Chereads / FATE\Deus Decipit / Chapter 17 - Bacon Pancakes

Chapter 17 - Bacon Pancakes

8:30 am, a hotel suite in downtown Athens, the eighth floor

Heping stood in the kitchen with two pans over the lit stove. In one, there were pancakes, and in the other, bacon. Her Servant apparently loved this combination for breakfast, and she saw it fit to deliver, as ironic as it was. Frankly, she got the impression that he would eat just about anything.

Part of the reason she suspected such a thing was because, even now, he was still snacking. He sat cross-legged on the counter with a plastic tray of rice cookies in front of him. No more than a meter tall, he munched away while wearing novelty children's clothes she had bought for him from one of the many stalls in the old town.

It was actually quite adorable. His childish nature made her forget about everything else.

This was her servant Lancer, better known as Pigsy of 'The Journey to the West'. He sat there like a child: short, plump, and stubby with short legs that ended in pig hooves, small hands hardly distinguishable from his arms, large, floppy ears, and an equally large snout that bobbled adorably as he chowed down. His beady eyes were closed as he sat in pure bliss, entirely absorbed by the sweets in his mouth.

He was a glutton, but she didn't mind too much. Between her military background and strict parents, she had never really had much opportunity to try new things, but her Servant's insatiable stomach gave her a good excuse to eat a wide variety of different dishes. The "Hamburger" she had tried the other day was particularly good.

She was slightly unnerved by the fact that his favorite food was pork, but had decided not to question it.

"Excuse me Pigsy, but do you want your bacon crispy or extra crispy?"

He oinked with surprise and some agitation, with his mouth full he chastised her, "Oi! For the last time: I AM NOT PIGSY! I'M LANCER, LADY!" He summoned his nine-tooth rake and pointed at her with it. Its shaft was black like obsidian while the head was a golden bronze. "I will not be disrespected like this! I refuse -oink-!"

"Okay, but how do you want your bacon?"

He swallowed the food in his mouth and made his rake disappear in the air. He pouted, "Crispy."

"Alright. It will be ready soon."

He pretended to be angry, but couldn't keep his tongue from licking his lips in anticipation. A bit of drool slipped from his mouth as he slipped into a small trance, murmuring under his breath, "Hehe, succulent bacon -oink- gooey pancakes -oink-."

Seeming to forget about the rice cookies, he plopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling, or, more accurately, the divider between the kitchen and the living room, for a moment or two. "Oi. Master."

"Yes, Pigsy?"

"What're we doin' today? -And don't call me Pigsy."

"Oh. I thought we would finally make our way to the Acropolis today."

Hearing this, Pigsy sat up with a start, slapping the counter with his palm. "What did I say about the Acropolis!? That place is leyline central!" He crossed his arms defiantly, "There's definitely somethin' spooky there, and I want no part of it! It's just askin' for trouble -oink-!"

"That is true, but we have to go there eventually. I told you, my mother sent me here to investigate, and the leylines are where we start. We have already examined every other part of Athens. I think we have put this off long enough."

 She shut off the stove and began to move the hearty breakfast to a separate plate.

"Your mom can go to Hell!" he huffed with agitation.

Heping was aghast, "Pigsy! You can not just say that!"

"Why not -oink-? She ain't here is she? -And don't call me Pigsy."

Heping found herself at a bit of a loss for words, "I cannot just ignore my responsibilities, Pigsy. Besides, we agreed that we would go to the Acropolis last. We have already been everywhere else, so now we go to the Acropolis. It is as simple as that."

"Master-'' Pigsy suddenly became very serious. He stood up and summoned his rake, twirling it in one hand before bringing the end down onto the counter and pointing at Heping with the other. "Do you know what it means to be a warrior?"

She was entranced by his display. Somewhat awestruck as, in a single motion, he had brought all attention to himself.

He continued, de-summoning his rake again. He moved smoothly through a martial arts exercise, speaking as he did, "To be a warrior, you must be like a flowing river. Do you know what that means, Master?"

An English phrase came to mind, "Um- Go with the flow?"

"Hehe. Close, but not quite." He moved to a squatting position, "A true warrior..." He struck a pose, one arm outstretched, the other close to his chest, positioned like claws, craning his neck dramatically, "TAKES THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE! OOOIIIIINN-KU!"

She couldn't tell if she was amazed or disappointed.

He continued, "A true warrior knows that life is found not atop the mountains of this world, but in the ocean where no one knows his name! In other words-" He shifted his pose so that his other hand was forward, pointing up with the palm out, "-those who pursue greatness: they are the fools! Reject your name, and run to where your responsibilities can't ever find you! OOOIIIIINNN-KUU!"

"You are drooling, Pigsy."

He was. "It's your fault for having such fresh and delectable bacon right in front of me -oink-! Is this how you treat the counsel of a general of Heaven!? -And don't call me Pigsy."

"You were cast from Heaven."

She could make out the start of tears at the edge of his eyes, "As if you have to remind me, dammit!" 

He turned around and sat facing away from her, pulling his tray of cookies towards himself and grabbing one.

"You know Pigsy..."

"-Don't call me Pigsy -oink-"

"I think some bacon and pancakes would make you feel better."

He sat quietly for a few moments.

"Yes, please -oink-."

...

She walked down the brick walkway that circled the Acropolis, a wide street for pedestrians. Stalls lined either side, some were selling merchandise, others food or beverages, and there were various performers as well. It was a casual atmosphere, the sound of guitars and ukuleles creating a world in miniature, as if she were the star of her own stage play.

She had changed out of her pajamas into something more appropriate; a yellow, baggy tank-top with athletic shorts. She wore a plain, black backpack that currently held her wallet among other things. She wore fingerless gloves to cover the Command Seals on her right hand.

'Oi. Master.' Pigsy spoke telepathically. He was in his Spirit Form, a power unique to Servants where they can make themselves intangible and invisible while disguising their presence.

"Yes, Pigsy?" 

No one was immediately nearby, so she felt comfortable talking out loud. Besides, most people would just assume she was talking into an earpiece; her hair was short but still long enough to cover her ears.

'I want cola. And don't call me Pigsy -oink-.'

She always found it odd that he still oinked when communicating telepathically, but, like many things about her oddity of a Servant, had elected not to question it. "You cannot even drink it right now. I will get you one when we get lunch."

'Oh come on -oink-! That's so long from now!'

"You will have to wait." She turned to the fenced area on her right, the giant mountain-pillar that was home to the Acropolis in the near distance. "We are not that far. I promise that I will be as quick as I can."

'We may not even live to see lunch -oink-! Is a cola really too much to ask for when you're havin' me put my life on the line?'

She was starting to get frustrated, "I told you we would get a cola on the way back. You will not change my mind."

'Oh puh-lease. You don't even wanna do this, do ya? You just wanna stay in your room all day and watch TV, dont'cha? You just wanna be a normal tourist, right? Well? Let's go! Let's get on a cruise or somethin'!'

"I told you before, I cannot just leave my responsibilities-"

'-And I told ya that yer responsibilities can go to Hell! Your demon of a mother ain't here so just forget about her!'

"-And you are only saying that because you are scared."

'-And what's wrong with that -oink-! Being a coward don't make me wrong now does it -oink-!"

'Enough, Pigsy. We have arrived.' 

She communicated telepathically with Lancer. It took a not insignificant level of focus to perform, but was doable.

She could make out an emphatic huff from her Servant, but he said nothing as she approached the stall in front of the gates leading to the Acropolis.

She bought a ticket for herself and was about to walk inside when the ticket-vender called out to her, "We have an audio tour if you're interested, mam."

Heping wasn't used to being referred to with such respect, "Uh- sure."

The woman noticed her accent, "We have some available in Chinese if you'd like."

Heping felt slightly flattered but also embarrassed. Was it bad that her accent was that obvious? "Thank you, but I would like the English version, please." 

Maybe listening to more English would help her correct for her accent?

She took the small rectangular box and plugged in the earbud- there was only one, not the usual two- and moved through the gates and up the marble path leading to the acropolis, doing her best to memorize the small, paper map given to her.

She wandered around relatively aimlessly before finding some leylines. She followed them, inspecting them to the best of her abilities; taking soil samples and passing energy through them to test their soundness. She couldn't find anything wrong with them, even as she moved along with them. The same had been true of her other tests, so she hadn't been too surprised, but still, whatever was wrong with the Grail War, it didn't seem to be related to the this- but she didn't have any other immediate explanation to replace the thesis, and so wasn't quite ready to abandon it.

These leylines would lead her to the mountain's peak, which gave her an unmatched view of the city. It was beautiful. The baby-blue sky reflected off the white horizon, with the tall, thin mountain peaks casting shadows over the city below. The ruins themselves were beautiful too, if tragic. The white marble was enchanting, and their construction was a miracle of their time, but most of the ruins in Athens had been destroyed by the invading Persians, and what was left was damaged almost beyond recognition.

She was reminded of a recent news story of how a meteor had crashed into the Temple of Zeus. It made her sad to think of how these things would fall apart in the end, especially after lasting so long. The way they struggled to stand the test of time- it was romantic in its melancholy.

Throughout it all, Pigsy said nothing. It was uncharacteristic of him, and made her worry, but not too much. Though the Acropolis was a hub for leylines, it was also a hub for tourists. Even if another master had set up their base here, it wouldn't be somewhere that she would stumble across. As long as Pigsy stayed in Spirit Form and she hid her Command Seals, she should be fine so long as the Master wasn't so aggressive that they would risk harming civilians.

That thought had been meant to calm her down, but made her worry instead.

'What if coming here leads to the death of civilians? If someone was already so desperate that they would risk their own life, would they even be reasonable enough to spare non-combatants as a matter of course?'

Maybe Pigsy was right. She should get out of here the moment she was finished with her work. The only place left was the old marketplace at the base of the mountain- more of a garden than an urban center now.

Following the leylines, she moved towards the edge of the garden and began to take more samples. Nothing seemed to be different-

"What are you doing, miss?"

She turned around and saw what she could assume was a security guard looking down at her. He was thin, even gaunt, such that the tan uniform hung off his frame. He was relatively young with unkempt stubble and a messy, wavy blue mohawk. 

"Oh- uh. Sorry, I was just taking some soil samples." 

She was flustered, she hadn't realized someone was nearby, and no one who had seen had stopped her up to this point.

"Can you tell me who gave you permission to do this?"

His accent was strange, a mutt of Mediterranean dialects. Greek and Italian seemed first among these mixing accents, but it was just a guess. Her training in learning other languages was long ago at this point, and she lacked confidence in her analysis, but it seemed to be worth noting: he wasn't from around here. 

"Oh. I am just doing this for a school project."

"Is that right? What university?"

'Damn.'

Pigsy squealed in her ear, 'Run. Run away. This guy is bad news -oink-.'

'Quiet, Pigsy. I can handle this.'

'Don't call me Pigsy -oink-! What if this guy can read minds?'

She ignored her Servant's squeals and continued, "I am an exchange student, here from China."

He turned his head and examined her carefully, "Well, do you have an email or something from the manager here? I'm sorry, but you can't just do this without permission, ya know."

"I do not. Perhaps you could take me to them so I could get permission?"

'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING -SQUEE-!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?'

He watched her closely before looking away for a moment, thinking.

She couldn't just run. Making trouble now would bring far more attention than she needed. If this could be settled peaceably, then she would try for it.

"Sure, yeah. I could do that. Mind coming with me, miss?"

"Not at all." 

She started packing up her stuff and threw her backpack around her shoulders.

'Stop! Stop! Run -oink-! He's gonna kill you, dammit!'

In the silence, she found the time to respond to his persistent squawks, 'We do not know that he's an enemy Master. If he is not, then this is the best thing to do. Besides that, look at his hands. No gloves, and no Command Seals.'

'Do you have any idea how many mages could disguise something as small as a tattoo?!'

She began to follow the guard through the garden, keeping an eye on her surroundings.

'We need to go -oink-! Now -oink-! '

'I told you, I have this under control.'

'Let me tell you this, lady -oink-: a pig's nose doesn't lie! There's somethin' funky goin' on here, and we gotta book it!'

She ignored him again. She knew from the map that there was another entrance in this general direction, so there was still a solid chance that everything was fine. It was possible that the guard was being mind-controlled in some capacity, but even so, there should've been no way to tell that she was a Master, and so as long as she could create a semi-believable bluff, she would be fine.

Regardless she kept an eye on her surroundings, ready for anything that would come from the bushes. They entered a small clearing with a brick path and white stone benches.

Something was off.

She readied herself, watching her surroundings.

'What did I tell you! Run! A pig's nose never lies -oink-!'

'Not now Pigs-'

A stone bounced across the bricks to her right.

She turned sharply and readied herself, charging her circuits.

But there wasn't anything there. Nothing but a click from the guard now on her left. Turning back to him, he was holding an assault rifle in one hand, pointed at her.

"Mind givin' me your name, miss?"

She stopped and considered her options. Looking around for whatever caused that stone to move. Was it an enemy Servant, or the work of magecraft?

"Hey, now. Eyes on me."

She turned back to him, internally flustered by her hesitation. She raised her hands slightly, but she wasn't afraid. This 'guard' was clearly inexperienced. He was holding the rifle all wrong, and she could see his arm shaking from the weight of it. He wouldn't be able to hold it like that much longer, and, if he actually fired, he would miss by a country mile, and she could disarm him easily. It was the possibility of another Servant that was the problem.

'What did I tell you!? No one ever listens to the pig!'

"What's your name? Don't make me ask a third time."

She swallowed, "Heping."

"What family?"

"I do not know what you mean."

"That right? Take off your gloves."

"This is sexual harassment."

"That ain't gonna work on me, broad. Off with the gloves."

'Run, DAMMIT!'

She held up her right hand and slowly pulled off the glove, revealing her Command Seals. A triangle within but overlapping a circle, a dot at each corner.

"That's what I thought." 

A strange smile appeared on his face: the smile of someone in control of the situation. Forming in the air, walking out from behind the bench the guard stood in front of, was another figure, presumably the guard's Servant.

He was awe-inspiring, an ethereal spirit of gold and silver. His metallic armor was colored with bits of jade as golden light encased him like vines. His golden hair floated in the air as if underwater, and his mask was elegant but cold.

She heard Pigsy let out a pitiful, telepathic, 'oink'.

The guard spoke again, "Your turn."

Could she do anything? Power radiated off of the armored figure, the pressure preventing her movement.

There was nothing to do except to go along, "Lancer."

Pigsy manifested next to her. Coming to her mid-thigh, he was dressed not in his earlier casual wear, but was adorned in the same clothes he had worn when he was summoned: a blue and white robe that exposed his chest and belly, and a kasa hat that gave shade to his small head. He held his nine-tooth rake in his left hand- though it was shaking slightly. He hid his fear well, all things considered.

"Alright, 'Heping', I've got a proposition for you."

....