Disingenuous (adjective)
Slightly dishonest, or not speaking the complete truth.
Chapter 3
(Mako P.O.V)
I'm sitting on rough dreary concreate stairs, my butt cold and numb as I pat my legs in silence to help ease the cramping. I walked persistently that my legs are sore, the dark night is beginning to lift up only a while ago the blackness was absolute, but now the mist is visible, silvery with cool air. Before this rising sun I may be the only a silhouette out here, but as it shines through the thick clouds, golden and strong, lighting my skin as time passes. The sun is offering me a day I was never promised, yet was glad to see. I let the moment sink in, remembering all those times I wished I could witness the sunrise. This all meant a new beginning was possible and possibilities meant hope.
Listening to the buzzing noise of insects as the wind blows scattering the leaves in the distance. I wrap my hands around my cold body and wait for the sun to completely rise to watch people come back to life. I swallow trying to ease the thickness and soreness in my throat. For the first time in my life, I find myself alone. It was just me, alone in a strange place. But I chose this.
Now that humans have awakened, the city is experiencing a new day. I'm walking the squared ground, getting out of people's way leaning from this side to the other to protect my eyes from the piercing umbrella pointy ends. Clouds covering the grey sky shimming away the once strong bright sun. Lurching from stall to the other, watching people shop vegetables, orange carrots, white carrots, the holy potatoes... shopkeepers hollered out offers on the top of their lungs in a patronizing funny tone to attract customers and customers desperately tried to bargain for the best possible prices pushing. The silent thick heat mercilessly captivate the market. Beads of sweat glistened on everyone's foreheads and many small children wailed in annoyance due to the sweltering heat. The salty odour of sweat mingled with the tingling aroma of spices and the sweet smell of flowers coming from the perfume's shop. All of these smells mixed together and gave the market a rather unique scent I have never known to exist, which hung in the air surrounding the gloomy looking but rather vibrant market which was drowning in the sea of people.
Walking around the market, I spot a bakery. I stand frozen wondering if I should go in, I peeked through the glass door, pressing my face to the glass and cupping my hand around my eyes trying to shut out the reflecting light. It was small, the mouth-watering displays were taking massive space that it left customers to barely squeeze in and out. I take a deep breath of courage and push the door, a heat flushes over my face as the door refuses to open and my eyes land on the sticker stating the word PULL. As I step in, I glance at my surroundings searching people's faces in case they had spotted me pushing the door, but my attention is diverted as the smell hits me so hard a smile naturally forms on my face. I can almost taste the aroma in my mouth, it's so warm and bready. I take a few steps looking around. My stomach decides to growl, crunching as I watch the pastries, placed behind glass to protect it from hands like mine that won't hesitate to reach for one and take a bite.
"Hello, what would you like?" I look up at agitated passive voice, a young girl looks back at me eyes half open and lips pressed into a tight tiny smile. She leans her head to the side raising her eyebrows while clutching a metal thingy in her hand, ready to pick a pastry or smack me.
"I'm just looking." I prod giving my nose a streak my heart thumping in my chest. I smile so she won't get mad or upset at me not purchasing. Losing her smile, she sighs walking away. I continue to look at the different form of beautiful pastries. I take my camera into my hands, turn it on and snap a picture.
"Did you ask for permission?" I look at the girl over the counter swallowing trying to clear my throat, the same girl with the metal thingy.
"Huh? The...the picture?" I ask gesturing at my camera. She nods,
"Yeah, did you ask if you can take pics?" She shrugs her voice stern as she waves her metal wand in my direction. I swallow smiling as a knot forms in my stomach. I feel the soft panic that can grow or fade depending on what I do next. I want to back away and leave.
"It's just a pastry..." I manage in a low voice. She points her metal weapon at me pushing her body over the counter, crouching over.
"Listen, you didn't pay for the pastry so it's not yours. Don't take pictures!" She shouts at me, I back away.
"I thought I can still look at it. Sorry, I didn't mean to..." I bump into a table behind me as I try to walk away. I can feel my pulse pounding in my temples right in the middle of my forehead. I apologies again and again, till I leave the bakery. I stand still as the warm wind plays with my hair aggressively. After my heart calms down and my gut is silent, I march away smiling. I have the pastry picture though. I'm the winner.
Hours later, soaked sore and hungry. I decide I did enough exploration and adventure, time to create something for me out here. Asking for directions every now and then, I stand still looking at the station glass doors. This is the best I can do for now, I can't think of anything else. Walking in, I stand over the counter. I glance down at a police boy in a blue shirt, phone pressed to his left ear secured with his shoulder as he takes notes on a board in his hands with a pen. He eyes me as he speaks on the phone. I nod as he gives me a finger to wait a minute. I look around but it's empty, just a few officers at their desks in their seats fiddling with paper.
"Hello." The officer muses putting down the phone back at it's home. I take a deep breath grabbing the cold counter,
"How can I help you?" He asks smiling at me.
"I'm lost." I let out, it's not entirely a lie...
"Oh, um... how old are you? under 19 right?" He asks taking a paper and scribbling something, giving some time to think of my next lie.
"Umm.. I don't know. I don't remember." I say. This is stupid, but I'm desperate. He looks up from the paper board, studying me. I'm sweating and my head begins to slightly throb.
"I woke up somewhere... and I can't remember anything." I try my pathetic lies. He stands up eyes widening,
"Are you okay? Did you hit your head... are you hurt?" He asks looking me up and down.
"No, no. I'm okay. I just don't know where I am." I say smiling slightly.
"Okay, first give me your name and... oh you don't remember..." He puts in, the corner of his mouth lifting looking away. He asks me to wait a second and leaves his chair to talk to one of his colleges. He comes back with his college... now I have to try convince two people...
"Hello... so you don't remember anything? not even your name?" The women police asks doubtful looking like she's having none of it. I nod not trusting my mouth.
"Where did you wake up?" She asks narrowing her eyes at me.
"I woke up in an empty grassy area." I say looking down at my tangled hands.
"Can you possibly take us there?" She asks searching my face. Her hair was a soft brown, like the bark of a tree in our garden back home that I countlessly tried to climb, not dark but simply gentle in the grey lighted room reflecting from the cloudy sky.
"I walked away from there for quite a long time, I don't know my way back." I find myself saying gesturing behind me as if the place is too far.. I wouldn't believe myself too. She stares at me for a bit too long, sweat trickling down my back.
"Well, first take a picture of her and put it on the board in case someone recognizes her. Then we can run a test in the data base." She orders the boy next to her and he nods. I look at the photos on the board I'm about to be put on. Headlined as Missing / Runaways. I'm okay with that because none of them will be out here to see it. I smile to myself.
"Lift you head a little...perfect." The police officer prods as he takes a picture. He checks the picture and goes to his desk. I follow as I don't know what to do with myself. He clicks and clacks on his laptop. I want to ask if they'll give me...or somewhere I can stay or money... but I might sound suspicious if I do so I hold myself.
"Your bag... is there anything in it that can help you know something? like an identity or a phone?" He asks giving my back bag a glance.
"No, there isn't much." I whisper. He looks up at me for a sec as the printer beside him hollers,
"What about your camera? do you want me to check what's on it on my laptop?" He asks his chair wheeling over to the printer behind him and he grabs the print outs. I grab hold of the camera that's hanging from my neck...What did I photograph again? I've had it for so long I can't remember...there's definitely pictures of them.
"This... I guess it's not digital though." I say fiddling with the camera pretending to check it out. That's a good thing, he can't check it now.
"Ah film? that'll be fine. My comrade can take get them out." He says leaving the desk with the print out. I watch him place my image next to the others. I don't belong there, I'm neither lost nor a runaway criminal.
"I'll take a sample of your blood and then we can go have a ride, maybe you can see something familiar and it'll help us find a lead." He says pressing his lips in a smile. I press one too my gut wrenching in pain as he stretches his hand out. I pull the camera string off me tugging at my hair and I hand it over. It's okay, maybe the pictures won't help them after all.
"If you see anything familiar around let me know, it might help us find who you are or where you came from." He beams holding the steering wheel. I nod slowly. In his dreams... I don't remember anything out here since I've never been here.
I begin to pray that anything happens to make this ride end. Shamefully I don't have a solid experience with riding a car, I only remember once traveling in one but I was sick then and barely remember my experience. I close my eyes to ease the overwhelming sickness that is washing over my body, as if something is softly strangling me. I shoot him a worried look at the loud noise of my stomach. With that growl, it's confirmed my stomach is eating itself. He laughs softly not taking his eyes off the road.
"Are you hungry?...hmm it's almost my lunchtime. Want to get a quick bite?" He asks me and I nod looking away. Embarrassing or not, at least I'll get to eat.... His phone rings. He reaches for his pocket with one hand on the wheel. I watch out the window enjoying the scenery. He exclaims in shook a few times but I don't get any information except his wide eyed glances.
"Someone came saying they know you." I look up shocking on my own saliva as he puts down his phone. Clearing my mouth I scratch my head in confusion. Who? none of us leaves the house... that's absolute. Then...who is it? someone followed me? impossible, there was no one behind me. I'm sure.
"Who?" I ask tugging at the zipper on my backpack on my lap not really looking forward to an answer.
"I don't know, someone saying you're their sister." He answers shrugging. I sigh, Should I run away? go get my camera and find another police station? but I have to go way further to find another station... aren't they probably all connected?
"We'll head back to the station now." The police officer says taking a sharp right turn. I grunt my teeth in annoyance... what about the supposedly lunch?? That growl earlier was no ordinary one, but I keep my mouth shut as I'm not in the position to complain... I'm a liar after all. I keep my lips sealed looking out the window, I'm curious as to who is here for me and how they found me, and if I'll be taken back. I'll fight them and won't return for sure.
My heart thumbs as we head inside the station. Looking around I don't spot any face I know. A boy sitting down with a bucket hat is the only none police person there. From his silhouette I don't recognize him. The police man walks over to him and says something I'm unable to hear because of the distance and the loud fan in the ceiling. The person waiting stands up and looks over at me.
"Iris!" He calls out coming forward. Iris... I'm no Iris. He throws his arms around me and I push him off; chest heaving. He gives me a smile and hugs me again, this time so tight I can't wrench him off. I take a deep breath trying to settle my nerves to think properly, a mixture of smells bombarding me. A metallic and slightly sweet smell. Somehow I realize that these are the smell of blood.
"I'll tell them who you really are if you tell them who I am." He whispers in my ear. I swallow hard trying to ease my headache. Does he even know who I am? what if he actually does?... He let's go giving me a glare, then smiles turning around facing the police officer.
"She's my sister, she was missing for a few days and got me worried." He tells the officer who doesn't seem to believe him... of course he won't. His bucket hat stained with blood from his crime yesterday night.
"I don't know you. I think you're mistaken..." I say testing my luck. He can't know who I am... no way. All he knows is I run from the police... just like he did yesterday.... Wait... his ankle seems fine? I'm sure he was badly hurt yesterday.
"What are you saying, it's me, your brother." He presses taking my arm squeezing it. He glares at me, nostrils flaring.
"Well, you can't remember anything right?" The police women pricks coming from behind me, a hand holding a cup and the other in her pocket.
"We confirmed it. Here's your ID sir." The brunette hands the tall boy a card. He smiles at her and she smiles back, recognition in their eyes. Do they know each other? Is that why she's pretending not to see the huge spot of dry blood on the hat!?
"Let's go home." The boy orders me. Grabbing my hand I'm taken out the station forcefully. My already unstable plan is ruined now. How am I going to get a home and fit out here. As we walk away I pull my hand away.
"What do you want? you're not my brother." I prod my voice coming out harsh and demanding.
"You don't say..." He cracks his head from side to the other flaunting his authority. He pulls something out from his jacket pocket,
"I figured you might have picture from that place. We don't want anyone knowing where we're from." He predicts handing me my camera. I take it and examine it, it is indeed mine.
"Listen, I don't know what you want or who you are. But if you don't take me back to the station and tell them you were mistaken, I'll go tell them what you are and trust me, I will." I say harshly. He let's out a laugh,
"I'll let you go once you shlocking tell me how you left and made it here. Cause we both know only one of us fsheks can be out here once at a time." He says... I don't even know what he's saying, my head is already pounding with all the stress from the stupid lies I manufactured earlier; it will not in any way help me understand his vacuous words.
"Let's go, we'll talk at home." He orders gesturing with his left hand. A giggle escapes my lips,
"No way. I'm not going anywhere with something like you." I take in a sharp breath realizing what I had just said... I'll be digging my grave to go with him anyway. Does he want me to come so he can kill me? oh my god, maybe that's why... I place a hand over my lips to keep any unnecessary words inside.
"Something like me?" He repeats in a shrill gritting his teeth, eyes narrowing.
"Yes, to be honest I've been nice to you so far. But I'm not about to go with a... a ghoul." I swallow, will he get mad... and kill me... we're in public anyway... but he attacked that man yesterday in public so it really doesn't change anything. Forehead forward, his eyes dart between mine.
"I mean, no. I'm not coming. Just take me back please." I say firmly my heart thumping, it's a form of my apology. He takes a deep breath loud and clear keeping his eyes on me.
"Ghoul... you say it with disgust." He sneers as the warm wind blows at us.
"You're good at it." He puts in eyeing me up and down suddenly looking sad eyes droopy.
"Good at what?" I ask confused.
"Good at playing human." He spits voice changing harsh and wrathful.