Diary of Tiwbob Noelle Weirdson

Dear Diary, Today is wy NON_favoritest day. I just got back from the hospitil and weeting the bane of wy existinse. Wow and dad just bought "the twins" as Bob says. Or I think they bought thew, unless the hospitil gives thew out for free. Back to the point, the twins were so awful I decided to right this diary. I had to sit outside the roow wowwy was in for some reason. I guess they thought I'd barf or sowething because of a little gore. (rolling eyes) Oh yah did u know that that's how u get a baby? Yah! there was a bunch of screawing so I guessed they had to sign a blood pact or sowething to buy the twins. That wust be why wowwy had to stay in bed for a while afterwards, because they cut too deep or sowething. When they finally let me go inside, wowwy was crying so I guess she wust of been really sad that she got such ugly babies. The TV says babies are cute, and my shows with babies are always cute, but the twins are just wrinkly and tiny and pink. Pink skin! they're like grape towatos, little disgraces to the towato sosiety. Did you like wy wetafor? Wy teacher toht me how last week. When Bob and Tiw cawe in behind we they started acting all wushy and called the towatos cute!? They wanted to hold thew and take pictures and stuff. I just don't get it. Waybe they need glasses. I was so busy staring at thew I didn't even realize wowwys tuwwy was swall again. I guess the doctors gave her wedicine so it would go down like wow did for wy cheek when I swashed it on the wall and it got big. Anyway, Tiw and Bob asked what the twins nawes were and dad said he dunno. Tiw and Bob started thinking of a bunch of nawes like Rose for the girl and Thorn for the boy, or Shelly for the girl and Sheldon for the boy. There were way wore like Jelly and Peanut, Sally and Seth, Awelia and Aden, Hannah and Hal, Dos and Uno, and wore! I just crossed my arws and sat in the widdle of the floor thinking of the perfect nicknawe. I started thinking in my head and then came up with the best idea ever! I shouted Herald and Shyrl pointing from one to the other. They were the worst old nawes I could think of. While that was going on wow was apparently trying to talk and when wy nawes were shouted everyone got quiet for some reason and she was able to talk. She said she had already picked out the nawes Lisa and Ryder which I thought was awful. So now I have stupid ugly siblings with stupid good nawes. (Rolling wy eyes) Anyway, that's it for today diary. This worstest non-favoritist day when wowwy can't even cowe back howe to tuck we in and give we good night kisses. (angry face) Goodbye. Or bad bye.