(A/N Notes: This chapter is a rollercoaster of no idea of what to put)
"Tomorrow, after school, meet me at this place, at this hour, with good clothes" (Emika)
"... Why?" (Itsuki)
Itsuki was called to Emika's office in the school, where she told him the following instructions as she pointed at a map. And he obviously asked her why
"Because the guy I'm trying to get rid of found out that I would be going there, so I need you to be there with me to make him think we're on a date" (Emika)
"And what if that doesn't work?" (Itsuki)
"It's simple! I just ask my securities to beat him down" (Emika)
" "..." " (Itsuki/Ichi)
The two looked at Emika when she said what her backup plan was, you should already know so far that Ichi will be in the same place as Itsuki most of the time
"That's all you can go now" (Emika)
"Okay!... Ah! I was almost forgetting, here!" (Itsuki)
"Hm?... ... ... !?!?!?" (Emika)
Before leaving he gave Emika three shopping receipts, which made her eyes go wide when she saw the number of zeros in each of the receipts, and they were all big numbers. He and Ichi were now going back to the classroom to pick up their bags
"Ah! Itsuki-sama!... Ichi-san" (Mio)
And Mio greeted Itsuki happily and respectfully greeted Ichi
"Ah, Mio-san, what brings you here?" (Itsuki)
"I only came to give you this" (Mio)
And she handed him her homemade bento
"Sadly, I wasn't able to bring it to you during lunch due to some troubles" (Mio)
And she looked at Ichi while smiling
"*Swallows the food* It's okay" (Itsuki)
"..." (Ichi)
Mio and Ichi looked at him finish Mio's bento and return her the bento box
"It was great!" (Itsuki)
"Fufu, thank you" (Mio)
"... Itsuki-san" (Ichi)
"Hm? What is it, Ichi-chan?" (Itsuki)
"... I request the permission to keep bringing you my homemade food for lunch..." (Ichi)
"Sure? Though you don't really need my permission to keep doing it" (Itsuki)
"... I understand... But... To eat my homemade food... I request that you stop accepting Subject Mio-san's homemade food from now on" (Ichi)
" "..." " (Itsuki/Mio)
Itsuki and Mio became silent at Ichi's unexpected request. His brain started working on the calculations of whether he accepted Ichi's request so that he could eat more of her homemade food, or if he refused so that he could keep eating Mio's food. and Itsuki reached the best answer for Ichi's request, so he opened his mouth
"A-" (Itsuki)
"... I will only be accepting yes or no for an answer" (Ichi)
"..." (Itsuki)
He closed his mouth and went back to calculate the second-best answer, which is blatantly obvious by the title of this story, and by my blatant favoritism of who's the best girl in here
"Yes, I accept your request, Ichi-chan... Sorry, Mio-san. But I'll have to refuse your food from now on" (Itsuki)
"Fufu, it's fine. After all, it's not always that you see the ice-hearted automata get this jealous" (Mio)
" "?" " (Itsuki/Ichi)
Both Itsuki and Ichi didn't understand Mio's comment, and she just left with a simple farewell. And at seeing Mio leave, Ichi felt a strange feeling of relief. Itsuki and Ichi walked side by side around the shopping district, before parting ways
The next day, after school
"Here I am! Good afternoon, Emika-san, Mio-san" (Itsuki)
He greeted the two while wearing good clothes and right on time
"You're late!" (Emika)
"No, I'm right on time!" (Itsuki)
"He's right, Itsuki-sama is right on time" (Mio)
"... I must agree with Itsuki-san, he arrived right on point of the agreed time" (Ichi)
"... Why are you here!?" (Emika)
Emika was the only one surprised at Ichi's appearance
"... Itsuki-san is here to do something out of ordinary, so I must also come to gather this new data" (Ichi)
"... But isn't he always out of ordinary?" (Emika)
"... That is correct, and this situation is also out of ordinary, so it will still be a useful source of new data" (Ichi)
"Haa... Whatever, let's just get this over with" (Emika)
"Sure! Let's get going, Itsuki-sama?"
Mio hugged one of his arms as she asked him so
"..." (Ichi)
And Ichi who saw her doing that didn't like what she saw at all, so she went and hugged his other arm
"..." (Emika)
And Emika who saw all that could only think one thing
"... *Closes her eyes*"
She was seriously starting to regret meeting him and making that deal with him. And she followed the three like the candleholder she was. They all went to the arcade, because Emika refused with all her might on going to a buffet restaurant to his dejection, and in there Itsuki managed to get three stuffed toys, because of Ichi's instructions and plain ol' luck
"This was the one you wanted right, Mio-san?" (Itsuki)
"Yes, that's right. Thank you" (Mio)
"You're welcome... So, Ichi-chan? Which one do you want?" (Itsuki)
"..." (Ichi)
He showed her both of the plushies, which were quite similar, and she looked at both trying to come up with the best answer
"... The left one" (Ichi)
"Sure, here" (Itsuki)
He handed Ichi the left one that was cuter, and the remaining one went to Emika so that she wouldn't feel alone
"..."
And as if her pleading was answered, someone called for her
"Emika? Is that you?" (???)
"!"
She thanked the gods for the whole reason she was there came as if to end her suffering by having the whole fake date end sooner than expected
"You see, I came here during my date with my boyfriend!" (Emika)
And she pulled Itsuki by the arm and hugged it as she said so
"..." (???)
"..." (Itsuki)
He and the new guy stared at each other, and then he made the first move
"Greetings! I'm Sakamoto Itsuki, Emika-san's fake boyfriend!" (Itsuki)
"What's the fucking point of this if you're going to blow it up by telling him the truth!?!?!?" (Emika)
She could only shout at his lack of thought process
"You're right... Then I'm the Totally! Surely! Absolutely! 100% real!... Emika-san's boyfriend" (Itsuki)
"Why did the actual important part sound so weak?" (Emika)
While Emika kept complaining about him, Mio and Ichi were observing everything from behind Itsuki and Emika
"Ah! By the way, who is he?" (Itsuki)
"Let me answer it for you. First, his name is... Sasaki Akio, if I'm not wrong, second he has been in love with ojou-sama for quite some time, and third, he forced an arranged marriage with Emika-sama without her approval... Yeah, I think that's pretty everything you need to know" (Mio)
"I see, so he's just a dumb idiot!" (Itsuki)
" "... That's correct!" " (Mio/Emika)
"I'm not dumb! And I don't know what exactly is going, but I challenge you to a duel for Emika's hand, for tomorrow at 10 am!" (Akio) (A/N Notes: I also want to know what the hell is going on)
"I accept your duel even though I don't care about Emika-san's hand! But I can't tomorrow! Can we duel on Saturday?" (Itsuki)
"Saturday, I can't either!" (Akio)
Itsuki and Akio were equally idiots
(A/N Notes: You need an idiot to understand another idiot)