AN: As this is the last one of Cocktail, I decided to do my best and do everything that I wish to in this one; irrespective of its length. I am gonna pour my heart on this one so to all of you who are reading this, hope you enjoy it.
PREVIEW
"Are they really that big?" I asked; mesmerized. "Or they fake it like almost everything else?"
"I don't know. But I guess I'll take my chances." My best friend Eric replied.
"But when did you all of a sudden got this urge to buy these stuff?" I asked looking at Eric who was just eyeing at his options.
"One night stands are no longer safe, if you know what I mean." Eric replied.
"Eric, you can say that they refuse to use condom. I seriously don't freak out about this anymore."
"(Gasps) I don't think so. Because the first time when you saw me being fucked by a guy, you fainted!" Eric laughed.
"Well, that's how I seemed to know that you're homosexual! Isn't it a little weird way to know that about your best friend since middle school? But now I am totally okay with these stuff."
"You calling me homosexual and not gay just so proves how okay you are!" Eric stated out.
I scratched the nape of my neck and didn't say anything.
"And I am getting tired of watching (air quotes) homosexual porn. Which I don't want to. So to satisfy my horniness, I want to do these stuff.(I rolled my eyes) Look at these!!! Black, Extra huge, Soft, Thick, Uncut, Oh..... Look at this (Eric nudges me to look) Have you seen something this big and majestic? I am going to order this.(My own pair of eyes got big after looking at it. Eric notices this) Why, do you want one?" He teases.
"Fuck you!" I shouted to which Eric grins. "I am going to the bathroom. You continue your shopping!" I answered back; annoyed.
I entered in the washroom and closed the door. I touched my penis which was hard on. And I couldn't take those stuff out of my mind. I couldn't wait anymore. I opened my belt and pulled down my pants in a hush. I took my hard on dick in my hand and started throbbing it up and down. Rewinding the images I saw minutes ago, I was horny as ever and just when I imagined one of them in my mouth, I shooted my warm and off white load out of my penis and now my load was on the walls and some of it on the floor and on my own hands.
I got this sudden urge to taste some of it and so I tasted the some of it which was left on my hand. It was salty but I found it tasty enough to lick it again. Now the thought of eating something which came out of my own penis felt weird at first but when I tried it a month ago, I for eating it; out of hunger which was one of the reasons, continued masturbation. Part reason was though having sex with my wife enough times, I wasn't satisfied. I was sort of bored. But i loved my wife Katherine very much so why was I bored? However this boredom was increasing since the time I got to know about Eric's homosexuality. Does this mean I am interested in Eric?
After cleaning every spot where I shot my load, I came out of Eric's and bathroom tried to act normal. But in reality, I was freaking out. I just masturbated thinking of dicks. And ejaculated on sucking one of them. This has got me worried.
---Characters---
Name: John Brown
Age: 37
Profession: High School Teacher
Likes: Ice cream(chocolate flavour), traveling, having fun with his two little daughters, his wife.
Dislikes: His new feelings for someone.
John Brown is someone you'd love to have him a part of your life. With his helpful nature and kind behaviour, almost everyone are fond of him. And those who aren't; because they don't like how kind he is.
Name: Kristopher Marnin
Age: 34
Profession: Doctor
Likes: Flirting with men, doing one night stands, the colour black, being detached from people.
Dislikes: His parents, Change in his likes(to be specific, detached one)
Kristopher Marnin could be one of those guys who never take anything seriously. He lives his life with one night stands and only one night stands in order to forget his only regret which led him to loose his daughter(meaning to his ex wife). He is almost everytime calm but when it comes to his parents, he loses it.Though, when it comes to his parents, he loses it.Though, when it comes to his parents, he loses it. However a sudden change in his life's gonna cause a wreck in his life very soon.
Name: Eric Jzchiker
Age: 34(but tells everyone 28)
Profession: Event Organiser
Likes: Having sex, Being cautious, Cooking, Massaging, a deep feeling of settling with someone.
Dislikes: His parents, liking the deep feeling of settling with someone because of some past traumatic experience.
Eric Jzchiker is someone who can be seductive as fuck and can easily convince you to fuck him. Though loving random dicks in his hole, he still desires somewhere a single dick in his hole forever. He has never expressed his trauma to anyone; not even John because he is severely hurt bybit and thus stops implementing on this desire.
Name: Katherine Brown
Age: 35
Profession: Lawyer
Likes: Loving John, doing her job with determination, loving her kids and the job where she is pretending to be happy.
Dislikes: Being fake all the time.
Sophie Brown, just like John is very kind and polite to everyone. She pretends to be the perfect woman but deep down she shares a secret which is the real reason why she had also tried to kill herself before her marriage. But because of a promise, she has to live how she does.
Names: Avery and Adery Brown.
Age: 12 years.
Likes: jewelry(especially earings), ice cream, skittles, playing with each other, supporting each other(more like Avery supporting Adery).
Dislikes: Kids who make fun of Adery, kids movies(except Frozen 1 & 2).
The twin sisters are a dream to watch playing and talking. They are there for each other always no matter what happens and loves their family.
Name: Brian Kole
Age: 30
Profession: Owner of the club 'Flaming Chicos'
Likes: Gin and Tonic, being descent, settling with someone, being kind.
Dislikes: His parents.
Brian Kole is what gives hope and proof to the existence of gentlemen. He never fights with anyone and does what is right.
(There are others characters but they're not so important)
*Meeting with the demons*
John
I kissed Katherine while Avery and Adery took their school bags. Still nothing.... I tried my best to ignite those feelings again and stop thinking about dicks once and for all. Alas... With slight disappointment; wait scratch that, huge disappointment and nerve, I waved her bye outside my house.
While the kids were getting comfortable in the car, I checked myself in the mirror as today I was going to meet the demons! Not the actual demons. No! Because they are better than the parents at my school. Leader High School may sound prestigious and all novelty. But in real, it is nothing but slaves of parents. I may be part of one of the biggest high school but it still doesn't save us from the kids' parents hell. We can't even shout at the kids with content and satisfaction otherwise next day, we regret the day we were born. With principal supporting the parents anyhow, no one can save us. And the parents of high school teenagers will die but not believe anything which won't suit their perfect kids. High school teenagers are the complete devil.
I quickly dropped my kids at their school and continued my way towards hell. Okay, I may be exaggerating my situation but it really feels like hell. When they question us for their kid's failures and bad result. I am so grateful that in my subject, almost every student passes with satisfactory performance. But I really pity on Mr. Down who teaches math. Only the nerds passes the subject and the majority i.e. the rest fails. You should see the man's face after this day gets over.
But even such horrific day couldn't keep my mind off of my problem. I really don't know what to do. This must be one of those thing where you feel you are homosexual too if your best friend are. Because best friends shares common interests. But that is not my case. Or is it?? OH, FUCK IT!!
*Two lives, One life*
Katherine
John kissed me goodbye. Because he loves me. But he doesn't love the real me. Because he doesn't know her. And I would do anything for him to love me for how I am. But I am not sure he'd even like the real me. And I can't risk that. I just needed to live my life; the way I want while I still can. But again I can't risk that.
I connected the TV with YouTube and saw the home page. There were all those feel good songs which I hated. The true me. I played songs by Rage Against the Machine, Otep and other angry bands. The songs I truly loved to hear and not songs like Love Story or Shape Of You. I danced around a little while; enjoying in my own space when I got a call from work. Oh right, this is not my desired life. I picked it up and realised that I have to work. To be honest, I was a little annoyed when I was disturbed in my own bubble but as I had to maintain my image, I was kind and polite as usual. I wish to seriously load all of the bullets in him. But...
I wore my lawyer suit and got in my car. I seriously was enjoying those angry songs. Because I was angry too. I was doing a phenomenal job at hiding it though. No one knows what I truly feel. If I was the boss of my own life, I would shoot every single guy. But not my John. I love him...
*Dicks and the deep desire*
Eric
It finally came! It felt ages since I ordered these with John. I still cannot determine why was John reacting that way. He was acting all normal but he was freaked out. And I still don't know why. Since then we haven't been able to talk much, though. I think there's something going on with him which I will for sure find out.
BUT NOW, ITS TIME TO PLAY!!!!
I never knew I would be so excited over a toy at an age of 34. But this is no rubber duck, this is a huge rubber dick we are talking about! I don't know whether my hole would take in this giant dick. But my experience in all those one night stands might help. After all, I have been fucked by long, broad, black, extremely white, freckled, cut, uncut and God knows how many type of dick. So this should be a piece of cake, right?
'Oh!'
I mentally exclaimed! I felt no pain but the pleasure was to die for. My legs were so weak in pleasure that it was hard to bent down on my knees. And my hands no longer had the strength to keep it going. But I hadn't had enough. I took everything in me and gathered it up. My hand then started going up and down. And I was in heaven!
After I came, I wished the dick to release it's cum too. But that was just a rubber. Not a real dick from a real person. I wanted a real dick to suck and to fuck. It was two weeks since I had last fuck. But the spread of diseases through intercourse is also an issue. And who knows; any random dick could have any random disease. If only I had a regular dick...
Not again!! I am not fond of this thought at all! It's so..... nice... And to me, nice doesn't exist. Not after what I've been. Every nice thing comes to an end. Take Angelina And Brad for instance. Did they work? They were the true definition of nice but they didn't last long. I know life for different people is different but this is the life I have chosen for myself. Nothing nice...
*Hello, unknown you*
John
The meeting was coming to an end. Only 9th grades kids' were left. And fortunately, they were not bad. They were good and their parents were bearable too.
The time was almost over when a girl who seemed familiar entered in the class,
"Mr. Brown?" The girl asked politely.
"Yes?"
"I am Linda. I am in one of your class in 9th." The girl; apparently Linda informed.
I remembered her. She is one of those quite kids who didn't disturb me and minded their own business.
"Oh, yeah! Linda... Hopkins, right?"
"Yes sir."
I frowned at her timing, "But Linda, you are so late! I was almost ready to go." I said politely; knowing the consequences if I don't.
At that instant, a man around my age came from behind her. I was bedazzled to see a piece of such beauty. And he was smiling at me. Widening his pink lips at me. Oh, my god! I could just kiss him!!!
Stop it! This is not an appropriate behaviour! You shouldn't feel like kissing someone unknown! He's smirking at me! Oh, he must've noticed my amazement!
"Hi. I am Kristopher Marnin, Linda's father." He informed in his manly voice. He reached out his hand to shake.
I stared at it. The hand. Reaching out to me. So poignant. I cannot shake hands. My palms are sweaty. Look at what you did Christopher!!!
He hummed at me; thus waking me up from my land of wonder mad thoughts. His hand were still reaching at to me. Stern as ever. I finally shook hands. I didn't quite understand the smirk he gave me while shaking hands. It felt weird.
"I um.. am John Brown...." I finally began to speak; hesitately of course but he interrupted me.
"Linda's teacher, I know. Linda talks a lot." He said. I swear I heard Linda muttering the complete opposite. "And that your subject is her favorite." I again heard Linda muttering,
"It isn't!"
Somehow Christopher maintained a smirk and a flirty look with me which felt weird at first but now I was flowing in his river. I was beginning to go speechless so I instructed them to sit and I sat across them. We discussed about Linda and her performance. To my surprise, Christopher... I should really stop thinking him of his name!! Mr. Marnin... Marnin? But Linda's Hopkins. Does this mean... Anyway Mr. Marnin was obscenely kind and humble. Yes, obscenely! I was ignited with lust for his humble self and kindness.
Okay, shit's going real!!..
Linda was anyway less troubled one so the meeting with her dad ended sooner than I expected. And I wanted. Why did I wanted to talk to this guy with all my heart? He seems like a normal guy. So what is the thing he has that keeps me going so anxious for him? Sweaty palms at the first sight, hesitant in talking, lusting on his personality... I mean, I am clearly confused as to what my mind was thinking. And how was it thinking that. I seriously just wished Linda to be a troubled girl!!
No, John!
When they were out of the class, Chris... Mr. Marnin asked Linda to wait outside for him. Linda I guess gave an irritated look at this. And once Linda was out of the entrance he turned his face to me and just smiled at me.
"So I am a doctor." He informed.
"Oh, great! But doctor in what exactly."
"Everything." He said with a wink. "I am just kidding! I am good with children. But I can handle adults too..." He smirked.
"Good for you!" I exclaimed.
But Good for you? Seriously, John! But I was point blank after hearing what he had said. I was confused whether he was flirting with me or not. I hope he was!!
Oh, stop it!
"Yeah, um(looks down then again at me) I wanted to talk to you but I am super busy now. I work at Wilcrest Hospital, so I'd really appreciate if you'd stop by sometime someday, maybe. Okay?" He asked nervously.
I could only nod at this. He just asked me to hang out sometime. And I was ready for it. Waiting for it. Excited for it. Nervous about it. But again, he said he wanted to talk so it could be about Linda. Yes, it could be about Linda. That's why she gave him that irritated look. The look which I am not sure of... But I'm sure he's only asking me this for Linda.
But then why was I feeling sad?
He said a 'See you soon then' and left. He didn't wave bye nor did he look at me after that. He just said that and went. He definitely wants to talk about Linda. Then why was he giving me a constant smirk all the time?
*Ben Willower is so bad!!*
Avery
I know Adery didn't want to go school today. It's been so long Ben Willower making fun of her. If only Adery show at least a little bit of need in help, I would do something about it. I could tell Laura Miss. She'd do something about it. Adery is one of her best students after all. Or I can take care of it myself.
I am an average but Adery is so much smarter than me! But I don't think she'd be as attentive as she is if Ben continues to tease her. But Adery says she is fine so I just cannot do anything.
We got our test results back and Adery as usual, got an A. I am so proud of her. I got a B- though. But I was happy with my result. While I was examining the answers I got wrong; which seemed correct to me ignoring the red mark, I noticed Adery; sitting on my left reading something else and not her paper. When I looked at it clearly, I realised it was a crumbled paper. She frowned and I could see a tear was almost about to escape her left eye. I snatched the paper from her and looked at it. Adery was constantly asking me not to. But I read it anyways.
'A-Dery should have gotten a D because it suits her name and her speech.'
I was fuming in fire. How could someone write that to someone? It was so cruel! There was no name written on it but I knew it was Ben. Because he was acting all innocent and avoided looking here. When Adery realised that acting strong won't help her anymore, she let that tear escape from her left eye. That was it! I am gonna show this paper to our teacher. Adery begged me to not but I wasn't going to listen to hear!
I got up, walked towards teacher and handed her the paper. She looked at it and asked me,
"Where did you find this?"
"Someone threw it to Adery." I explained.
The teacher nodded and then stood up.
"Okay, childern! Who wrote this(Raises the note) Hmm?"
Of course no one gave any answer.
"I shouldn't see such behaviour again or the consequences would be severe."
What! That can't be the end! Just like that? Oh, no!
"Mam, is that it?"
"There's nothing I can do, Avery. There's no name written on it." Miss tried to explain herself.
"Can't you determine the person by comparing the handwriting? They have their results back. You can easily compare...."
Mam shut me off, "Its fine Avery. No one will mess with Adery now."
How does she know? How can someone be so least interested?
But I too cannot help anyway. I just know it is Ben Willower but I have no proof. But now that she has finally shown that she is hurt, I should support her and be there for her. And protect her from kids like Ben!!
*A possible massacre*
Kristopher
Okay. This went by sooner than I expected. And a lot better! Man, the teacher is cute! John, was it? Yeah it was John. Suits him. He is too sexy to be a teacher. I have seen sexy teachers in movies and series like Martin in Elite. But I saw one in real today! He was so hot and was nervous too which made him cuter. Wow, he is cute, sexy and hot! And if he tried, he could be magnificently seductive. But why was he nervous? Was this his first year? I don't think so. Was he nervous because of me? I don't think so. Wait, I do think so! He had no other reason to behave like that! Did he found me attractive? But I did see his family photo. He seemed completely straight. Or his case was like on one of those who were always gay but married a girl anyways? That's intriguing. And.....
I was interrupted from my thoughts when Linda spoke up,
"Hey, da.. dad. Why did you told me to wait for you outside?"
I don't know why she hesitated at calling me dad. Maybe I do know.
"I just wanted to talk to him about something." I replied.
"Oh, not again dad! Not him, please!" She seemed irritated.
"What? What are you saying?" I asked.
"(rolls her eyes in defeat) Just spare him from your games!" She shouted a little and then started gazing out the window.
She was saying like she knew how this was gonna end up. Like she knew what I was upto. But she doesn't. Because even I don't know what I am upto. All other guys were cute, sexy, hot. But I never found one guy intriguing. I never wanted anyone to meet me. Usually I'd make them wait for me but here I was waiting for him. If only I didn't had any of these appointments! Who knows I'd be fucking him by now. What? Am I seriously agitated and eager for someone. If things are going that way; which I hope not, then there's gonna be a big massacre. And this is no exaggeration...
*I've seen nothing more perfect*
Eric
I am sure. A hundred percent sure pleasure by dildos are just temporary. It's been two weeks since I have been messing around with these stuffs and I am bored. Maybe because I've been using it too much. I mean after waking up, at shower, before leaving for work, after coming from work, at night shower and before sleep isn't too much, right? Ugh!!! I always do this! I get excited over new things and do too much and then get bored of it. I even tried other types but if I was bored by that giant one, then others just contributed to my misery.
So here I am. In this club. Again! Honestly I have no problem with this club. It's just that I always end up having sex with a man here. And as I said, gay sex is getting nasty as fuck! It's not sacred anymore! For me there are complete eight stages in gay sex. First, the kiss which gives us boost and gets us ready for what's coming. Then towards end of kiss, unclothing each other. Second comes kisses on neck and giving hickies. Third comes along with sucking nipples and kissing abs. Fourth is when you do the holiest thing on earth, giving blowjob. Then after being so ecstatic with blowjob, you should respect your partner and give them rest while still maintaining the fire in between by sucking toes and licking it. That's there your fifth step. Then in the sixth, you prepare them for the next step by eating their ass with full desire. Seventh step, fucking fuck. Fucking in different positions while making sure your partner is having fun is what steals the show. Then the last step is shooting your cum and eating it gracefully.
But now, it is just fucking and blowjobs. Which I hate to its entirety!!
This club has it's own benefits though. The music is solid, the drink is satisfactory too. It helps me to escape all of my problems; actually one problem, and let me just live the life the way it is supposed to be lived. With no constant fear.
And who could forget all the blessed looking guys?
And though I was fed up with rubber dicks and hate the ongoing procedure of sex, I really needed a fuck. I used to be fucked every day. And now, it's been four weeks since I have been fucked(or sometimes have fucked). That's like almost a month. And as much as I didn't want it, I at the same time wanted it. It's weird? No, it's strange. I needed the pleasure of real dick in my holes. My asshole and my mouth, of course. I was rummaging my eyes through the available guys and found that most of the guys I have already been fucked by. I felt like I was some kind of slut.
I was in grief until I met eyes with someone who joined me at the bar counter. Even in those disco lights, I could say with no doubt that he was the ultimate definition of handsome and cute. Oh my god, does HE still make this kind of men? And to notice, he wasn't flirting at me or smirking at me like the rest of the hungry men here. He was just displaying a decent and kind smile. I also smiled at him. Though I am not sure I was giving a kind one or a lustrous one. He then came closer to me. I guess so that I could hear what he was saying.
"Can I buy you drink?" He offered.
"Oh, no. I am fine."
Idiot! What's wrong with you. He was being a gentleman. Now don't just stand! He already has made the first move. Now it's your turn to talk. Talk!!!!!
"Never seen you around here. You new?"
"You could say that. You sure you don't want anything?"
Well obviously I cannot say yes now! And so I shook my head.
"Okay. Um... Dex?" He knows Dex by his name? That means he already has been here. Man I missed the chance of being fucked by fresh dick. There's nothing like a fresh dick...
Dex asks what does he want as usual. But it felt a little respectful.
"Gin and Tonic, please." He asked. Gin and Tonic, that's like legit gay drink.
Dex seems to be a little nervous while making his drink. Why was he nervous? This is his job. I am sure he makes hundreds of gin and tonics. Was Dex nervous because of this guy's beauty? I mean I have never seen anything perfect than his face. Maybe Dex is going through like me. I am pretty sure Dex wants to fuck him but he is married to oh, so Ben. Commited! All the more reason not to settle.
Dex gave him the drink. "Here you go, sir. And sir...(scratches the nape of his neck) Jessie's due date's tomorrow. And Ben already got his leave. So he and I was wondering if I could also get a leave? I mean it means a lot to him and me."
The kind, sexy, hot, godlike gentleman waved his hand and said,
"Of course, Dex. That's a special day to you and Ben. Barns will fill you in."
"Thank you, sir." Dex said with the happiest smile on his face.
Wait, why was Dex asking the man for his leave? Could he be.... No! That's Ander. He's the manager! I know because I have been fucked by him in his own cabin.
"Hey? Where are you?" He asked me. "It seemed you were lost in a trance."
Okay I really needed to know who he was. "I am Eric Jzchiker." I offered my hand. "And you?"
"Brian Kole. Owner of this club."
*A month or ten years?*
John
It's been a month since my encounter with Linda's father Christopher. That guy never left my mind though. And I don't know I am going crazy or not but I feel it's been more than a month since I've met him. But it has been just a month and I know it. I was begging myself not to miss the guy so much. He was just being nice and a little flirty. Actually a lot flirty! The way he dressed it was evident he was gay. Tight black shirt tucked in his tight white jeans with red converse. Okay, not much of evident. But his upper two buttons were open except the collar one so he was gay. Or atleast curious. But why was he flirting with me? Was I interesting to him? Oh, he just wanted to fuck me maybe. I don't want that. But then why am I feeling excited to this?
I disliked these new feelings for him. Because I have a family with me. I love my daughters. They are the best thing happened to me. And my wife...well I now think I don't love her. I guess I only like her. I was never able to love her for I don't why. But I guess now I know. And if this is why, then I should follow these feelings. It isn't fair for her. She loves me. I know that. But living with someone who's not being himself isn't fair for her.
I am kind of glad that Adery hurt herself. I know that makes me such an asshole but now I can get her to the hospital where Christopher works. That still doesn't explain why I would feel glad over it! But I am finally meeting him without being seen too desperate. And that is all thanks to Adery. That still doesn't justify it though.
Adery just twisted her ankle while playing and we were already in the car. With Avery, of course. She never leave her side, I must say. They are both there for each other no matter what. At least Avery is.
So I parked at the parking lot of Wilcrest Hospital. I took a look at the hospital and I just cannot believe such a boring and dull building prosper that cutie. I mean white building with absolutely no fun and warmth from outside. The name of the hospital written on the building. And they even fitted a band-aid in that name. Someone who's far away from this building can easily determine it as a hospital. It isn't like I've never been here before. I have. But I've been noticing it just now.
The inside of the hospital was as boring as outside. People sitting and that mediocre smell of hospitals! That gives me the hugest aches. I went over the information desk and informed to the lady that I had an appointment with Dr. Marnin. She checked in her computer, and directed to his cabin. But she was awfully slow at it. She should've heard my heartbeat! It was running to thousand km/s! Again exaggeration. But I swear it was fast. Like faster than any before! And the fact that I had to be in the lift to reach the cabin was just not helping my situation. Oh, yeah his cabin was at the topmost floor. OF COURSE!!! You don't know my situation. I gotta tell you, I was nervous, scared, excited, anticipated and ...horny??? I know you all must be like Been there, done that. But I've never been there and never done that!!
But why am I horny? It's not like my dick was erected or anything but I had the feeling of jumping on him and tearing all his clothes. Is that horny? I guess it is. And now when I think of it my dick is erecting! Oh, God I hope he doesn't notice it. I hope my underwear hides it pretty well!
"Dad, is it gonna hurt?" Adery asked me with hurtful eyes. She didn't cry but it was clear she was in deep pain.
I shook my face, "Not a bit!" I lied.
The room lady said was 508. I stood in front of it and was a little confused. But then I realized I had it all wrong. His surname was there and I could hear his voice. Maybe talking on a phone. And now I think of it, he never mentioned it. I just considered it. With an amount of courage satisfying for filling this hospital, I opened the door. And saw his black head? Not even his face? He was turning his back to me speaking on a call. I couldn't focus on what he was saying because I was too busy noticing what he was wearing. Black shirt tucked in light blue jeans. His white doctor coat was rested on the table in front of him. Man he do look great in black. Yeah, I can declare that seeing his back!
"Uhmm.." I tried to steal his attention.
He must've expected me because as soon as I made the sound, he turned towards me and showed his widest, but cute grin. There's that smile again... My heart melted on his smile.
This past month has really changed me and I don't know how and in which sense. And a lot has happened. And a lot I mean with Eric. God I am still a little angry as he did hide it the entire time from me. But I am also thankful that he eventually told me. And I really hope he consider what I had said and decides to settle with Brian!
He got up from his chair and hung up the phone at an instant and greeted.
"It's you! Well, hi."
I waved and said with a huge smile.
"Hi! I just got to know that your name is Kristopher with a K!"
*Life's hell*
Katherine
I thought I had it in me. But I cannot take it anymore. This fake life has really got me. For real. I mean what am I doing if I keep on giving advices and teach my kids about honesty and being honest with myself if I live a lie? The other day Adery wrote me a poem and said nice things about me. But the thing which stung me was the line she wrote:
The honest angel of my life.
I am nowhere an honest angel. Nope. I am neither honest nor angel. And if your kid has a fake description of you, then believe me, nothing eats you more than that.
I don't know but maybe John noticed my buzz killed mood. I hate it so much that I have to show myself like this to him and my kids. Especially my kids! They look upto me! And that's the thing! They look upto me and I certainly cannot continue this! I have to put an end to it. If John really loves me; which he does, he would for sure accept me for whoever I am and my daughters are just kids. They would learn to live with me too. But if I am going to live like this; the way I am, I should at least tell my mom I am going to do so. I made a promise to her after all.
John has went somewhere so I wouldn't have to answer why I am visiting my parents. But it is weird that he would go somewhere on a Sunday. This is the day he solely gave to his family. Anyway I called over Merry to babysit the kids. I kissed them on the head and reminded them I loved them. I ignited the car and started driving. I played some songs; rock songs loudly. As to celebrate the beginning of my life and no fear of what people in my neighborhood would think. I parked in front of my parent's house and turned off the music. With a bright smile on my face, I ringed the bell.
My mother must've heard the music and so it could explain the little frown she had on her face with a smile when she opened the door. However the frown disappeared as soon as she greeted me.
"Oh, hi!(gives me a hug) Come in!"
I got in and she closed the door behind me. "So what are you doing here?"
"I actually came here to talk. You might want to sit." I answered and sort of informed as well as cautioned.
She might've understood the reason. She formed a serious and nervous face as soon as I answered her. She sat at one of her sofas in front of TV and I sat beside her.
"Where's dad?"
"You know how your dad is! Spends his Sunday with his friends drinking beers and playing poker." She sort of stated.
A couple of minutes passed by in silence when she finally asked nervously,
"So.. what did you wanna talk about?"
I took a deep breath before replying, "Mom. I cannot take this anymore. I can't run away from myself anymore. I cannot keep this fake act in front of John or my kids anymore. I thought this would be easy but it isn't. And how it should be? I am avoiding myself and trying to be someone everyone wants. You tell me, mom. Parents are supposed to support their kids no matter how they are and how they decide to live. Especially a mother. But you just made me promise to not live how I want! Why would you do that?"
Mom held my hand and answered, "I did what I did because I wanted you to live a normal life."
*I love you, and I hate it*
Eric
Things got pretty well between me and Brian that night. We talked about our interest and our job. He owned the club when I was busy fucking myself with dildos. He was single, to my surprise because you don't see such a fine gentleman being single at his age. And he was a gentleman, Alright. He even paid for my drink. He listened to everything I said attentively and so did I. I talked usually more than I do with the guys I fuck. I don't know why but I just talked to him as much as my heart content. I had so much fun talking to him and I guess so did he. His constant pleasant grin sort of proved he did.
And of course we fucked.
He fucked me and I would just like to say that this guy is perfect. Long dick, great body; a little hairy which I like and splendid at the sex part. When we kissed, I never felt anything so satisfying and complete. When he bit my lower lip, man did I moan! And he did sex as I wanted. As I was begging to have for so long! The one with the eight stages. We did every stage and man did it rock! We sort of knew what to do before doing anything. I guess we just clicked.
The next morning, I found myself alone in my bed. I was almost convinced that Brian wasn't a gentleman when I got this sweet smell of pancakes.
Oh no, he didn't!
He came inside the room with two plates of pancake in his hands. I wasn't okay with this. The routine would be like club-little chat-sex-sleep-goodbye. But never has someone prepared a meal for me. And that to something which smelled so great. Brown pancakes with maple syrup. It was a great and browny stack and it looked so appealing. Before I could say anything, he got up and went out. Why would he ghost on me? Before I could conclude anything, he came in again with two cups of coffee.
"Thanks." I muttered.
"My pleasure." He said with a cute grin. Who looks cute in morning? He does!
We gave each other a smile and ate our meal. It was outstanding!!
While I was washing dishes, he was showering. Oh, yes. We had sex at my place since it was closer to the club. I had proposed to him to do it in his cabin, but he refused saying it won't be appropriate. He is a gentleman, okay.
This all seemed very nice. I mean, eating breakfast together after sharing such a beautiful night, then one washing dishes while other having a shower is kind of okay. But preparing the breakfast and being all charming about it was nice. Too nice. And as I've said, in my life there isn't anything nice. And I know I am being such an asshole because he is so nice and caring and seems interesting in me but I cannot let this happen. I am too scared for it. I don't want to do anything which will cause a wreck in the future.
While I was figuring out what would I wear for work, he came to me all dressed as yesterday in his black shirt tucked in black jeans. His first one or two buttons were open which revealed his hairy chest. So sexy!!!
He wasn't making this any easy on me. He asked me my number and I; deciding upon not taking this any further, told him,
"Look Brian. I don't do this." I managed to say without looking at those sexy broad chests.
"What?" Brian seems innocently confused. How do I know you say. Well he had his innocent smile, that's how I know. His smile seems so appealing and kissable!
Ugh!!!!!
I took a deep breath and replied,
"I only do sex. But you preparing breakfast and asking for my number.. is just out of my expertise. I don't do any of these things."
Brian seemed to get that since his innocent smile switched to complete dull and heartbroken smile,
"I get it." For a second there his lips quivered a little bit then he resumed putting up with that smile. That sad smile. I hated myself to do this but I had to do it. He didn't say anything else. Just nodded a little and went out. And so that happened.
It wasn't like something like this happened for the first time. Oh, no. There have been a number of men asking me for my number. And I have turned down every single one of them. But it didn't feel as wrong and difficult than this one. No, never seemed even a little wrong or difficult. Doing this with Brian not only broke him but somewhere broke me too. And I'll be honest, I have never felt so shitty after rejecting someone. But why now? Was it because of his disheartening smile? Or that he didn't say anything after that? This feeling will go away eventually, don't worry Eric.
It's been a week since the thing happened between me and Brian and this feeling hasn't gone yet. I still feel sad and gloomy that I rejected such a fine man. Moreover, I neither feel like going to the club nor having sex with any man. Seriously this whole thing has fucked me down. But I don't know why. I mean I was fully on board with rejecting him but now why slight feeling of regret in me? Why me, of all people was considering settling with someone? I am hating this!
It was Sunday and I was doing what everyone does when they are sad and gloomy. At least the grown ups. In my pajamas, I was eating ice cream and watching Netflix.
How can you not hate Lara Jean? I mean that girl chose Peter and not John! I mean come on! I know you love Peter and that he is him. But John is so much better than Peter. He knows Lara Jean for longer than Peter does and it isn't like they fight which is the only thing Peter and Lara Jean does. But still she chose Peter. He can't even smile! But she took a risk and chose Peter. Maybe she felt that with Peter, everything was new and much more fun. She trusted her heart. And sometimes that's the only thing you could do. Right?
While I was mind-reviewing To All the Boys 2, I heard someone ringing my doorbell. I got excited. Maybe it's.... And I am in my jammies! I checked myself in mirror and I was complete mess! I waved a hand through my hair and settled them. I took a deep breath and opened the door. IT WAS JOHN!!!! No Brian.... But why was I expecting him? It's not like I gave him any indication that I will regret turning him down. And he might have found someone else.
I welcomed John in and found that he was more perplexed than he usually is. He gave a look at the TV and he grinned, "To All the Boys? Seriously?"
I mentally scolded myself for not putting that thing off. What if Brian had seen me watching this?
Sh! No Brian!
"And I am fine too. Thanks for asking." I tried to avoid answering his question.
And then he noticed the ice cream bucket I had been eating. I didn't put that away too! But this time John didn't grinned. Instead he frowned,
"Are you okay?"
I shrugged and frowned while giving him a smile, "Obviously!" My voice may have pitched a little high.
John came to me closely and looked me in the eyes. As if looking deep in my soul. He then sat on the sofa where I was sitting and patted beside him. I sighed and sat beside him.
"What's going on?" He asked seriously.
"Nothing. I am completely fine!"
"The last time you were this fine when Tom Hardy rejected your proposal to prom. So what happened? You are seriously not okay, dude."
I gave up. It was our curse to know when one of us not okay.
I gave him a sad smile and asked,
"Is it that obvious?"
Then when he asked me again, I ended up telling him everything about Brian. He seemed to like him.
"Oh dude, you are finally falling for someone!" He shouted.
I chuckled at his amusement and just added, "Yeah but I don't think I am gonna do anything about it."
He frowned and asked me just like anyone would, "What?! Why?"
I shrugged and replied, "I am not up for relationships. I don't do those, you know this!"
"Well it's very stupid of you to reject someone so good just because you don't do relationships!" He furiously said. "And why is it that you don't?"
I begged God to not do this now but I knew if John is curious about something, he does everything to know about it. He won't give up this.
But I can try right?
"Just I don't okay?"
"No it isn't okay. Such a great person is interested in you and you don't do anything about it! Well that's just way over stupidity! I know you will regret making this decision and I am not gonna just sit and not do anything. So will you please just tell me why you don't do relationships so we can realise how stupid it was?"
I looked at him who seemed genuinely concerned and decided to tell him. He's my best friend and he's had enough of being out of loop.
"Back when we were in high school, you remember I used to take other people's dogs for walk as a part time job. So there was a gay couple who asked me to take care of their dog. So I took care of it and everything was normal. When I went back to return the dog, they paid me and insisted for a glass of water. You know how naive I was so I nodded. I got in and sat at the sofa in the living area beside a man; though maintaining a safe distance when they offered. The guy I thought was curious so he asked me questions about school and all. One of his questions were,
'How old are you?'
I was about to answer when the other guy with a glass of juice in his hand interrupted while coming towards us.
'Oh, come on he's seventeen. It was mentioned in his advertisement!'
He offered me the glass and sat to the other empty side of me.
The other guy made a face as if he heard the thing first time. Like utter confusion. But he changed his face and smiled, 'So you play sports?'
I shook my head at that. Then the other guy who offered me juice spoke,
'I know you and I agreed on water but I had to offer you something more than just water since you took care of our dog. We know he can be a serious case sometimes.'
I sipped the juice, laughed and said,
'No seriously I had no trouble with him.'
I took another short sip. They seemed nice. Too nice.
The one guy who was already sitting on the sofa got a little closer and that's when started things going a little weird. I noticed they were keep looking at my dick once or twice a minute. And they both had that creepy grin on their faces. Moreover the one who offered me juice placed his hand on my lap and asked,
'Your parents aren't expecting you any time soon, are they?'
I at that instant realised where this was heading. So I got up; not finishing my juice and got out as soon as I can and started running."
I looked at John who was just listening everything with a serious face.
"I managed to hear the quarrel arose between the men while I was around the house. They were blaming each other for this. But the thing which shook me completely was what the guy who offered me juice shouted,
'Because I am bored of your fucking ass and you!' to which the other guy replied in shout,
'I am too! But I didn't call up a kid to fuck!'
And that was the last thing I heard.
After 2 or 3 minutes of running, my mind started feeling dizzy. I thought it was an effect of running but it reached to a level where I couldn't blink properly. Luckily there was a restaurant nearby. So I got in and sat on a table at the corner and quickly called my mom. My vision was blurry but I managed to call her. She thankfully picked up the call real soon and I asked her to come pick me up. Before she could say anything, I dozed off."
There was a complete silence spread in the environment. And I was hating it. I could understand why he could be silent. It would be totally understandable if he is speechless. But I wanted him to say something. Anything. I didn't tell him this to go blank on me.
"Is that why you didn't come school for a week?" He asked in a low voice. I nodded.
"But you said you had rabies and that you had to get a shot."
I laughed a little and answered,
"Well, I did get a shot." I tried to make a joke and clear the awkwardness spread in the air. But I couldn't even clear my eyes away from tears.
"Does your parents know?...." He asked.
"No. You are the first one." I said while sniffling. "They were really supportive when I was skipping school without giving them any reason for it."
John scooted a little closer and held my hand, "I don't even know what to say because I haven't been where you have. I thought you have been living an easy and simple life but no. I am so sorry Eric. But why didn't you tell me any of this before?"
"The same reason why I haven't tell anyone. I wanted to forget about all of this. But it has clearly made a dent in my life. It has fucked me over.(John nods) I don't want to marry some guy and get bored of him and to keep my excitement alive, fuck someone else without their consent. I really don't want any other kid to feel like I did. And I don't want to reach at a point where I'd be so miserable and desperate to drug someone and fuck him."
"Eric, not everyone's destiny is same. It isn't written or destined that you will live the same life as those perverts did! And I don't think Brian or anyone's gonna be bored of you. I haven't!" John spoke.
"But it's not others I am worried about. I am worried about myself that I will get bored and do something I will regret." I stated.
"Eric, you whatever happens won't do something stupid because you aren't stupid! I know tension and stress and other aspects of real life can mess you up pretty bad but you have always managed to save me from shit so it isn't possible that you could do anything stupid."
"But still I don't want to mess up Brian's life. He is such a kind person, he deserves every happiness in the world."
"See. You feel that for him so you won't do anything bad to him. And by seeing him, you may give him every happiness in this world. Eric, this one is a nice one, don't leave this."
Wow. John is too good at pep talk. He knows what to say. My whole belief of life has just suddenly transformed by him. I no longer feel scared to build something beautiful with someone per se Brian. That thing with those perverts has been done ages ago and I do have turned out to be someone who shouldn't be affecting still by this. But this DOES NOT change the fact that I am not afraid to face Brian. I just rejected him in his face. But I must find the courage in me to face him. I guess I want him... Yikes!!!! No. I need him.
This had gone very conversational and less fun so I asked something I wanted to ask for so long.
"What got into you the day I was buying dildos?"
His face changed to complete nervous. He blinked several times and tried to say something but shut himself up.
"That was awkward and weird!"
I nodded with a grin on my face; not believing the answer he just had said. And that was what I was doing. Just nodding with a grin. Knowing that it will work. And it did! I could see the nerves on his temples as he was furrowing his brows.
"Okay!" He shouted."What happened to me was that I freaked out. Because....umm..."
He started to get a lot weird. He neither could speak nor could look at me.
I chuckled and asked,
"What is with you John? Never seen you so um.. speechless or embarrassed."
He looked at me and began to say something,
"I fainted because I kinda wished I with him and not you." I gave him a confusing look. And so he scratched the nape of his neck and spoke,
"When I found you being fucked by the guy, I didn't faint because I was shocked. For a second, I wished that it would be me being fucked by the guy and not you. Which was out of my comprehension level so I fainted by it. Not by you..." He finally looked at me for more than three seconds.
Now this was out of my comprehension level. John wished to be fucked by a guy?? I mean seriously? Never have I ever thought John to be ga.. curious at this!!
He nervously laughed at me and said,
"Say something!!"
What should I say?
"Okay...." Okay??
"Okay?"
"I mean can't say I am not surprised. I am. But this doesn't matter whether I am surprised or not. This matters as to whether you think does it means something?"
He shrugged and I was liking this but also not liking it.
"Maybe..."
Oh, my! He is confused! This is not good! You should be either sure that you are not are. But maybe is just dangerous. But the way he said it felt something. And so I asked it,
"John, are you seeing someone.. of your own sex?"
"Not.. yet...."
My friend is in need! And so it is my duty to set aside my confusion and help him. I mean he just did the same for me a minute ago.
"What is his name?"
"Christopher Marnin." He replied sheepishly with a blush.
That name is awesome, period!
"So are you interested in this Marnin guy?"
"Eric, I felt kissing those lips the first time I saw them, my palms sweated when he went for a handshake, and I was unable to speak to him."
"That....seems normal..."
"And I felt lustrous at his kindness." He added.
And who I was kidding? I understood the shit's real when he said he wished to kiss the lips.
"Okay. So what are you gonna do about it?" I asked.
"I mean he did ask me to hang out with him. Gave me where he works. But I seriously think he wants to talk about her daughter to whom I teach but hope that he doesn't."
He seriously needed to clear this out. And I cannot do anything about it. Whatever has to happen, he has to make it happen by himself.
"So what do you think? Are you gonna take a visit to him?"
"I mean I want to. But I keep getting reminded of my family...."
I stopped him there,
"Okay hold on! This is not the time to think about your family. Now you have gotta do what your heart wants. The only thing I have learned from these teenage dramas is that you should follow your heart otherwise thing get pretty messed up later for you and everyone around you. So do this now for you and them. Otherwise if this is not settled, things will go crazy later on and much worse for everyone. So it's better to do something now."
My speech could only make him nod at me. It was pretty deep.
"I will do something about it. But you will too do something about Brian."
And now it was time to only nod.
*I like who I like*
Adery
My name is Adery. I am twelve years old. I am in 6th grade with my twin sister Avery Brown. Oh, apologies. My name is Adery Brown. Avery's effect is rubbing on me. In my family, there is me, Avery, my hero dad John Brown and my beautiful mom Katherine Brown. I don't know anything besides studying. Maybe that's why I ace in every subject.
I am sure no one else gave you an introduction like this. Not even my father. But I won't judge him. Things are maybe going bad for him because he was so stressed in these few days. But now, he seems happy and very pleased. Pleased since the time I hurt my ankle and our visit to that doctor. But mom has been very sad since this Sunday. I have asked her for several times but she says everything's fine. I don't believe her but she is my mom and I know her. If anything's bothering her, she will take care of it.
I don't know whether everyone has told you about their problems but I know I will. As the topper in every subject, I have my own enemies. People i.e. Avery call them bullies but that word is just too mean. So they are just Ben and his friends. They tease me in every way possible. And being a topper isn't easy. Because as much as I love studying, I also hate that I have nothing else to do. I stutter at words when I am nervous. My case is like Bill from IT. Yep I watched IT. Avery made me watch it. I didn't like it. Not because it was scary and terrifying. But because it can never be real. So yeah I have problem in speaking when I am nervous. That's also one of the reasons why Ben tease me. And who could forget the fact that I like my own bully Ben!
Now I know it is not my age to whether decide I like someone or not. But I am smart enough to do so. Plus I am sure if I love daddy 100%, then I reciprocate the same feelings by at least 20%. And I know it is very foolish of me to like my own enemy. I am sure he doesn't like me back but try telling my heart that please! And Ben looks good too. I mean not as good as Harry Kal who is I think the cutest looking male in our school. But Ben is no bad too. I mean sure he is very mean but I don't know why and how my heart feels these stuff.
I am no fan of those Disney movies which says "Forever and Ever" which is highly impossible but I do really hope that Ben and I get an ending like those movies.
But lately Ben has just been too mean. He makes fun of my stuttering problem. That was okay but he makes fun of my name too? I know Adery is an unusual name and my parents used the name so that they can make it rhyme with Avery but that doesn't help the fact that it is teasable. I wanted to be strong so that Avery wouldn't do anything. But in the class, I couldn't take it anymore and I just bursted out. And by that I cried. To make matters worse, I cried in front of Avery. That means she is now going to do everything to make Ben's life hell. And I just cannot change her mind. Once she sets her mind on something related to me, she doesn't rest until she gets it. I really wished to take this longer but I just couldn't. And now I know Ben's gonna be tortured and I'll be tortured to even think about it.
Here I am going to school the next day with Avery by my side to keep me safe from Ben. If Ben does anything, he will face it's consequences by himself. So I should be ready to see him getting hurt. But he hurt me so he should too be hurt right? Right? Anyone?
To my surprise, neither Ben nor his friends have tried to tease me yet. I mean it's third class and they still haven't done anything. They didn't even look at me or Avery. This was very new and we both were confuse as to what was happening. But the good thing is I won't be seeing Ben in tears. Avery seemed to be hating this. She may have finally got a chance to get back at Ben but he wasn't giving her a chance.
Bell rung for the last class and we all exit from our classroom. While me and Avery were waiting for mom to pick us up, I heard someone calling me. We turned to see it was Ben but not with his mischievous smirk. He seemed in remorse.
Avery stepped forward and said,
"Oh, finally you showed up. I was beginning to think that you changed or something."
Ben looked down and said in a low voice, "I did."
I heard it but maybe Avery didn't so she gave a "What?"
"Yesterday, when I saw you crying over that note, I felt really bad. You always took it so lightly that I never thought that it was hurting you. But yesterday showed that it was. I never wanted you to cry. Over something I did. And I don't despise your stuttering. I find it rather cute. I guess I was just being like that because I am extremely jealous of you. And fond of you...." He barely spoke that last part. But it was audible and clear enough for us to hear. He was fond of me?? Meaning he liked me? I was leaping in joy after hearing this but Avery seemed to take this not well, "You are fond of her? And you think we will buy this? You make my sister's life hell and you think we'll let you off by believing you are truely soft on Adery. Nope. This is not over, you get it?"
I tried to make her calm,
"Aves, calm down. Okay, he is sorry!"
Adery gave me a sharp look and asked,
"Is he sorry?"
I replied instantly,
"He is sorry! Are you not sorry?"
I asked him.
"I am sorry." He replied convincingly.
"See. He is sorry." I said to Avery who looked both at me and him.
"No! He was bullying you for so long! I won't let this go so easily." Avery stated.
"Aves, let it go!" I demanded.
"Why are so stubborn on letting this go? Why are you not angry?"
She asked me this question to which I can only go speechless. I looked at Ben who was looking at us. I tried to say something but I wasn't sure what to say.
Avery's face turned to complete shock and furious,
"Do you like him Adery?"
I couldn't answer anything. I mean I cannot say I don't. But at the same time, he is here so I cannot say that I do. But I should say something because it is Avery we are talking about. She can be real scary. And I could see she was going to her scary stage. I just had to say something. By the way I have totally forgotten about Ben.
Then mom came to the rescue to pick us up and hence this was avoided for now. While Avery was walking ahead of me; furiously, I gave a quick glance at Ben who was giving me a cute smile. Oh, my!!
I as soon as entered the house, went in my room in a hurry put my backpack on the bed, grabbed the towel and a fresh pair of clothes. And just when Avery entered the room, I got out of there and went for a bath. I was trying to completely avoid Avery as much as possible. I don't want to face her. I decided that I would after this, help my mother in her work, where Avery; due to her disgust in kitchen duties won't interfere, after that I will secretly go to the park and study. And then when things would be easy and normal, I will face her.
Just then Avery entered in the bathroom and locked the door. I didn't lock it... There goes away my whole plan.
"Are you going to answer my question?" She asked with a bold expression.
"What question would that be?" I tried to act stupid.
"Please cut it out Ades. You acting stupid answers the question. My new question is why him?"
I surrendered and shrugged,
"I don't know. I have asked myself the same question so many times. And every time I get no answer. I cannot understand why I like Ben. He's been nothing but cruel and rude to me. So why do I feel for him? I don't know! So Aves I can't answer this." I honestly replied.
She gave me an understanding face and nodded,
"Who knows the wonders of heart, right?"
I replied while nodding,
"Right."
"Sorry about this" She said and left.
*Hanging by his smile*
Kristopher
When I heard that I have an appointment with a certain someone named Mr. Brown, I don't know why but I had a gut feeling it would be that cute teacher. What was his name? John, yeah! It's been a month since I have met him and still can't forget his beautiful face and his smile. Oh, I would do anything to see that smile.
In any other day, the time goes by so quickly but today, time was just dreading to pass away. And as you could expect, I had a less number of patients coming in today. Why did every other child out there had to be safe? Why can't they be childish, get hurt and come to me so that my time could pass away?
I am being very selfish and mean....
This is the first guy to make me so desperate for someone. I have always played with other men and maybe they have felt like this for me but I haven't anytime before. This is the first guy I am dying to meet. And see. And maybe if I am lucky, I can spend the rest of the day with him so i decide to cancel anything I have after him. I have never took anything seriously. But this one seemed to be important. This one seemed to be special.
As I was cancelling everything I had after him, I heard someone tried get my attention. With great hopes, I turned to see that beautiful, holy guy. Smiling at me. There you are. Where were you? My heart was aching to meet you.
"It's you! Well, hi." I greeted with the widest; but I hope cute grin.
He waved and said with a huge smile.
"Hi! I just got to know that your name is Kristopher with a K!"
He had a huge smile. For me? Or maybe he's just being nice... Maybe that's the one. He is being nice.
I HOPE NOT!!
"A lot of people do get confused and think it is with "Ch". You are not the first one at this." I informed.
You are first at something else, you know.
Then he looked outside, but down and motioned someone to come in. Then two small twin girls came in. I was disappointed a little. I thought he made an excuse of a twisted ankle just to meet me but this rather seemed real. And the reason why he is here. And to be honest that was something I'd do, not him....
But he was still here and he seemed quite pleasant too. So I guess he too wanted to see me. Yup, I am gonna go with this.
His daughters' names are Avery and Adery. I never heard of an 'Adery'. I guess they chose it to rhyme with Avery. But it's a cute name anyways. Unusual, but cute. She was kind and humble too. Just like her father. I did what I had to do with the twisted ankle. It must've pained her but she took it courageously. The entire time I noticed Avery didn't leave Adery's side. I noticed while I was working on her ankle, she held John's hand tightly. I envy him. And I want him.
Now don't you think I am liking all of this. Nope. I have always been one of those guys whose life is centred upon one night stands like Brian in Queer as Folk. And believe me, I have been completely happy with fucking random guys. I like being not too attached or rather detached from people. They mind their own business and so do I. But since I have seen this guy, my god have wanted anything else! No! I don't want anything else. I have fucked several guys since we last met and I never felt that spark which I experience whenever I see him or think about him. And it's not just lust. If it would've been lust, I wouldn't mind it. But my heart wants to spent every little time with him. I am not liking this!!! But I like him.
The entire time John; I think I can call him John. He must've thought of me by my name also from the start. Like I did. So the entire time, we talked and he laughed. I have never seen anything more beautiful than him being cheerful. I think cupid's arrow got deeper at my heart whenever he laughed and I felt so proud that I was, in any manner the reason of his laugh. Now I don't take anything seriously. I am one of those guys. But this was so serious and real. I really wanted him to like me.
"Can I call you by your name?" He all of a sudden asked.
I was speechless. I couldn't spoke out a single word. Not even No or Yes.
So I nodded. Eep!!
When my work was done, Avery and Adery started talking among themselves. And then John got a little closer to me.
"So, I kind of thinking about your idea." He said. "I kind of wanna hang with you too."
Was this really happening????
"So are you free now?"
Oh, my!
"Ye---Yeah. I am um...free now." I replied scratching the back of my neck.
"Good. So I was wondering if we hang out after I drop off the kids?" He wondered.
Again, I could only nod.
"Sweet.(He grinned) Amity Park at half an hour?"
I COULD ONLY NOD!! But why....
"See you." He said.
I showed my teeth; in trying to smile. He laughed. So that was not a total lost case... Hehe....
Okay, you can never guess how long this half hour was. You just cannot. I was anticipated every second. Amity Park was just a minute in distance from here so I was waiting in my cabin. But time being slower than snail wasn't the only thing I was worried about. He asked me out. So he must be expecting so much from me. And I have totally no idea what to talk about. Maybe we should just talk about life and how it treated us. NOPE! That is just a boring topic to talk about on a first date. Then what should I talk about then? I should let him talk only. Yep. That would do. But won't he find it weird?
Why am I being so nervous. I'll go with the flow. What happen will happen.
---At night---
It went better than I thought. Actually I don't think I had such a good time in a long time. And talking wasn't the hard part. We talked naturally. Turns out, we have a lot in common and we have same taste in almost everything. And in something we don't, we'd argue a little about that. Of course, I let him win every single one of them. The hard part was to not kiss those lips. They were so cute and perfect on his face. And when he blushed every single time our hands touched, Oh! I think we both had a pretty well time. Because the smile never left his face and neither did mine. And we both agreed on having other dates.
---On Second Date---
We decided to not choose a specific place to hang out now. We decided to just roam on the streets. And eat street food by completely ignoring of the fats it prospers. Because sometimes you should do what your heart desires, right? And I was so happy John was doing something his heart wanted. And I guess I was following my heart too. No. I am sure I was following my heart. Because I have never been so happy ever. I feel in content when I am with him.
He bought a chocolate ice cream while I bought vanilla. Two very different tastes but combination is tasty as fuck. Speaking of which, I was dying to be fucked by him. Yes. I wanted to be fucked by him. I always fuck everyone but I desired to be fucked by someone. But we haven't even kissed yet. And it's killing me.
We sat at a bench; rather closely and just kept quiet.
"Your daughter is an extraordinary student." He said.
Oh, he brought her...
I nodded.
"Yeah. Everyone calls her as Stephen Hawking's daughter. They don't tease her but...."
He must've noticed my gloomy face otherwise there was no other explanation for him to stop so abruptly.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Nothing." I whispered looking down.
He held my hand and said,
"Hey, talk to me."
I sobbed.
"I really love her."
He must've misunderstood the word 'her' so he stood back a little.
I giggled at this.
"I meant Linda."
"Oh." His frown vanished.
I decided to tell him.
"I was frustrated. It was out that I liked men so our divorce was on it's final stages. The custody of Linda was remaining. And back then, I was closer to her than her mom. So I was going to win her custody.(he nodded) So one day I got a call from my parents. They were trying for the divorce to not happen. They didn't at all considered that it was something which would be good for all of us. They were constantly saying to cancel this. Actually my dad was saying. My mom was just humming on dad's words. I got so irritated that I shouted, "I like men, dad!!"
Then my dad said that I should behave more proudworthy. I got so angry that I hung up the call.(he rubbed the back of my palm with his thumb; still holding that hand) My bond with my dad was so strong. We used to do everything together. Fishing, hiking and what not. But ever since they knew about my sexuality, he's acting so estranged. Boiling in my own anger, I lost control of my mind and lashed everything on linda; slapped her. Poor girl just came to choose what should she wear for her friend's birthday party. She must've called me several times repeatedly, so I got irritated. However due to this, her mom won the custody and me and Linda just fell apart.
That day on that parents meeting, I wasn't going to come. Her mother was going to come. She got busy, called me and I came. That why we were late.(sniffled) I love Linda so much. And I know it was my fault and everything but I regret it so much. We can't even look at each other. She's my everything and I have completely wrecked it. When she was gone; the only thing I took seriously with responsibility, I stopped taking things seriously.(looked at him) You are the first thing I have taken seriously since that. You're special.(shredded a tear) John, I like you so much. Maybe love you. You are important." I let out everything.
He smiled and gave me.... a kiss. The feeling of his lips on mine made my heartbeat 100 km/s. It felt so warm. It felt so light. It felt so lovable. But most of all, it felt right.
After the kiss, I had to ask.
"What about your family?"
He looked at me with shining eyes and I knew nothing bad was going to happen.
"They'd understand."
Oh, I love this guy!!!
*Normal*
Katherine
"Normal life?" I couldn't understand. She wanted me to live a normal life but I this life I am living is nowhere near normal! She wanted me to live a normal or an ideal life? How can she make out the life I want to live. We should live our lives as want. I was now drowned in my own anger.
"Mom, I was raped by my own uncle! The same one who I was so fond of! And not once, but repeatedly. Whenever we'd go to his house over weekend, he'd just cover my mouth and do stuff! I told you so many times to not go or not invite them. But you did."
"Sweety, don't...." She tried to calm me but I shut her off.
"No! He'd knock me out sometime or sometimes force me. I was a little girl! I told you both. But you didn't do anything. Why didn't you do anything?(she was speechless) As parents, it was your job, it was your duty to save me. Protect me but you didn't do any of those! You just told me to just be quiet and told me to that this will pass? Pass??!! And then you tell me to live a normal life?
What is normal?
AN:- This is going to be a monologue from Katherine. So here's what's gonna happen. What's written in bracket would be for you to imagine and think of it as playing in background while reading Katherine's lines written not in brackets.
(Eric dressed up walking on the footpath. Looking nervous.)
We think normal is an ideal life but it isn't.
(Avery and Adery looking at each other in car. Heading to school.)
For some, normal is different.
(John and Kristopher walking holding hands. Intertwined fingers.)
What normal is for you can be abnormal for others.
(Eric standing in front of someone. It is revealed that it is Brian in his cabin. Brian seems confused.)
And for them that abnormal is normal.
(John trying to let go of Kristopher's embrace but Kristopher isn't letting him.)
And sometimes, you won't find your normal from start. You'd take time but eventually, it will come to you.
(Avery and Adery walking in hall. Adery blushes when she passes by Ben who too gives her a smile.)
But that doesn't mean someone should make out your life.
(Eric holds Brian's waist and kisses him deeply.)
Normal is simple.
(John and Kristopher talking on phone. John laughing while Kristopher smiling lovingly.)
Normal is what makes you happy.
(Avery, Adery sitting beside each other in class. Ben joins them by sitting beside Adery to which Avery approves by doing nothing.)
That's what normal is.
And we should live our life as we want. Anyway we want. I know I made a promise to you. That I would live my life as you want. But I cannot mom. I cannot. It's started to pain me. I cannot breathe. I have so much anger on uncle that I hate every man."
"We couldn't support you because you know why. Your father works for the same company your uncle owns. And if we had done anything against your uncle, then your father would've lost his job. And we couldn't afford two non-working parents to raise you." She explained herself.
"Well I am no longer a kid. I am gonna live my life as I want now." I stated boldly.
"You do what you want. But hear this out, sweetie. If you go all around doing rallies and protests against men, you think will your relations with your friends would be the same? Will you'll have the same respect and love from everyone then too? Won't Avery and Adery suffer? They'll be taunted by others. Given how John is and how has he fallen in love with this you, do you think he will love you if you go being wild? And most importantly, if you leave your job, will John who just teaches high schoolers will afford Avery and Adery." She asked.
She bombarded on me with so many questions. But it isn't like I misheard any one of them. No. I heard every single one of them and was blank. I seriously had no answer for any of those questions.
Driving back to house, I was constantly thinking of what I could do. I seriously wanted to live my life as I wanted because I have tried to be the perfect woman but I cannot forget my past. And it isn't something to be forgotten about. If I can join support group and help people who have gone through what I have so I would wanna do that. But mom's each question stands tall in front of me. What should I do? Should I follow my desire, or live for my family?
Right now I just need time to think.
*A change of heart*
Eric
I thought of so many things to say to him but when I saw him and those eyes, my heart could only sink and get a deep feeling of smashing those lips with mine. And his confused look didn't help. Oh my, his eyes; cute daunting eyes were staring at me with so much innocence. I just had to kiss him. You know, like had to kiss him. And he didn't refuse back. So green flag!!
I let go of his lips and whispered,
"I had a change of heart."
He smiled joyfully and asked,
"Was I the reason?"
He knew the answer but still he asked this. Oh, this guy kills me!
"You are the sole reason for it."
He smiled.
"Actually no, some other guy helped me too."
He backed a little looking slightly confused and nervous. I chuckled and put my arms around the back of his neck,
"He's my best friend, John. He made me realise my feelings for you. Don't worry." I nudged his nose with mine.
He let out a reliving sigh and spoke with eyes closed,
"Eric, I am mad for you. I don't want to spook you out but if you were scared of me hurting you, I will never."
I kissed his forehead which I am pretty sure he didn't expect. Obviously I am gonna be the one to be kissed on the forehead.
"Now I know.(he giggles) And I will too never."
Oh, this is real. I, who swore to live with just one night stands, who was sure his life is just based on random fucks every night, was going to be a part of a relationship with someone. But he is worth it. Brian Kole, you are worth taking the risk. And now when I am kissing you, I am sure you are the best decision I ever made and sure that you will be the best decision in the near future too.
*Everything's great.*
Adery
Days after he confessed that he is fond of me, he sat beside us. I was happy but wasn't sure if Avery was going to take it okay. I looked at her and she had a stoic face. Perhaps she really did accept the fact that I like Ben unconditionally. And that Ben changed too. The entire time I was afraid that Ben's friends would make fun of him to sit on the first bench with me but after class, they all seemed to be just fine. Maybe they too weren't as bad as I thought.
Days passed and Ben and I started talking. Well most of the time only I would talk and he'd listen. Just listen. I never took Ben for a listener. This one time while debating on which Avenger was better, our hands touched and we both shyed. For a minute, we couldn't even look at each other properly. Avery who was sitting to the other side of me, seemed to be enjoying this. Her snicker was evident. Avery is laughing and enjoying this while my ears almost burned themselves from being so hot.
Today, I don't know why Avery was smiling. I mean constantly smiling. It felt creepy. Creepier than Pennywise. Who am I kidding, without his teeth or whatever that was, he wasn't scary a bit. But Avery smiling for absolutely no reason was scary, okay! I tried asking her but she just ignored it. In class, Ben came to sit beside me as he's doing in these days. But the change was that he looked nervous. Usually he'd have that smile on his face which would make me smile; irrespective of the mood I am in.
This was highly inappropriate. Avery was smiling and Ben was nervous. I thought my mind would escape out from Avery's constant smile when Been would show up. Who'd know I would be feeling worse? I asked why he was nervous but he gave a rather odd answer, "Give me some time." At this, Avery snickered.
"Okay." Ben turned to me saying this. "Adery? (I looked at him confusedly) Will you go out with me?"
I chuckled, "That's what you were nervous about?(he nodded) Yes?"
He let out a relieved breath and said, "God, I was thinking of what to say. But I decided to go with the simple one. And it worked.(I nodded) So we're going out!"
This just hit me. I was going out with him. With Ben Willower! The same Ben who I dreamed about. I mean..... this is just..... Uhmm!
I could only nod. And now when I think of it, I may know why Avery was smiling.
"Did you know about this?" I asked to her.
She asked to me,
"Know what?"
"The fact that Ben asked me out."
She raised her eyebrows and gasped,
"He did! Well first, congratulations and second I had no idea."
I decided to let her think I was buying her lie and let her celebrate her victory. But I know she knew this the entire time. And by not raising anything, she indicated she was okay with it. So here's the thing. The problem with Ben and his friends is no longer alive since Ben is friends with me and so is his friends. The problem of me doing nothing is also no more since I have got a boyfriend? Is he my boyfriend? Oh hell, since I have got Ben. So I'll probably have something to do besides just studying. My stuttering problem was a problem because I found people hating it. But now when I think of it, Ben was the only one hating it. And since now, he finds it cute so I don't consider my stuttering as a problem anymore. And problem of me liking Ben is also finished since he likes me too!! And WE ARE GOING OUT! So yeah, everything's fine.
Nope. Everything's great.
Avery
She knows I know. Of course she knows. She is the smart one remember? Poor guy took my permission for asking Adery out. I guess he is still scared of me. I am glad Adery's dating him. I must say I started liking since the time he apologized to me. Have I told you about this? I don't think so.
This happened the next day since Ben confessed his feelings for Adery. It was lunch and Adery went to use the washroom. I was eating my lunch alone when he came and sat across me. I must confess, I didn't like it.
"What are you doing here? Adery's not here." I smacked.
"Yeah, um.... I actually wanted to talk to you." He said in a low voice.
"Me? What do you want to tell me?" I asked.
"That I am sorry." He said.
I thought why was he sorry to me. So I asked her,
"Sorry why to me?"
"I know how close Adery is to you. And I also know how much she means to you. I hurt her so I must've hurt you too. And for that I am sorry." He confessed.
He really was a nice guy. He didn't have to say sorry to me. But he did anyways and for that, I forgave him. Truly.
I was smiling because the guy asked for my permission. He was so relieved when I gave him my blessings but when I asked him about how he's going to ask her out, I could see the transformation of his face from joyous to completer terror slowly. I guess I was keep getting reminded of his terrified face. Seriously, guys are complete dorks.
But I am happy they are going together. I have never seen my sis so happy before. And finally she'll do something else than studying. And who knows, maybe she'll also get a little bit of bad grades because of this. And I'll enjoy that. Seeing them happy, I sometimes envy them. But who I am kidding? I am way too grown up to be having a teenage dramas. And those hysterical Disney dramas. I mean I will get into a relationship but not far away from now, that's for sure.
Ah, my headache won't stop! But other than that, everything's just great.
*Mysteries of heart*
John
Kristopher and I have been so great! We've gone to many dates. This has also caused my work to pile up. But he is worth it. We've had a ton of fun. We've only took us to kiss only. YES. We haven't had sex yet. I don't know why? Maybe we want it to be special. I want it to be special, I know.
On our last date, we decided that I should confront my family. Because it was time. And he was right. It's been so long we're going out behind my family's back. They have the right to know. And we have nothing to hide. Our heart wants what it wants right? We cannot ignore it. And who could deny the mysteries of heart. At one point, it wants something, and at other, it wants something else. But now I was sure, me and my heart both wanted this.
So tonight I was going to confront Katherine while and the next day, I would meet up with Kristopher at the beach at 4. I know Katherine loves me but I cannot keep her in the dark and have fun. As I was making my way to Katherine's room, I heard Avery calling me. I got in her room and didn't find Adery. Then I remembered that Adery has started going out with some Ben guy. I think the tables have completely turned between the two girls. Usually it would be Avery going out with friends and Adery studying in. But this was totally the opposite.
As I got closer to Avery, I realised she had a scared face. I sat beside her and asked, "What happened Avery?"
She showed me a bunch of hair strands in her hand.
She said in stuttering voice,
"I.... was combing my ha--hair and this got in my h---hand."
I took the strands and won't say I wasn't scared. But I cannot show this to her.
"Dad, I am scared....." She whispered.
"Avery, there's nothing to be afraid of!" I lied. "This is maybe some skin problem. We'll show this to the doctor, okay?(she nodded) Don't worry."
I kissed her head and was about to go when she held my hand,
"You won't leave me and go anywhere, would you?"
I don't know where this was coming but I shook my head.
"I am sorry for that. It's just that I need you now. As soon as I am sure it is nothing. And don't tell mom. I think she already has things to handle." I frowned at this but nodded.
"Take rest." I said and left the room.
Even if it is some skin problem, you don't loose your hair in a bunch the first time. This was something else. Something I wasn't hoping...
I entered in Katherine's room to first see what the things she is handling and second to tell her about Ave.... Kristopher! I found her laying on the side of bed and looking on the roof. I noticed a tear escaping his eye.
"Hey!" I called out.
She sat up and wiped away her tear,
"What's going on?" She asked.
"I should be asking you the same question!" I sat beside her.
"Nothing's going on with me!" She said with a smile.
"Then why are you crying?" I asked.
"It's nothing!" She answered.
"You remember what you said in your vow? That you would give me complete honesty. And it seems like you are breaking your vow. You don't break your vow! Tell me.(she still tried to refuse it) Come on Katherine. It's me."
Katherine looked at me and told me about her past. That she was repeatedly raped by her favourite uncle and that her parents didn't do anything. How she's living a life which she doesn't want. She broke out in front of me and I could just embrace her. I then told her she should live her life as she wants. I explained her that other people's love and respect shouldn't be in the way of living her life. And that other people isn't worth it. Avery and Adery if suffers, they'd have each other and they will be happy if their mother is living her life as she wants. And I told her that I would support her anyhow. And that we'd cut our expenses a little if we couldn't afford everything.
She smiled happily and said,
"Thanks, John. I love you." She hugs me.
Maybe telling her about me and Kristopher now wasn't a good idea. Maybe some other time.
Then Katherine said something which I really wished she wouldn't.
"We need you John. The kids want a father like you and I want a partner like you. Who supports us, loves us, and cares for us. We really need you."
---The next day---
Today was Saturday. I hate Saturday. I had no particular reason as to why but I just do. And today I found my reason.
I woke up early in the morning to check up for Avery in the hospital. I told everyone that I am just going to arcade with Avery. No one asked me why I was heading out so early. They didn't even think that arcade isn't open so early. It was 9 in morning. Adery asked to tag along but I told her that she already is hanging out enough with her new boyfriend Ben.
Wait, it hit me. Adery has a boyfriend now! Who is this Ben? I must meet him.
We visited a skin specialist and he did some test. He said that the results would be back at 3 so we decided to hit the other beach. But none of us had the the mood for playing in beach. We just sat there and talked about stuff, walked alongside wet sand and ate some food at McDonald's. Turns out Ben is Ben Willower and Avery speaks fond of him. But I still would meet up with him. It also turns out that Avery was having headache for many days. She ate medicines but still it didn't help. Skin disease won't cause headaches, would they?
The doctor had a stoic face. These doctors just have no emotion.
"There is no skin disease..."
Thank God! But.....
"But.... I would recommend your daughter to test for brain cancer."
We were sitting in my car. In back. We both couldn't say anything. We both were speechless. I held her hand and that's when she burst out in fit of sobbing and sniffling. She was crying a lot. I was trying to console her but even I was crying. But I controlled myself and tried to console Avery.
"I don't want to go, dad." She managed to say in her crying.
"Sh.... Don't say that! It's not even positive that you have cancer. And you aren't going anywhere. Come here.(embraced her) Sh... Don't worry. I am here."
We decided to tell everyone once it is tested positive. Which I hope not. I gave a kiss on Avery's forehead and dropped her at the house.
"Aren't you coming?" She asked.
"I have something to take care of."
I reached at the beach and to my surprise, it was empty. Well, except Kristopher who was standing; facing the sea. I joined him. He noticed my presence but didn't say anything.
I gulped down the lump in my neck and I managed to speak out,
"Kristopher, sorry but I can't....."
I tried to say that I cannot continue this because my family needs me now and they should be my first priority but he cut me off.
"Look. The sun's about to set." I saw the sunset and back to Kristopher. He had a tinge of disappointment and sadness in his eyes which caused him to furrow his brows. He must've noticed my stare so he cleared his frown and looked at me.
"Come on.(asks for my hand) Let's enjoy this while it lasts..."
I understood what he meant by that. I looked at his eyes which began to water. I accepted his hand and we started walking. I intertwined my fingers with his; rather tightly for this is the last time I'll be doing this.
***
AN:- Thanks to everyone who made it till here. If you liked it, please do give a vote and yeah, you can comment anything. Love you'll.