I think I have always had a crush on Nikolai, but I have never had the guts to say it or act on it. He was older, more mature, and had girlfriend after girlfriend. I still hear stories about him even though I am a senior and he has been graduated for three years now. I guess when you are the head quarterback for the football team and sleep with almost every cheerleader, your reputations stick. But I never looked at him like that. He was sweet with me, always nice and helped me when I would get bullied in middle school. I was ecstatic when Samara tried out to be in band sophomore year just because it gave me a reason to watch him play on the field. He was so sweaty, dripping soaked through his hair. I would've gave my life to just be close to him in that moment. But sadly, I sat by bruising myself as he would kiss others. Meanwhile, I knew Samara would hate me for even thinking about him.