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Chapter 7 - BINGO

Jimmy and Mike return Abbasi's notebook.

JIMMY: I'll I will take that as a yes. Very well. Mystery solved.

DETECTIVE ABBASI: You know, I could take you into custody right now, you son of a bitch. Both of you.

JIMMY: Whoa, whoa. Where's this coming from?

DETECTIVE ABBASI: You're the one who spilled the coffee, you ambulance-chasing piece of shit!

JIMMY: Can we dial it down, you know, just a notch? Look, 45 minutes ago, I'm sound asleep. I get a call from Mr. Ehrmantraut. He's concerned. He's getting threatening voicemails from you accusing him of petty theft. I tell him, "hey, we're gonna nip this in the bud. I don't care what the hell time it is. We're gonna go talk this thing out." And walking across the parking lot, just now boom there's a notepad, plain as day, lying on the asphalt, where I can only surmise you accidentally dropped it, Detective. Now, guys, that's that's all we know.

DETECTIVE ABBASI: Let me tell you something, Slick... wait till I get you back to Philadelphia.

JIMMY: I'm confused. The state of Pennsylvania can extradite people for returning lost property? Wow, that is one bold legislature.

DETECTIVE ABBASI: Anything you want to say to me about what you found in here? Hmm? Now that it's all out in the open? Maybe your daughter-in-law maybe she's got something to tell me.

MIKE: Maybe. Maybe not.

DETECTIVE ABBASI: Yeah, we'll see. First thing tomorrow I mean, you got to figure she wouldn't reach out to us if she had nothing to say. Hopefully, whatever you are didn't rub off on the rest of your family.

Jimmy finds Chuck standing outside his home claiming to be building up tolerance to electromagnetism.

CHUCK: 112, 113, 114...

JIMMY: Holy shit! What are you doing?

CHUCK: Shh! 115, 116, 117, 18, 119... 120. Go! Go! Inside!

Jimmy stores case files at Chuck's house, hoping to rekindle Chuck's interest in the law.

later Jimmy brings Kim to an office suite .

Jimmy: James McGill. Scott said he'd leave the keys to 801, the suite that's for lease.

LOBBY GUARD: Here you go. Just bring them back when you're done.

JIMMY: You got it.

KIM: Wow, this is, like really nice.

JIMMY: Why do you sound surprised?

KIM: Not surprised, no. Just, you know, could you afford this?

JIMMY: Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Those seniors have been very good to me. I've been meaning to expand, you know? It's time to invest in myself. Figure this may be just the place.

KIM: Well, won't you miss the nail salon?

JIMMY: Oh, I can always visit, you know, get some French tips.

KIM: It's big lot of offices.

JIMMY: Yeah, I like the openness. I feel like I can breathe in here, you know? It's not some claustrophobic, little closet that smells like acetone. Room to grow. Dream big, I say.

KIM: I love it.

JIMMY: Got to look successful to be successful. Am I right?

KIM: Well, this definitely looks like success. Great view. Get you a big, fancy desk in here.

JIMMY: Cocobolo desk.

KIM: A what?

JIMMY: I don't know what it means, but I just like saying the word cocobolo.

KIM: Okay, well, whatever it is, you deserve it.

JIMMY: And, uh, I want you to see this one.

Jimmy takes Kim to the corner office.

JIMMY: Here we are.

KIM: Whoa. This is way better than the other one.

JIMMY: You think?

KIM: Uh, yeah. Who goes in here? 'Cause I'd be all up in here if I were you.

JIMMY: Yeah. Yeah, you know, you're right. It is real nice.

KIM: It's a corner office. You got to go with the corner office.

JIMMY: Eh, I was saving it for someone.

KIM: Who?

JIMMY: Well, my partner.

KIM: Your partner? Who's... Who would that be?

JIMMY: Well, you said you were interested in elder law.

KIM: That's... That is so... Thank you. Really. But you know I've got a lot invested at HHM. With what's going on now, I'm closer than ever to partner like, maybe two years, and I'm in.

JIMMY: Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's... it's just a thought.

KIM: Plus, you know, they put me through law school. I feel like I owe them. Actually, I do owe them literally, you know? But it's a nice thought, Jimmy.

JIMMY: Just, uh, you know, playing with ideas. So, I had the extra office and everything, so. Yeah.

KIM: Yeah. No, I get it. It's... I want to see the kitchen.

Kim leaves the office looking for the kitchen. Jimmy stays alone looking out the window.

KIM : Wow! They have stainless in here. I don't even have stainless at home.

Kim meets with Betsy and Craig Kettleman and proposes a plea deal that includes return of the embezzled $1.6 million and 16 months in prison for Craig. Since losing a trial would mean 30 years in prison, she recommends Craig accept. Betsy refuses, maintaining her husband's innocence and denying there is any money to return. The Kettlemans fire Kim and hire Jimmy,

Jimmy sits down at a table with the Kettleman.

JIMMY: Déjà vu. Hello, again. Good to see you.

CRAIG: Nice to see you.

JIMMY: So, how may I be of service?

BETSY: Well, we would like to hire you as our attorney, Mr. McGill.

JIMMY: Wow. Really?

BETSY: However, we have certain conditions, and these are not up for debate. We want no jail time. Zero. Craig is innocent, and we expect you to prove that. We won't see his name smeared like this any longer.

JIMMY: Um, can we back up just a scooch? 'Cause last time we spoke, you were very enthusiastic... you were positively insistent about being represented by HHM.

BETSY: Well, uh. We've parted ways.

JIMMY: May I ask why?

BETSY: We disagreed with their defense strategy.

JIMMY: Okay.

BETSY: They treated us like we were guilty.

JIMMY: So, your previous objections to my representing you are now...

BETSY: Oh, I'm sorry about my bluntness at our last encounter.

CRAIG: Unfortunate.

BETSY: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I...

CRAIG: But we really we're very sorry about that.

BETSY: We thought long and hard about it, and, um, we....

CRAIG: And, you know, given your passion and your can-do attitude. We really.. we just believe that you're the lawyer for us.

BETSY: For us, yes.

JIMMY: Well, as flattered as I am by this, um, since we last spoke, I've changed my area of specialization, so I concentrate on elder law now.

CRAIG: But, I mean, you said that you would fight for us. Yeah, you were you were adamant.

BETSY: You promised to get us a not-guilty verdict.

JIMMY: I don't think I exactly promised that.

BETSY: You said we would be client number one, morning, noon, or night.

JIMMY: Yes, and I meant what I said, at the time, but times change.

BETSY: But we've already paid you a retainer.

JIMMY: Right. A retainer.

BETSY: That is what you called it. That was your specific terminology.

JIMMY: It... could you excuse me for a moment? I, uh, had a big gulp on the way over.

CRAIG: Ohh.

Jimmy enters the bathroom and pulls out his cellphone, dialing Kim.

KIM (On phone): Hey.

JIMMY (On phone): Hey, there.

JIMMY (On phone): Funny story. I found something that belongs to you... again.

KIM (On phone): Yeah? What?

JIMMY (On phone): Who? Picture "The 25th Hour", starring Ned and Maude Flanders.

KIM (On phone): Oh, Christ. The Kettlemans?

JIMMY (On phone): You lose any other clients today?

JIMMY (On phone): Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Cuckoo Bananas just offered me the plum job of defending them.

KIM (On phone): They came to you?

JIMMY (On phone): Yeah, I know. I don't know what you did to piss them off, but it must have been good.

KIM (On phone): What did they tell you?

JIMMY (On phone): Not much, just, uh, that you treated them like they were guilty.

KIM (On phone): Jesus. Look, Jimmy I know... I know this is a lot to ask, but you have to convince them to come back to HHM.

JIMMY (On phone): I do, huh?

KIM (On phone): Yes. Please. It's important.

JIMMY (On phone): What's it worth to you?

KIM (On phone): Jimmy, I'm serious. They left because they think they can win this case, but they can't. I managed to scrape together from practically nothing, I might add a deal they should feel lucky to have. This is their absolute best bet. Please Make them understand it's better for them if they come back.

JIMMY (On phone): Tell me about this deal.

BETSY: Elder law?

CRAIG: I don't know what that is.

BETSY: Yeah, me neither. Elder. Do you think...

CRAIG: Maybe if we were old.

JIMMY: Sorry. Whoo! The mysteries of the bladder.

CRAIG: Right?

BETSY: So, how do we get started? Do you need us to sign that little paper?

JIMMY: I am I am very sorry, but I'm afraid I can't take your case. My schedule is just it's just chock-full right now. I highly encourage you to go back to HHM. I'm certain they would welcome you with open arms.

BETSY: No, we're not going back there. They were incompatible.

JIMMY: I understand. They asked you to face some harsh realities, and I get it no one likes that. But bottom line here Kim Wexler is a fine attorney. She has a great relationship with the D.A. Much as I'd love to sing my own praises, I doubt I could get you a deal as good as the one she already has.

BETSY: Okay, we don't want a deal. We want you, our lawyer, to exonerate Craig.

JIMMY: "Exonerate"? That is, uh that is a big word, particularly in your case.

BETSY: Yeah, there will be no deal. There is no money with which to make a deal.

JIMMY: We can we all three just parachute down from cloud cuckoo land? 'Cause we know, without question, there is money.

BETSY: No, there...

JIMMY: I distinctly remember a spirited game of tug-of-war over this money, money which we then discussed at length.

You made many excuses justifying your possession of said money. It's there. It exists.

BETSY: But...

JIMMY: S-shh. Now, just please, for my own sanity... You can't hide a big bag of cash forever, and you certainly will never be able to spend any of it. So, go back to HHM, apologize to Ms. Wexler, and for Christ's sakes, take the deal.

BETSY: If there were any money.

JIMMY: Lady, enough!

BETSY: If there were any money, there would have to be a full accounting of it. Every penny would have to be present every single penny. You understand?

CRAIG: All of it. That includes the $30,000 that you...

BETSY: Craig, yes, he gets it. We're in this together, Mr. McGill Come what may. Now, where do we begin?

While picking up records from HHM, Jimmy discovers Kim has been demoted as a result of losing the Kettlemans as clients.

Jimmy enlists Mike's help, and Mike sprays a fluorescent liquid on cash taken from Jimmy's bribe, which he plants outside the Kettleman house. The Kettlemans find it, assume it came from the embezzled money, and add it to the rest of the cash in their hiding place. Mike breaks in and uses a blacklight to trace the money to a false bottom in a bathroom cabinet. He leaves with the cash,

JIMMY: Jesus. Gets bigger every time I look at it. Thanks for not heading to the Bahamas with this.

MIKE: What are you doing?

JIMMY: "The right thing." You know where you're going?

MIKE: Yeah. Am I correct in assuming we're now square?

JIMMY: Square.

Jimmy has him deliver it to the district attorney.

The next day, Jimmy visits the Kettlemans.

JIMMY: Good morning.

BETSY : Who is it, Craig?

CRAIG: Oh, it's Mr. McGill! Good morning. Come on in.

JIMMY: Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Last time I was here, it was, uh, well, not a contender for the cover of good housekeeping... that's for sure.

BETSY: Do you have news about our case?

JIMMY: I do, in fact. But before we get to the nitty-gritty, I think we should chat about your deal.

BETSY: Ah. We told you there will be no deal.

JIMMY: You did, didn't you? However, circumstances have changed.

BETSY: What circumstances?

JIMMY: To answer that, um, might I suggest that you go check on that money you insist you didn't take?

JIMMY: In the upstairs bathroom, under the sink?

CRAIG: Wait. How could you... Betsy!

When they discover the money missing,

BETSY : No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No!

CRAIG : It's okay. It's okay, Betsy. It's got to be... No. It's got to be in there somewhere.

Betsy looks over the banister to Jimmy.

BETSY: What did you do with it?

JIMMY: By "it," you mean...

BETSY : Where is it?!

JIMMY: Oh. You mean the money. Uh, let me see. Uh, it's, uh, on its way to the D. A.'s desk right about now.

BETSY: What? You oh, you thief!

JIMMY: Takes one to know one, doesn't it?

CRAIG: He took it? How did you take it?

JIMMY: A good magician never reveals his secrets. Now, here's what we're gonna do.

BETSY: Oh, you don't tell us what to do. You stole from us. We'll... we will have you arrested.

JIMMY: I can see how upset you are, and, even on a good day, you and logic are (whistles) but think about what you just said. Criminals have no recourse, and you two... you're criminals, big-time.

BETSY: How dare you?

JIMMY: Luckily, you have a very talented lawyer who has found a way to minimize the damage you've brought upon yourselves.

BETSY: Oh. Oh, you're fired.

JIMMY: Oh, I quit already. No, I'm talking about Kim Wexler. Now, you're gonna go back to her, you're gonna apologize for your hasty decision to terminate her services, and you're gonna fall on her mercy and take that deal.

BETSY: We'll tell... about the bribe you took.

JIMMY: You could do that. You absolutely could. And I'd be in a mess of trouble... a real pickle... but so would you, Mrs. Kettleman. 'Cause right now, only Mr. Kettleman is on the hook for the whole embezzlement kerfuffle. But the bribe we're back to calling it a bribe? Yeah, that implicates you, as well.

CRAIG: It does not. It was all me.

JIMMY: No, it wasn't. I'll make sure everyone knows that. Look on the bright side, you know? They could work out some kind of inter-prison visitation program, the occasional conjugal. Maybe it won't be all bad. (to Mrs. Kettleman) You? you'll probably wind up running your own gang. Thing you folks need to know about me... I got nothing to lose. Christ, you should see my office.

The Kettlemans agree to accept the plea deal Kim negotiated, deciding that only one parent going to prison is their best option. Knowing he is now unable to afford a new workspace, A frustrated Jimmy returns to his prospective office to release his anger. Suddenly cellphone starts ringing.

JIMMY: (British accent) Law offices of James M. McGill. How may I direct your call?