Gerard watched Shera go through lycan history for hours, his mind traveling elsewhere. There was a lot going on and he questioned if preparing for the wedding now as opposed to later was a good move. He wanted her buckled down and married to him as soon as possible but with what Raymond had informed them about Scott's movements it didn't seem possible. He stared at the treaty and the system that they had come up with. He couldn't get his head around why he was supposed to be in charge.
He wasn't going to argue if it meant getting help from the vampires; they were needed. He just couldn't fathom what they saw in him outside of his active support. Now that his kind had a system that could easily adapt and work with many others, he saw potential. He'd lead the council of seven, each member a pair as their females would stand with them. Every pair had a region where they took control, leaving the packs as they were but becoming the general overseer and communicator between them.
A pack had an issue with another pack over territory? Get the council member involved. A lycan lost control and is going on a rampage? The council member would get together a select few and treat them as enforcers to reduce damage. Situations like that were now easily mitigated, the headache removed from the alpha as to who had what and who was allied with who. Their system even had a basic set of laws for every pack to follow.
Now he had to give the vampires the treaty. It had been signed by the names needed and was ready to be made permanent. It would be bumpy at first, difficult to maneuver due to the unfamiliarity with it, but it'd be manageable. Gerard rubbed his temples and frowned at the slight scratching, looking at his hands to see his control gone. That was something else he needed to take care of right away.
He didn't mind having Shera on his mind all the time as he had Ally, it was just a sudden shift. His eyes slowly looked up, taking her in as she continued to talk to Raymond calmly in his frustration. If she knew just how much he needed her now, would she still throw her tantrums when he teased her? He was hoping she would; the faces she made were always adorable. Maybe it'd be a bit more relaxed though.
He had seen the slow shift over the last two months and he could now catch her staring at him when they were alone. It made him happy; it caused those little flutters in his chest that he hadn't felt in a long time. She looked over at him, a frown coming to her face before she turned a bit red and looked back at the book in front of her. She'd make a good mother, a better mate than he had initially thought. He still couldn't fathom her history though.
She wanted so much yet never made a move for herself; never put herself before anybody else. He'd have been selfish if he was her. If he saw his pack falling apart than he'd leave it to do what suited him. He had in a way when he killed his father. Revenge had been the most selfish thing he felt he'd done.
He still remembered Ally screaming and attacking him after his father's garbled breath. He still felt the flesh tearing beneath his claws and the copper taste still filled his mouth in bitterness. Raymond stood up and left, waving good bye to Shera as she smiled at him. Gerard realized he had been staring and cleared his throat, standing up to do something. "What do you want to eat," he asked.
"You've been out of it since the meeting," he should have known she'd read him. He stopped, his fingertips still on the table as her chair scoot across the floor. "What's wrong this time? Work?"
"It's not work," Gerard chuckled. "I'm not that much of a workaholic, little foxy."
"So then it's about the packs," she stepped around the table and stood in front of him with her arms crossed. He just nodded, not wanting to tell her anything more that was eating at his mind. "It's not a flawless system but it's adjustable. It's kind of like the constitution."
Gerard chuckled and moved his hands to her hips, staring down at them, "I can't wait to see you bubble up. You'll probably get chubby."
Her face was red and she hit his hands away, "Gerard!"
He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, "Come on! A little you pattering around? It'd be adorable. Oh, even better if she's got mommy's little shifting illness."
"That's not funny," Shera's voice trailed off and he heard her breath hitch. "I'm not ready for that so stop talking about it." Gerard nodded and she pushed away, walking to the kitchen.
"Your father," Gerard hesitated, a scowl coming to his face. "We know where he is now, you know. We can end this before it starts." He could see the tension in her shoulders as she stopped at the fridge.
"That's fine," it was a cold reply, her tone resolved. Gerard stopped closer, closing the fridge and turning her around.
"I know you don't want to," he knew better than anyone. She'd be in pain; so much pain she'd be unstable for months on end. He could see it in her eyes when she didn't meet his. "It's why I want you at home."
"He's my good-for-nothing father, Gerard," she finally looked up at him, the response taking a moment. "I'm going to be there when the proper punishment gets handed down. I'm not taking no for an answer."
"I'm handing the punishment," he informed her. Her body stiffened more at that and her face twisted into displeasure.
"You think I can't do it," she snapped angrily.
"No, I know you can. It's what comes after I don't want you subjected to," he replied. She frowned at him at that point and he grit his teeth. "I'm going to tell you a story, okay? And I want you to just listen."
"You're not a very good story teller," she sighed.
"Well, this story means a lot to me," Gerard walked to the pantry and grabbed a few snacks, moving to the couch and patting next to him. Shera stared for a minute before walking over and snatching the snacks from him. He didn't know how to start explaining to her how he knew she'd fall apart. Maybe she wouldn't and he was worrying for nothing but she'd also have to learn about him, right? It was only fair.
"So, a bit ago there was a witch who had fallen in live with an alpha," Gerard started. "She was pretty young and a bit foolish but she was smart and pretty. The alpha had begun to court her in those grounds, staking his claim until they wed and mated. In a few years the witch had two boys. The oldest was gifted with his father's abilities as a lycan while the youngest was on par with his mother's magic."
Gerard didn't look at Shera as he spoke, trying to keep it together while he went on, "The oldest had a problem though. He couldn't control his shifting and it often got in the way of his schooling. His mother was forced to stay hone with him to teach him what she could. Later on in the boy's life, he lost control almost completely. The mother tried her hardest to calm him down, to get him back to normal, but failed and the boy's mother died a week after his attack.
"From that point on, the son noticed a change in everyone. They looked down on him, avoided him, and his father was becoming distant. The youngest was sent away to learn witchcraft from a friend of their mother's. He wouldn't be heard from for years to come. The oldest," Gerard hesitated.
"The oldest what," Shera gently prodded. Gerard hadn't noticed himself shifting back and forth, he only knew that his eyes stung when he closed them.
"The oldest became the object of his father's aggression. The boy learned to read it so well that when his father began to train him to fight, he knew life or death," Gerard nodded. "The boy was sneaky though. He didn't want his mother's memory to die in vain so he often went out on his own to learn things. He met a bitten lycan who took him in.
"That lycan began to teach the son what he knew. He taught control, magic, gave the boy the education that was dropped since his mother died. The boy was practically part of the bitten's pack. He had gained enough control of himself he felt he could fulfill his mother's wishes and go to a normal school. When he went, he met a girl who captured his heart immediately.
"They began to see each other and they promised each other their entire worlds. The boy's father soon found out and behind the boy's back, he began to seduce the girl. The girl was naive and as time went on, she began wanting to be one of them. The boy had told her their secret somewhere in their relationship and her desire to be part of them grew day by day. The father turned her himself and they kept it secret for years."
"Hold on," Shera stopped eating, her eyes narrowed. "You're telling me that the girl was cheating on the guy with his dad?"
"Are you going to let me finish," Gerard sighed. He looked over at her and blinked. There was pity in her eyes but something more. He knew she wasn't stupid but he hoped she wouldn't connect any dots. He could see she had and it made this anecdote feel so much worse.
"Yeah," she said slowly.
"The boy finally had enough of his father and one night he approached him. He wanted to be alpha, to take charge so no one had to go through what his father had done to him. What he walked in on though, was his father mating the girl he fell in love with. The boy lost control and not a word was spoken as he attacked his father. The father hadn't seen the attack coming but he held his own.
"The boy overpowered his father after a long fight and at that point, the pack had come to witness it. They had a new alpha, a new leader they'd answer to that was hopefully less aggressive and tyrannical than the boy's father. Not everyone was hopeful though. The girl had fallen in love with the boy's father," Gerard jumped when Shera touched his lip, the scar under the pads of her fingers.
"Stop," she whispered. There was a pain there that made her voice crack and Gerard blinked. She wiped at his cheeks and shifted to the floor, kneeling in front of him. "How old are you," she asked.
"Twenty-nine," Gerard replied. When had he started crying? When had his shift stopped pulsing and stayed in a semi-transformed state? "Shera, let me-"
"She wasn't a good woman," Shera studied his face and he felt self conscious. He moved away from her hands that had cupped his face at her next words, "I would have killed her myself if you let her live."
"I don't-"
"Gerard," his name wasn't said harshly. It had come out as a whisper and there was a sad smile adorning her lips. "Could you not control it for months after you killed her?" Gerard grit his teeth as Shera stood and held his cheeks in her palms again.
"Can I-"
"No. You can't finish it," she shook her head and leaned down. Her forehead met his and he blinked as she rubbed her thumbs under his eyes. "She scarred you for life, in more ways than just your face. Didn't she? See, I think you've influenced me in a bad way now."
"How have I done that," Gerard's voice became hoarse. Shera closed her eyes and he wanted to tell her to open them, to not leave him hanging in the silence when she knew the most intimate part of him. He couldn't though, not unless he wanted to sound weak and pathetic.
"You can kill my father," she nodded slowly. "You can kill him so I don't have to. I'll put my well-being in those pretty white claws of yours. I don't really know anyone else to place myself with and you hold me gentler than anyone ever has. I won't leave a scar on you like that woman did, I promise."
Her eyes opened and she gently kissed him. He grabbed her hands when she pulled away, looking off to the side. A small smirk came across his face as he shifted back, his cheek nuzzling into her palm.
"You stay in the back? So I have a reason to come home," he asked slowly.
"Yeah. I'll stay home so you can come back and look at the stars with me," she nodded. Gerard closed his eyes as she hugged him, her fingers getting lost in his hair.