Fear of retaliation didn't register in my head. I'd been cured of the venom and Sacchan had been fixed. So when Bishamonten started groveling on the floor, I did what any sane person named Micchi would have done— I stomped on her head.
"The fuck do you mean you need our help? Where'd those balls go? Get up so I can hit ya properly," I said, grinding my feet like smushing a bug.
"Calm down there, tiger. Why don't we hear her out first? Yui, give me a hand!" Anya put her arms under my armpits to pull me away.
Yui didn't care for anything else other than the food on the table."I'm not getting in the way of an angry Anego."
The only thing going through my head was to get a slug off Bishamonten. Seeing her in that pitiful state made me want to humiliate her more than she'd done to herself. There were dozens of people in the restaurant. They saw their empress, the most powerful person they ever laid eyes on, licking the floor for help.
"Anya, Let her go." Bishamonten stood to her feet.
"If I do that, Micchi here ain't stopping until you're tenderized." Anya clicked her tongue and let me go.
I couldn't recall what happened next. My first was pulsing. Bishamonten had crashed into a vendor stall and was laying on a pile of wooden rubble. I laid into her like it was no one's business, but she wouldn't fight back or defend herself.
"Why? Fight back, you bitch! Ain't this what you wanted? You hurt my girls, at least commit to being the fucking villain." I raised a fist with every intention of hitting her again, but it wouldn't come down. The old me wouldn't have stopped. What changed? I lifted her by the collar of the kimono. "What gives you the right to ask for our help?"
The girl who was titled after a god looked me in the eyes. Despite how much of a beating she took, seeing her almost unfazed by it all dawned on me how much weaker I was in comparison.
"Nothing," she answered.
It was hard not to sneer. "I think I know why. That Yonnu kid got taken away, and you can't find him. Ain't that right?"
"Yes," she said.
"Forget it. You're on your own." I let go of her collar to make my way back to the restaurant where Anya, Yui, Bogart, and the dryad were waiting at the hole in the wall.
Anya and Yui's eyes went wide. They got into a defensive stance just as I heard fire igniting behind me. Bishamonten transformed into her god-mode, with the flaming right arm carrying Kamigoroshi, and ribbons wreathed behind her like a halo.
"Tsk. It's a fight after all?" I pulled Sacchan from the sling expecting a fight, but Bishamonten flew off towards her pagoda.
"Micchi!"
"Lady Micchi!"
Two familiar pipsqueaks raced down the road. Theo tackled me with a hug, and Pino bent over catching his breath.
"Why am I… the one out of breath… Second Prince, how are you so fast?" Pino sat himself on the ground.
"The hell's going on? You two got out on your own?" I asked.
"Empress Kaoru let us out," the cavalry-captain said.
All of us scratched our heads in confusion.
"She kidnapped you guys. Weren't you being held prisoners?" Yui knelt down and put a hand on Theo's head.
Theo shook his head. "I was playing with Yonnu the whole time."
"Well… They were playing… she did other things to me," Pino said, casting a sidelong glance and blushing.
"Someone mind explaining to me what's going on?" I shouted.
We went our separate ways from Bogart. She wanted to return to the Everburning Forge to continue working. We returned to the inn. Pino gave us a detailed account of what happened after being kidnapped in Ou'waeka. He made sure to omit most of the bed manner escapades and was red up to his ears avoiding the topic.
"Pino, you dog. I bet you made her squeal with pleasure," Yui said, nudging him with her elbow.
"I-I'm a hare, not a dog!" He pulled his ears down to cover his face.
Anya couldn't stop laughing from all the teasing they're giving him. "I knew Kaokao was a brocon. Guess her being a shotacon is just two feathers of the same bird. You should be proud, kid. She likes 'em young!"
"I'll have you know, I'm the youngest to ever become cavalry-captain at eighteen. It's just… I didn't know the empress had those sort of predilections…" he said, eyes beginning to spin and trailing off.
"Okay, let's rewind a bit. Bishamonten kidnapped you guys just for the hell of it, but she didn't do anything bad. Then this morning, Emperor Yonnu got himself kidnapped?" I asked in confirmation.
Pino nodded, his demeanor turning grim. "This has the potential to cause a great political upheaval within the UKD, having lost a primary member of the alliance. Certainly you understand the ramifications, Viceroy of Ash'tar?"
"Ah, man. Fuck politics. But the kid's right. Kaokao alone ain't enough to influence the UKD since she's an outsider. Yonnu's got a thousand year lineage worth of influence. For him to go missing pretty much means there's no leader in Jinwa right now," Anya explained.
"I'm missing the point where it concerns me," I said.
Yui, who had been giving Theo a piggyback ride, leaned down close enough for him to chop my forehead.
"You got a bowling ball-sized sack to do that, kiddo." I grinned.
"Yonnu is my friend. We have to help him," Theo pleaded.
I guess the whole point of coming here was to break bread with Jinwa. The idea of helping that bitch left a sour taste in my mouth. Maybe if I think about it another way I'd feel better about myself.
Help Theo to help Yonnu to help Kain. Yeah. That sounded about right. Fuck everything else.
"Fine. We'll help 'em. I ain't gonna like it, but I'll do it for you." I ruffled Theo's hair. He and Pino both looked relieved despite my reluctance. "Pino, take Theo and the dryad girl to the Everburning Forge."
"Are you going to speak with the empress?" Pino asked.
"Bishamonten probably ain't in the right mind to think, but I got a feeling whodunnit," I said.
We dropped the three of them off like parents taking their kids to daycare. The safest place for them was probably with Bogart and Slayn. I doubted the same people who kidnapped Yonnu would think to search for a couple of rugrats at a forge.
"You know who did it?" Yui ran back to me and Anya after seeing them off at the door.
"Just an idea. What better way to flush them out than some good ol' fashion yankee diplomacy?" I smirked.