I laid sideways awake on the cold, hard cave floor, next to the camp fire we had built to keep warm. The fire had distinguised a while ago but it was still quite warm. I hadn't been able to sleep all night and felt disgusting, i felt rather zombiefied if i had to describe how i really felt. I signed miserably, wishing kiaros would be nicer to me. All night I had been thinking about his last words. I think back to what he had mumbled " that's.. Not.. Your fathers advice" What was that suppose to mean? knowing it must be morning, I got up off the floor. I was tired of staying in the cave. I was fed up of staying with kiaros, he was grumpy, arrogant and pretencious at times and I really wanted to go home to a nice soft bed. Kiaros was still sleeping after all, curled up like a baby, I knew he would not awake if i left. I gathered my clutch bag and held it tightly. My phone and a few lipsticks, a hair comb, my purse and credit card was inside. i would never leave it behind. I began to walk towards the exit of the cave, which i knew wasn't far and as i made my way out, the sun seared my eyes. I dropped to the ground clutching my face, pressing my hand over temples , my eyes burned and i didn't know what was happening to me. Images began to emerge before me, familiar faces... faces i'd seen before.. faces i didn't know the names of.
"Mummy,... Please stop pretending...Mummy it's not funny.... I don't like this game no more, can we play a different one? Mummy please...". a young girls voice cried out, frightened, scared and confused. An image of a beautiful woman flickered before me, She laid on a pink marble floor, eyes open, silent and still like a porcelain doll. I suddenly got an uneasy feeling in my stomach and i felt like i was going to vomit. Her cold dead eyes looked sideways at me and my spine tingled as her thin red lips stuttered " a-a-An -anab-b Annabelle...." The woman began to choke, and a large amount of opague red liquid began to pour out of her mouth. It soaked her pretty white dress to bright red. I wanted to reach out to her, i wanted to help, i wanted to know who she was, why this was happening and how she knew who i was. More blood seemed to flow from her mouth and she continued to stare at me coldly, a sort of blank expression lay on her face too. " Let me help you.." i heard myself say. I was quite surprised, my voice was quite childlike and shaky. " You are already helping me.." she smiled at me with her blood stained mouth and large watery blue eyes; which were blood shocked. I decided i prefered her cold, blank stare rather than her smile while she looked like this because at least then she didn't look like a crazy psycho. " How.. how am i helping you? "i asked,my voice getting frantic as she grew paler and paler. "Annabelle! can you hear me..? annabelle! " A familiar males voice seem to distract me and i could no longer hear what the woman had to say, her lips mummbled words i would probably never hear again, i would never be able to save her. " no.. no! i need to save her! " i shouted as she faded away, and suddenly i was knelt on ground, clutch bag on the floor and Kiaros in front of me, looking concerned. That was the first time i'd seen him look so worried about me. " Why? Why did you do that?" i scolded him. "i was going to hear how to save her." He looked confused. " am i missing something here? You passed out, i didn't do anythi-" "Passed out? this was no dream, this was real! You didn't see what i saw, you wasn't there, now i'll never be able to save her! "He helped me to my feet and steadied me. " Save who? You're probably just getting worked up over a dream; you look like hell. I can tell you haven't even slept."
" So what?" I hissed " I just want to get out of here!" I pushed kiaros away from me and walked in to the woods. I had to find the place with the pink marble floor.
I didn't know how long i had been walking in the woods but it seemed like forever, I couldn't tell one way from another. The woods was quite dense, trees thick and shadowy. Some were bushy and some were bare and looked like the branches had hands and claws. It was getting dark and cold, and the wind seemed to pick up quite violently, making a howling noise as it made its way through the creaking woods. I felt uneasy, like I was being watched. I kept looking around but I couldn't see anything . I could only hear the wind.
"Annabelle.."
I stood frozen on the spot, my heart racing.
I was sure I heard someone whisper my name , it couldn't of been the wind, the wind only made howling noises, not words.
"annabelle, We're coming for you"
I got a chill down my spine .
I definitely wasn't imagining this.
"uh h- hello?" I called out lamely.
Like anyone was probably going to answer me back.
A Couple of cries from a crow startled me and I clutched my chest in fear.
"poor, poor princess, you will suffer no more. We shall put you out of your misery.."
My heart slammed against my rib cage even harder than before. Disembodied voices were definitely a bad sign, a red alert sign and I wanted this so badly to be imaginary.. a trick of the mind but something told me it wasn't.
" I don't understand, I'm fine.. Why would you say such horrible things?!" I asked, still walking around in the now pitch black woods.
"you understand very well. Lying is useless. Your heart is broken. We know. We feel it. He does not see your suffering, he had left you with nothing once but solitude. How do you know he won't again? Surely, does this cold hearted man deserve your love and affection? All your efforts and compassion? He is selfish and spiteful. We can help mend your broken heart. "
I bit my lip and looked at the earthy floor; which was soiled with crunchy leaves, acorns and rotten fruit and probably insects. He hadn't really shown any feelings toward me or even been all that nice to me. The only thing he did was save me... Because I was important somehow. But not important enough for him.
"Now you see, you see the hurt, the deceit, you mean nothing to him. Nothing more to him than as if you were a piece of rotten fruit on the floor. You know deep down you are worthless trash to him. Why fight it? "
my lips quivered and my knees buckled. I didn't want to admit how right these voices were. They couldn't of stumbled in to my heart and hit the truth any harder than they already had. My face felt hot and flustered. my eyes began to sting and tears escaped, slowly running down my face and on to the earth. I didn't know what to think anymore, all my fears which I had been evading had finally been revealed once more, ripped from my heart and very soul, only to be thrown maliciously in to my face.
"h- help me, please, take it away."
I sobbed. I'd had enough of this pain. This torture.
"Caw! Caw!" I hear the shrill calls of a lonely raven soaring the darkened skies above me. It seemed to get louder, toward me. I also herd somebody humming a familiar tune.
"tweedle dee tweedle dum, de dum duuummm- food!!..," the raven began to peck at my head and arm. I yelled and pushed it away.
Ahhhhhhh! it's alive..!"
He flapped his wings in surprise and cocked his head, he was wearing a top hat.
"Despicable!. Honestly what are you doing down there, you inept creature!"
I stared blankly at the raven and he continued to talk.
" you call dropping your tatters along in the dirt seductive ? Honestly I don't know what these fabricated monkeys call fashion these days"
He alters his top hat.
" uhh..." was lost for words. I looked down at my sodden dress which was covered in mud.
" we'll hurry up and say something! I can't hang around all day can I while there's a juicy rotten corpse laying about somewhere with my name on it! It's rude to not answer back! I swear, creatures are getting more rude these days, can't even say hello to a dragon without getting your head chard off ! "
" I- i'm sorry, it's just.. Birds in my world don't talk.. " I said. My head was spinning. " don't talk?! " squawked the raven. " what kinda world do YOU live in?!" He was utterly delirious " " I CANNOT imagine a world without talking. Oh someone shoot me, my brain aches at the thought " he had his wing laid in a dramatic pose over his head. " excuse me, but if you can talk then why do you do those.. You know.. Bird sounds? Like the caw caw thing ? " I asked.
The raven folded his wings and looked annoyed.
" hey I wasn't making " bird sounds " I was simply coughing, you Insufferable nitwit.
You would too if you 'd had a fat field mouse for dinner! Christ, I think it was a hairball ! He squawked at me. I cringed at the thought.
The raven gazed down on me as I still sat on the earth.
" oh This isn't time for a mud bath, mun! We're stood in the whispering woods. Bad woods this is.. Alright if you wanna go insane in the membrane. But I wanna fly the coop! "
" whispering woods? Is it really that bad?" I asked," my teeth gritted as a large pain filled my chest.
" well yes, no one usually comes back from this place. They say this place is ... Uh... Well I wouldn't say ' haunted ' in a parallel world like this one heh. But who knows what or who is in here, all they hear is wailing and whispering as if someone is sad or lonely, beckoning you to company them with in the woods... Foreverrerr!" He said, shouting at the end making me jump.
" if anyone knows you were In here their gonna think you're batty now.. Say, why did you come in here anyway? I'm surprised you never heard of this place... Ooh!! Unless...You must be new. "
I Began to pull myself up as i held on to a tree. I brushed the drying mud hastily off me.
" I was taking a walk away from somebody, I think I was too harsh.."
I said and swallowed hard at the thought of how I had lashed out at him and felt a tinge of guilt wash over me.
" Is it...this guy? Asked the Raven.
He pulled out a tiny little man about the size of a 2 year old out of a bush with his beak. His hair was brown and knotted and had two large sharp, curved antlers protruding from his head. He had a beard that probably had hidden or stuck food inside it. His feet weren't ordinary feet, they were hooves and he had little fine hairs lightly covering his visible skin like a baby monkey. He only had what I could make it as wood and vine underpants on and he seemed to make weird angry noises.
" uh... No. What is that.. ? "
" he's a wild boy. Basically he's a half goat man and as you can see this woods has probably made him crackers. "
" I'd say.." I said gazing at him shake his hairy tiny fist at the raven for disturbing him."
The pain in my chest seemed to get worse and I collapsed to the ground, I felt weak and nauseated. My vision was slowly deteriorating and the woods seems to spin all around me as my chest tightened and seared. " annabelle! Annabelle! " I herd someone shout my name but I couldn't move to try to see. A blurred shadow knelt beside me. " k- kairos, Is that you ? "
A warm hand grabbed my hand which clutched my chest. " yes, it's me..."
We didn't speak again for about 10 minuets. " annabelle, if you die.. I want to die too."
I opened my eyes frantically, shaken, shocked even at this crazy idea. Why would he want to die just because of me?. If I die, I want him to live.
" no, you have to live for me.. If I die.. You have to go on and have a family and help people and just ... Just remember me.."
Tears began to well up.
Why of all the times in the world did he choose now to show me he cared? Even if I was probably dying (which it felt like it ) right now it still wasn't a good enough excuse.
I bit my lip as the pain increased in my chest.
" why do you care? You acted like you never cared. You said you didn't save me because you wanted to, like it was some kind of chore. So why? Is it guilt? " I pressed on prudently.
He sighed and closed his eyes.
I couldn't tell if his expression was pained or annoyance.
He didn't say anything for what seemed a really long time until I spoke again.
You really broke my heart you know..multiple times and I don't think you know how it feels.. To be me. To be mislead by someone like you. It hurts like hell. And because of that, I don't think I'm dying here.. It's a feeling you could probably never understand until you experience it yourself. It is a constant pain and discomfort that I'm constantly struggling with all day. It is a sickness in your stomach and a knot in your throat. It is when eating becomes a battle to swallow and falling asleep becomes inconceivable. Unrequited love. . It feels like you lost apart of who you are. You fight with yourself, trying to convince yourself you are fine. It's a constant swing in your emotions. Some moments are better than others as you've seen and Sometimes you think it is almost over, but then, just as suddenly you are overwhelmed with a paralyzing pain that forces you stop and rest for a moment. You are always thinking about the other person. Imagining how happy they are, while you are barely hanging on. You think about how they have forgotten about you... How could it have been so easy for them. How could they have said they cared about you, but moved on you so effortlessly. You wonder, "how could you do this... How could you say you care about me and be so careless with your words and actions?" Soon these thoughts turn to anger. Anger that you use to get you through the day. Anger blocks out the sadness. Hate is the only escape from the sadness you are overwhelmed , even paralysed by. Unfortunately, the hate is only temporary. It eats away at you until there is nothing left.
I swallowed hard , and closed my eyes too, trying to gather all my thoughts up. The silence was too much. " Then you are back to where you started. Constantly thinking about them, and how completely alone you are. left to cry in the darkness, either on the inside or out, and making promises to yourself that you will never, ever let this happen again."
" annabelle.. But why? Why do you feel this Way? " he asked coldly.
He wasn't holding my hand anymore.
He stood up looking uncomfortable, solemn in fact.
I winced as the pain grew sharper and gasped for air.
" why do you ask ' why?'. I've loved you for as long as I can remember.
You were the only person who seemed to care about me while everyone else bullied me . I love you as the person you are, I just fell in love.. I can't help it or explain it any better than that." I croaked.
He turned his back on me .
" Well.. You shouldn't."
"But why shouldn't i ?" My lip began to quiver again and my heart Sank.
The pain didn't even matter anymore.
" now,.. Now I just feel .. So alone. I thought you were different. I just feel so bad, nothing compares to this pain. Nothing. Up to that point I don't remember much of what happened. I just wanted to die right there and then. I didn't want to suffer Any more. All I knew was , kiaros was not planned for what he was about to face.