(2nd of September)
"Haabibaaa haarunna" a deep and loud voice shouted from behind me.
And all of a sudden I felt this blood rich through my veins, this peace calling my name, this wave of rage, and I stopped and turns back.
" habiba, habiba get down you full" an angry voice screened while dragging my skirt.
I know this place it's a... it's my.... it's... me
" I am sorry, sorry " I shouted
"Nooooo, no no no no, I don't, I don't"
I was both scared and afraid but deep down I knew how this ends with me waking up and vibrating with my heart jumping out of me, with me being afraid.
************
" habiba why are you screaming mom asked as she heats my ass as hard as ever
" Hmmmm um mom" still sleepy, I said as I was stretching my body's core.
"Habiba why are you?" she looked worried, and she did not complete her statement.
"Mom where are we?" Looking stressed I asked.
"my room?" she replied with a smirk, as if she knew what I was going to say
"Habiba how was your night?" She seemed to care about her insane little daughter how lovely.
"Fine ma" I answered with a low voice as I was rolling my eyes in search of a wall clock or something.
"What's the time?" I added, but still I was confusing look that I had in my eyes.
"7:30am" this time she was looking at the wall clock in her room
" What?" I need to go and pray, *no* may be till tomorrow before I would pray by God's grace.
Ya ALLAH,
please forgive me my sins, I know I am not a perfect Muslim but please make me one, please help me to start praying every day I need it I need to be prayerful, I want to be close to you, you are the only one I worship and you are the only one I will serve please make this easy for me.
Yours servant habiba.
"Umm won't you go and" she stopped as she realizes that she two has not prayed
" I think we both need to pray" she added
" yeah I will do that in my room" I answered as I tried to escape this
" Yeah better she was obviously speechless and could not do anything as she has not yet prayed.
I went straight to my room as I hurriedly claimed my bed from the emptiness that felt it, I was one lucky girl, I did close the door behind me, you know I was not ready to explain what I do not know right, I picked up my phone and tried to see my contacts list, I wanted to know if I could call anyone.
But, *wait!* just wait a sec it was empty I mean empty, I only had mom and dad on the phone's contact, but was this true but if this was, it can't be I don't think it is true, then who is Maryam, who is she?, was it all a dream or maybe I never had friends in the real world.
I took the box from under my bed as I scanned them one after the other once again, but we looked happy, we really did, what did all this mean to me, I mean I looked really happy how comes I do not have any of this memory, how comes.
It was only a matter of seconds before water rushed down from all sides of my eyes uncontrollably I was not able to even clean them cos it just kept flowing, I looked down in the box and I felt this peace in me, but I was frightened by the fact that I might be lost, far away from home and who knows how far that might be, it might be two contents from here who knows.
Tears were still running down my eyes but this time it was not running with its previous speed and I was now able to clean the trace of it from my eyes, I looked in the pictures and there was this peace it now made me fell, like all my problems would disappear and I would be free to sour the sky like a free bird.
I have now decided to call the number who texted me, I know it's a bad idea but I don't think I have anything too lose I believe, I took my phone from the dressing mirror which was it charging point and threw it on my bed, I sat down beside it and gave a deep breath.
"Hmmmmmmm" it was like meditation for me, I really felt better and all the tears were gone and now its peace.
I took up a piece of pen and paper and scrambled some words on the picture book's frame in capital I wrote boldly
"I will stop at nothing until I find the people responsible for all my pains and sufferings"
Then I picked up my phone and captured it, I wanted to remember this every day, right now I have no cause of living no reason for fighting but this will keep me going and I know it.
I tried calling the number and the phone was vibrating but the owner did not pick, I mean what the hell?, I called trice because I kind of believe it feels like the most African thing to do, and so I did, after my third attempt and the receiver at the other end still decided not to pick up the phone I just decided not to call again, I guess it was best for the both of us.
" Vrummm vurumnm" (phone vibrating) it was the number calling now.
"Don't pick"!
" Don't pick habiba"! My subconsciousness warns me, I obeyed as it seems like I am not able to move and control my own body, it was the texting number.
"Hello?... Hello" yes I did it I picked.
"Chat on watts app" a deep voice said and cut the call I really could not differentiate if the voice was a male or a female.
I later fell asleep without knowing when and how, but all I knew was that I slept deep, and on my stomach which I find very relaxing and cool even if it was haram in Islam, I woke up some minutes after ten, and so I decided to eat my break fast, I went into the kitchen as I over heard some workers talking about dad I was shocked they seem to not like him a lot and prefer mom since she was down to their level I pretended as if I was deaf and quickly dished out my cold food as I was too lazy to microwave it and too nice to boss one of the workers around.
I went into my room and I could not help it but to be lost in my thoughts I decided to make my self fell better as I switched on my data and I decided to search online for the word *amnesia *because of my condition but before I enter the browser something caught my attention was brought to an application called WhatsApp, It was the app the person was talking about, and so I clicked on it and then it said sign in, I clicked on the register button, after clicking on it.
"WAIT A MINUTE" my inner voice yelled, why did your parents come to the police office with your bag pack and phone?, how did they get the materials if they were not in Nigeria when I went missing?, I continued registering after which it showed *user already has an account sign in instead I was shocked but I did and it worked messages came in, but they read *you can't read messages click here to find out why* which I did but it was showing stuffs that I don't understand, it was only a matter of time before the texting number charted me up, and we charted it went quite okay I believe.
I parked the picture book and kept it back under my bed before I started charting.
("High"
The number was having a man as the profile, was it really a man I was talking to?
*hi😂* I was scared deep down
"do you really want to know?😈"
*maybe* even more scarred
"Meet me at the new mall market it is close to the estate in which you live"
*anything tell me hear* there was no way I will meet someone who I don't know
"Why?are you scared"
*I woke up in the middle of now where and I still suffer from something really tragic, why won't I be*
"Oh no😭😭"
*tell me here and now*
"😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯"
*😢 its sad I guess*
"😕"
*I am feed up with your games😵* I said cos I had nothing to lose
"Yeah me too😤😤"
*what's your problem!😬*
"you are the solution to that prob😳😒"
*stop talking😣*
"I need to see you😰"
*if you don't stop talking to me, I will tell mom to tell dad to 👻 you down*
"go ahead👻 me down"
*mommmmmmm👵*
"Louder she can't hear you💀"
*you are a full🙊*
"So are you baby😹😸😻"
* blocked🙏*
"Bye😚😚 I have nothing to lose love")
I did not understand the excessive use of emoji's but I guess it was kind of fun clicking them.
I saw it but I did not pay attention to him, I don't know how to block a number, if not he would have been so dead right now or should I say so blocked right now, I tried to make any sense but nothing was coming only thoughts that were I'll relevant.
I wanted to meet dad but then realized that he travelled, so I decide to personally picked it upon my self and chat with dad for a while I saw it too.
" When are we going to visit your dad?" she asked as she opens my door and steps in, *shit* I did not key the door properly, thank God I kept the picture book back.
" Why?, when is he coming back?" I quickly asked.
"Your dad travelled to Lagos for their parties primary election" what?
"Ma" I was still in doubt
"your dad wants to become the governor of his state" she was really happy, and I guess she must be proud
"Which state?" I asked mom fullishlly as I knew that we were all from Kaduna state.
" kaduna" she said with a cracked voice, it sounds teary
"mom I was kidding dads from KD and you are from sokoto...., yes..., no....., yes....., no you are also from Kaduna" I replied
"Hummm" she replied.
Things started playing in my head and I could remember the time I was graduating from SS3 class it was me mom and I with...., with....., with...., there is....., is...., a....., there is a ...., girl....., not just any girl...., that..., that Maryam girl ...., but what was she doing there?, hum mm hum mm hum mm hum mm hum mm hum mm hum mm hum mm.
I was now running out if oxygen, and finally I was on the floor as if it was something I could not live without, Thank God Mom was watching the whole thing as she quickly called the doctor and ......
"Hello Habiba""habiba" "mabiba" can you hear me mom was scared
"um" I just woke up and was turning
"owwutch" I exclaimed while siting down and holding my head as my head hurts badly,
"are you OK" she was really stressed out and looked tired
"y.....e...s..." I said really slow as this was the only thing I could say and these words were very difficult for me to pronouns,
"calm down" the doctor said as he held me and was putting me back on the bed
"I am fine " I removed his grip as I looked for something to cover my hair with.
They were talking but I could rarely hear a thing I started hallucinating slowly it was just memories playing in my head over and over again it was an image of me and a girl we were both wearing wife cloth and it covered our hole body, "no this is not a memory" I told my self as I realized we were both dead, and were buried.
I sank deep this time in my sleep which lasted for ages.
I woke up early today not my usual time of waking up, I stood up and stretched my hands, I was thirsty, so I decided to get water before I sleep back and so as I went directly to the kitchen as I was already dyeing of taste, I did not suspect anything as I was going cos I was damn thirsty, I took two cups down my neck to the river down and the only thing it managed to do was to wet my throat and internal organs, I wanted to take the third but no, I was filled up, I was walking back up as I realized that the upstairs pallor light was switched on, I wanted to go and switch it off, as I went closer and closer I started hearing voices it was not of mom and dad it was of dad and ...