The therapists felt that the sessions the previous day may have been too intense for her and so she had a relatively easy day the next day. Stacey felt tired and out of it. She was having difficulty concentrating and kept tripping on her own feet. She didn't know why she felt so nervous and agitated.
When night came, a therapist came to sit and talk with her. Stacey didn't know what type of therapist they were. When she'd asked, they'd given her a term in Tadpole and she'd been too ashamed of herself to ask what it was or meant. Stacey hadn't expected them to send her someone to help her deal with her anxiety so soon. Were they what she remembered being called a head shrinker? There was another proper word for it. Why couldn't she remember? The therapist didn't shrink her head any. They just talked her through her fears in a soothing manner and stayed with her until Stacey managed to drop off.
At one point during the night, Stacey remembered half waking to find doctors and nurses working about her in a fluster. There'd been beeping machines and she had been gasping for breath that she couldn't seem to draw. She'd felt the bed being pushed, rushing through a corridor. Yet when she woke in the morning, everything was back to normal.
She just had a sharp pain in her head and a bad headache. The dressing on her head had been renewed when she touched it. The light pressure of her hand made her wince, wondering what was going on. Her chest ached as if she had run a race or done some sort of intense exercise the day before. Deep breaths both soothed and made the ache worse. It was an oxymoron but that was how it was.
Had something happened to her during the night?
Doctors and therapists came by in groups rather than one by one. Stacey was confused by their special attention and careful wording.
Ok. So something had happened. She just didn't know what and didn't dare to ask. She felt that perhaps it was better if she didn't know. The words they used was full of difficult Tadpole that she couldn't understand. There was no need to further expose her embarrassing lack of language ability. Not knowing anything, she could pretend that nothing had happened. In any case, they gave her the whole afternoon off. Stacey spent most of it napping. She slept through the night without any issues.
Therapy began again the next day but the sessions weren't all crammed together like before. They gave her lots of breaks and monitored her more closely than before. Before and after every session, a nurse would come by to take her vital signs again. Sometimes even during a session, they'd stop to check her heart rate and blood pressure. When they saw she seemed fine, the rehab intensity was marginally increased the next day.
The rehab intensity increased gradually, day by day until the medical team felt confident she would be fine to return to the program - but with multiple rest breaks built into her otherwise packed schedule. She still got tired easily. When Stacey returned, the program had already begun filming again three days before. She was the last trainee to rejoin the filming.
Stacey could feel all her teeth and muscles tighten up with anxiety at the thought of being filmed. Also, how she was going to participate when she knew nothing? When they told her that she would not be competing with the other trainees for the final prize, Stacey felt like a weight had come off her chest. That was good. She didn't have to try and win.
But then the weight came back. Even not competing, she was still part of the program for entertainment purposes.
She had to learn to sing and dance, act and do basic stunts. Stacey felt that attending classes was already pretty stressful, especially with all the Tadpole terms and weird music notation. Add to that the cameras constantly watching her and being told to look here, don't look there. React to this. Repeat that. There were so many eyes on her, causing her to fumble and stammer all the time.
Beside that, she was expected to still participate in all of the events, plus the ranking competitions, the streaming exams and all the elimination rounds in order to gauge her progress. If she did not rank well or was easily eliminated, she was told that she would be punished with a public spanking by her guardian - Thieren in her case. Or where he was absent, Marvel.
Way to motivate a girl.
Who decided that watching someone being spanked for failing on what was meant to be a family friendly variety show - well, competition, would be entertaining? Who? The thought of being smacked in public for the whole world to see was humiliating. Utterly degrading and damaging to her pride and self esteem. Were they hoping to witness a nervous breakdown on national television? How was that entertaining?
Stacey wanted to cry when she thought of it.
Participating in this program appeared to be a form of re-educating her and rehabilitating her in the public spotlight where everyone could see her strengths and weaknesses. Stacey didn't like the sound of it. Or the pressure. Every weekend, the public would vote on how she would be punished if she didn't rank high enough of pass the elimination challenge.
Stacey didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. But she no longer had the choice.