Stacey's head ached. It ached like there was no tomorrow and that if it didn't make her feel pain now, there'd never be a chance for it to hurt this badly ever again.
Stacey's head throbbed. It throbbed like an old ute engine idling, except for every now and then when some hothead revved the engine because he thought the sound was cool.
Stacey's head buzzed. It buzzed like a chainsaw in the forest, whose sound echoed through the trees and vibrations shook the ground.
Never again, Stacey promised to herself. Never again was she going to try and kill herself by hitting her head on something or something on her head. It wasn't worth the failure. It hurt way too much.
It had been a stupid idea.
If everyone were really liars and out to find ways to use her, she had to find a way to escape their insidious influence. Basically, she just needed to get stronger to the point she didn't need them and they couldn't hurt her. Then she could show them what their false sincerity had resulted in. Mmm. A much better idea than killing herself. She must have lost her mind for a moment before.
Still, being stripped of dignity, independence, movement and speech were very trying on her patience. Maybe she needed to talk to somebody about it. No. She would talk to somebody about it.
And then she needed to talk to her 'husband' about his reaction to her losing her mind. He had restrained and spanked her. How was that meant to help? He'd done far worse to her during the berserker training. Had he forgotten that he'd pretty much trained her to attack with disregard to all else?
He had looked tired and cantankerous, but that was still no excuse for abusing her backside and taking his frustrations out on her. Her backside was still smarting and felt bruised. If he needed to beat something up, there were such things as sandbags. If he needed someone alive to attack, he could go to a gym and box or spar with someone. Why take it out on her when she was vulnerable and defenceless?
Despite her very upset and heavy head, Stacey felt the need to get up. Get up and move. She didn't want to keep lying here anymore. There was so much she wanted to say and do still. She wouldn't get anywhere by lying in bed all the time.
Stacey supposed to herself that she had really done the impossible. She'd knocked some sense into herself. Better that she'd done it herself than anyone else or she might hold a grudge against that person.
In some ways, Stacey felt better than she had before. All the pent up towers of frustration were gone. As if they'd been washed away. Her mind felt much clearer and cleaner than before. She supposed her temper tantrum had relieved her of all that pressure.
Unfortunately, beside the heavy and aching head, she also had swollen eyes, a blocked nose and a sore throat. Maybe she should just go back to sleep. Sleep would be good. If only she could fall asleep with all the hammering and renovations that seemed to be taking place in her mind.
Her movements brought people immediately to her side.
"My lady," said Elsa.
"My lady," said Ning in a quiet voice.
It was night time but there were still dim lights shining. Lights from the street lamps outside also shone through the white curtain of the window, making it glow. Stacey saw that Ning had a swollen and black eye, as well as a bruised cheek.
"Ning," Stacey greeted and paused to stare at her bodyguard's face. "I'm sorry."
She was slightly surprised and relieved to find that her ability to speak hadn't degraded and was still at the same level as before.
"Sorry for what, my lady?" Ning asked in the same quiet voice.
"Fell on you," Stacey said. "Hurt you?"
"Not at all," Ning shook his head. "I'm fine."
"Then why your face like that?" Stacey asked in her hoarse voice.
"This," Ning touched his swollen face and hesitated for a moment. "The master taught me a lesson for not taking better care of you."
"Sorry," Stacey shook her head and winced. Moving her head hurt, "and thank you."
"You're welcome, my lady." Ning gave her a gentle smile and patted her hand. "It's my duty."
"Not your fault," Stacey winced. "Even if there, not much you done. Could have done," Stacey corrected herself with some effort.
"My lady, I'm sorry I wasn't there," said Elsa in her cold soprano. "I'm sorry I couldn't help. You must have been feeling very uncomfortable. How are you feeling now?"
Seriously. Why did speaking just this small amount make her feel so puffed out and tired.
Stacey kicked in frustration.
"What's wrong, my lady?" Elsa asked, forehead wrinkled in concern. "Does your head hurt? Are you uncomfortable? Hungry?"
"Are you upset about anything?" Ning asked. "That happened today?"
Stacey felt the tears sliding down her face and into her hair. The tears irritated her even more.
"Head hurts," she mumbled. "Uncomfortable. Everywhere. Can't talk. Can't move. Can't think."
Stacey kicked again.
"Invisible. Visibly here but no cares. You're all liars," she huffed and then cringed at the rising intensity of her headache. She clutched her head and whimpered at the pain.
Elsa rushed out to find a nurse.
"We care," Ning told her, patting her back. "We do. We've got you."
"No voice. Can't talk," Stacey said through gritted teeth and it came out slurred, "so no opinion."
"What? My lady, I don't understand what you're saying."
"Opinion! Voice!" Stacey shouted at him and then clutched her head, curling up in the bed.
"Don't be angry. Don't be angry," Ning said in a soothing voice. "Calm down. You need to calm down. I heard you. Opinion and voice, right? I'll tell the others and reflect on what we've done wrong. I'm sorry. We're sorry. Just calm down and wait for Elsa to bring the nurse."