I had made massive progress learning the art of magic 'borrowing'. The Darkhold is truly a frightening thing when in capable hands. Imagine Thanos or Malekith finding it. The world is truly lucky, a benevolent being such as myself had found it.
I also have good news and bad news on the case of Wanda unlocking her potential. The good news, is that I found a way to unlock her magic with the power stone, the bad news is that it would take years to do so, since she wouldn't be able to handle so much of the destructive energy.
At least I have a failsafe if Thanos does the smart thing, and doesn't let one of his forces take the mind stone with him. The thing is, he wouldn't expect worthy opposition on this planet, except the Asgardians that can be deployed against him.
I doubt they have something good enough to obscure them from Heimdall's sight, seeing as the details of his abilities aren't known to people, just that he can supposedly see all in the nine realms. The purple guy is more trouble than he is worth, to be honest. He is lucky space is so vast, otherwise I would have killed him, to save myself greater trouble down the line.
Fuck, I sound like the mc from one of those shitty fix-it fanfics I stumbled on recently. They spend their reincarnation helping people they haven't met or know, just because they read a story about them. The fools aren't even helping random people, so they aren't exactly goody two shoes. I believe this is just a sub-art of simping.
I guess killing Thanos doesn't count, since the guy is trying to kill trillions which I could be part of. I have my afterlife, so there is a chance that I won't have to worry, but that is only if the snap doesn't destroy their souls too, and unfortunately, I don't have a method to revive or fix destroyed souls.
~~~
"So let me get this straight, you are having problems dealing with ninjas fighting against your operations?" I asked amused.
"Yes. Why are you making it sound like it is absurd? Aren't you a magic-wielding alien warrior?" Yelena replied.
"Oh, I believe you, my dear. I know of the people you speak of, I guess they don't appreciate us kicking them out. I am surprised you don't know of them though"
"Just because I was a spy doesn't mean I knew every single thing. I can handle them just fine, it's just that I can't be everywhere. I will get more info on them before striking their leaders. Though it would be easier if you give me the information."
"Let me teach you the art of chi, you won't be able to master it in such a short time but it will still be helpful. Oh, and love, be sure to bring back the bodies. These guys have the annoying habit of just ignoring the rules of death."
"Interesting." She says but I can tell that she is dumbfounded by the piece of information.
"Don't worry about it too much. I could give you a weapon that would allow you to permanently kill them, but that wouldn't be any fun. As a consolation prize, I will start teaching you chi right now."
"I can't decide if you are being a helpful or unhelpful person." She said with her lips thinned.
"Why can't I be both?" I say with my most charming smile.
I would like to think that my smile can cause any woman to instantly get drenched, but the fact that I give that smile after saying something assholely, has caused a number of people to try and kick me in the balls. Which in turn, caused a number of people to break their feet. Because I have extremely durable balls.
I spent the rest of the day unlocking Yelena's chi and proceeding to bully... I mean spar with her, while letting her get used to the basics of the power of her own lifeforce. Phew, I almost got called on domestic charges, not that I couldn't use the holy art of bribing to get away with it. I love corruption.
Afterwards, I leave on my way to Jotunheim. My stepmother has most likely given birth to my son, and I am going to collect him. Some might think it is a dick move what I am going to do, and I'll admit it is, but frost giants don't really care about their children because of their culture.
The strong rule, and the weak submit in Jotunheim, and I am sure my brothers are already killing each other for the crown. I was literally abandoned for months as a baby and I refuse to let my son be some pawn for another. Laufey probably convinced himself that my mother fucked someone behind his back, because he can't even fathom a world where his son wasn't an 8-foot monstrosity.
I calmly walk from where I teleported to the area where Laufey lived. I didn't bother to disguise myself, I wanted to see the expression on their faces when they found out, the great Loki cucked their king. I don't have to worry about retaliation since they were culled by Thor, and the rest by me on the fiery planet.
Children, the ultimate cockblockers. I stopped counting after the hundred times Elsa interrupted me from my sexy time with Hela or Aelsa, because she wanted to be cuddled in between us. Not that I minded, every man needs fluff in his life every now and then.
I am cut from my musings by a frost giant guard trying to kill me. Easily evading the ice spear he threw at me. I counterattacked with my fist hitting his neck, decapitating him.
"You poor fool. All you had to do was ignore me and you could have lived. No matter, at least you won't ever be forgotten. Of course, I couldn't forget you unless I erased the memory with mind magic, and that would be too much trouble. You're really bad at conversation you know, not even replying when a god decides to take time out of his day to converse with you."
I continued as I killed everyone who tried to stop me. It was quite the fun activity.
"What do you want Asgardian." My brother Helbindi says angry and ready to fight, but I can sense fear from him as well. He had several frost giants with him.
"I don't see the other sons' of Laufey."
"They were weak and coveted something that they couldn't take." He says,
"Interesting. So you are king now. King Helbindi?"
"Yes. What do you want and be quick with your answer or I will strike you down."
"I want your mother," I say and pause for dramatic effect and watch as he growls. "To give me my son."
"Why would my mother have your son."
"Well you see, when two people love each other very much, they hug and a couple months later, the woman or sometimes the man pops out a baby," I explained to him as if he was a slow child, which caused him to become livid. "Listen, I just want my child, your brother/nephew, and I will go."
"My mother would never cheat on my father, and even if she did, she would never lay with an Asgardian."
I changed into the form that I was in the last time I was here.
"Miss me?" I say and give my most charming grin, causing them to growl before attacking me. See, everyone just wants to hit me after I give my smile.
One quick battle later and I am dragging a struggling but mostly uninjured Helbindi to his mother. The other frost giants weren't so lucky. His mother was sitting on a throne next to the main one, where the king is supposed to sit.
There was a foot long creature in her lap, and on closer inspection, I saw that it was a dragon. I was confused until I felt the connection that I shared with all my children, and I had to stop myself from gawking.
"Wow. I expected a lot of things, but definitely not that. Helbindi you were so sure your mother didn't cheat, but here she has a dragon on her lap." I say amused. "Angrboda, I see you have taken care of my child."
"You." She says conflicted. I could understand, I was her previous lover and here I am dragging her child around like a child. I was in the form I was during our coupling so she recognized me.
"I would like to reintroduce myself. I am Loki of Perfectum, and I am burdened with glorious purpose." I say as I revert to my original form. "I would like my child back. If you give him peacefully, I won't kill the rest of your soldiers."
After a bit of contemplation, she gives me an answer. "Here, take the beast, I would appreciate it if you would leave, immediately."
Wow, she just gave my son away over the lives of a few dozens of soldiers. I actually want to kill her for the disrespect she just showed to my son. Just goes to show I made the right decision in taking him.
Telekinetic pulling my dragon boy to me. He didn't even resist since I have long since used blood magic to make my direct descendants loyal, as well as comfortable with me. Thinking about a name, I decide on Draigoch, meaning powerful.
I don't even bother with the rest of the Frost Giants and just leave for Perfectum. They will probably suffer another Civil War, since their people will hear how powerless they were before me.
A/N: If you want to read you can join my patre.on/ DickMcJones