Making my way to my class room, I settled into my seat. My heart racing, hardly catching my breath, and hands shaking uncontrollably. How could that be? Here I thought, what did I think? I do not know him. Today, was the first day he spoke to me. But, how could he act the way he was with me today, knowing he is to be with her? Am I just one big joke to everyone in this school? I grab my phone and message Autumn I miss you so bad right now!!! Putting it away I notice Tristen walking down the aisle to his seat. Oh yes, that's right he was sitting next to me. How wonderful? I could feel his eyes upon me but, I refuse to give him the benefit of me looking at him. Just thirty more minutes and this will be over.
My body was again pulling itself toward him. Not understanding if it was due to me being so angry at him for him playing me like this or what. It took all I had to make myself focus on what was left in class and not face him. In my head I went over so many things that I wanted to say and do to him. I thought of asking him then and there what was the point of his big show today huh? Taking my hands and rubbing over my jeans to try to calm myself down. Huh, calming down. Screaming in his face so the whole class could see him getting put in his place. In which would also show my crazy girl side. Or the thought of just giving in to the pull he had on my body and wrap myself around every part of him just to feel him.
When the bell sounded, I grabbed my books not even putting them into my bag and just walk to my locker. Not really caring who was around, I just lean my forehead against my locker and the coolness felt wonderful. Deep breaths, I stand and place my books into my locker. When I turn to leave, Tristen is there. About a foot away from me. I wanted to get away from him as fast as I could but, my feet would not move. His face was so sad and his eyes were dim. "Oh no, I am not going to be one of those girls that lets a guy say or do whatever and walk all over her. Nope not me", I reminded myself. I was not having it. There were no sorry feelings for him. His hand came up to give me a note. Being the stubborn girl that I am, I almost did not take it. But, when I saw his crew behind him seeing every bit of this unfold, I grabbed it and took off.
There was no way I was going to be able to make it through my next class. So, I went behind the music building. Only people who came back here were smokers. Walking around I saw a small path. Making my way into the forest, I notice how quiet it is. This is what I needed right now. A little way in I see a small watering hole. It was so pretty. One giant rock where a stream came up out of the ground and trickled down to make a hole big enough to wade through. With greenery all around and trees filled with birds and squirrels. This is exactly where I needed to be. There were small perks living in a small town, having the access to nature is one of them.
Sitting down at a base of a small tree, I lean myself against it. The sun beaming down upon my face once more today. Taking out Tristen's note, with mixed feeling. I wanted to throw away the words he said never to know his excuse. And then again, I wanted something from him. Possible closure even though I know now we were nothing, barely even spoke to one another. I have not a reason to be this upset, but why did I feel like this. Where did these emotions come from? I barely know him at all. They are just in high school and are promised to one another. My chest ached so much it was getting hard to breath. My mind was overloaded with images of him and Sasha together, making my stomach filling with nausea over it. What is wrong with me? I am losing my mind. Not to mention this truly being a small town to have parents arranging marriages for their offspring. Ugh, I really am missing my simple life that I had before. Opening the letter to find
It's not as it seems.
Laying my head back against the tree, I close my eyes and try to clear my head. So, he flirted a little with me today, that does not mean that he is interested in me or that he cheated in any way. So, we talked, so my body gets all hot and bothered when he's around. What girl wouldn't? He is so hot. Snap! Went a tree branch, I jumped. Looking around I saw Amber and the girl from music class stopped in the trail looking at me. "Sorry, I was really trying to not startle you." Amber said softly.
"What is it with people here? I have been jumping out of my skin the past few days," I say to her as she made her way to me.
"The past few days have not been easy on you, have they?" she questioned. Shaking my head, no, I lay my head back against the tree again. "that is an understatement if I have ever heard one," the other girl said. I look at her with a "really you think" look. "Oh sorry, yeah I am horrible at speaking my mind when I shouldn't mainly in situations that should be serious." She said. "I am Katie, Kat for short." That name fit her for she had dark short hair black eye liner making her eyes look as of a cat and soft pale skin. She looked so young, too young to be a Senior. Nodding my head at her introduction, I close my eyes
"I know that you don't know me nor I know you but, I do know my brother. "Amber stated. "Oh, but I beat she wants to know him really well", Kat chimed in. The look Amber gave her was of death. "What? What girl wouldn't he is hot! Not to mention the way he looks at her would make any girl melt to a puddle." She finished when Amber pinched her arm and twisted at the same time. "Ow! Okay, I get it shut up. I'm done."
That got me laughing. This girl was an open book. It seemed she could not keep her word vomit from coming out. "The one thing that everyone knows about my brother is that he is honest. Integrity is a big deal to him as it is to our family. It is not my business, I know, I just can't help not to help my brother." Amber explained. "To you it is as though he has done you wrong, and for that I am sorry as is he. But, trust me that it was not what he wanted."
"He didn't wrong me. We were just talking. Sasha just gets under my skin." I answer her. "I know she would love to get under Tristen's skin." Kat states as she is wiggling her eyebrows. That made my blood boil. Thinking of her touching him, or him wanting her. "I guess she has that right," I say through closed teeth. With that she stood grabbing Kats arm to raise her. She pushed her friend forward and left. I could hear Amber giving her down the road for her actions as they went.
The rest of the day I was not bothered. Not really knowing if it was because of me and not caring or if it was because no one else cared. When the day was over, I stood on the side walk waiting to go to my car, my phone buzzed. It was Autumn Awe love u 2. She always knew when I needed her. When I looked up, I saw Tristen walking toward me. I almost looked away but, decided not to. There was no anger in me when I saw him. As he passed me, a small smile I gave and he nodded. I have no reason to be upset at him, I do not know him. And he did not do anything that was wrong, well at least to me. As the buses finished pulling out, I walked to my car. On my window was a white Lilly. Picking it up and slowly bringing it to my face to smell, the wind swirled around me. That brought a smile to my face.