Fluorescent lights cast a disgusting illumination on the otherwise non threatening room. He watched them flicker, daring to shut down and envelope them in darkness. It was so infuriating how they would not die, yet no one would bother to change them. As if changing a lightbulb was hard. He drew in a breath as he drummed his fingertips on the doorframe. The Girl was still in the bed, unable to move. She had a head injury they'd over looked when she was first admitted. Luckily, they caught it in time, so there was no major damage. But still. He could feel the medical staff relieved that she survived, but angry it was overlooked. It was too much, but he had to feel it. He just wasn't sure why.
Yes, he got that he had a never ending penance going on, which he deserved, but why this one person? Why was he attached to this one fragile human life? He had seen people die, suffer- he had caused suffering. But he felt something for this person. Was it love? Or maybe he pitied her. Maybe she was just a manifestation of the love he never had, the halcyon that did not exist. No. He could feel her pain, her emotions. It was too much, and yet not enough. If he walked right up to her and stroked her face, she would not feel it. If he genuinely loved her forever, she would never feel it. She would never see him. He felt invisible in life, and now he was invisible in death. The loneliness of it all was just too much, yet he had to bear it. He simply had to. Something kept pulling him back in.
The moon illuminated the thoughts he dared not to acknowledge. If she really knew him, she would not love him. He knew this. Yet, he still felt like maybe, just maybe, she could. If he knew there was her out there in the world, he would have felt this hope in his human life. It wasn't fair, he kept telling himself, to find such a connection in death. But then he remembered that he did this to himself. He sighed and slowly crept closer to her. She was sleeping peacefully. Maybe he should just ignore the pull and walk away. Turn around and let someone else watch her. Or leave her to her own devices. But could he? He was afraid he couldn't. He gently sat at the edge of her bed. She stirred slightly. He just looked out the window. It wasn't like she could acknowledge his existence. To her, he simply did not exist. It was a cruel fate. He felt the rhythm of her breathing, her chest slowly moving up and down. Suddenly, her heart started beating faster. He turned to see her eyes open, shocked.
"Who are you and why are you here?" She asked in a weary, yet panicked tone. He stared at her in shock. Her hand slowly reached out to him. She grasped his fingers. She could see him. He opened his mouth to reply, but no sound came out. This had to be an illusion. She asked him again who he was. Every moment, she panicked more. He had to answer her.
"I'm a friend," he replied. She looked at him strangely. "But I don't know you," she replied.
He couldn't answer her. He hadn't planned for this at all. She could see him. He just looked at her and tried to figure out what to say. This wasn't supposed to happen.
To be continued