Dey worked Fen hard, causing several different wounds on his body. The youth would get close, extremely close to finishing the Flame magic spellwork before the energy collapsed in on itself, the sign of a failed magic spellwork.
The God had to give credit to the kid though, Fen didn't get discouraged from the many failures. The youth's dedication to work almost made him jealous. If he had had that work ethic when he was still a teenager, who knows where he would've ended up instead of being a God in a forbidden space in the universe.
Instead, he had merely followed the instructions of the army to prepare against Heaven's army and it's horrifyingly powerful constructs. He had no reason to fight other than his own survival, but that was the same motive that Fen had, and yet the difference between them was like night and day.
'Enough dwelling about the past. I need to focus on training him so he lives past the first Task, otherwise I'll lose a Vitul and potential friend.' Even if you looked everywhere in the universe, the number of free Vituls were small, not even enough to occupy a single planet. Compared to the hundreds of planets colonized by Stellar Cluster Grade civilizations, not to mention those of the Universal Grade, their kind was extremely rare, almost extinct. Deion was unwilling to lose this teenager.
'I made a promise to myself a few years ago. How many decades ago was it when I was scared and alone, with no one to guide me? If someone was there for me when I was by myself, who knows what would've happened.' Dey's promise was just one of the reasons that he was helping Fen. 'He could've lived a normal life if only he wasn't drafted in this damned Program.' Deion felt lingering regret in his heart at what could've been.
Swoosh!
Looking over, Dey could see that Fen had finally managed to connect together a simple Flaming Spear spellwork, the flame magic lighting the Void filled area nearby with its orangish glow.
"Ha! I did it! You see this Dey!" Joy filled Fen's face and heart at that moment, when he had finally proven to himself that he was capable of performing magic. The old God recognized the childish happiness presenting itself in Fen. He reminisced about the time he spent in the old academy.
"Oof!" His joy didn't last long however. Although he had managed to create the Flame magic, he forgot to use the spellwork for his original intention and was swept up in the happiness that succeeding had brought him. Dey hadn't slowed down his assault either, so a blast of air hit him square in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him.
He quickly recovered, but his timing wasn't fast enough. Before even a few seconds could pass, enough spellworks had surrounded him that even moving became a challenge from the magical pressure that they were all creating. The thought of being afraid didn't even cross his mind; Fen was too busy admiring at how quickly Dey organized the spellworks.
"You did well Fen. But, next time don't get caught up in your emotions and instead focus on the task at hand." Dey snickered. "Although, I did enjoy getting to kick your ass for a few hours. It's been a great many years since I've been able to relieve my stress with a living punching-bag."
"Though, a punching bag that complained less would be much more preferable."
Fen could only grumble at the remark. Even if Dey did act like a self-centered prick sometimes, which might be regular for a God, he did offer him some helpful advice. Focusing more would help him tremendously, but... small part of him didn't want to let go of those emotions, no matter how annoying.
He pulled himself to a comfortable sitting position and started to stretch his aching body. A yawn escaped from his mouth, making him realize how tired he was.
"Hah. It's ironic, isn't it?"
"What is?"
"Back on Earth, I was struggling to express myself, you know, and show more emotions-"
"I can't imagine it." Dey cut in with an emotionless voice. Even if his body of energy didn't have any facial features or ways to express emotion, Fen could tell that the God was smirking, the bastard.
"Shut up, you're starting to go senile old man."
Multiple energy veins started to throb on Dey's body, threateningly.
"Anyways, I lived fifteen years of my life with only three friends. My little sister Alex, and my parents. That was it. I didn't have any other friends. Er, rather, I didn't allow myself to have anybody else." he scoffed. "Somehow, I managed to convince myself that nobody else was good enough for me. Now I know that was bullshit, a lie that I created for my own convenience. The truth was that I was afraid of being rejected. I know that's the truth because every single time I rejected Miko's requests for friendship, a little part of me was happy that she came to see me."
Dey calmly listened to the boy's story. Another time he would've said a snarky comment, but he could sense the pent-up emotions inside him.
Fen frowned as he recalled more and more about his past.
"I didn't treat her well. I insulted her, yelled at her, even screamed, just for her to keep coming back. Hah, now that I think about it, isn't that a little concerning? A normal person would've ran away and never come back. I guess I should be thankful she isn't normal.
I was so afraid that she would stop coming back. Eventually, I realized that fear, and allowed her to come in." His gaze softened, and a soft sigh escaped from his lips. "It was the happiest year of my life. She helped me become more human. I worked hard to make up my past actions, prove to myself that I was worthy of her. Even when we spent entire days together, I worried that she'd finally regain her senses and realize what kind of person I was. Indirectly and directly, she changed me into a better person."
His gaze hardened again when he looked back at Dey, who stood silently listening to his story.
"And now all that work will go for nothing, because of the damned Program. Do you understand now, why I have to go back home? Why I allow myself to be taught in such unorthodox ways by people like you and Raisen? It's all so I can go back home." Fen looked back to himself, his gaze drifting along the starless space.
"To my dad, my mom, my sister, and to Miko, my girlfriend, the love of my life."
"If I let myself focus and toss away my emotions then... I might lose her. I can't go home as who I used to be. Gah, it feels like there's two different me's inside my head. The one I want to be, and the one I have to become."
He didn't realize when, but sometime when he was telling his story Dey moved closer to him and set a hand on his head. The God's presence reassured him, even if his touch was starting to make his head feel cold.
"Tell me. Should I worry about becoming a monster, Dey? Just tell me I don't, and I'll do it. I'll focus on becoming someone who will survive this nightmare. I can't make this decision by myself."
The glint in his eyes told Dey that he meant what he said, along with the conviction in his voice.
But the God didn't know what answer to give him.
"Fuu... I've lived a long time Fen. Longer than most other Gods have. I've seen strong people, and I've seen weak people. Wise, proud, arrogant, hedonistic, intelligent, I've seen them all. None of them would be able to give you an answer that you'd like." For once, the mirthful tone in the God's voice was gone, replaced by a solemn and tired voice.
"But, I've also seen monsters. Doing what you have to, in order to survive, won't make you a monster, I swear on my title as a God." Even if he had to lie, Deion was unwilling to lose Fen. Not after such a long time of waiting. Even if it made the youth hate him, he had to make sure he survived.
'You can't come home if you don't change. Even if you come back as a different person, you can always change back into your old self. The dead don't change, they only rot.' thought the tired God. 'Nobody knows if he'll be granted the time to change back when he comes home however. I can't hide him outside this place.'
The smile of relief that Dey saw appear on Fen's face made his heart break. His expression was one that Fen was familiar with, of trust. For some reason the youth placed his trust in him and his answer, not doubting his words for even a second.
Despite the roaring self-hatred inside him, Dey kept a calm expression on his face, while Fen continued to be relieved because of his own ignorance.
****
Two hours later. Personal Training Hall of Squad 42.
There were only a few days left until the first Task. What he did now would have a direct effect on his own chances for survival. Every second he spent familiarizing himself with his magic or going into the Scenario's to buy a useful tool would be a second well spent.
So why was Fen sitting down with the rest of his Squad? He had been asking that question ever since they all agreed to talk with him, but for some reason, he just couldn't form a logical reason in his head.
It was his damned emotions leading his actions again, Fen knew it. But... even if he didn't know the three of them very well, their relationship was slowly changing, maybe into a friendship. And, how could he stop himself from advising a friend? Fen solidified his will to detach himself from his emotions, but only after they had this talk. Until then, he would allow himself to be lead by his heart.
So, Fen was the first one to speak. Clasping his hands together in between his knees with his head facing down, he didn't look very confident with what he was about to say. That, and he was afraid of how they would react when he said his piece.
"I don't think you'll be able to kill during the Task. I'm worried that you might die." A stunned silence followed what he said. Although the three of them were aware of what the Task entailed, the reality of killing someone seemed too far away to worry about, that was why Fen had to remind them now, before they realized too late.
Even in their spars, Gray still hesitated whenever he got a rare chance to strike Fen with his sword. He had shown the two of them his healing abilities over and over again, and while Qin was now able to cut him without hesitation, the boy was still too meek.
During their spars, the three of them were able to get a little closer. Qin treated Gray like a little brother now, and even he didn't treat them with as much coldness.
Their closeness made their survival that much more important to Fen.
"I get Gray, but... why me?"
Rather than arguing, Qin decided to trust in him, which Fen was thankful for.
"Do you remember when we first fought?" Fen brought out his short sword, pressing the blade against his bare shoulder after pulling his uniform down. "You didn't even want to swing at me. You're only able to do so now because you know I won't die, but what about someone else? Can you stab someone who can't heal like me, knowing that you need to kill them?" He applied more pressure to his shoulder, finally drawing blood which ran along the cold steel.
Amelia cut in.
"Why aren't you worried about yourself?"
Fen stopped applying pressure, letting his wound close up and his blood evaporate as his cells died on his sword without his Vital energy. With a face filled with no emotion, he opened his mouth to speak.
"I've already killed. I 've done it before, I can do it again, easily. So now that you know I speak from experience, find a way to make sure that you don't hesitate." He looked directly at Gray. "I hesitated and almost died. Don't rely on your luck like what happened to me."
With his piece said, he stood up and went to the Points Table, sword in one hand, disappearing into the Scenario in front of the stunned eyes of the three teenagers watching.
Inside the Scenario.
Fen crouched near the ground, clutching his head, trying to get a hold on the massive headache threatening to swallow his consciousness whole. The pain immediately started affecting him when he left Dey's reality, but he managed to barely hold it back during his talk with the rest of the Squad. When his grip on the Death Mark was getting shaky, he finished his talk up as fast as he could and left into the Scenario.
At least here, he could vent his pain into his actions.
Shoom!
Brown leaves fell from a tree that Fen slammed his fist into, the kinetic energy almost shattering the entire tree. Now using only one hand to cradle his head, Fen raised his eyes to look around him, a groan escaping from his lips.
"Arghhhh..."
Already, all the creatures nearby were running away, startled by the loud noise he created when he destroyed a tree. During his training with Dey to learn the Flaming Spear spellwork, the God told him the reason for meeting the Lesser Dragon. Apparently, Raisen failed to mention that just like he could sense Vital energy from people near him, monsters could do the same thing.
The Lesser Dragon was attracted by his energy signature, so it wasn't actually his bad luck that caused that, it was his instructor's failure to mention anything. Damned Raisen. Were all the old men around him going senile, or did it just seem like it?
Fen learned how to hide his own energy from Dey while he learned the Flaming Spear spellwork; he treated it as a kind of break from taking the beating that Dey called learning.
Now that he no longer looked like a delicious beacon to the monsters nearby, he could spend his time inside the Scenario much more leisurely. But that wouldn't be a good way to spend time, so, of course, Fen was hunting.
For food? No.
For sport? No, he wasn't that type of monster.
Fen was hunting for the experience of fighting. Now that he learned how to create a Flaming Spear spellwork, he needed experience using it. It just so happened that a few boar-like creatures had traveled to the tree he punched earlier, apparently interested in the disturbance he created. But instead of finding potential prey, they found an empty space.
"Skreee!"
Their quiet sniffing around the area was interrupted by a chilling scream from one of the monsters as a red spear narrowly missed it's side, stinging the monster with the high temperature it created.
"Skri?"
"Skree!"
"Skir!"
The monsters made weird noises as they looked around the area, searching for a predator who they unfortunately wouldn't have the pleasure of seeing; Fen had already left that side of the area after he had thrown the spear.
Using a spellwork was a lot like putting a puzzle together. After gathering Mana, the caster had to piece together a few runes and inscriptions using his hands and Mana manipulation skills, which, if done correctly, would snap together to create the completed spellwork. Fen had believed that was the hardest part, but the final part was much harder than he thought.
To use the spellwork, he had to expend even more Mana to direct the magic towards his target, i.e. the warhog. (Fen decided to call them that. With their long tusks and angry appearance, they fit the bill). The greater distance between him and the target, the harder it was for him to control the spellwork, resulting in his miss.
"Well... it's good I came here for practice." A grim smile appeared on Fen's face, an expression that would be the last thing seen by many monsters unfortunate enough to see the young Vitul.