I tried to stomach the smells that were coming out the kitchen as Benito roasted some chicken breast and vegetables for me.
"I'm not really hungry." I confessed as He chopped up some fruit for Bria and I. The fruits are the only thing I think I can stomach at the moment and really hope he does force me to eat what he is preparing in the oven.
"Michael insisted that I made sure you eat something." I rolled my eyes at his response.
"Fine," I pouted
"You should be happy he is treating you well enough to make sure you are fed." I looked at him in shock. Why would he say something so artious.
"What's that supposed to mean Benito." He stopped chopping the pineapple in chucks and turned to face me.
"You know what I mean Valentina. He was just getting over you. He got himself a girlfriend and was moving on. You were dead and should have stayed so in my opinion." He said
"That a stupid thing to say you think I wanted Michael to find me and for this to happen." I said a little louder than I intended. I looked around to see if anyone was around. And if they heard me.
"It was beside the point what you did should not warrant any forgiveness from Micheal."
"So you think he has forgiven me?" I interrupted.
"If it was up to me Valentina you would have been shot in the same spot with the other traitor Nate but he is a lenient man with those he is in love with." I gasped at his words and wondered how many of Micheal's staff thought the same way.
"You shouldn't say those things to me."
"What are you going to do to run to Michael and complain? It's not the same anymore. You are not the queen of this castle just one of it's prisoner." He told me as he took the roasted vegetables and chicken out of the oven. He plated it and placed it in front of me.
"So eat up, bitch!"
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I was still really angry at what Benito had said to me. How dare he. Treating me with such little regard. But he was right. I had no power as I am now. Should I be thankful for not killing me and seeing that I was adequately fed.
No, I scoffed at myself. He was just using me for his Bria sake. So I have to do the same as well. I am determined to stay in her life and watch her grow up.
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I had my hand cradling a very posh looking barbie. I was pretending to talk to my best friend Blair, a blonde barbie dressed in a beautiful pink princess dress.
"Oh, Blair I really like your dress." I made the barbie say acting out its movement.
"Thank you," Bria giggled as she turned the barbie around showing off her beautiful dress.
"Do you want to see my doll house?" Bria asked my Barbie.
"Yes!!" Posh barbie replied.
The doll house was large and magical. It must have cost a fortune I thought, watching the vintage style and royal purple color. It opened from the back where I saw the small room and beautiful furniture.
" Oh, wow!!" Posh barbie said. We played dollhouse for quite a while when Michael came into the room and sat on Bria's bed.
"Hi, daddy" Bria said turning to face him
Daddy! I wondered why she was already calling him daddy. I turned to face him and it was really fascinating to watch his demeanor change every time he was around Bria. He became gentler. His eyes warm filled with admiration at his little girl.
"What are you guys doing?" He asked Bria and I. Wasn't it obvious
"I'm playing doll house with mommy." She told him, shaking Blair at him. She stopped abruptly and I heard the tell tale sign of a coming asthma attack. I jumped up from the floor searching for her inhaler. As Michael panicked rushing to Bria as her lack of breath had her to the floor gasping.
"Where is her inhaler?" I asked Michael searching around her room. I hated not knowing where her stuff was.
"On the dresser." He said as he held Bria in his arms as he gently stroked her hair. I found the inhaler and rushed to her, placing it in her mouth taking to the count of four I slowly expelled the air that smelt like chemicals in her mouth. I came to love that smell that helped my baby breathe. Bria's breath steadied Michael still clutching her as he kissed her little head.
Our eyes met and I saw how panicked he felt. I had come accustomed to her asthma attacks but it never got easier for me seeing my child suffer through it.
Michael placed on her bed still gently stroking her hair.
"Mummy can you stay with me?" Bria asked her voice slightly hoarse and I nodded as I climbed the bed and lay down beside her. I pulled her close as I nestled my head to her hair which smelt like strawberries. Micheal left after a while as I soothed my girl to sleep. Once she was asleep I got up and slowly left her bed trying my best to be silent enough to not wake her. I headed to my room and Micheal stood by the door waiting for me. His head hung low as if he was deep in thought.
"Is she sleeping?" he asked when I was near him and the door.
"Yes," I replied as he looked up to me his eyes were tear filled.
"I don't know how you can do it." he folded his hands into a fist slamming it against the wall in front of him with a loud bang the wall creaked and cried.
"Micheal," I gasped at the brutality as the wall had a dent in it with the force of his fist. My eyes trail to his fist as blood oozes out leaving little droplets on the floor.
"Micheal you are bleeding," I informed him he didn't care his eyes were on me and they were sad as he tried holding back his tears. Seeing Bria sick is breaking his heart. I know it is.
I took hold of his injured fist the stop layer of skin was missing and told him I was going to take care of it and follow me into the kitchen. Still silent he nodded as he burned holes into me with his intense gaze.
Warming a soft white cloth under the faucet I wrung it out and walked back to Michael who was sitting on the stool around the island. I placed it on his fist gently wiping away the blood.
" I remember when she was born." I began. " she was so tiny she had been born a month early due to me being so stressed out about everything that happened. I did not not have you with me nor my mother; I was so alone." tears starting streaming down my face as Michael looked on silently.
" and then when she was two she had her first attacked I was so scared I thought I was going to lose her. I blamed myself because if i were healthier during the pregnancy maybe she wouldn't suffer from her asthma." My pursed lips and I forgot how handsome he looked and how nice it felt to have him near me. Just talking with the fear of him getting upset and violent. Taking hold of my hand he stopped me from wiping his bruised fist and pulled me so close that I was mere inches away from his full soft lips.
"I can't do it anymore," he said softly
"Do what?"
"Pretend that I do not love you." he replied as he pressed his soft lips into mine.