Chereads / You always make me happy / Chapter 4 - Searching for happiness

Chapter 4 - Searching for happiness

Chapter 4

Lure's POV

Since I was young my life is a real hell

I grow up in a family with very high expectations. I am the only child so they all expect me to be the perfect representation of Shiroi's family. My mother whom I always thirst to get attention to never shows love or care for me. All she cares about is how to get the favor of Shiroi's family so she just let me get suffocated with their rules and expectations.

But my father is the worst of all. He is a control freak. I have to do this, I have to learn that, then I can be like this or that? In everything, he is the one to decide for me.

I grow up without friends because he believes they will only be a distraction for me or they will just be a bad influence on me.

I remembered when I was 6 years old there was a stray puppy that came to our garden one morning. I played with that puppy.

For the first time in my life, I feel happy but that did not last long. My father saw the puppy and shoot it from our veranda.

I was so terrified. My tears are pouring while looking at the puppy slowly losing its life.

When I look back at my father, I felt incomparable fear. He just glares right at me.

"Tsk! Stop wasting time on useless things."

He said then he close his windows.

Our guards came out to take me inside.

.

.

.

One of them carries me while I'm crying. I look behind and see them picking up the puppy to throw it away like trash.

For so many years I was locked up in Shiroi's family mansion. This is my prison. All I do is just to breathe for his entertainment. I have to study everything to his standards. From academics, music, family tradition, and ethics to become a perfect lady that he only wants me to be. No one cares how I feel. I am like his robot being program to be perfect for him.

I never had any friend all those years until one day one of my tutor's daughter befriend me. She does not care about my family. She is nice and friendly to me but when my father heard about our closeness...My father brought misery to her family. Both of her parents lost their job. Their house was taken and forced to move away.

I tried to see her before she moves away but that moment terrifies me.

I saw him, my father from a window of a car near us. That moment brought back that terrifying moment when he killed that puppy.

I am so afraid...

"What are you doing here? You are unbelievable. My family suffered because of you so how dare you shown yourself here?"

"I...I...I'm really sorry..."

I stuttered because of fear. Will my father gonna shoot her...

I took another glance at him

-what should I do? I am so afraid of what he can do...I have to protect her...I will protect my only friend...this time I will...

"What I have done wrong to you? ...please stay away from me? These are all because of you. It's hell to be around you so just leave!"

She shouted at me. Her word pierces me deep inside...

My father looks at me with an evil smile then he closes the car window and drove away.

I am really tired of this life...why do I have to live like this?

Am I not allowed to be happy...Why do I always end up so miserable? I never want to be part of this family anymore...I just want to die.

I attempt to kill myself self before but even in death I never succeeded. He caught me before I slit my wrist. He slaps me hard in the face.

"Is this how you will waste all my hard work in raising you...you are so stupid!"

******

Few days after I was surprised when he allowed me to go to school. I thought because of what I did he change a bit and decided to give me a little freedom but I'm wrong...

I just befriend many people in school and that makes me feel happy again but it was all part of my father's plan.

The moment he realizes I got close to many people he threatened me that if I will not follow what he says he will make all people around me to suffer and if I attempt to take my life again he will make sure all the people who get close to me will continue to suffer.

He is so evil, how could he.

From then on I never let my self be close to anyone else again and always making sure to keep a distance from others...

While I suffer alone I just watched people around me being happy...

This is torture...

I thought that was the worst but my father always knows how to make my life more miserable...

"Next week you will meet the son of the Asakaya Family. It will be an important dinner so you have to fix yourself. By marrying him, you will secure our family honor and status. This will make us more powerful."

How could he? He will trade his own daughter for more power. Is this my only value to him.

I really want to disappear in this world.

-I'm sick and tired following him. I just want to disappear.

****The meet-up day.....

I run as fast as I could to escape from my bodyguards.

I don't want to get engage and be married to someone my father chose me to be with...

I don't want to be controlled by him or someone else anymore...

please just this once I really want to be happy...