There's nothing like us...
There's nothing like you and me...
Together through the storm...
That was his favourite song.
You remember the nights he would sing that song on the balcony with his balmy voice.
Now as he sang slowly to beautiful... You hid your face so he wouldn't see your tears.
It's beautiful life...
Neon naeui geote isseulge hmm.
Beautiful life....
Your heart ached to see him take one difficult breath after another, his voice never faltered and his smile was still in place. You gave a force smile at his effort and sang with him.
It's beautiful my love, it's beautiful heart...
His heart was indeed beautiful, so caring, so free. He was the best thing that ever happened to you. And it was driving you insane watching him wither slowly on that bed.
He smiled yet again.
And it killed you.
The doctor stepped into the room with a smile
"how is my handsome patient doing? "
"I have abs ", he joked.
The doctor did his check up and looked at you with a smile. But you could see that it was forced.
"he's doing really well"
You nodded as the doctor stepped out
"hey honey... I'll be right back, there's something I need to ask the doctor"
He nodded with his oxygen mask and you bit back a tear.
You stepped out and held onto the door knob for support as a tear slipped down your cheek.
As you entered the doctor's office, He glanced up from the files he was looking through.
You sat down
"he's not doing well is he? ",you asked
He shook his head no.
A tear slipped down your cheek and you began to sob silently.
"h-how long does he have? ", you choked out
"we're not exactly sure...but since we actually thought the worst, three months ago and he pulled through, we're thinking of maybe a day, three, a week, a month or a year"
You gulped.
"that is not even something I can hang on to Doc", you sobbed
The tears were unstoppable now and you allowed them to flow freely, letting your aching heart cry as much as you wanted but the pain, it never subsided.
The pain in your heart was so thick that you could feel it weigh on your chest.
You wiped your eyes and got back to his room.
"hey what took you so long? ", he asked.
Tears threatening to fall, you anseered
"I... I... Met a friend"
He smiled knowing that you'd always been a bad liar but he didn't push any further.
"baby... Can you get me some bunny socks? "
"right,right now? "
He nodded sharply
"ok, I'll be right back", you smiled.
He smiled as he watched you step out
That smile. If only you knew that would be the last time you'd see it.
He wasn't feeling too well but he didn't want you to see him as he gave up. So he asked you to get something insignificant. He knew it would break you to see him give up and although he was scared, he didn't want you to be scarred for life.
His heart beating so fast, he wished he could beat this and live holding onto your hand.
This wasn't how he wanted to spend his last days. A tear slipped down his face. He was afraid and as he cried he realized his biggest regret would be leaving you behind.
He'd wanted to see you happy, but just a few minutes ago he saw your puffy eyes, evidence of you crying earlier. It had broken him so much he'd wanted to ask but he didn't.
He knew his condition was worse but when you said he was better, he didn't argue. He didn't have the strength to argue. He smiled as tears rolled down his face.
Why did it hurt to let go?. Why was it so hard to take his final breath?. He didn't want to go.
As you got close to his door, you saw some men standing there.
"is something wrong? ", you asked, your heart skipping a beat.
A lone tear slipped down your eyes
You checked the room number, maybe you had it wrong. Nope that was the door.
"will someone bloody tell me what's going on?", you shouted in frustration
"please..... ", your voice broke
"you can't go in please stay back", one man in white said sternly.
You tried to barge in but got held back.
"let me go.... If there's something wrong I need to know"
You struggled against them
"please.... Please... I, I need to see him.... I'm begging you "
The tears kept falling all over again.
You choked as you began grab your chest. Your heart was aching badly. Your breathing picked up and y poo u suddenly felt lightheaded.
"let her in", someone said.
When you stopped inside, you took a deep breathe.
"doc.... Is he okay? "
"I'm sorry... But he... He gave up"
"wait what?.... It can't be... You.... You said the worse would he him going into a coma"
"I know "
You gulped
"he's in a coma right? ", you asked as a tear slipped slowly over your nose. That was the ray of hope you were hanging onto.
Your head was pounding, your eyes were puffy and your nose was stuffed but you couldn't stop the tears. They just flowed at will.
"he's not in a coma... I'm sorry we lost him"
You covered your mouth and slipped onto a chair. You saw his peaceful face.
He can't begone forever. He can't be cold like this. He can't leave you like this.
But he wasn't moving.
He was so still, it broke your heart all over again.
He was gone.
Your heart broke.
They wouldn't even allow you to get close.
"I love you"
"here.... He left this for you"
You looked up to see a small paper and grabbed it.
To my sunshine,
Thank you for being by my side. I don't think there's more I would have asked for. You made me so happy this past year. My only regret is leaving you behind, not telling you how much I love you and failing to hug you every morning.
I'm gonna miss your smile. I'm really afraid baby. I don't wanna die. I love you.
You started to feel your eyes water all over again.
He didn't wanna die.
You clutched the letter to your heart and cried for hours in his room, beside him. You didn't have the heart to leave him.
"I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry.... I wasn't even here"
You thought about how difficult it must have been for him.
"I love you ", you kissed his forehead for the last time. It didn't matter to you anymore whether he was contagious or not.
You loved him.
Just as you stood up, you felt something clutch your finger weakly.
Dead people don't touch.
You took a deep breath and glanced down. His hand was wrapped around your finger.
He was holding on! He hadn't given up just yet!
"Doctor?! Somebody... Anybody..... Please..... Doctor.... ", you shouted, "he's alive"
Soon a group of doctors and nurses were barging through the door. They replaced the oxygen masks they had removed earlier and put him on some machines.
They did a checkup and they seemed marvelled as well
You were just grateful. You kissed his forehead.
"thank you.... Thanks for not leaving me behind"
He closed his eyes and you saw tears stream down his face.
"I would never leave you behind "
IN MEMORY OF OUR STRENGTH DURING TRYING TIMES
A/N
I kinda wrote this slight angst because of the pandemic. This is how I pictured it.
The 'He' is any BTS member depending on who you want it to be, for me it's Tae because y'all know he's my bias. It could also be Jungkook, who is my wrecker.
The 'He' represents all people (all races, occupations, gender) , all our loved ones affected.
The 'you' is the rest of us who have to see our loved ones endure this, the pain we ourselves endure and the support we give from a distance.
Just like the miracle in the story, it gets hard and we may feel like losing hope but somewhere along the line, I see all of us getting through this, surviving this.
We've been through worst but we've managed to stay strong.
It's gonna get better. Soon this pandemic will get a bleak memory in a bright future.
I hope you enjoy reading. Thank you.
2020.
I just saw this and it looks so amazing so I wanted to share.