The executioner assigned to Fen met him somewhere deep in the facility, and followed him back to the Squad room. They didn't say much, and he couldn't even tell whether it was a guy or not, but the silence was a nice break. Fen was able to enjoy the 'nice' scenery of the Void on the way back.
His mind never got used to the sheer scale of the Void outside the facility. From here he see dozens galaxy swirls, with a multitude of dying stars waiting to burn out in the empty space. The dying stars were like blinking lights in the darkness of the Void, the only source of light here. When he first entered the Rift into the Void, Fen had saw terrifying monsters waiting in the darkness, hiding in the shadows, but now there was nothing. There were no signs that there were anything living in the Void, but from what Fen experienced within Dey's reality, he knew there was at least a living God within the space.
Archon Ellora confirmed the name of the beast that attacked him, a something-Shadow. She was going to reveal the rest of it's name but the executioner Yor shut her mouth again before she could speak. His actions only supported Fen's idea that the Foundation was hiding certain information from the candidates.
Otherwise, why would the Shop say: [Current Purchasing Level: Opfer]? The existence of those words implied that there were other levels of authority within the interface, which might reveal the hidden information.
It made sense. Otherwise, he'd know what kind of magic the Chosen were using, at least the names if not how they actually worked. Right now, he could only name them in his head with no official source of information.
After the Task, some information might be revealed. And with it, there might be more Lessons and spellworks- Wait! Lessons! That meant that Fen could finally leave Raisen's Training for another, hopefully more sane instructor!
...Now armed with the ability to leave Raisen, he didn't know if he actually wanted to leave or not. After all, the old Knight knew about his Vitul nature. It might be better to stay with him, or choose the next advanced course for Vitality manipulation.
Though Fen would then be stuck with him for a while longer, it sounded more appealing than having to hide his abilities and hope he wouldn't get exposed. Besides, there was no guarantee that Raisen wouldn't just expose him to the Foundation if he left, and honestly, he didn't want to take that risk.
Dey told him to trust the old Knight, but old habits die hard. It would be a while longer for Fen to trust Raisen completely.
The walk back to the Squad room was uneventful, but Fen did take notice of the strange absence of people in the hallways. There was very little sound except for the footsteps of him and the executioner escorting him, with the buzzing of energy currents running through the walls being the only other sound.
Well, Fen did see one other person; a girl with dark skin and hair walking out of the Task room with blood still on her hands. Her eyes were sunken into her face, as if she'd seen horrible things that never should be spoken out loud. It seemed the Tasks had a different effect on people who hadn't prepared themselves.
He walked away before he could see anything else. If he had stayed, he would've seen the girl collapse to the floor and start wailing in unknown agony from having to take a life. Honestly, it was better that he didn't see. He wouldn't be able to understand either way- he'd already dealt with the guilt of killing since the beginning of the Program.
Reaching the Squad room, it finally hit him that he might not see any of his Squad mates inside. They might've all been killed in the Task, or maybe they did survive and just couldn't find the strength to make the walk back.
Waving away the silent executioner, he pushed open the wide doors to see an empty hall. The room was the same as always, dimly lit up with the everlasting glow from the energy veins in the walls, but it looked darker for some reason, like something was missing.
'Ah. It's the noise. In the month that I've lived here, it's never been this quiet.' Fen thought.
Whenever Fen arrived back to the Squad room he'd always be alone for a while because his Lesson began the earliest, so he always took it upon himself to get some extra practice in their private Training Hall, with the sounds of his own training bouncing around the room and making him feel like he wasn't alone.
After him, Amelia was the second person to arrive back. Sometimes she'd spar with him (minus the explosion magic) or she'd rest on the couch and make simple conversation with him. Things like, 'how's the weather been lately? What school you from? What city?' It helped keep their mind off the pressure of the Program, to improve their skills while waiting for the inevitable test to survive. Fen had previously believed that he was the only one who fully understood that pressure, but he was wrong. It affected everyone in different ways. Some took it well, like him, devoting themselves to practicing and improving their skills to better their chances.
Others, not so well. In their practice together Gray had opened up a little with him, talking about how it was sometimes hard to sleep at night because of the nightmares. Horrid visions of death, people killing each other and themselves in terrible battles. Qin had been the one to comfort the kid, while Fen could only put his hand on his back to show that he was there and listening.
Qin... Fen still didn't know what to think of him. He acted tough and pragmatic, but there were so many times when he just looked like a vulnerable kid that only knew how to react, and not plan ahead. They were both younger than him, Gray by almost three years, Qin by one, maybe two. They didn't live through hardships like him and Amelia, who were able to experience and understand the cruelty of life.
Maybe...maybe they wouldn't be able to do it, to take a life.
"But if they couldn't do it, they'd be dead already." Fen muttered, trying to relieve the pressure that formed inside his head.
Small droplets of blood splashed on the floor, and he lessened his grip that had unconsciously tightened. The anxiety had made his tense, so he took a deep breath to relax his body.
Under his gaze, the blood started disintegrating before disappearing, with the gouges on his hand bubbling before smoothing over into new and healed flesh.
To take his mind of the fate of his comrades, Fen thought back to the power he used to kill his opponent. He was powerful. Through his fight with a Chosen he confirmed it, using his skills and abilities to kill someone who would've remained untouchable at least until the Program was halfway done. With even more powerful enemies coming to eliminate him, Fen would have to grow even more powerful, and improve his skills even more until he was untouchable.
With his skills, he'd protect his people. His family, Miko. Even Amelia, Gray and Qin if they came back from the Task.
Fen slammed his fist on the wall. "Dammit! I should've helped them more..." A voice choked full of emotion escaped him. Gritting his teeth, he willed his tears to stop falling, letting his mind sink deep into focus. For a moment, he almost let himself be influenced by his emotions. Pushing them to the back of his mind, he resolved himself to being in control of his emotions rather than letting his emotions control him.
But he needed a goal anyways, and seeing that survival was just going to be something he had to do anyways, powerful families within the organizations wanting to kill him and all, then protecting the people he had grown attached to might be a worthy goal to devote himself towards.
Wiping his eyes, Fen ordered some food from the interface and turned to take a shower in the Squad room. His body was still covered in the strange mixture of his own blood and sweat. While the food was being prepared, he changed into one of the spare uniforms he had, tugging the sleeves onto his shoulders. After noticing the rate at which he used them, Raisen was generous enough to gift him several extra sets of uniforms.
Finally clean again, he grabbed his food and settled down at the table, using the delicious food to distract his mind from the chance that all his Squad mates might not come through the door.
When the door finally opened Fen jumped to his feet and almost ran to see who it was, but he barely managed to still his moving body and put a calm expression over his worried face. The food helped somewhat in relieving his stress, but not by much.
It didn't matter however, as whoever opened the door took a few moments to actually enter the Squad room. With hesitant, tiny steps, the familiar figures of Amelia and Qin entered his vision. The two of them looked extremely tired and battered. Qin had a white material plastered over his arm, sizzling and reconstructing his skin, one of the many creations that the Healers developed to preserve their own magical energy by using an item.
Amelia had scorch marks around her body, but as Fen couldn't see underneath her uniform he only noticed the wounds on her face, her skin burnt red and black. It looked like she fought a flame Mage in close range and survived, thankfully.
"Oh, you're already back." Qin looked up at Fen with emotionless eyes- no, his eyes were just empty conduits of emotion. The raw emotions that he felt today had worn his mind to the point where he no longer cared towards anything.
"Yeah..." Relief on his face, Fen grabbed two more chairs for them and sat down with them. "You guys met up after the Task?"
Amelia nodded.
"I came out and saw him leaning on a wall. I grabbed him and went to the Healers." She gestured to the food on the table. "Killing make you hungry?"
"Ah, no. Well, a little. I had to do something while I waited for you guys so I grabbed some food. Here, want some?" She gratefully took the burger that Fen had left untouched. He offered some to Qin too, but he shook his head.
Fen let them eat for a bit before looking at the door.
"...And Gray?"
"I don't know. There's still time, not all the Tasks are finished yet. He could still come here, he has to. I found Qin waiting on a wall, maybe Gray's the same, just recovering from the fight. Or maybe he's at the Healers! Or a Training Hall. There's still some time left before... before-" She stopped her rambling when Fen put a hand on her shoulder.
It wasn't that her logic was unsound, but a bad feeling started to form in the pit of his stomach. A part of him already accepted it, having seen the return of two of his Squad mates as the best-case scenario. Still, Fen couldn't help but feel hope that maybe Gray was still out there somewhere in the facility.
"We should go look for him! He might be alone right now, and scared..." Amelia anxiously bit her lip, looking at Fen, her green eyes asking a silent question. Sighing inwardly, Fen stood up, walking towards the exit.
"You guys stay here. Someone has to be here in the case that he arrives; if he comes back and sees nobody then I don't know what might happen. Besides, I already recovered and ate, you can eat and maybe rest if you can.
"If he's in here, I'll find him. Don't worry too much. I'm sure he's fine." Even if Fen didn't fully believe his own words, he didn't see the need to make them worry even more. And, his lack of belief didn't mean that he'd slack in his search. Fen also wanted for Gray to be okay, even if he knew he had to be realistic.
The door shut behind him leaving his two Squad mates in the room where they could eat and rest, recovering from the stress the Task gave them.
Fen took off without much of a plan. At first, he did a grid search, going up and down the Foundation-built corridors while looking for any sign of Gray and asking the people he passed if they'd seen a brown-haired kid of around 162 cm in height (5'3). Unfortunately, those who had seen someone like him only sent him on a wild goose chase. Turns out, small brown-haired kids were extremely common in the Program. In total, Fen found three lookalikes, but no Gray.
Disappointed, Fen had to make the long trip back to the Squad room. The tiny optimistic part of him chose to belief that he must have missed him and that Gray was waiting for him back in the Squad room, but... as more time passed even that small hope started to flicker out.
Not looking where he was going Fen bumped into a person when crossing corridors. It was another youth of similar age to him, with blue eyes filled with hate and black hair on his head. Dark bags were under his eyes, like he hadn't gotten much rest. Without giving Fen the chance to apologize, the youth immediately asked him a question.
"Have you seen a girl, with dark skin and hair?" The youth grabbed the black uniform's fabric and tugged him closer until his words directly hit him in the face. Reaching up without answering, Fen grabbed his hand with enough force to make him release his grip. Grip released, Fen too let go of the boy's arm and finally answered.
"Your Squad mate?"
He nodded.
Fen scrunched his brows together in thought, trying to remember if he'd seen someone like that... An image popped into his mind; the girl with blood on her hands.
"Follow me. I saw her leave a Task, she might still be there if she hasn't gone back to your Squad room." Gesturing, Fen lead him back to where he last saw her. Along the way, Fen learned the name of the boy he was leading, Marcus. Apparently he was searching for her because the only candidate who returned to his Squad room was some annoying boy called Pastor or something similar, and Marcus couldn't bear to stay in the same place as him.
Through the labyrinth of hallways, Fen and Marcus eventually made it to where a shivering girl was balled up the floor. Seeing Marcus, recognition flashed on her face before she shot up and grabbed on tightly to Marcus' arm, loud sobs shaking her body.
His gaze, which was filled with bitterness and hate before softened as the small girl hung onto his arm. With a gentle hand, Marcus stroked her head, strangely remind Fen of him and Amelia. Stepping back so as to not interrupt, Fen headed back to his own Squad, a part of him content that at least someone else was able to find their lost Squad mate. While he was walking back, Marcus whispered something that Fen only caught the last part of.
"...she didn't make it. I'm so sorry, Orphinia." Whatever he said, it made the girl sob harder.
****
The wide doors of Squad 42 opened and closed for the last time that day, as Fen walked through to see the happy sight of Gray being hugged by Amelia and Qin, who had tears streaking down their cheeks. Hearing the sound of the door closing, Gray turned around. Fen had a smile on his face, which immediately froze in place as he saw the massive scar stretching across the kid's neck.
Expression frozen in place, Fen stepped forward and checked his neck, examining the wound for any other hidden damage that the Healers might've missed. Seeing none, he pulled Gray tight into an embrace, not needing to say anything to express himself.
What could he even say?
Sobs racked the small teen's body, expressing a guilt that no child should ever experience. The sobs ignited something within Fen, sparking a fierce hatred towards the Foundation for forcing something like this on Gray.