It has been tough since I spoke to Isabella. I can honestly say that I have pushed Caylee away since then. Now, I wish I can say that I don't know why. But I do.
I still have feelings for Isabella.
Now, what feelings? I have been too scared to think about it. I have been too scared to explore my heart to find out what they are.
We have three months and a week to go; things have been what I expected. The excitement, the passion, and the risks. But what I have not expected is Caylee. Now, this is another feeling I am now scared to explore.
And that brings me to this. Why do I need a woman to make me a man? Why do I need a woman to make me forget about another? Not that I am saying that Caylee is a rebound, but I have heard the stories going around at camp.
Now Caylee and I have not gone all the way yet, and now more than before, I am asking myself why? What has changed that I don't desire her so badly?
I wish I knew all the answers.
