'Did this really happen?' Fen's consciousness rose from the foggy memory and finally became capable of thought rather than being forced to relive his memories, letting him realize his own confusion. The emotion clarified his situation for a brief moment, which snowballed until his consciousness became able of realizing that the memory he was experiencing was separate from his own existence.
His awakening came just as sudden as the feeling of blankness in his head; he didn't remember any of this from the past, and the thoughts in his brain refused to connect no matter how hard he tried- the questions that he had were left unanswered by his sudden blank in memory. And yet, he was experiencing this memory from his past, so there was no way that he couldn't remember it, right? It wouldn't make sense otherwise.
But at the same time, how could he experience a forgotten memory from his own brain? That'd be like finding Raisen's sanity bottled up in a drawer somewhere when you knew that the old Knight never had one to begin with- it was impossible
Inside the deepest crevices of his memory, there were many different events and experiences that he never wanted to think about again, things that were stored away for a reason, but that didn't mean that they were forgotten. On bad days, he'd see flashes of memory that reminded him why he was fighting to go home, and why he should feel angry. Those were his memories, but when he tried to recall his childhood, loneliness clawed at his chest without giving him a reason why.
The feeling of pain that invaded his mind and demanded vengeance against the world when he was a kid clawed onto his muscles and left him limp and fragile and exposed to the world, those feelings covered his memories like a sticky and dark goo that obscured everything else, but no matter how much his rage and despair altered the way he thought about the past, he should still be able to remember the important events that defined who he was and why he was still fighting in the damned Program.
'No, I do remember this- but it wasn't this bad. Wait, no, was it worse? I don't remember Miko helping me until I was older... right?' A small headache bloomed in his head and made it harder for him to think, pounding away at his temple. 'I remember getting hurt a lot, but this is... too much. Shit, why is it so hard to remember? It's... so hard to... think...' His mind was getting fuzzier with every moment that passed while his consciousness started to ease back into the memory.
The headache that bloomed earlier started to root its way into his mind, using the pain it caused to force him back into the memory that blanketed his thoughts like a wet fog. Fen tried to use the pain to stay conscious, but even as it stung into his brain, it also numbed him and made him lose the will to stay awake.
The more he struggled, the faster it numbed him. In any other situation, Fen would've stopped fighting it to gain more time to think, but he was terrified of what would happen if he let himself be dragged into the memory again.
What if he didn't wake up like this again? He couldn't afford to stay trapped in here, he had to get back to... to... what exactly did he need to do again?
'Arghh, what the hell is happening... What was I doing before I fell here....?' Before he could even realize it, the numbing of his mind grew to a level that he wasn't capable of resisting until his ability to think disappeared.
Miko's mom came back into focus as his mind was dragged away from everything else, erasing his ego and replacing it with his younger self so he could experience the memory in even more clarity.
She returned to the comfy-looking living room with a red kit with a familiar-looking plus sign on it. At the same time, the rattling sound of the items made from within the kit made him wince from the reminder that he was injured. For a moment it felt like his mind had been sucked into some other place, but the feeling quickly passed and with it, the pain of his injuries returned in full force.
He looked down at his body and saw the dark bruises forming on his body, highlighted by his pale skin. The marks formed dark splotches of color that accurately showed how much Gary had beat him, from his shoulders and back to down all the way to his shins. Some of the discolorations still stung from his hits, but most of them were recovered enough from the initial beating to progress into the aching stage.
Surprisingly, the pain he felt was a lot less than he thought he should. Maybe it was because of the adrenaline still running through his body from running with Miko, but he looked a lot worse than he felt, at least for right now.
'Let's hope it stays that way,' he mumbled. He wasn't looking forward to waking up the next morning with aches all over his body, but reality looked like it was heading in that direction.
Fen was uncomfortable with the idea of going to the hospital, but if his injuries continued to throb throughout the next week, or worse, they get infected, then he'd have no other choice.
'But I really don't want to meet those bastards again. There's only one hospital nearby that treats kids without needing any consent from a guardian, thank Heaven that places like that exist, but because everyone else knows that it exists, people like Tim and Argyle hang around that area waiting for injured kids like me.'
Fen frowned at the memory of when he was a little younger; after getting beat up for the umpteenth time, he finally headed to the hospital because he had no idea what he'd do if he didn't. Back then, the pain had gotten so bad that he could barely walk without shivering in pain from the mere air rubbing against his skin.
He couldn't bring his parents to take him because he never explained what was happening to him to them. Throughout his life, he already had an overabundance of problems that they had to deal with for his sake, so just this once, he didn't want to make them worry.
There did come a time when they started to question why their child wore so many baggy clothes, why he had such deep bags under his eyes, and why he disliked going out so much, but he always managed to wiggle through their suspicions.
One specific conversation came to mind when his Dad smirked at him while looking outside with the blaring sun, saying, "Say Fen, why don't you go and put on some lighter clothes? It's a little hot to wear a sweater and pants, isn't it?"
His father must have caught the shadow that flashed across his face because his warm expression dropped instantly into one filled with worry. Mom didn't catch it, her back was to him while she rubbed at Alex's head, but she absently nodded her head and agreed.
"I like the space inside the clothes, I can do stuff like this!" Fen controlled his face and smile while pulling his arms inside the sweater, doing his best not to start erupting in sweat from how warm it was.
"You sure, hon? It is a little hot..." Mom finally turned around, her eyes widening after understanding why her husband brought the subject up. "Wow, you hiding anything under all that?"
Another false smile, another vague excuse, and with their trust in him, they finally dropped it.
If anything, Alex was the most naive of them. She was still too young to be fully exposed to the world's cruelty to even suspect what was going on- and Fen made sure of it. He wasn't strong enough to protect her, but he was damn well determined to show whoever messed with her that it wasn't worth it by putting his own body in harm's way.
If they tried to get to her, he'd throw his body at their feet and claw them to the ground. And if that didn't work, then he'd use whatever limb he could to drag them to the floor. Those people usually gave up after beating him a few times. The more stubborn ones were a literal pain to deal with, but all it cost him were a few more bruises and aches to deal with. Taking beatings was a skill that he was highly proficient in thanks to his many experiences.
If you do something a hundred times, you get more efficient at doing that specific action- and if you repeat it hundreds of times, you could be comparable to professionals. Some people applied that to other practices like throwing a punch or skating, but Fen? He applied that idea to taking hits.
He learned how to hold himself to not aggravate the worst of his injuries because of the aches in his body and how they reacted when he moved in certain ways. When different parts of his body were hurt, he gained some experience with biology after feeling how his body reacted. It was a weird way to learn, but Fen had long since made use of taking advantage of what he'd been given just to stay sane.
Without that kind of attitude he would've already given up; the pain just wasn't something a ten-year-old could take without some kind of help.
"-Fen? You there?" Miko's voice snapped him back to attention and he realized that she was waving her hand in front of her eyes with a worried look in her eyes. She sighed with relief after watching him flinch back from how close she was and said, "Oh thank the Heavens, I thought you had brain damage or something."
Her mom smacked her across the head while she scolded, "Don't say that! It's rude." The medical supplies that she carried in were already laying ready on the couch, just waiting for her to apply them to Fen. Right now, she was in the kitchen washing her hands so she wouldn't get him dirty with her hands covered in dust and grime from cleaning around the house before he arrived.
He could hear the clatter of dishes as she washed her hands, making him wonder if she was also trying to wash them at the same time- if so, he had to praise her for being efficient.
But despite her reprimand to her daughter, Mrs. Kakawasaki had the same worried look on her face. Although she had much more control over her actions than her young daughter, the explanation Miko gave her while Fen was zoning out about what exactly happened worried her more than the bruises covering his body. In a fight between a young kid like him and someone like Gary, it wouldn't be impossible for him to get a concussion from his skull being rattled like that at the very least. It could be even worse if what she imagined happened was better than reality.
She waved the water from her hands that managed to escape from her drying cloth and came around to poke at his head, wincing after seeing him flinch away from the sudden touch.
Miko jumped off the couch after seeing her mom come closer and went to sit on another chair, making it so that her mom could be closer to Fen while treating his injuries. Before she jumped, however, the young girl gave him another look full of worry, to which Fen ignored and pulled his body up from his position laying down.
The couch was a little too comfortable for his taste; he was worried that he'd fall asleep before he even noticed, and with his head throbbing like it was, that might actually happen.
Mrs. Kawasaki sat down next to him and pulled the red kit of supplies to her lap, cracking it open and rummaging through the items inside to find a certain something. Bland bandages were strewn aside for later while some tape was measured and cut by her daughter until she finally managed to locate the bottle of anti-bacterial spray she was looking for.
Fen eyed the bottle wearily before preemptively surrendering his hands to her, knowing that it was better to just get the whole cleansing pain over with. To his surprise, she gently smacked his hands away and peered into his eyes, pressing her motherly hands across his head.
"Are you feeling any dizziness? Nausea? Headache? What about some..."
Fen then proceeded to nod no to every one of her questions that were obviously taken from a single search on the internet, watching as she noticeable grew calmer at every positive response she received.
He didn't notice it before, but she and Miko resembled each other a lot. With their long and dark hair that hung around their shoulders, and eyes that somehow made black into a warm and friendly color, the two of them could've passed for sisters if not for the obvious age difference.
"Okay... Well, if you start feeling any of those things let me know so we can go to the hospital," She sighed before taking the cut medical tape that Miko finished preparing, taking her time with giving his body a thorough look.
"It doesn't look like you're bleeding from anywhere besides your arms, and these are minor scratches too."
Fen nodded, "The cuts were from the ground; his fists only did the bruises- Gah."
A small grunt escaped his lips after she applied some of the cleaning liquid to his arms, but he quickly controlled himself and forced himself to still by tightening some of his lesser-affected muscles.
Mrs. Kawasaki quickly applied some ointment to maintain the wound's cleanliness before sealing it with a bandage and then wrapping the whole thing with medical tape. She remarked, "You seem to have some experience with this kind of stuff. You get injured like this a lot?"
She kept an observant eye on him while she spoke, watching for any reaction that might give away how often he'd been in situations like this. His comfortableness with anti-bacterial sprays that stung and burned open wounds, along with his appreciative attitude wasn't normal for a kid his age. Hell, some adults still acted like children when facing a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.
Fen didn't reveal anything from his reaction, nodded in response, not trusting his voice after forcing himself to endure the waves of pain terminating from his cuts. When the waves subsided, he said, "Well, not every day, but yeah. At least for this, I know the pain is good and won't hurt me after a while like these," he gestured towards his bruises with his chin while his hands were almost done getting wrapped.
Mrs. Kawasaki frowned after hearing him while a spark of anger showed in her eyes. After a few moments, her anger erupted in an exasperated question as she asked, "What the hell are your parents doing if you're getting hurt like this all the time? Can't they see what's going on?"
She didn't expect an answer and Fen knew that, but her anger at his condition was enough to make a smile crack apart the apathetic expression on his face. His change in expression shocked not only her but also him before he straightened his lips again in a firm line, which looked oddly cute on the ten-year-old.
"It's better if they don't know. This way, they don't have to worry about me. But... thank you, for worrying about me. A lot of the adults that see what happens just ignore it, pretending that they don't see what's going on, so thank you."
"You shouldn't have to thank me. For Heaven's sake, you shouldn't have to deal with this every day! No kid your age should..."
She let her words trail off with more frustrated mutters before letting him relax back onto the couch after she finished. Miko just stood watching to the side, opening her mouth at certain times but not knowing what to say in a conversation about a topic that she didn't understand as well as them.
Even though she attended the same school as Fen, she wasn't like him. No matter how hard she tried to match her interests and hobbies with his own, their situations prevented her from perfectly imitating him- and her attempts to have a conversation with him never worked anyways.
People constantly surrounded her just to talk to the point where it became impossible for her to notice what else was going on simultaneously, which was part of the reason why she didn't notice the extent to which Fen was being treated.
But, a small part of her wondered if she'd do the same thing today then if she didn't know. She hoped she would have, but... there was no way to be sure.
Clenching his fists and feeling the support of the material wrapped around his arms, Fen leaned off the couch and stood up, saying, "Well, uh... thank you, for this."
His dark eyes glowed in appreciation, to which the both of them nodded in response. Miko's mom looked like she aged another decade in the time that she treated his wounds- probably from the added stress of thinking about his well-being- while Miko was simply tired.
"Wait, where are you going?" One of them called out to him after seeing him step towards the door. He looked back and responded with, "home, obviously." After saying that, he left the two of them stunned on the couch and walked outside, beginning the trip back to his house. This time though, he was careful not to be spotted by anybody.