Stacey sat down in the chair she was led to and closed her eyes. She'd just seen those black high heeled shoes again. She felt as if she'd been beaten up and cursed.
"My lady, are you feeling well?"
"I'm fine," Stacey said with her eyes closed.
"Are you tired? If you want to sleep, you can sleep in a bed. We prepared one for you, just in case."
"No. I'm not tired," Stacey said. "I'm just trying to wake up."
"My lady, you're already awake. You aren't sleeping. You can open your eyes."
"I'm not sleeping? How did I end up on the stage? I was asleep and woke up on the stage. Don't tell me I sleepwalked. Did I sleepwalk? So everything up there, just now wasn't a dream? I'm not dreaming?" Stacey opened her eyes wide and pinched herself, panicking a little. "Ow. That hurt. I'm really not dreaming? And I just - on the stage - ooh, how embarrassing. Who performs the song that never ends for a serious performance?"
"You're really not dreaming, my lady," the man standing beside her in the aisle said.
Stacey stared at him, trying to remember where she had last seen him from.
"You look familiar. Do I know you? I do, don't I?"
"I'm the head of your guards, my lady," the man gave her a sad smile. "You call me Ning."
"Ning. Ning, right. I need to remember that. I mean, I should be able to remember that," Stacey muttered. She elbowed him and whispered behind her hand, "Ning, I think there's something wrong with me."
"Yes, my lady," Ning nodded. "You haven't been well."
"Is it an actual sickness or is there something actually wrong mentally, up there as well?"
Ning hesitated.
"Tell the truth," Stacey nudged him. "I'm a big girl. I can take it."
"Both, my lady," Ning said, looking worried.
Stacey took a few deep breaths.
"Ok, ok," she patted her chest. "It's ok. I'm ok. Am I ok?" she asked Ning.
"Yes. You're," Ning hesitated, "you're getting better. You're more awake and lucid more often these days."
"I keep seeing a pair of shiny black high heeled shoes. They have pointy toes and like to kick me. There's a woman with a sharp, nasal voice that keeps scolding me and telling me to get lost, that I'm not worth it and that I'm a waste of space. She says she should be Thieren's wife. Not me. Am I imagining things? Is it real or a dream? It's very unpleasant."
"A recurring dream, we believe," Ning said, looking troubled. "We hope or we've been negligent. We haven't been able to find any sign of injury on you. As for whether someone has been secretly drugging you, we're still waiting for your blood test results to come back."
"Someone's been drugging me?"
"You mentioned once that someone keeps forcing you to swallow tablets you don't recognise. We decided to get you a blood test just in case, although we don't know how anyone would have access to do that to you. We're with you almost 24/7," Ning said.
"Ok, ok," Stacey continued to soothe herself. "Something happened that made me go crazy, but this probably isn't the first time it's happened. I seem to remember going crazy before, so it's ok. I'll get better. I'm getting better already. I'll be better and better soon."
"That's right," Ning nodded.
"Alright," Stacey said, trying to suppress the unsettled feeling in her chest. She had an awful feeling that if she thought about it too long, she'd remember. When she remembered, the world might end. "Thank you. I'll watch the show now."
Stacey turned to look at the stage and then promptly fell asleep.
The next thing she knew, she was being shaken awake and she was being pushed in a moving wheelchair.
"Stacey, wake up. Come on. Stay awake. We're about to go up on stage now."
A plastic yellow cup was thrust into Stacey's hand. What was this for? Collecting lollies? Was she going to be given a drink? If she thought about it, she was a bit thirsty.
"What? What's happening?"
"It's the finale. The winners have their trophies and now, all the trainees who participated from the start are joining in to sing."
"Sing? Do I know the song?"
"Yeah," the people around Stacey laughed. "You introduced the song to us."
"I did?"
"It's the cup clapping song, the one that goes, 'you're gonna miss me when I'm gone'."
"I don't recognize it," Stacey shook her head, looking at the cup in her hand and turning it around.
"It'll come back to you later."
Stacey was sat at a table with her yellow cup. She looked around at all the other trainees with their cups, standing around tables. This looked familiar. She had dreamed it or something like it had happened before. She was at the wrong place.
Stacey stood up.
"Stacey, stay there."
"No, I'm at the wrong place," she shook her head and almost tripped on her toe when it caught on the ground. "I should be at the piano," she said.
"Where you are is fine."
"I should be at the piano," Stacey insisted.
The stage crew hurried over to see what was wrong and relayed what she said to Landen.
"Let her have the piano," Landen nodded. "The piano is free anyway."
Stacey was led over to the piano and her wheelchair was pushed off stage.
The triangle chimed and the trainees were tapped in by the stage director off stage. As one, they commenced clapping the cups in rhythm. Stacey watched for one round of the rhythm and followed them the second time the rhythm began again. She knew this cup clapping pattern.
She sang along with the other trainees as her memory of the song came back to her. No music had begun playing as yet and Stacey played the first chord on the piano as her muscle memory came back to her after the first chorus ended. She played the chords and used the cup to both play notes and the rhythm, concentrating on what she was doing while listening.
The band filled in the sound as the song continued. Stacey could hear the trainees clapping different rhythms that moved, melded and shifted with different sounds without missing a beat. She adjusted her playing to match them seamlessly, until the final chorus.
The rhythm stopped and the trainees all sang acapella. Stacey stood to join them and sing. Ken hooked an arm around her, leaving her cup behind at the piano and led her to join the rest of the trainees as they sang. Stacey was shocked for a moment. When had Ken arrived?
"... You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. Oh, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone."
The last note faded away and the auditorium was silent.
Stacey stamped a foot and began the body clapping dance that she remembered. The trainees around her joined in until the stage shook with their beat. They sang the chorus once more while clapping and dancing together in acapella one more time.
The mentors joined in as did some of the audience. The band kicked in and the lights above the stage swirled and twinkled. When the song finished, the band continued to play, but they played a different song while the trainees hugged and cried. Ken, Flail and Stacey's four former roommates surrounded her. Funny how she recognized these people. They must be important people.
"So who won?" Stacey asked them.
Vera and Zanity pointed people out to her and told her their names. Stacey didn't recognize any of them.
"They'll get a good contract and lots of opportunities and resources," Zanity wrinkled her nose. "A pity us lesser people didn't quite make it."
"We got an offer to join a farming variety show," Chastity reminded her, "and another for a stage based variety."
"It's a pity Stacey can't come with us," Zanity hugged Stacey.
"I think I'd be pretty useless," Stacey shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I have a feeling I'm asleep almost all day these days."
"That's true," Ken agreed. "You have been."
"You saw me?" Stacey raised her eyebrows. "I didn't see you."
"That's because you were sleeping, Stacey," Flail laughed.
Various people came and hugged and greeted Stacey. She accepted the hugs and greetings although she felt bewildered with all the noise and milling. So many voices talking and laughing and crying all at the same time. Stacey couldn't separate individual voices from the mash of sound.