Qian woke to the sound of crickets chirping low from the garden outside. How long had she slept? She couldn't remember.
She'd woken up so early that morning that by the time they'd returned two days later did she finally realize she'd stayed awake nearly the whole ride. At least it was quiet now. She was thankful for that; she thought.
Vy was exhausted when he finally got back, but hadn't been able to sleep as his mind was filled with thoughts of Qian. He wanted to see her. He had heard that she was unwell from some of the servants when he arrived, and it worried him.
Unable to take it any longer he got up. He'd take a walk around the garden and see how guarded her rooms were.
The courtyard was empty - devoid of servants - but the light from her lamp was softly glowing from inside, revealing her form lying within. Qian lifted her head, trying to reach for her leg weakly as she realized the medication they'd drugged her up with only made her body feel heavy and slow.
Koto had them drug her, naturally.
Qian sniffed sharply, touching her freshly bandaged ankle. He knew she'd get the pain medication for it later. Bastard. Qian clenched her teeth as tears fell down her face. The carriage ride had been insufferable, but at the very least she didn't have to endure anything after.
It was a relief to see there was no one watching. He watched her form, and he felt the need to see her even more. Walking up to the doors, he knocked lightly.
Qian jerked her head up to the door and she couldn't tell what was outside since it was dark. "Who is it?" she asked defensively. If it was Koto again-! She felt herself go rigid.
"Vy," he whispered.
She wondered if now was a good time for him to see her like this. She wasn't even certain of the state of her ankle now, after Koto had squeezed it so tightly. The thought of the memory was painful. "Vy?" she whispered back. "What are you doing here? You might get caught."
Honestly, she didn't feel very secure right now.
He slid the door open carefully and slipped inside. "I was careful. I wanted to-" he froze seeing her. He thought the servants meant that Qian was just sick, not… injured. He came over to her side quickly and bent down. "What happened?" he asked, pained for her.
She didn't want to tell him out of shame. "Nothing." Qian looked away, feeling like she'd gone through enough when Koto made her beg to let her go and then- She sucked in her bottom lip, trying not to cry. "I'm fine. I walked too much, and the injury got worse so they had to re-wrap it and gave me pain medication." Her chin quivered at the lie.
He knew that wasn't all. Her reaction and then the hand shaped bruise on her face. "I-I'm sorry." He didn't push the matter. His father was such a terrible person.
"You don't need to be," she told him sadly, looking down. "It's my fault, anyway." She should have run away before they ever took her. Why didn't she listen to her brother?
"I won't let him hurt you again," he told her. He looked at her ankle. "What did he do to your ankle?" Hopefully he didn't break it.
So he could tell? Qian ran her hand over her ankle. "Don't make empty promises." she told him grimly. "It's nothing."
"Don't lie to me," he told her.
She shut up abruptly at that, and she felt a strong anger overwhelm her. "I'm not!" Qian insisted, looking up at him. "I can handle myself."
"I'm not saying you can't, but don't tell me it's nothing when I can clearly see it is."
She hated how right he was. "I thought we agreed I'd handle him on my own." she whispered silently, gripping the edge of the sheets. "What happened happened whether for better or for worse. It's not like anything I could have done would have made things any better."
"Had I been there, he might not have even tried," Vy frowned. He was so mad at his father. How could he treat her this way?
"He would have done it, anyway." Qian turned away, rolling over in the sheet. "If I never came here, I wouldn't be dealing with this right now." she whispered.
She was right. Had she never married his father, she'd still be at home and not dealing with his terrible father. But they also would never have met. "Qian, I will try, with everything in me, to keep him from doing this to you again."
He really was trying, but what would that amount to? "Vy, enough." she had just woken up not that long ago and she just wanted to feel better right now. It was no use trying to fight with Koto. He'd made his point.
Vy got quiet at that. He hated seeing her in pain and not being able to do anything about it.
"If there was anything I wanted at all, it's freedom. I don't want to be protected, I just want to be free." she sniffed, pulling the sheet up closer to her face to hide her tears. "There's no use of me being here other than being just a pretty thing used to make more pretty things. I have no substance to him or anyone in the court. My thoughts don't count. My character doesn't matter. As long as I'm obedient and satisfy his wants. I'm not allowed to have any as far as anyone else can be concerned with regarding my existence."
"I understand. The only thing I can give you then is the ability to be free around me."
She heard him and she smiled a little, unable to help herself. How could such a sweet person be the son of the man she had been forced to marry? Qian rubbed at her cheeks despite the soreness. "Yeah, I guess you're right." she breathed. "You've been pretty good about that."
He gave her a small smile. "I try. Do you need anything?" he asked her.
"Comfort." she told him, peeling the sheet back a little to peer out at him. Her face flushed warmly. "Will you hold me?"
He nodded and came closer to lie down beside her. He didn't want to hurt her more, so he faced her, laying an arm over her hip.
Qian pulled herself close to him, tucking her head under his outstretched chin to breathe in his scent. It was nice how calming it was, being close to him. "I appreciate what you're doing for me." she whispered. "You don't have to, especially since the circumstances wouldn't go well in your favor if they caught you with me."
"We don't need to worry about that right now" He pet her hair back and kissed her forehead.
Qian breathed out a nervous laugh. "That's what you say now." she whispered to him, keeping her eyes closed.
"Yes. Right now, I don't want to worry about anything. I just want to hold you."
"It'd be better if you held me forever." she corrected. "I think I'd like that best."
"I will certainly try." He gave her a light hug and rested his face on her head.
"Will you?" she asked, pulling her head away to look up at his face. Qian reached up to touch his face gently. "You're quite handsome, you know that?"
He looked down at her and smiled. "Thank you." He pressed his cheek into her palm.
"You're welcome." she told him, smiling more. She leaned in to kiss him and chills washed over her.
He closed his eyes and kissed her back gently, being mindful of her swollen face. He had only been away from her for two days, but it felt like so much longer. He missed her.
Qian winced lightly as his hand gently brushed over her cheek, and she shrank back. It was a lot more tender than she wanted to let on. "How was your trip back? I didn't see you come with us."
He sighed. "It was long and exhausting. I had to do some work for my uncle before I could leave."
"Is that something new you've had to work on?" Qian asked quietly.
"Yes. I had to translate some old texts for him."
"What was it about?" she asked curiously, laying her head on the pillow.
"It seemed like… Fables almost. I'm hoping to decipher more to get a better understanding."
"Tell me what you find first, yes?" she asked him, giggling a bit. "I want to know what the emperor's so eager to learn about before him."
"Well, there was a story about two foxes," he started and explained the story to her.
She listened to him talk about the foxes. "Why do we have a historical text about an old fox folklore?"
"I don't know. I found it odd too."
"Definitely," she breathed out, laughing under her breath. "I wonder what the emperor finds so interesting about some old fairy tales."
"That's why I'm interested to learn more." Surely eventually he'd find the answer.
Qian breathed in, relaxed. "You're quite an interesting man, Vy. Your adventures always seem to be filled with some sort of mystery. I wonder where you'll go when you finally leave the palace grounds." He wouldn't be here forever.
He smiled and leaned against her kissing her again. "It won't be for a while."
"Are you sure?" she asked him. "How old are you?"
"Nineteen," he told her.
"Seriously?" she giggled. "You're a baby compared to me then. I'm twenty."
"Oh such a baby," he laughed.
"Very!" Qian laughed back at him. "I could be your older sister, you know?" she joked.
"Hardly." He shook his head and smiled.
Qian snorted, tugging on his robe a little. "You're right." she blushed. "There's no way we could be brother and sister." Not with how they felt about each other.
He raised a hand to her hair and ran his fingers through it. "I missed you."
"Why?" she asked him quietly. "What's so special that makes you miss me?"
"Times like these. I don't get to laugh and cuddle with anyone but you."
"That's flattering." she murmured. "You know you could be cuddling with anyone instead of me."
"I could not." He smiled. "And I wouldn't want to."
"You're terrible." Qian laughed, patting his chest playfully. "But I'm glad it's you. Honestly. Nothing else makes this place bearable except you and I think I'd be jealous knowing what I know now."
He took her hand and brought it to his lips. "I won't be with anyone else." he promised her.
"Promise?" she asked him, staring into his eyes. "Even if they make you marry?"
"I promise," he told her. He could choose not to marry right away.
"If you lie to me, I'll haunt you." she joked, sputtering a laugh. She knew that it wasn't his fault anyway.
He laughed. "Alright." There were worse things.
"You don't sound scared." Qian told him, "Aren't you afraid I might scare your poor wife to death?"
"Actually yes. Then I would have two ghosts haunting me."
"What? You already have one? No fair." she pouted, staring up at him as she lightly smacked his chest. "Who's my competition?"
He shook his head laughing a bit more. "There is no one else."
It took her a second to get his joke before she started to laugh. "Like I'm going to let your deceased wife haunt you after she dies.�� she smiled, covering her mouth. She sat up but a noise stirred from outside that startled her, making her turn.
"M'lady?" a voice called out from the screen door.
Qian sat up abruptly.
Vy froze and looked to the door. He slumped further under the covers knowing that if he moved away from where he was his shadow would be seen.
"Are you awake?" the maid called.
"I am." Qian got up quickly, tossing the covers off into a heap over Vy to limp towards the door. She opened it, startling the maid.
"You shouldn't be up, mistress. I only came to check and see if you needed your medication."
"Yes, that's fine." she told her, seeing it in her hands. She snatched it up. "Leave me be. I don't want visitors."
"I thought I heard someone." she interjected to Qian.
"Then you're mistaken." Qian told her firmly. "No one visits me here. Not even Koto." she slammed the door in her face, waiting for the noise of the maid's feet to shuffle away as she pressed her hand against the sliding door to hold her weight.
Vy sighed when the maid didn't press further. He pulled the covers off his face slowly and looked at her. That was close.
"Obnoxious." Qian muttered, cursing that they were almost caught. She looked back at Vy. Her heart was fluttering in her chest that she almost thought she might stop breathing. "It's fine." she whispered to him.
He nodded to her. "Do you need help?" He didn't want her limping about and potentially hurt herself more.
She held herself against the door. "Please." She told him, lifting her injured foot from the floor.
He got up then and walked over to pick her up. Walking her back to the bed he laid her down gently. "Let me get you some water."
Qian waited till he laid her down, and she stared at him as he told her that. "I'm fine," Qian gripped his sleeve. She felt her face flush a little from staring at him.
"Okay," he said softly and sat down next to her. He looked at her foot and saw that the wrapping had loosened when she had hopped over to the door. He moved and gently laid her foot in his lap and unwrapped the bandaging to try and redo it.
Qian watched him and she felt her nerves rise a little. "Vy, it's okay." She put her hand out, taking a shaky breath.
He noted her anxiety, but that only made him try harder to be gentle. He saw the bruising on her ankle and tried to keep his expression neutral despite his irritation about it. Slowly, he wrapped her foot back up snuggly allowing it to take some of the pressure off her. "Does that feel okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," she told him. "It's okay. Thanks for wrapping it." She tried to settle her nerves as she leaned back into the bed.
He laid her foot back down on her bed. "I won't hurt you," he reiterated to her. He understood her nervousness though, but he would continue to tell her anyway.
"It's just tender." she told Vy softly.
"I'm sorry." He wished he could do more to help.
She moved her foot aside, tucking her foot under the covers. "It's alright." She held up the medicine she had tucked between her breast and the robe. "I have pain medication just in case so if it's bad enough, I can take this. It's not your fault."
He nodded. "I hate seeing you hurt," he frowned.
"No use crying over one spilt vase." Qian shook her head. She reached over to take his hand. "At least we have each other."
He took her hand and squeezed it as he moved closer and laid down beside her. "True."
She snuggled up beneath him, staring at the doorway and a part of her really wished that she could run away. Maybe he'd leave with her unless- She tightened her grip on his hand a moment and looked back at him. "Vy, do you like it here?"
He held her close and relaxed again. "I like certain things."
"Would you miss it if you weren't here anymore?" she asked, hugging him as she stared at his sleeve.
He thought about it for a second, figuring out where she was going with this. "I would miss my cousins." He didn't want to tell her that running away wouldn't work.
"That's true." she closed her eyes. Qian leaned against Vy's chest, sighing. "I wonder if my family is worried about me." she whispered under her breath before tucking her face against his chest. "This is home for you, isn't it?" she asked Vy, trying to change the direction of her mindset.
"It's all I've ever known," he told her honestly.
"I suppose I'm no different, either. This doesn't feel like home to me and I've felt nothing but homesick since I came here." Qian told him, staring down at the sheets.
Slowly he ran his hand up and down her back. "Of course. They way you talk about your home I only wish I could see it too."
"I don't want to just see it, though." Qian told him quietly. She sighed, "Vy, I really miss my home. The more time I spend here, the more I begin to realize that I just don't belong anywhere at this place."
He nuzzled the top of her head. "There is a place. With me, walking the gardens in the light of the moon."
"Hidden away." she whispered sadly. Maybe he didn't understand her as well as she thought.
"That isn't what I meant." He frowned. "I don't want you to feel trapped here. I will give you everything I can."
"Vy," Qian sighed. She looked up at him, touching his face. He wasn't getting it. "You could give me all the riches in the world. Buy me all the foods of my native village and even seduce me into loving you but what you can't do is make others accept me." she cupped his cheek. "It's not the same."
He frowned. "Not everyone dislikes you." He was sure that if they could be more open with their relationship that Keelan and Siam would accept her.
"Who else likes you besides me?" Qian asked him, trying to humor the thought. She didn't know of anyone. Even the maids kept their distance, though she wasn't inclined to feel comfortable with them anyway.
"I'm sure Siam and Keelan would like you if they got to know you."
"What makes you say that?" she asked him softly.
"They're like brothers to me. We all have an appreciation for people with wit who can carry a decent conversation." Their grandmother made sure that they were better than their fathers.
"More so than your actual siblings?" Qian asked, settling into a more comfortable position in his lap. She leaned against his arm and drew circles over his chest.
"They are still young. Their main person of influence is their mother. I have tried to instill better values in them, but they're still young."
"That's fair. She's hardly palatable and with what she says, you'd just be challenging everything she tells them."
He nodded. "I try to have them look at things from different perspectives. I also don't treat them like little brats who are too young to understand things. I think in a way they appreciate that." It allowed him to have a little influence on them.
Qian nodded, yawning as she covered her mouth softly. "So what's your plan then? Wait for them to get old enough?" she asked him.
"They'll make their own decisions, I just hope I've shown them a different way to be." He looked at her and hugged her. "Are you tired?"
He sounded hopeful. Qian picked her head up. "A little." she told him.
"Should I leave you to sleep then?"
"Will you stay for a while if I do?" she answered, overlaying his question with her own.
He smiled. "I'll stay for a little while." He kissed the top of her head.
"Thank you." she whispered to him, closing her eyes. "You're quite comfortable. I just didn't want to try to sleep without you near."
He went back to rubbing her back slowly. That was a nice thing to hear. If only he could stay with her like this every night.
Qian fell asleep without a hitch. At first she started humming something in the lull of a gentle daydream before her voice stopped carrying any notes and only wisps of soft breathes flowed behind each exhale.
Vy closed his eyes and enjoyed holding her. She was so precious to him. Vulnerable and sweet. Kind and smart. He didn't want to leave her, but after a couple hours of watching her sleep he slid out from under her and slipped out to go back to his room.
Siam watched him appear out of the room. He was sitting out at the pond when he heard the door open and he looked up, watching Vy appear from the door. "I knew it." he whispered, skipping a stone across the pond.
Vy heard the stone bounce on the water and he turned his head to see what made that noise. He saw his cousin and sighed. What would Siam have to say about this?
"Is this what's got you so secretive?" Siam asked.
Vy walked over to him. "I suppose so."
"You can't keep doing this. Eventually you'll get caught." he told him, skipping another stone.
"She has no one else." He frowned.
"That's hardly an excuse." Siam stood up. "You know that if they catch you both, she'll get the brunt of the punishment."
"Then we can't get caught." He didn't like how childish that sounded, but he was already past the point of no return.
"Do you even hear yourself?" he asked him, looking up at him. This was serious.
He sighed and looked out at the pond. What could he say? "I love her."
"You'll kill her." Siam said bitterly. "And that's probably just as cruel as what our parents do to them. It's selfish." He stared at Vy, waiting for him to look at him.
"So I abandon her to be tortured by my father, alone." He couldn't.
"At least she'll live. If he finds out, he'll make it much worse for her. Vy, listen to me. You're being irrational."
"Will she?" he looked at his cousin. "You can promise me that?"
Siam felt a little pressed into a corner. Honestly, he wasn't so sure himself. "What could you possibly give her that's worth all the torment she could get after this?"
"Comfort. The freedom to be however she wishes." He took in a deep breath and looked back up to her room. "Confidence to push through even though all she wants to do is run away."
Real poetic. "Vy." Siam groaned, running his fingers through the back of his head. The short hair definitely felt weird.
"I can't, Siam. I have tried. Do you think I haven't already thought of what would happen if my father caught me?"
"You're an idiot." Siam looked at him, being straight. "And I would know. I've done probably the most between all of us to know what it means to be one."
Vy couldn't help the small laugh that escaped. "You're right."
Siam smirked, glancing down at the pond. "Has my old man given up yet?" he asked him.
"Partially, it seems."
"Good." Siam smirked, crossing his arms. "He'll be lucky if he can find me. I know this desert like the back of my hand."
"Are you going to tell Keelan?" he asked him.
"I'm debating on it." Siam looked down, frowning. "He takes to my old man's bullshit pretty well and sometimes I swear that's about all that sets us apart from each other."
"Thank the gods you two aren't just alike." Vy rolled his eyes.
"What the hell does that mean?" Siam growled at him playfully. "You're the one who feigns innocence but is the real deviant obviously between us all. It's always the quiet ones."
Vy laughed. "I guess I've become the trouble maker."
"Keelan thought you were the goody-two-shoes but I always told him he overestimated you." he started to walk deeper into the garden. "So, what are you going to do? Just keep her a secret for the end of all time?" Surely he had bigger plans.
"I don't know. Maybe." He followed alongside his cousin.
Siam shook his head. "And to think, I almost thought you'd just turn into another barking dog in my father's schemes." he told him, looking up in the sky. "I guess not." he walked to the edge of the garden and stared over the edge down into the city.
Vy stopped next to him. "He's up to something." He sighed. He probably shouldn't be telling so many people, but he needed to confide in someone, someone who knew his uncle more. "He has me translating old texts. Forgien ones."
"That garbage again?" Siam wrinkled his nose at it. "It's just old folklore and tales." he muttered. "The only thing interesting about it was that there were a few birth records mentioned about some twins in it from the fox clan. It was interesting because it mentioned that there was a split tailed fox cast off from their tribe." He looked at Vy.
"Other than that, it muddled on about some sort of divine justice by the Goddess of our clan." he explained flatly. "And I stopped reading after it said something about truth serums and venom. It's all fables. Don't let him sucker you into that."
"I took it as such, but I can't exactly tell him no." He looked at his cousin. "It is interesting though."
"The only things that I really know where really interesting was the hidden temple out in the far east. It's said dragons live out there and I was anticipating going to see if it was true, but I guess I won't be doing that anymore." he told Vy, shrugging.
"My old man has been itching to see if there's some sort of medium power we have. I know that's what he's grasping at." He looked at Vy. "He won't find it though. There's nothing to be had. We don't have anything."
"Yeah, but what is he willing to do to get it?"
Siam thought about that and he felt his frustration build. He knew what. "Yeah, that's… Not exactly my favorite topic." he told Vy as he leaned over the edge to stare down into the city. "My old man doesn't have any morals." he told Vy. "I'm not like him though." Siam looked at Vy. "Spending that time in the library I guess did do me some good after all. I learned a thing or two I otherwise wouldn't have cared about."
"Knowledge is power," Vy smiled at him. "He said he would grant me anything I wanted if I helped him with this," he told him looking down again.
"You really believe that?" Siam scoffed.
"I'm not really relying on it, but it would be nice."
"What are you hoping he'll give you?" he asked him.
"I don't know. I'm not stupid enough to ask for Qian," he scoffed, even though that was the only thing he wanted.
Siam smirked. "So you do realize you'd be asking the impossible. Alright lover boy, what else?" he asked.
"I don't know. I'm still thinking about it."
"Better make up your mind before he forgets." He nudged him in the ribs. "Don't tell the old man I snuck up here. I plan to stay out with some friends for a while."
"Be careful, alright." He nudged Siam back.
"I will." he whispered back to his cousin. Siam nudged Vy once more. "Be nice to her."
"Of course,�� he smiled. There was a happy glow about Vy that had never been there before. He truly was in love.
Siam gave his shoulder a good smack, stepping away from the ledge before he walked further down into the garden. "I'll be seeing you soon again, cousin." Siam told him, slipping out of sight.
Vy nodded before turning to walk back to his rooms. He felt a bit better that Siam took the news well enough. He could trust his cousin.