I was delighted to hear that everybody made it out ok without even a scratch on them. Now we are gathered again at the meeting room after i served them dinner. Tomorrow would be when Tatsumi escapes Esdeath and then Stylish would attack Night Raid's base. Now that i have shown my forces as a threat to the jaegers i need to so with Night Raid as well. They will never expect the sheer number of paladins and phantoms i'm sending. Anyway i need to think of something to do with all the free time currently in our hands.
Me: Excellent work folks, with that encounter we're sure to make the jaegers somewhat paranoid about us in the near future.
Ieyasu: Heck Yeah! Let's celebrate!
Me: Not yet, we still have about 2 to 3 more missions before we can relax for awhile.
Ieyasu: Oh.....awww...
Sayo: Honestly is there anything else you think about other then partying?
Ieyasu: Hey for your information i care about training too!
Sayo: You didn't look so enthusiastic about it after Victor kicked you into the wall consecutively.
Ieyasu: At least i didn't scream when i saw a Jackaleo for the first time unlike you!
Sayo: Why you *lunges at Ieyasu and starts brawling*
Spear: Are they always like this?
Me: I think so?
Sheele: Hmm...i don't get it...why would we want the jaegers to see us as a threat.
Me: Because if we prove ourselves to be a big enough menace, they might just start teaming up with Night Raid.
Chouri: How would that help us at all?
Me: It doesn't but it helps the situation in general. In this world only those who wield teigus are considerably dangerous so naturally they are our priority. Besides, by teaming up with each other, Night Raid and Jaegers would eventually unite against the empire one way or another when they realize our goals.
Chouri: Sounds a tad too risky for my taste but you're the mastermind after all.
Me: I think you're more fitting of that title, i can't fucking beat you at chess...
Sheele: So what are our current objectives.
Me: You all will participate in an attack on Night Raid's base tonight. They won't be our main objectives but rather the Jaeger that would have the same idea as us, Dr Stylish, who has been known to conduct inhumane experiments. However, that is for later, now why not go for a walk around the capital?
Spear/Sayo/Sheele: Shopping time!
Me: Why do i feel like i'm going to regret this?
Chouri: You have no idea of the horrors you have unleashed...
[3 hours later]
I'm really regretting suggesting this. People on the sidewalks would always shoot us a look when we walk by. How could they not when they see 3 mobile mountain of shopping bags. I will never understand women and their needs. Ieyasu was struggling to hold his load while i casually carry mine though it's quite annoying when i keep bumping into a wall every 5 minutes. Surprisingly, Chouri was walking without any issues, turns out the guy has been doing yoga and damn is he buff for a man near his sixties.
Ieyasu: Why *huff* Do you need so *huff* much!
Sayo: I don't expect someone like you understand the delicate desires of women.
Chouri: Spear my dear did you really have to buy 3 bags of makeup?
Spear: hehehe...
Me: You're lucky i have a near infinite bank account.
Sheele: I could go for some food right now.
Me: We're putting all of this away first, it's too bulky to fit inside a restaurant.
I didn't pay attention to my surroundings while talking and accidentally knock someone over. Judging by how light they were and how high pitched the "EEP!" was i think i may have assaulted a child. Shit! Hoping that i haven't made myself look like an asshole, i peek around the bags to see 3 a little girl on the ground and her two friends helping her up. The one on the ground is a girl with long pink hair with her bangs hanging just above her pink eyes with her friends being a girl with shoulder length golden blonde hair and amber eyes and another one being a girl with neck length dark blue hair and light blue eyes. They all wore raincoats of their own colors with matching boots. Hold on a minute. Isn't this Air, Fal and Luna? They were supposed to with Bach who would you know, do dark fucked up shit like nearly everybody else in the Akame ga kill universe. They all seem tired, but i don't see any wounds of sort other then their clothes being a little grimy. I guess they managed to flee before Bach could get his hands on them.
Spear: Yosif what's the the hol-*sees the three little girls*EEEE THEY'RE SO CUTE!
Ieyasu: Ow my ears!
Sayo: What is it Spe-*also spots the children* OH MY GOD AREN'T YOU THE MOST ADORABLE ANGELS!
*CRASH* And that was the sound of me being trampled over by 2 overhyped lolicons, *crack* make that 3 lolicons as i feel Sheele stomps on my spine to catch up with the others. Chouri just puts a hand on my shoulder silently apologizing for Spear's behavior while Ieyasu is...scared? Why would he be afraid unless...uh oh, fuck me please don't tell me that they're about to do what i think they're going to do.
Spear: What's your name sweetie?
Air: I-I'm A-Air, that's my friend Luna and Fal, uh what are you doing miss?
Sheele: *looks at Air* She looks just like Mine...Cute!
Sayo: Look at those bunny ears! If she's getting any cuter then i'm going to faint! *Luna sneezes like a kitten* AAAHHH *faints on the ground*
Spear: Where are your parents?
Air: W-we don't have any.
Spear: WHAT!
Air: We were sold by our village because they were in debt. A meanie named Bach got us and i overheard him planning to d-do h-horrible t-things to us. S-so we ran. *starts to tear up*
Spear: UNACCEPTABLE I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! YOSIF!
Me: What?
Spear: We're adopting these poor girls.
Me: What the hell you can't just expect me to pick children off the streets like a goddamn pedophile! We can't afford to jus- *Spear and Sheele use puppy eyes. It was super effective* I-they-no-we can't-STOP GUILT TRIPPING ME! *puppy eyes intensify* FINE! We're adopting them are you bloody happy now?
Air: Really mister?
Me: *sigh* Yes, follow us, you'll see your new home soon. Sheele go grab Sayo so we can go back. The things i do for you...
Chouri: You didn't have it as bad as me kid. When Spear was 5 she wanted a puppy so bad that i had to go into fasting for 3 days to get her one. Not to mention how much she cried when it passed away...
Me: Being a gentleman is tough isn't it?
Chouri: Look on the bright side, you have an excuse to further torment them in their trainings now.
Me: Maybe i'll do just that but not now though.
[Back at base]
Me: Your rooms are still being built right now so for the time being you would be staying in my room and i'll take the couch.
Fal: Wow this place is huge!
Air: Fal don't act so rude!
Luna: *looks at me skeptically* what will we be expected to do everyday?
Spear: What are you talking about?
Luna: What chores do you require us to do?
Sheele: Oh you don't need to, Yosif's knights handle all the work, you could help out in the kitchen if you want.
Me: Since when were my knights butlers for you?
Sayo: The moment we decided to adopt them.
Me: You mean the moment YOU decided to adopt them.
Ieyasu: I get that it can get troubling but why are you so against the idea Yosif?
Me: Why don't you go play in the garden kids *a knight walks in and leads them away*. Have you forgotten about the fact that we're going to be targeted by both Night Raid and Jaegers. They may have a sense of morals but collateral damage can easily occur at any time and if the kids happen to be there then you can already guess what comes next.
Sheele: Oh...
Me: That being said, i'm not going to give up so easily on them. I'll set up a safehouse in the North should the base be compromised. At the first sign of assault you are to take the girls and flee as fast as you could, Victor and Sergei will ensure that you all are safe.
Spear: Thanks for understanding Yosif.
Me: What are your opinions regarding our identities?
Chouri: I don't think they'd be able to handle that.
Me: I'm pretty sure we can convince them that what we're doing is right but how would they react when they see my real face?
Chouri: That is certainly a tough one. You can't keep secrets from them forever so i suggest bonding with them before eventually revealing truth.
Me: Well ok then let's move onto our next problem.
Spear: What problem, the mission?
Me: No....WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE STORING ALL OF YOUR SHOPPINGS!
The massive mounds of bags laid behind me were taking up more than half of the living room partially blocking the front door as a few items fall on top of my head. I can feel my nonexistent eyebrows twitching in irritation as the girls sheepishly fidgets in place. I'm going to need a lot of vodka for this sort of shenanigans.
[EXTRA OMAKE]
The two side clashes as the army of endless elites cut down Stylish's soldiers with Night Raid watching from their base eating popcorn.
Tatsumi: Shouldn't we be fighting?
Najenda: Yes, but let them do it first and maybe we can pick off the remaining enemies.
Akame: *crunch* Does that cloaked figure seems familiar?
Bulat: Yea they keep crossing their knives like scissors before cutting almost like Sheele. It can't be her right?
Mine: Of course it's not her, it'd be ridiculous if she is working for the legion.
Suddenly the cloaked figure wielding Black Marlin freezes in place before yelling "STOOOOOPPPP!" Everybody else turns to look at her awkwardly.
Spear: YOSIF! WHO'S WATCHING THE FIRLS?
Yosif: I told Chouri to do it.
Chouri: i need to be here to lead the army while you handle Stylish so i passed it to Ieyasu.
Ieyasu: Eh i asked Sayo to do it.
Sayo: Lazy bum...i wanted to fight more so i asked Sheele to look after them.
Sheele: I think i passed it to...Victor and Sergei?
Yosif: *looks in the sky seeing Victor and Sergei* But both Sergei and Victor are ordered to be here for the fight.
Spear: Wait if all of use are here... THE KIDS ARE ALONE! HANG ON GIRLS MAMA IS COMING!
With newfound vigor and determination, Spear bulldozes her way through the battlefield with blinding speed. Night Raid have no words regarding what they have just heard along Dr Stylish who also stood there dumbfounded. The tense silence was broken by Akame.
Akame: You guys have kids?
Yosif: They're adopted, don't think too much about it.
Leone: Huh, neat.
And just like that everything turned into a clusterfuck again as everyone tries to forget the bizarre event that has transpired.
Total inventory:
Grenade launcher
Venus Magnum
Ascended Wraith set
Primordial's wrath: Damascus
Almighty Five Sights: Spectator
Diadem of supreme arcane might
15 copper 53 silver 38872 gold
Current familiars:
- Sergei the Armor Demon
- Victor the Soul Of Cinder