The days passed by and I found a lot to be both enjoyed in them and frustrated by them.
It was so good not to be alone. JaLin had somehow become a fixture of my life already and it certainly was a direct result of her efforts to do so.
She cooked for me. She mended my clothes. The house was always clean and she even helped me with the garden plots.
I'd never met a harder working woman. I respected her on an entirely new level other than just being a survivor.
Communication remained difficult, but we managed. I did have a problem though.
The desire to have her was driving me crazy, but how did you tell someone who couldn't even understand your language that the time to take your clothes off had come? I found myself reluctant to do so as sexual pleasure aside, I hadn't had such a companionable good time with someone since... ever. I didn't want to ruin that.
I especially didn't want her smiles to go away, but the desire to thrust deeply inside her and be one with her remained as a steady ache that was never far from my ever waking moment and that haunted me every night in my dreams. I just didn't know about how to go about getting what I wanted.
She was in many ways still a stranger and yet I trusted her implicitly. I looked up from the Bible passage I had been reading and saw her gazing at me from the kitchen.
She smiled at me and feeling irresistibly drawn I got up out of the chair and laid the Bible down. I gazed at it for a moment and then at her.
She'd gone back to washing dishes and slowly I approached her with intent. I'd waited long enough and yet I still didn't want to scare her.
I made enough noise to let her know I was coming. I stopped just behind her so close that we were almost touching.
Her hands had stilled in the water and with commitment to the moment I slid my hands down her sides to settle them about her tiny waist. She was a little thing, but beautiful in her proportions. Oh, so very beautiful!
I ached for her and to that end, I pulled her back to me, enough so she could feel just how much I wanted her. There was nothing stopping me from everything I wanted, but I wanted input from her.
Leaning down I pressed my face into the side of her neck and kissed her where her neck and shoulder met. I felt her shiver appreciably when I did that and the desire to have her doubled.
I'd been no saint in my earlier life, but since becoming a Christian six years ago I'd not had a woman and now the desire to have this woman, who was mine threatened to overwhelm me with the intense desire of it. Fighting hard to maintain order I focused on breathing evenly.
Gently guiding her to move off to the side a little I then lifted her up and turned her to sit on the countertop to the side of the sink. Her legs went to either side of me as I stepped in close.
I wanted her, but I wanted a consensus and not just a dictatorship on my part. She was breathing heavy and her face reflected nervousness for what was going down.
Sitting on the countertop she was at an even height for me now. Her eyes were on me and raising my hands, I framed her oriental face gently and held it poised for my kiss.
Her plush lips gave under mine and I belligerently swept my tongue into her warm mouth. I was losing control and as the sweet taste of her mouth registered to me I lost it completely.
I held her head still for my domineering invasion of her. I'd meant to be gentle, but instead I felt overcome by the need she inspired in me.
Tentatively at first and then resolutely I felt her hands slide around my back and then up to my shoulders. She in no way pushed away from me, instead her touch was a shy caress.
I pulled back, breathing heavy. She was too and then incredibly she smiled.
My shaft swelled even harder to be free of my pants and the strength of my desire for her was apparent. She glanced away from my pants with a blush to then tuck a strand of black ebony hair behind one of her perfect ears.
I didn't know where to go from here other than that we both needed a lot less clothing and that I needed to be in her. My eyes scanned down her torso to land upon her surprisingly curvy hips, only to lock upon the crotch of her jeans.
She'd been so embarrassed to wear these jeans at first and I'd rather gotten the impression that she'd never not worn a skirt in her life before. That said the imagery of her in these tight jeans had been one of the things persistently driving me nuts!
With my fingers shaking, I reached out and fumbling with the button loop I soon had it undone and the jeans unzipped. I glanced up at her as I began pulling them off her.
She hung onto the counter as the tight jeans slid free of her legs. Her eyes were bright, but not with fear. She said something softly and a tremulous smile came out before she leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.
That was all I needed and smiling I lifted her. With a little squeal she reacted a bit startled as I slid her down so her back was on the counter along with her head.
I held her gracefully formed legs up in the air against my one shoulder even as with my other hand, I grabbed a hold of her panties and forced them up and off of her legs. I forsook my view of her face as I let myself revel in the view of my wife's most private area as I coasted my hands down her legs until pressing on the back of her thighs I spread her legs wide apart.
Her legs were somewhat resisting of the full exposure of her that I was engineering, but I easily overcame her resistance and then with hunger as I held her down with my big hands at the back of her knees, I lowered my head and licked my tongue up the full length of her very sweet, but tight looking sheath.
She was wet for me already and I feasted on her musky scent by spearing my tongue deeply into the wet slit of her womanhood. She squirmed beneath me, but I went about tasting her all the more as I licked and kissed my way around my playground of newfound delight.
She bucked beneath me as I wetly kissed the swollen bud of her clitoris forward of her sheath and then she cried out with a moaned wail as I began to forcefully manipulate her center of pleasure with my warm tongue. Her fingers speared into my hair, even though I knew I was probably giving her too much stimulation, as to be almost painful and yet her hands did nothing to stop me and her open submission to me inflamed me all the more.
I channeled my approach to bring her pleasure and so I continued by indirectly moving my tongue about her pleasure bud, only to continually bring it back with rhythmic force directly focused upon it. She screamed, clutching hard at my head, but I didn't stop and soon she came again.
I wasn't satisfied though. Removing one of my hands from clasping the back of her thigh I poised my finger at her wet sheath and slid it in as far as it would go.
She bucked hard against my finger and I about came in my pants as she let loose with another orgasmic scream. She was so unbelievably tight about my finger!
Despite the passion of the moment and my almost being overcome I registered the fact of just how tight she was around a single finger of mine. I'd heard that oriental women were smaller, but now I had the proof of it.
I ached all the more to experience the squeezing clasp I felt clamped all about my finger carried out all along my shaft, but just as surely I knew that while taking her would bring me pleasure it would also likely bring her pain. I didn't want that, but I couldn't stop now.
Pulling my finger free of her with a sucking sound that made me groan, I lifted her to be pressed down over the top of my shoulder. Her warm thigh right next to my face was irresistible and I kissed it as I turned to head for the bedroom.
She was mine. Mine!
Lifting my free hand, I placed it over top of the halves of her bottom in a possessive fashion as the full reality of how much fun it was going to be to have her around from this day forward occurred to me in fast-forward relief. She hung over my shoulder unresisting and when I reached the bed I laid her down on it.
She wasn't a virgin, but I had expected that. The question remained though had she'd been raped?
My shirt already gone from me my hands went to undoing my pants that were about to burst apart at the seems, but all the while my eyes took in the fact of her closing her eyes and the action of her splayed apart legs closing quickly together.
Grimly, I reflected on the truth that she had a bad story of her own to deal with and right now I wasn't helping it. I couldn't help it though.
Reaching down I had to forcefully pull her thighs apart. That accomplished I got one knee in and then I was on the bed between her thighs, but she was a different person.
She was as stiff as a board and her eyes were so tightly shut that I feared she'd bruise her face. I glanced down and the imagery of my huge cock at the ready to plunge into the tightness that she was almost made me do so on the spot.
I so badly wanted to feel just how tight she was and make her stretch to fit all of me, but with a groan I admitted that I simply couldn't do it. I let my head fall to rest on the pillow to the side of her head as I held myself still above her.
Her thighs were shaking to either side of mine and opening my eyes and turning my head, I witnessed the imagery of tears bubbling up from her closed eyelids to spill down the sides of her face. I just couldn't do it.
Feeling like all the life had been punched out of me, I fell away from her to lay on the bed beside her. You would think that would've made her feel better, but she broke forth, then with the most forlorn cry, I'd ever heard and the sound of it tore me to shreds.
More cries and wails bubbled up past her lips and then she was turning onto her side away from me and curling up in a little ball.
"Hey now... none of that. I know...… I..." I sighed out at a complete lack for words to comfort as I forcefully turned her to me and brought her over to lay against my chest.
She didn't resist me, but instead she seemed to cry all the harder. I rubbed up and down her back as my cock in the aftermath of this bitter expressed outpouring of emotion receded once more to a semi flaccid state. I was set to experience about the worst case of blue balls in my life, but strangely I didn't really care.
~~~~~~~
Gently I eased her away enough so that I could get up off the bed. She'd fallen asleep hours ago and in a dilemma of not wanting to wake her I had just lain there with my cock repeatedly getting hard and soft and back again.
I knelt down beside the bed and whispered, "God please help her and me for that matter. I want to care for her right. Please help me do that!"
I looked up and my eyes took in the full curves of her bottom completely bare to my gaze as she lay on her stomach sleeping peacefully. Closing my eyes as my cock and sore balls once more sprang to life I stated with meaning, "Please!"
I got up and walked stiffly away and out of the room. I needed a release bad, but I had a promise from God and so like it or not there would be no release, until it could occur in her and right now I didn't know when that would be.
My mind filled with the thoughts of the tension filled future ahead of me completely missed seeing her open her eyes to watch me leave the room. I also missed seeing her pounding an angry fist over and over again into her pillow.
~~~~~~~
I slept on the couch the rest of the night and in the morning I slipped out of the house before it was time for me to customarily do so. In a way I was running. I was running from the confrontation of what life would be like having to deal with what I wanted, but couldn't have, unless it came at the cost of her emotions and I didn't want to do that.
It wasn't right of me at all, but I was angry with her. It really wasn't a justifiable anger, but it was within me just the same. Knowing how unjustified my anger was towards her I also knew that she didn't deserve to experience it so the best thing I could do right now was to stay away.
The reality of it though was that I had to go back sometime. In the meantime though I took out my frustrations by throwing shovelful after shovelful of dirt into the wheelbarrow that I had stationed close by.
The underlying soil layers unaffected by the soil modification chemical sprays weren't overly rich with nutrients fit to sustain plant growth except for here where I was digging. I was digging into a topsoil drift that was a holdover from the dustbowl era of the early 1900s.
Top soil drifts like this were a great aid in speeding up the construction of new elevated planting beds to grow even more produce off of. That said, it was still tediously hard work, but today I threw myself into it with a gusto.
I don't know how many wheelbarrows I'd hauled and dumped when suddenly looking up out of the pit I beheld her standing there not too far off.
She held a basket in her hand and glancing at the sun, I realized it was past midday already. Covered in sweat and dirt I looked around a bit sheepish and blinked as I took in the amount of relocated dirt situated off where my new garden plot was going to be.
I'd lost it a bit today and suddenly I felt the effects gained from working like a madman for hours on end. She'd come closer and now silently stood at the edge of the pit that I was in.
She lifted the basket slightly and I looked away. I stared at my shovel handle for a moment. I just couldn't be angry at her.
In fact, I had no desire to be angry with her. The situation was just outside easily dealt with parameters.
I laid the shovel side and climbed up my wheelbarrow ramp to where she stood. She surprised me then by taking my hand and leading me toward a promontory overlook not far away.
I went willingly and allowed my dirt encrusted hand to rest within the grasp of her small hand. Only now did the impact of blisters formed beneath my already tough calluses make a dent into my consciousness.
I'd overdone it a bit today. Worse than that is that I'd been too preoccupied in my wrath to be properly aware of my surroundings.
That was a dangerous thing to get slack about doing and I now scanned about looking closely, but all was clear within the wastelands that stretched out around us. Reaching a good spot we sat down and she laid out a very thoughtfully arrayed amount of food in front of me.
She always did her best to please me with what food we had to work with, but she'd pulled out all the stops today. She was trying to say sorry to me in a way that I would understand.
I looked up from the food and read the confirmation of it in her expressive eyes.
"It's alright JaLin. I'm not a.... I don't want to hurt you." In this moment I truly hated my lack of knowing her language, but she nodded her head and then reaching forward, she touched my hand and said almost unintelligibly in English something to the effect of, "I know."
Her attempt to speak in my native language instantly endeared the moment to me and I went about gladly consuming the food that she had brought. I noticed that she didn't eat much of her own food, but that was somewhat typical of her.
I usually got onto her about it, but not today. Feeling full and very much of the opinion that I'd done enough work for one day I sat back intent to enjoy the day that had gotten a lot brighter somehow.
JaLin still seemed tense to me though, and pondering on that I watched her as she studied the picturesque view that the elevated knoll afforded us. She glanced my way questioningly of my stare upon her and I gestured to the horizon and asked, "You like the view?"
She nodded, smiling and said a word that I had come to attribute with meaning yes. Then she gestured to me in the way I had to the horizon and the way she did it made be conscious of the fact that she was saying she liked me far better than the horizon.
My mouth dry I watched her get up. She'd worn a skirt today and idly I recognized it as having once been a house curtain from upstairs. She was very adept at sewing to be sure and somehow she'd made an old curtain look quite becoming as a dress.
She came over to me and knelt down on her knees. Her breathing was thready but with determination, she leaned forward and kissed me.
It was a passionate kiss and as always I reacted to her, but I made no move to touch her. She pulled back and gazing at me enigmatically for a moment she then made a come-hither motion with her finger and got up. She turned and walked forward towards her pretty horizon without another word.
Feeling drawn by her I got up and followed along slowly behind her. She stopped after a little ways and set a small bottle down upon a rock and then moved on forward several more paces to where a log lay forlornly alone all by itself.
I reached the location of the bottle and stooping down I picked it up. It had a small amount of what I took to be olive oil in it.
Glancing towards her in puzzlement I beheld with shock as she knelt down before the log and with both hands reached back to pull her skirt up to pile up on her back as she bent over before the log. My shocked gaze instantly took in the fact that she wasn't wearing any panties!
Instead of gazing at the ground before the log though she placed her head on her hands that gripped the log as she continued to stare at the horizon that both she and I found beautiful. Her posture was such though that she had arched her back deeply down and even now was erotically offering me the view of her backside and the spread apart lips of her womanhood in as clear of a sign of an erotic offer to a lover as there was.
Feeling lost in the moment I approached her from behind. I glanced from the bottle in my hand to her arrayed ready for the taking before me.
My gaze drifted from her to her forced viewing of the horizon. It clicked in me what she was trying to do. She wanted to be mine, but fears of the past were what they were and so she didn't want to look at me and the horizon was something both distracting and beautiful.
I wanted her, but something about this just seemed like I would be using her. I didn't want that. And yet, maybe this would break the ice and help her adjust to the thought of me as her lover and not as some replacement of a past abuser.
She was trying very hard to please me and swallowing down my objections I decided to accept the gift for what it was. My hands undid my pants I pushed them down enough before then kneeling down before the most welcoming sight I'd ever seen.
Her hands were white knuckled with their grip upon the log and feeling some measure of commiseration for the war, she was fighting on my behalf I softly prayed for her courage and enjoyment of what was to come. Opening the bottle I poured the oil into my hand and slicked it down my shaft that was raging for the completion it saw stretched out in open welcome before me.
Consolingly I laid one hand on her back and she jumped slightly. Moving slowly I rubbed the leftover oil into the skin of her lower back even as I pressed an oily finger into her vagina from behind.
She ducked her head down and then once more brought it up to stare at the horizon as I eased my oily finger gently in and out of the very snug fit that she was. She held still for my finger's possession of her and then I added another.
She gripped the log even tighter and began to breathe heavy.
"Easy now! I'm not them. I really care for you." I whispered out commandingly as I rubbed on her back and her tension seemed to back down some. Then I really felt an urge from within that I needed to capitalize on this moment and so I did.
I eased my now soaked fingers from her tightness and with relish for what was to come I pressed the head of my oiled shaft into her vagina as I used both hands to rub coaxingly up and down her back. She fought to stay still, but I sensed the intense urge to flee from my invasion of her and so I prayed.
I prayed and exercised the most willful restraint of my life by entering her so slowly as to not even be moving. She was so tight though that I truly couldn't have entered much faster than I was doing.
The feeling was intense beyond belief as slowly inch by inch I felt her body force itself to adjust to the girth of my shaft. Gritting my teeth I held back and forced myself to continue feeding her my shaft ever so slowly while whispering endearments to her that I truly meant with all my heart.
My shaft was better than halfway into her glorious tightness when she turned her head away from the horizon to look at me. At first I thought it was all over and the imagined loss of the feel of her about my shaft was almost crushing, but despite the tears on her face I soon saw that she was trying to indicate something much different.
Her attempt at speaking my words failed, but I knew and nodded, even as relief swept through me. She knew it was me now and not somebody from the past.
She glanced forward again and then to my pleasure she began to back up onto my shaft until it was plushly buried to the hilt within her. She was so tight that I was seeing stars and control now was more difficult than ever.
Her advance upon my shaft stopped and I waited. I waited as the intense urge to move caused sweat to roll down my face in abandon. Still I waited for her.
Her hands left the log and folding them onto the ground before her she sank her head down and her back arched even deeper for me and I knew I could do everything I wanted to now. Without hesitation as I gripped a hold of her hips I pulled back only to surge forward into her wet tightness again and again until with a blinding explosion of release I let off everything deep within her as I clutched at her hips trying to force my way in even deeper than I already was.
I was not gentle and yet she pushed back against me with a willing submissiveness to be gored by my shaft that I simply loved her for. Orgasmic surge after surge swept through me as what felt like an eons worth of seed drained from me into her and in complete repletion I slumped over her back to place my hands on the log.
Whispering repeatedly I said, "Thank you JaLin! Thank you..." All the while she held still accepting all of my deeply pressed shaft into her.
Despite the lethargy of my passions aftermath I pulled at her hair and she lifted her head and turned it to the side and our eyes met. She smiled and in that moment I knew we were going to be all right.
Softly I praised God for the moment. This was without a doubt the best day of my life and now it would only get better because now I knew I was free to sink my desire into this beautiful girl now my wife again and again whenever I wished to.
What had been a bad day was now one with a new beginning. Reluctantly, I pulled out of her and not being able to resist myself, I leaned forward and kissed both cheeks of her bottom before I pulled her dress back down.
Pulling my own pants up I then helped her to her feet. She had a bashful and yet slightly playful demeanor about her now that I was instantly attracted to.
She was smiling again and with a gesture to my crotch she then spread her hands apart to symbolize something big. Smiling, I surprised her by picking her up in my arms.
"Yes Honey, I am, and you are the perfect home for it!" With that said I started walking back towards the house as her arm fell to lay easily along the back of my shoulders.