I made a fool of myself…
It is never easy to say I love you, and when you say it, you better well mean it. You should say what you feel and mean what you say. Tomorrow is not a promise, so you need to say it today.
So I decided to take that risk. It was not so much that I was afraid to say I love you; I was more afraid of how she would react. The possibility that she was not going to say it was always there. The thing is that I love her even if she does not love me back.
So I have made my decision, definitely for sure this time. I am doing this; I am going back to redeploy. I played my hand in love, and I failed. I will instead stick to something I know I am good at.
It does not mean that my decision does not hurt. My heart is broken, I am broken, and she is broken. Sadly, you cannot have both of your dreams at the same time. If there were a way that I could do both, then I would be right there, taking both with open arms.
