyes are staring at me.
one who's Pink and sleep and the other is blank and red.
"You are awake..." a voice as emotionless and monotone as a rock said causing me to stare at the owner.
his eyes were red and seemed like blood.
"i'm glad you are awake my lady... Ethan is close to crying again"
a gentle and lazy voice said next causing me to stare at them too.
"huh?! i am not!" the boy with red eyes retorted causing the pink eyed woman to smile teasingly.
they started bickering causing a sense of nostalgia enters me.
"who...." i felt my voice crack in the end but it manage to capture their attention.
"Who... are you guys?" their eyes widen and both of them screamed in fright.
my ears twitch and i tried to cover them but halted when my eyes landed at the bouquet of flowers in the table.
Roses and jasmine.
Tristan... he's.... he's alive?