It was time for her to leave. She knew she had overstayed her welcome ever since she had walked through the front door the previous morning and saw him waiting for her at the coffee table. Sakshi stared at the cupboard in front of her as she sat on the bed she had spent four years in, her suitcase wide open in front of her, her clothes amongst other things spilling out. She found it hard to pack four years of memories into a 30-inch suitcase.
She ran her hands through her hair. The last 24 hours had been beyond stressful. She did not expect things to turn out the way it had. She carelessly flung the shirt she had unfolded and refolded for the third time into the suitcase and looked at the transparent plastic bag that sat next to her. Sakshi's mind drifted off to the previous day, the fight that they had running through the back of her mind.
She had just finished a night shift at the hospital. She was tired and could not wait to get to bed. The hospital had been busy in the wake of the ongoing pandemic and with her residency ending; she needed to work the extra hours to ensure her spot. She walked into a dimly lit apartment. Sakshi knew something was off the moment she saw him sitting at the table, a strange look on his face.
Sakshi walked over to him, leaving her bag on the rack next to the door.
'I thought you would be asleep' she said cautiously. The look on his face made her anxious.
'I can't do this anymore' —he said. His voice barely a whisper. His eyes avoided hers, he didn't know how she would take it.
Sakshi was taken aback, however she remained calm. Her temper have never solved anything. There was nothing they could not work through, right? Four years could not have been for nothing.
'What do you mean?' she said, her voice firm like her belief. She knew she could reason with him.
'I barely see you anymore. I leave before you wake up and you're back after I'm asleep. Things are different' he said looking at her in the eye. He had rehearsed it and Sakshi knew he was hiding something bigger.
'Things are different only if you want them to be. You know how much a spot at a hospital like that matters to me.' She said, her voice gradually lacking the steadiness that it had earlier. He was being unreasonable, like he did only when he had run out of options.
'I know that's important, what I don't understand is when did we take backseat.' He said, his resolve strengthening. He had begun to believe the lie he had been telling himself.
'I know you, like I know this was never about me working overtime. You've never had an issue with it before.'
Sakshi was done being calm. She wanted to know the truth although some part of her already knew what it was. She still wanted to hold on.
'Tell me what this is really about, instead of pinning it on me like you always do.' she spat. She walked into the kitchen and reached for the glass, her hands trembling. Her eyes widened, that was never a good sign. She knew she had to leave the room before anything went wrong.
'It doesn't matter anymore Sakshi. Things have changed. Those four years were good, but I can't keep waiting for you to come back home. It's work now; it'll be something else later,'—
—'Stop. That's enough' Sakshi cut him off as she leaned against the counter, the grip on the glass of water increasing with every passing moment.
'I can't deal with this right now. We'll talk in the morning' she said walking away towards their bedroom. She knew what had happened the last time she had lost her temper.
'This is what you always do Sakshi. You never want to face the truth' he said to her retreating figure. He still hadn't answered her question, it was easier for him to blame it on something else rather than accept that it was wrong. At that moment, he cared very little about what Sakshi felt. He had for some time now.
'I need you to move out. Tomorrow.' He said, and he got the reaction he wanted. Sakshi turned around to face him. Tears streaming down her face. One look at her and he knew that the person standing in front of her was not Sakshi anymore. A chill ran down his spine when he heard her voice. Something had definitely changed.
'How long have you been planning this' she said as she walked towards him.
'I don't know what you mean' he replied, the previous confidence ebbing away, when he realised he wasn't in control anymore.
'How long have you been seeing someone else' she asked him, but she already knew the answer when she saw the colour drain from his face.
Sakshi took one last look at the plastic ziploc bag that held something that reminded she had held close to her heart for a very long time. She placed on top of her clothes in the bag. She zipped it up and dragged it to the entrance of the apartment.
She took one last look at the apartment she once called her home, her eyes lingering on wall with the slightly off-colour paint. A small smile playing on her lips. She sent up a silent prayer as she stared at the final resting place of her ex-boyfriend. Most of him at least, for part of him will always remain with her,
Sakshi closed the door behind her with a soft click. Things were definitely different now.