I heard distant claps from behind me. The clap was slow. The clap was mocking. He was mocking me. The clapping continued until he was right on the other side of the table, in front of me.
"Congratulations Tal! You finally had your first kill and Mattia Gabriel at that. No denying that he's a tough one. Oh sorry, was, he was a tough one."
I looked up and stared straight into the eyes of the man who made me who I am. The man who plans to strip away every last sliver of emotion left in me. Even though I feel sick after killing my first target, I was obliged to shove it down and never let it appear. I felt obligated to do so because of him.
Allesso Ferando. The owner of Pericolo. Allesso strived to stay connected with mafias and gangs all around the world. He would 'help' them to assassinate anyone they asks to. He would send us in to do their dirty work when their busy, lazy or too much of a coward to do it themselves. As much as the mafias and gangs got their aid from Allesso, it wasn't sincere. It gave Allesso the upper hand. It made them indebted to him. Having someone else do their own jobs just shows how much power Allesso had. He had us.
"I had help", I replied smoothly with a blank face. I turned my head towards Jaxon sitting beside me. He gave me a comforting smile but as soon as he looked back at Allesso, his face turned emotionless. All signs of comfort gone in a blink.
"Ah yes how could I forget your partner." Allesso gave Jaxon and I a smile that was anything but kind. He clearly knows of the strong relationship we had and he didn't like it all. "Just remember that when you pull the trigger next time, he wouldn't be there." The way he said it, he was ecstatic with that idea. I went into panic mode thinking of it and my eyes started becoming hot. Allesso noticed this.
"Are you going to cry like the weak-self you are Tallie? Do you need fidanzato here to hold your hand? Pathetic." , he said all of this all the while look straight into my eyes.
"No. I'm not pathetic", my voice was hoarse and quiet. I tried to say it with much conviction but anyone could tell that it was false. I am pathetic.
"Yes. Yes you are. This is just the first of many more killings. Don't worry, you will feel less as the kill count increase." Allesso's voice was filled with humor indicating that he was taking pleasure in my suffering. "Alright! I have a date right now. Well not a date exactly if you know what I mean." He winked at the both of us and I shuddered in disgust. "I will see you soon. Go on and celebrate children." And with that, he walked towards the door and headed out, leaving Jaxon and I in complete silence. The tears that I so desperately wanted to avoid started streaming down my cheek.
"Hey hey hey. Tallie, don't let him get to you. He always does this, you have to block him out, sweetheart." Jaxon's voice was full of worry. he cradled my face with both his hands and forced me to look at him. He sighed looking at me and crushed me into his chest. No words were said. Just the feeling of being safe and shielded in his arms.
After a few moments, he pulled back then started fiddling with his necklace. It was the necklace given to him by his mother. He told me it comforted him in many situations and it actually helped. It reminded him to center his feelings and think about his mother's words and touch. He took of the necklace and put in around my neck, the gold chain with a single pendant dangling from my neck now.
"This necklace reminded me of my mother. I want you to wear it because you need more than I do right now. I want you to look at this necklace when your feeling all over the place and think of me. Think of me holding your hand just like this.". He held my hand in both of his hands. Warm and rough. "Think of me pulling you in to my chest and running my hands through your hair". Jaxon proceed to do just that, showing me."This might no work but this is all I could give to you", he said pulling away and looking deep into my eyes.
I sighed in worry and content. "This is more than enough Dario." I told him smiling slightly. He returned that smile knowing I was better now.
It was more than enough.
--------------
"...and I slammed his head on the brick wall. The wall wasn't really that smoo- hey Tallie are you listening? Tallie?"
I was so deep in thought that I zoned out when Conner was talking about an encounter he had with a man at the bar yesterday. We were still in the car and was about to reach my college. I turned my head to look at Conner and found out that he was looking beneath my neck that made me automatically made me look down. I was unconsciously fiddling and tugging at my chain. Jaxon's chain that had a medium sized single-letter pendant.
J.
I looked back at Conner and his face turned hard, all the while looking ahead of him, driving. His grip on the steering wheel was so tight his knuckles started to whiten. Conner always reacted this way when he was reminded of Jaxon even at the slightest bit. I can't blame him, they were brothers after all. Not by blood but by bond.
"Conner..." I was hesitant to call him because when he's serious, he can be very scary. "Conner, you didn't exactly tell me where you wear last. All I'm hearing is that you smashed someone's head". I was desperate to bring us out of the sudden heavy atmosphere we were in.
And just like that Conner when back to his smiley-self and answered me. "Oh I was just out and about. The usual."
"The usual meaning you were out with girls"
" What.No.I'm not usually out with girls" he exclaimed.
"Boys then. You were out with boys. I didn't know you swing that way Conner", I teased.
"Darling you of all people should know that I definitely DON'T swing that way" Conner looked at me for a brief second sending me a wink and that shut me up quickly.
Right.
"Shut up. I will not hesitate to use the knife I have stuffed in my socks." I told him all the while glaring slightly.
Conner just sent me a teasing smile but didn't say anything else. After that we rode to my college in complete silence. Once we reached there, I mumbled a quick bye to Conner and headed straight to the bathroom. I mentally cursed myself for not emptying my bladder before leaving the apartment.
After finishing my business and washing my hand, I looked at my figure in the mirror. My raven hair all over the place. My skin almost pale and dark circles under my eyes that made me look sick. The bad dreams I keep having is getting to me, draining my energy physically and mentally.
Sighing, I started heading towards my classroom when a hand held both of my shoulders and pulled me into an empty classroom. As an instinct I went into attacking mode. I took the knife out of sock and held one arm I had on my shoulder and began to twist it when I heard squealing from my attacker itself. I released the arm and came face-to-face with a very familiar face.
"Leyla! What the hell are you doing! What if I had actually hurt you?!"I told her my voice was filled with relief. I was planning to stuck my knife in her arm for godsakes.
"Umm Tal, why do you have a knife like that in your sock. Normally we would go for pocket knives you know. The one you're holding makes you look like you came out of an assassin movie."
I looked at my needle point and quickly stuffed it back in my sock. Thank God I didn't stuff my gun in my waistband or I would have it pointed at her."I'm following a trend." I shrugged. "Anyways why in the world did you pull me in here? We have class in a few more minutes. And just a reminder we're in the same class."
"I know I know. I just want to tell you something!" Immediately Leyla started beaming. Her lips stretched out so wide that I felt the pain in my cheeks.
"I kissed TYLER yesterday! You know how I said I was going to this party? Well it was his party and we started talking and flirting and BAM! He kissed me and I kised him back and now he's inviting me to celebrate his birthday in a downtown club. He said I can bring a company so you;re my company! " With that Leyla started shaking my shoulders and squealing.
Leyla Evans is my only friend that I have maid in the past four years after moving here. We met in a coffee and she bought me a coffee spilling mine. After that it's history. She doesn't really know about my past and I like to keep it that way. It's called a past for a reason. She only knows me as a normal teenage college girl who moved from Connecticut living in apartment with her "cousin".
"So you just assumed that I will gladly be your company?"
"Well duh", she said as if stating the obvious.
I pondered on it and thought that I really do need a break. Constantly cleaning my unused weapons is getting a little, bland.
"Fine I'll come with you" Leyla just smile even more if that's even possible. "I have one question though. Why did you drag me in here when you could have just told me this in class?" I expressed my curiosity in disbelief.
"Well for one Tyler is our class and sitting right behind us, I don't him to know I'm exited for him. I just said said "sure, why not" when he asked me to go to the club because I didn't want to look too pleased and crazy" Leyla eyes widened as well as her smile. Yeah. Not crazy at all. "And I thought I wanted to give you a little scare but it backfired since I was the one scared to death seeing how you almost twisted my arm." Her happy face turned into a grimace no doubt imaging what would happen if I had twisted her arm.
"Typical you Leyla. Alright let's head to class. We're already late."
Leys nodded her head and we adjusted out bags on our shoulders and walked towards our class.
My mind help but wander to this Friday night. Clubs. During my days as a killer, that's the place where I had my most kills. Mafias and gangs tend to let their guard down there. When you;re having fun, you get comfortable until you forget that you have targets on your head.
I smirked at all the possibilities that could happen in clubs.