!!!RAW LETTER!!!
a letter which i have no clue on how to start, somthin only i will understand shall one read it.
Such a paranoid girl, cant even walk through a small hallway without thinking that the pictures were alive, staring at her. The girl who can never be safe in her own mind without thinking that somone is judging her thoughts while she thinks. The girl who can't stop crying. The girl who can never stop thinking about her lies and so called sins. Doesn't want to believe in god but cant stop thinking about this creator. Shower thoughts every night. Loves a person online but knows they will be ripped apart by them. Thinking about how much she loves that person only to know that she lied. Imagine lying to people to love? She doesn't have to imagine for she is that imagination that only one could imagine. Anxiety. So much anxiety. cant even get up without feeling like the world is ending while seeing tv static as her vision. Falling to the floor feeling like shes getting electrocuted. Covers up mirrors and windows as she thinks shes being watched and followed. Sees people stating the symptoms of depression, anxiety, adhd and so.. so much more.. only to know that she has it but to think that her own mind scolds her making her think thats shes faking it? Yes it will do that to her for as long as she lives, she believes. Gets called child cause she can't process shit. Gets called an 8 year old because shes fucking scared for her life for no absolute reason. Knowing that people thinks she doesn't know what shes saying when she can.. but only in that mind which shall be her hell and safe space. Speak with your mind is what she will do. You just have to let that mind break you after you do.
Won't be alright so you will not say its alright. Just don't say anything thats all. That way you will not feel like a liar nevermind the fact that you lied so much.